Entertaining in a Disturbing Way

Karma Aster: And preggers...er, we're not talking the Spawn of Pete here, are we?
Analyssie: no. ew.
Analyssie: Jack's HeroSperm.
Karma Aster: Sweet.
Karma Aster: Do they get little microscopic capes?
Analyssie: *dies*
Analyssie: And masks, and little fencing foils!
Karma Aster: And little tiny wide-brimmed hats with feathers in them!
Karma Aster: It's very single-cell Scarlet Pimpernal!
Analyssie: *nods*
Analyssie: Complete with the foppish accent, and lace when off-duty.
Karma Aster: Oh, of course.
Karma Aster: Okay, damn, that is the single weirdest visual I have ever had.
Analyssie: *cackles*
Karma Aster: Sheesh...so do Pete's have this whole Count Rugen thing going on?
Karma Aster: I mean, complete with six fingers on the right hand?
Karma Aster: And the gleeful sadism?
Analyssie: yes!
Karma Aster: Or would that be Ba'al's?
Analyssie: Luckily, Sam's, er, birth control is made of naquadah-laced trinium.
Karma Aster: (dies)
Analyssie: (Jack's sweet-talk it)

- *smirk*

Fic (that has nothing to do with the log)

Disclaimer: Not mine. Rating: R/nc17. Sex. Corny.
notes: sleepy now. But. Porn! Pairing: Sam/Jack. Slightly ooc. Mention of Pete. Season 8. Going to bed now. This would, btw, be NOS' fault for suggesting that Sam and Jack would EVER, uh... anyway.

Virtual Fantasy vs. Reality
by ALC Punk!
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Disclaimer: Not mine. Rating: R/NC17. Lesbians!
Notes: Er.... This is X-Men, set vaguely current continuity, and since we all know she ain't dead... This one is a combination of people's faults. Jim Smith for demanding femslash, and Timey for pointing out that, uh, Dom hasn't completed the Summers set yet... Title is from 'Velvet Divorce' by the Sneaker Pimps.

This Perfect Working Order
by ALC Punk!
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Disclaimer: Not mine. Rating: PG13. ish.
Set: future season of Atlantis (sorta). Spoilers for SG-1/Atlantis through s8/s1.
Pairing: Weir/Sheppard
Notes: Liz wanted Lizzeh/Shep sex, but this is something a little different. And RC. She wanted RC, too.

Was listening to The Cardigans. This line started it:
This is the age when my past should be gone - The Cardigans 'Starter'

Unintentional
by ALC Punk!
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Disclaimer: Not mine. Rating: NC17. Sex, semi-unpleasant imagery.
Pairing: Sam/Jack, smaller versions.
Notes: needed to get this out. Title is borrowed from Belly's 'Untitled and Unsung' (omFG I love that song). This is angsty and full of cliche, and ends up having classic!otp involved, too. I feel like I wrote a bad 80's afterschool special.

Dedication: Kym. I fucking hate you right now (but you're still coming to A.j.'s for New Year's. So I can beat give you chocolate)

Untitled and Unwritten
by ALC Punk!
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ficlet. For Liz.
premise: Sam's phone rings off world. It's Simon, trying to reach Lizzie...
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Disclaimer: Not mine. Totally. Rating: R.
Set: Season 8, pre-Gemini.
Pairing: erm... Sam/Jack
Notes: Full explanation at the bottom. Although, this entire thing can be blamed on Jara, Liz, and Ryuu.

The Light and the Glory: The Life of Aurelia Maria Susanna Calarionsis
by ALC Punk!
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Disclaimer: Not ours. Rating: PG13.
Set: Season 8.
Pairing: Sam/Jack (this one should be a no-brainer at this point, although I suppose I could try Jack/Daniel or something, just to freak people out)
Notes: It all began, when I said: "dude! Jack missed the boat of making Sam dress like an elf!" whilst reading a recent addition to ff'net.
Ok. As Ryuu and I are frequently certain Jack and Sam have copious amounts of sex, we are ignoring Pete (we think he died of boredom while stalking Sam Carterr -- with two r's, so he followed the wrong woman. Or something).
(also, you should all think Christi for remembering pointy-toed elf shoes with bells)
....*doodley-doot*

A Christmas Story
by ALC Punk! And Ryuu
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Fluff.
No smut. Sorry.
Disclaimer: not mine. Rating: PG13
set: season 8, before Affinity.
Pairing: Sam/Jack.
Notes: well, I need to poke at the christmas challenge on s/j, but I think this fits. *is dead now* (I really should've looked this over. Am too tired.)

Drifting Without Controls
by ALC Punk!
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SCAM: Farscape/SG-1
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Set: for Farscape, it's season 3, pre-Self-Inflicted Wounds (but I didn't have the energy for mini!Stark and mini!Jool, although Thor could still find them...). SG-1: season 8.
Notes: erm. Liz is a bad influence. Also, is intensely shippy, Sam/Jackwise. Sorry. I guess.
Rating: PG13. some swear words.

Shrunken Menagerie
by ALC Punk!
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First one is light, sort of. Second is not. I am WAY too exhausted to remember how to do separate cut tags. Both have only been run through spell-check (I wanted them done, damnit)

SCAM: Blake's 7.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Rating: PG13.
Set: post-Terminal, but AU, Cally isn't dead (obviously), and I don't know how or why. (I don't explain them, I just write them).
Notes: Written for RSR, and it went places I was totally NOT expecting. Title is a Kirsty MacColl song. I needed something flippant.

Don't Come The Cowboy With Me
by ALC Punk!
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