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Entry tags:
SCAM: SG-1. FLUFF.
Disclaimer: Not ours. Rating: PG13.
Set: Season 8.
Pairing: Sam/Jack (this one should be a no-brainer at this point, although I suppose I could try Jack/Daniel or something, just to freak people out)
Notes: It all began, when I said: "dude! Jack missed the boat of making Sam dress like an elf!" whilst reading a recent addition to ff'net.
Ok. As Ryuu and I are frequently certain Jack and Sam have copious amounts of sex, we are ignoring Pete (we think he died of boredom while stalking Sam Carterr -- with two r's, so he followed the wrong woman. Or something).
(also, you should all think Christi for remembering pointy-toed elf shoes with bells)
....*doodley-doot*
A Christmas Story
by ALC Punk! And Ryuu
"I am not wearing these, sir."
General Jack O'Neill looked up from adjusting the belt on his Santa costume. Lieutenant Colonel Sam Carter was holding a pair of green tights up, a look of determination on her face. "Aw, Carter, think of the kids!"
"I am, sir." She raised rueful eyes to his. "Don't you think we could have gone with tights that were a bit less, er, tight?"
"Afraid they'll split?"
Carter's eyebrow went up, "No."
"Ah." Jack waved a hand, narrowly avoiding knocking his Santa hat off the bench. "Well, get dressed, I'll... go primp my beard."
Her face screwed up in a grimace, and she snorted, "I go under protest, sir."
"Just so long as you go, Carter." He waggled his finger at her.
"You owe me." She muttered darkly.
Considering the possibilities for a moment, Jack smirked. "Just as long as I don't die from lack of oxygen."
She rolled her eyes at him and began pulling the rest of her costume out. "Just keep the blood flowing to your brain, sir."
Tossing her a mock salute, Jack wandered over to the mirror and began fiddling with his beard while she disappeared (glaring at the tights) to put her costume on. This had all been Teal'c's idea. Something about the kids in his neighborhood (when Teal'c had a 'hood, for the three weeks he was allowed outside the SGC) not believing in Santa, and Teal'c thought it would be a good idea to show them there was a Santa. Or something like that. Jack had been more interested in imagining Carter in tights and elf ears. He was pretty sure she wasn't gonna wear the latter, though. Which was probably a good thing. Tights *and* elf ears would probably have made it very difficult for him to play Santa.
Although why Teal'c couldn't do it, he didn't know.
Something about jaffa making bad jolly fat men. Jack shot a glance down at his fake paunch and made a face.
"This thing is too short..."
Jack turned around and did a double-take. Yes, yes the tunic was just a little short. It barely covered the tops of her legs (*just* making it decent), and the view, well... He was quite happily distracted by the lean length of leg encased in green tights on display. "Mhmm..."
"Are you sure you got the right size, sir?" The tone of voice told him she might be glaring.
He didn't care. "Yup." He paused, then considered, still marveling at the Legs. "Maybe you should borrow Teal'c's...."
Carter said dryly, "Because mine would fit him perfectly?"
She had a point. "True, true... Maybe he can be a jaffa elf, or something." He let his eyes travel up and down the expanse of leg.
"Why do I feel like an object now?" Now, the tone of voice drew his gaze upwards. She had her arms crossed.
"Carter, you know I'd be lying if I said I loved you for only your mind."
A sigh gusted out into the locker room, and she reached out and poked the padding on his suit. "You are a bad, bad man, sir."
"*I* am Santa. I'm allowed to be bad." He smirked. "Although there could be time to be extra bad..." His eyebrows waggled.
She looked amused, "You're also a married man, Santa."
"I won't tell anyone if you don't that I've got an elf on the side." He leered happily at her.
"But think of the children, sir." The patented Carter-smirk twisted her lips.
Jack made a face. "Guess we shouldn't encourage the divorce rates..."
Lightning-quick, she leaned in and kissed his nose. "Nope."
He sighed. "I guess I get no Carter until later, huh?"
"Maybe." She grinned at him. "If you're a very, very good General."
"I can be a good General. Maybe." He leered a little.
"But, er, not too good."
Jack nodded. "I should, uh, make sure Danny and T are ready." He leaned in and kissed her nose.
