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vague thoughts of consternation
More rules to write Stargate fic by:
1. if your fic contains Pete Shanahan, please warn us. Some of us don't like him simply because we dislike the character (corollary: if your fic contains Malek or Kanan, warnings are essential). And being subjected to him is irritating. Though not as irritating as sappy Sam/Pete fic... which reminds me of really bad Rogue/Remy fic. *shudder* (dude, R/R should also have warnings. In six-inch tall bright red letters)
2. Sidebar to #1: if your fic contains Pete Wisdom, more power to you. There isn't enough of him.
3. Grace. Stop it. Sam is NOT having a child named Grace. Hell, the little brat wasn't ever fucking named. Stop making her Sam/Jack, Sam/Pete, Sam/Daniel, Sam/Teal'c/Bra'tac's child from the future who was there to saver her/was ascended and came back in time/etc. Children from the future are over and done with. The messiah is now lobotomized.
4. Sam is NOT young enough to have twins and twins and then another baby. And there's this thing called birth control. Sam would be on it. And, even if she's only 35, having a child every year probably isn't something she would WANT to do. Not to mention that there's no need to repopulate the entire damned planet on her own. So stop it already.
5. Jack, Jr. No. Just, NO. And stop with the Johnathans. It's irritating. (I don't care what was shown in 'Entity', people. For once, I think canon is fucked in the head).
6. Stop demonizing Laira, Sara O'Neill, Sarah Gardner, Jonas Quinn, Kynthia, Jonas Hansen, Pete Shanahan, Sam Carter, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, Jack O'Neill, General Hammond, Narim, Simon, Martouf, Anise/Freya, and any other character you feel you have to, just so YOUR ship can be shown to be the bestest EVER. None of these people is inherently evil, and all have very human characteristics that do NOT include world domination or being satan/jealous of everyone and everything/a stalker/a murderer (well, Jack is, canonically in black ops/special forces, which included sniping, most likely). So stop it already. (although Narim is irritating and possibly more superior and pathetic than even the Wraith)
7. Bra'tac is a god among men. Why the hell isn't there more fic with him?
8. Stop apologizing for perceived short-comings. If you don't think you can do it, write it anyway and practice! Of course, if you tell me the fic sucks, I'll probably avoid it. So don't ask me for a review.
9. Do not, under any circumstances, place author notes in the flow of your narrative. They don't belong there, you fucking idiot.
10. Jack is not going to be all fluffy bunnies and run around telling people he loves them every hour of the day. I don't care WHAT drug he's on.
11. Neither would Sam. Daniel, might. Teal'c... well, Teal'c is also not one to speak in so many words.
12. Pets. There's no way any of SG-1 could take care of an animal. They're not on world enough to give it the proper attention, even a cat. Sam had a cat, I hear cries. Yes. She did. And it died on the Tollan homeworld, so that shows how good SHE is at taking care of her pets. Daniel doesn't have time to talk to his hamster.
huh. I think that's it, for now....
1. if your fic contains Pete Shanahan, please warn us. Some of us don't like him simply because we dislike the character (corollary: if your fic contains Malek or Kanan, warnings are essential). And being subjected to him is irritating. Though not as irritating as sappy Sam/Pete fic... which reminds me of really bad Rogue/Remy fic. *shudder* (dude, R/R should also have warnings. In six-inch tall bright red letters)
2. Sidebar to #1: if your fic contains Pete Wisdom, more power to you. There isn't enough of him.
3. Grace. Stop it. Sam is NOT having a child named Grace. Hell, the little brat wasn't ever fucking named. Stop making her Sam/Jack, Sam/Pete, Sam/Daniel, Sam/Teal'c/Bra'tac's child from the future who was there to saver her/was ascended and came back in time/etc. Children from the future are over and done with. The messiah is now lobotomized.
4. Sam is NOT young enough to have twins and twins and then another baby. And there's this thing called birth control. Sam would be on it. And, even if she's only 35, having a child every year probably isn't something she would WANT to do. Not to mention that there's no need to repopulate the entire damned planet on her own. So stop it already.
