Entertaining in a Disturbing Way

Seriously. I was thinking about Battlestar Galactica. And I wanna know, are there going to be ship wars? Because I think there are a total of three ships, right now, that could cause this.

Lee/Kara
Lee/Roslin
Adama/Roslin

Now, I figure you can discount the last, as the only people hating on it will be the Adama/Kara people, and there aren't that many of them.

But!

How long until Kara is called a slut and a whore and Not Right for poor innocent Lee? And, so, of course, he must be with Roslin, because she is so nice and lets him be himself!

Of course, the retaliation will be to make Roslin wishy-washy, and Old, because obviously, Lee is all Fruedian about her, so Kara will fix him with her Pure Love!

...And the slashers will be able to sit this one out, unless it's the Adama/Lee people, who will totally claim it's all about the Edgy Incest.

The Helo/Tyrol people will be a small minority, I suspect.

I want popcorn.

I've just figured out why the "If I don't get Sam/Jack resolved, I'm never watching again!!!!!" bothers me so much. Aside from the fact that it's not our show, so, whatever...

It's because it's SO childish. This is at the level of a 3 year old denied a candybar for good behavior.

No wonder everyone thinks the shippers are children.

(the same goes for the Farscape fans who said, "SG-1 took all the money from my show, I'll never watch it again!" and similar lines

*distracted* Oo. We have pudding.

Dear Sam and Jack shippers:

NO MORE.

Stop writing wedding fics where Sam leaves Pete for Jack. We've had a few good ones, but we've hit the limit. We do not need ten thousand of them just because you think your version will be the bestest EVER.

In reality, it's much more likely that they'll break up BEFORE the wedding.

So just stop it already.

And can we please have more fic with Jonas in it?

kthnxbai.

Er. Got some. Haven't read them.

But! Flipped through the SG-1 comic in the store...

And, dude, the artist is either a shipper, or the person who told him how to lay it out is. Sam and Jack are ALWAYS IN THE SAME PANEL. Occasionally alone, but rarely seen apart. It made me laugh insanely.

The art, sadly, is crap. The CSI comic has nice art, why couldn't the SG-1 have it, too? *whines*

But. Sam and Jack were tied up in the same cell! They SO done sex.

So. Have a question. There have recently been a bunch of fics where Sam suddenly starts having Naughty Dreams of her CO... And suddenly she can't function around him becausne ohmigod it's embarrassing!

...

Am I the only one who assumes the two of them routinely masturbate to thoughts of each other or half a dozen people? And that, in reality, they'd only be embarrassed if, say, they were CAUGHT?

So. Scary fic idea going through my head. I should be in bed, man. But I can't sleep. The cat won't let me, for one thing. (hey, we have Cheerios...)
Contains a s8 spoiler or two.
( Read more... )

So, anyway. Been bored and ranty, and it's hot.

Things Lyssie is Irritated by:

1. The header/pairing/typeofic/warnings that Must Be On Fic Or Ohmigod Someone dies. I'm so fucking sick of seeing them required on every damn SGfict list. I mean, jesus. We didn't require much in comicbook fandom. Even Batman/Robin only required a god-damned rating. I remember the "Ohmigod you must label slash!!@" argument, and ignored it.

But this stupid "Tell us if it's slash/het/gen fic or we won't read!" crap?

Here's a clue, people. Don't. Read. It.

Just avoid the whole fan-fiction thing.

Really.

Or, y'know, stop reading when you discover your own personal squick (I don't think I have any. I mean, hell, I wrote Daniel/Pete Shanahan, and may someday write Jack/Pete...).

Or, hey, if we have warnings, can we please have the "This sucks because I can't actually write" kind of warnings? So I don't waste that precious five seconds of skimming the first badly-spelled paragraph. kthnxbai.

Do other fandoms do this? Did I just miss comicbook fanfiction not doing it because I was in my own little world?

2. People who say "Farscape did 'ship right--which SG-1 hasn't" or "John/Aeryn/Chiana/etc would SO tell Sam/Jack/Daniel they were being stupid and Luv Conquers All"

Because. Dude. That's like comparing oranges to fucking seafood (I hear squid sex is amusing). The situations are completely different.