"Yeah. And...sir?"
"Yes?"
"After this, you --" The patented Carter-smirk was in full bloom. "-- owe me."
"Until my jaw is numb?" He smirked back.
"Yep."
"Gosh, I'm going to just *hate* that." He said sarcastically. Oh, yeah. Stuck with his mouth occupied with Carter bits for hours on end? Really awful...
"Awww...poor baby."
"And by hate I mean, 'enjoy immensely making you scream'."
She kept a straight face as she replied, "It's a noble sacrifice, sir."
"I'm gonna..." Jack gestured towards the locker room door, "go. Before I say to hell with this costume thing and kiss you."
"Thanks." Pre-emptively, she stepped towards him, grabbed his collar, and kissed him.
Being kissed by Sam CArter while wearing a Santa suit had *not* been on his Top Ten List of Ways to Kiss Carter. Not even on the Top Fifty. Especially since there was a lot of padding between him and her. Although the padding would be a good thing, since he was going to have kids climbing on his lap. He tried to regain reality while simultaneously kissing her, mumbling against her lips, and sliding his hand down to grope her ass. Carter had a highly gropable ass, and it was now in *tights*. "Carter, there's this thing we need to do that doesn't include --" his other hand slipped under the tunic, sliding across silky skin, "-- sex in the locker room."
She sighed and kissed him extra hard before pulling away. "Oh, very well."
Grumbling, Jack retrieved his hands and readjusted his costume. Yup. Padding was a VERY good thing. "Danny. T. I am a man with a mission." He headed for the door.
She was grinning at him when she called, "Love you, sir."
He paused at the door to eye her legs some more, smirking slightly. "Love all of you, Carter."
"Thank you, General O'Neill." She said dryly, her eyebrow raised.
"Don't forget the pointy-toes shoes, Carter."
"I'll be there with bells on, sir." She eyed him eyeing her legs, then turned to her locker and pulled out the skirt belonging to her dress blues. "And a skirt."
"Elves don't wear skirts, Carter."
"THIS one, does."
He chuckled as he closed the door. This could prove to be an amusing night.
-f-
Set: Season 8.
Pairing: Sam/Jack (this one should be a no-brainer at this point, although I suppose I could try Jack/Daniel or something, just to freak people out)
Notes: It all began, when I said: "dude! Jack missed the boat of making Sam dress like an elf!" whilst reading a recent addition to ff'net.
Ok. As Ryuu and I are frequently certain Jack and Sam have copious amounts of sex, we are ignoring Pete (we think he died of boredom while stalking Sam Carterr -- with two r's, so he followed the wrong woman. Or something).
(also, you should all think Christi for remembering pointy-toed elf shoes with bells)
....*doodley-doot*
A Christmas Story
by ALC Punk! And Ryuu
"I am not wearing these, sir."
General Jack O'Neill looked up from adjusting the belt on his Santa costume. Lieutenant Colonel Sam Carter was holding a pair of green tights up, a look of determination on her face. "Aw, Carter, think of the kids!"
"I am, sir." She raised rueful eyes to his. "Don't you think we could have gone with tights that were a bit less, er, tight?"
"Afraid they'll split?"
Carter's eyebrow went up, "No."
"Ah." Jack waved a hand, narrowly avoiding knocking his Santa hat off the bench. "Well, get dressed, I'll... go primp my beard."
Her face screwed up in a grimace, and she snorted, "I go under protest, sir."
"Just so long as you go, Carter." He waggled his finger at her.
"You owe me." She muttered darkly.
Considering the possibilities for a moment, Jack smirked. "Just as long as I don't die from lack of oxygen."
She rolled her eyes at him and began pulling the rest of her costume out. "Just keep the blood flowing to your brain, sir."
Tossing her a mock salute, Jack wandered over to the mirror and began fiddling with his beard while she disappeared (glaring at the tights) to put her costume on. This had all been Teal'c's idea. Something about the kids in his neighborhood (when Teal'c had a 'hood, for the three weeks he was allowed outside the SGC) not believing in Santa, and Teal'c thought it would be a good idea to show them there was a Santa. Or something like that. Jack had been more interested in imagining Carter in tights and elf ears. He was pretty sure she wasn't gonna wear the latter, though. Which was probably a good thing. Tights *and* elf ears would probably have made it very difficult for him to play Santa.