5. Jack, Jr. No. Just, NO. And stop with the Johnathans. It's irritating. (I don't care what was shown in 'Entity', people. For once, I think canon is fucked in the head).
6. Stop demonizing Laira, Sara O'Neill, Sarah Gardner, Jonas Quinn, Kynthia, Jonas Hansen, Pete Shanahan, Sam Carter, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, Jack O'Neill, General Hammond, Narim, Simon, Martouf, Anise/Freya, and any other character you feel you have to, just so YOUR ship can be shown to be the bestest EVER. None of these people is inherently evil, and all have very human characteristics that do NOT include world domination or being satan/jealous of everyone and everything/a stalker/a murderer (well, Jack is, canonically in black ops/special forces, which included sniping, most likely). So stop it already. (although Narim is irritating and possibly more superior and pathetic than even the Wraith)
7. Bra'tac is a god among men. Why the hell isn't there more fic with him?
8. Stop apologizing for perceived short-comings. If you don't think you can do it, write it anyway and practice! Of course, if you tell me the fic sucks, I'll probably avoid it. So don't ask me for a review.
9. Do not, under any circumstances, place author notes in the flow of your narrative. They don't belong there, you fucking idiot.
10. Jack is not going to be all fluffy bunnies and run around telling people he loves them every hour of the day. I don't care WHAT drug he's on.
11. Neither would Sam. Daniel, might. Teal'c... well, Teal'c is also not one to speak in so many words.
12. Pets. There's no way any of SG-1 could take care of an animal. They're not on world enough to give it the proper attention, even a cat. Sam had a cat, I hear cries. Yes. She did. And it died on the Tollan homeworld, so that shows how good SHE is at taking care of her pets. Daniel doesn't have time to talk to his hamster.
huh. I think that's it, for now....
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Argh. I hate that with a passion.
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the apocalypsea seriously bad writer. I read one such story yesterday on the Pit Of Voles. It actually made me want to rip out my eyeballs and pour acid directly into my skull so I could make it stop.no subject
Ok, got it!
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13. Northern Minesota is at least a fourteen hour drive from Colorado Springs. I've MapQuest-ed it. Jack and/or Sam cannot make the jaunt up to Jack's cabin in two hours, nor will they most likely make it in on day's drive.
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But two hours? No way.
*suspicious glance*
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But, yeah. The fics where they magically get from Colorado Springs to MN in two hours scare me...
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I also basically agree with #3...though...I thought she was unconsciously wanting a daughter, no matter from whom (though my shipper heart is currently yelling "Jack of course you fool therefore she heard the song as he left the infirmary"...:-) ) and no matter when. But I definitely agree that we don't need 100 more fics dealing with this topic in the same way. :-)
*sigh* There should be more rules...I also cannot see sappy Jack hugging everyone and loving everyone and all. Nope.
So...what I wanted to say was...You are so right!
:-)
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Exactly. Now, I'm down with Jack doing the casual groping of whoever his SO is. Because Jack and groping would just happen. But groping is not hugging/snuggling....
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*apologizes for the formatting* LJ wouldn't let me blockquote.
Forever and ever, Amen! Preach the word, Sister Lyss! I'm probably one of the few people who didn't hate Saskia Roper on sight, and actually felt sorry for her. Yeah, she was a wee bit unstable and rather manipulative, but she was fighting to keep her family together, and I couldn't fault her for that.
And yes, Sara O'Neill is not the most evilest bitch ever. Her child died and her husband wouldn't/couldn't talk to her about it or grieve alongside her. She did what she had to do to survive. The stats show that the divorce rate amongst parents who have lost a child is extremely high. Jack and Sara are no different.
And Pete, well, I hate Pete. He does remind me of a creepy, manipulative ex-boyfriend, but he wouldn't dare lay a finger on Sam in anger. Because he knows she could and would kill him and probably make it look like a mob hit. Then, she would have Jack feed the remains to an Unas whilst singing/whistling/humming an off-color Monty Python tune (maybe 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life') before anyone would ever even miss him.