Do I think the UST is irritating? Sometimes. Do I think it matters? Not really. Do I think they're going to end it with either side resolved? Maybe. Do I CARE? Not really. I can, y'know, continue writing fic, continue doing painful things to people and... having fun mocking the show. Really.

...hrm. Need another glass of raspberry stuff.

Anyway. I'm just tired of it.

3. The place I work. I found out last night (I'm *still* pissed about this) why everyone was so depressed on Wednesday (well, not everyone, but most of us). The boss over our boss? Talked to J and A on Wed morning. I just, y'know, assumed she'd said nice things, "We're sorry, we hope you have a job again soon, you were a good worker, blahblah. Oh, and you have to train the new people."

But she didn't.

Nope.

Instead. She said, "We're really outsourcing this department because you people are incompetent." (paraphrased, but the sentiment is the same--and she did say the I word).

As someone who is IN the fucking department, I know she's wrong. They deal with crap every single day.

Crap I know I could, maybe, learn to deal with.

They do it without any guidelines, no scripts, just their wits and their intelligence and. They do it well.

And this bitch had the gall to tell them they were incompetent.

Jesus fucking christ.

4. Smarm, cosplay, mun.

OhmigOD do I fucking hate those words.

I've 'smarm' explained to me a few times. It never, truly, makes sense. (it's, like, fluffy friendship fic without teh sex... ohkay).

Dictionary.com sez: "excessive but superficial compliments given with affected charm "

Which, to me, is derogatory.

Friendship? Is not a bad thing. It's not fake, it's not false, it's not (generally) superficial.

So if you describe something as 'smarm' to me? I'm going to be looking for the falsity. And I'm going to just, most likely, think you're a dumbass for changing the definition. (have we reached a faux pas, baby?)

'cosplay'. Don't call me a cosplayer, don't tell me I cosplay. And don't tell the people I know who spend hours/days/years making their costumes that that's what they are.

It's a fucking stupid term and should have been dumped as soon as it devolved.

'mun'. Short, apparently, for 'mundane'.

...I swear, people make this shit up just to irritate the crap out of me.

Mundane, traditionally, meant, y'know, SOMEONE OUTSIDE OF FANDOM. Not your pathetic excuse for a life outside your thousand character journals.

I just.. improper use of terms pisses me the fuck off.

We had a woman today who had someone 'condensend' to her. Can I kill 98% of the American public? PLEASE????

So. I was trolling through yahoogroups, to see what other Atlantis groups were out there.

There's another John/Elizabeth one. It's not as fun as nos's, however. The fanfic rules? Make me want to break them. A lot.

1) ~* No sex.
2) ~* Minimal profanity and violence, (i.e. No beheadings, blood spurting, disembowelments, etc.)
3) ~* No demonic content. (i.e. witchcraft, possession.)
4) ~* Family friendly stories. (see #2 & #3)
5) ~* No homosexual couples. Only John/Elizabeth, but secondary couples are allowed, just not slash.
6) ~* Has to be G to PG-13.

I'm tempted to try and do it with only one hundred words... We'll see how that goes.

In the meantime, I should... get some water. Hrm.

I'm sitting here, reading Sam/Jack porn (Kate's. And. Dear god, I have to get her to post it elsewhere. It's fun), and it occurs to me that Nate? So knows about the hazards of cooking bacon naked.

Because he is often an idiot, and distracted, and so never *thinks* things through..

I'm sure Dom mocks him a lot.

Oh, dear, GOD. Again, I shake my head at the stupidity of 90% of the vocal people on the list. They're not happy enough with what was in the episode last night? Too. Fucking. Bad.

It's a TV show, people. Grow the fuck up.

Oddly, I've spent the morning writing emails in my head about Sam being domestic (doing dishes, and things, because Daniel does the cooking, and Jack's not there, and Teal'c merely gives her the "I don't do dishes" look)... I blame Elly.

However, yesterday at work I had the following popculturewhore encounters:

Someone was on the phone with a Mrs. Felger.
A Quesada sent in a comment card.
There was a Mark Wolper.
Aaaaand, I can't get away from the Shanahans! Help! (email from 'shanaclan'. I was SO hoping it wouldn't be... But it was. Sigh.)

In other news, it occured to me that I sort of miss Lindesfarne. I don't know that she was ever a big part of anything, but I remember her as being amusing. Pity.

Hrm. I should... go do the dishes.

Damn. Pity Carter's not here.