Although why Teal'c couldn't do it, he didn't know.
Something about jaffa making bad jolly fat men. Jack shot a glance down at his fake paunch and made a face.
"This thing is too short..."
Jack turned around and did a double-take. Yes, yes the tunic was just a little short. It barely covered the tops of her legs (*just* making it decent), and the view, well... He was quite happily distracted by the lean length of leg encased in green tights on display. "Mhmm..."
"Are you sure you got the right size, sir?" The tone of voice told him she might be glaring.
He didn't care. "Yup." He paused, then considered, still marveling at the Legs. "Maybe you should borrow Teal'c's...."
Carter said dryly, "Because mine would fit him perfectly?"
She had a point. "True, true... Maybe he can be a jaffa elf, or something." He let his eyes travel up and down the expanse of leg.
"Why do I feel like an object now?" Now, the tone of voice drew his gaze upwards. She had her arms crossed.
"Carter, you know I'd be lying if I said I loved you for only your mind."
A sigh gusted out into the locker room, and she reached out and poked the padding on his suit. "You are a bad, bad man, sir."
"*I* am Santa. I'm allowed to be bad." He smirked. "Although there could be time to be extra bad..." His eyebrows waggled.
She looked amused, "You're also a married man, Santa."
"I won't tell anyone if you don't that I've got an elf on the side." He leered happily at her.
"But think of the children, sir." The patented Carter-smirk twisted her lips.
Jack made a face. "Guess we shouldn't encourage the divorce rates..."
Lightning-quick, she leaned in and kissed his nose. "Nope."
He sighed. "I guess I get no Carter until later, huh?"
"Maybe." She grinned at him. "If you're a very, very good General."
"I can be a good General. Maybe." He leered a little.
"But, er, not too good."
Jack nodded. "I should, uh, make sure Danny and T are ready." He leaned in and kissed her nose.
"Yeah. And...sir?"
"Yes?"
"After this, you --" The patented Carter-smirk was in full bloom. "-- owe me."
"Until my jaw is numb?" He smirked back.
"Yep."
"Gosh, I'm going to just *hate* that." He said sarcastically. Oh, yeah. Stuck with his mouth occupied with Carter bits for hours on end? Really awful...
"Awww...poor baby."
"And by hate I mean, 'enjoy immensely making you scream'."
She kept a straight face as she replied, "It's a noble sacrifice, sir."
"I'm gonna..." Jack gestured towards the locker room door, "go. Before I say to hell with this costume thing and kiss you."
"Thanks." Pre-emptively, she stepped towards him, grabbed his collar, and kissed him.
Being kissed by Sam CArter while wearing a Santa suit had *not* been on his Top Ten List of Ways to Kiss Carter. Not even on the Top Fifty. Especially since there was a lot of padding between him and her. Although the padding would be a good thing, since he was going to have kids climbing on his lap. He tried to regain reality while simultaneously kissing her, mumbling against her lips, and sliding his hand down to grope her ass. Carter had a highly gropable ass, and it was now in *tights*. "Carter, there's this thing we need to do that doesn't include --" his other hand slipped under the tunic, sliding across silky skin, "-- sex in the locker room."
She sighed and kissed him extra hard before pulling away. "Oh, very well."
Grumbling, Jack retrieved his hands and readjusted his costume. Yup. Padding was a VERY good thing. "Danny. T. I am a man with a mission." He headed for the door.
She was grinning at him when she called, "Love you, sir."
He paused at the door to eye her legs some more, smirking slightly. "Love all of you, Carter."
"Thank you, General O'Neill." She said dryly, her eyebrow raised.
"Don't forget the pointy-toes shoes, Carter."
"I'll be there with bells on, sir." She eyed him eyeing her legs, then turned to her locker and pulled out the skirt belonging to her dress blues. "And a skirt."
"Elves don't wear skirts, Carter."
"THIS one, does."
He chuckled as he closed the door. This could prove to be an amusing night.
-f-
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*squees again*
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*smoooooches*
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All HER fault.
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...guh. You rock.
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*cackles*
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*offers cookies*
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