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Its crazy how some
bad!ficfanfic writers turn that around and make it her fault somehow. o_0no subject
*kills those people dead*
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*groans and thwaps them*
In my opinion, Jack still loves Sara in the fact that she was the mother of his child, but I don't think that translates into anything but platonic love; Charlie's death ended any possibility of that.
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Yes. Pete wouldn't hit Sam because she would kill him. *completely agrees*
Although I still want to write that fic.
"Um, Jack?"
"Carter?"
"Pete hit me."
"Want him dead?"
"No, I just need help hiding the body. And I broke a nail."
"Aw, c'mere, lemme kiss it and make it all better."
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"Carter?"
"Pete hit me."
"Want him dead?"
"No, I just need help hiding the body. And I broke a nail."
"Aw, c'mere, lemme kiss it and make it all better."
Oh, that would so be canon if I had my way :D
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And, some of the things people do in fic to characters who are perfectly likable... disturbs me.
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*shudders*
And it... justsoundssowrong.
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Is your email address on your lj info page still good?
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Oh, A-fucking-MEN. In fact, any fic where Sam and Jack have like 6 kids and the entire story revolves around the kids, and S/J is like an inconvenient sidebar? Just make me shudder. Actually, forget the kids altogether. Just for me anyway.
Lyssie's complete guide to writing stargate! *snort*
*adds to memories*
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Unless you're William Goldman (a la The Princess Bride), who is a writing God and not subject to the rules of mere mortals.
...
...Sorry, felt it hadda be said. ;)
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Books have footnotes, I suppose (deChancie was good for footnotes)
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I just wanna say-a, I said I just wanna say a few words-a, can I get an AMEN?!
I am so going to write a Bra'tac fic just for you. With no homosexual undertones between him and Teal'c. Because there aren't.
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Wait, why am I bothering to protest? This is fandom. Of course they do.
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Hey, Schrodinger is so leading the Tollan resistance movement against the Goa'uld. You know it's true. ;)
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...er.
Personally, I think taking over the world would be a good side effect of having an ancient alien take over your body and soul.
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3. How is Grace even... er... I don't get how people thought Grace was Sam's kid, or even Sam's desire for a kid. That's just whacked.
4. *nods* She would have twins, then triplets, then a wee last one. It's so Irish omfg!
5. JACKINA!
6. I hate Laira and Pete; they're not "evil" in comparison to the Goa'uld or anything, but they're not characters that I like by any means. IMO, they are very flawed, so if a story exploits that, then okay. I don't think Pete would ever hit Sam, or Laira would, um, rape Jack or something, but I don't think stories have to necessarily treat every character with respect; some do, some don't, and it's a matter of interpretation- actually that's the same for all fics, ones that godify (...) or demonize chars. I dunno.
7. Jacob/Bra'tac fics are sorely lacking =( Not necessarily romantic, just them being two old dudes running around kicking butt, whee! Though a Jacob/Hammond/Bra'tac love triangle would be amusing (omfg)!
9. ??
10. BUNNIES.
12. Jonas had FISH. *hugs them; watches them die*
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*sad fangirl*
12. Dude. I forgot the fish. And Daniel still feeds them, although they had to replace them before Fallout, so Jonas didn't know they were dead....
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*sad* I liked the whole Grace thing in the beginning. Want to rip hair out now. (And also, may have to rename Sam and Jack's kids in one of my fics. God damn it. Yeah, don't say it.)
And I liked Sara O'Neill, damn it! She must be one strong woman, surviving all that. Anise, however... Are you sure she has human characteristics?
As for pets... does the stuff that grows in their refrigerator's count?
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So Sam is 35 in canon, or fanon? Daniel is actually older than she is? Even if Michael plays him younger, that is so not going to change Daniel's canonical age of 39.
Hehehe, Jack running around telling everyone that he loves them. *L* That's a hoot. So it is for the rest of them, too. *snickers*