....

am sad. Lonely. MISERABLE.

And at work.

And the batteries just died on my cd player. *does not kill people*

write me fluff, people.

(no subject)

So, as if the day hasn't already been sucktastic enough (it's cold, it's dreary, I have no fluff, I actually have almost nothing to do, I was feeling incompetent with my writing), I got flamed on ff'net. Now, normally, I simply ignore flames. But this one had to come at a time when I was feeling particularly pathetic...

First, let's examine the story this was attached to. It's 'Swimming', the Red Cap femslash I wrote a while back. Very few people even know what Red Cap is, let alone would read fic for it. In fact, if you read fic, you're either into Jo/Burns or Jo/Roper. Jo/Neve is so niche it doesn't even exist except in my head. Most people don't even LIKE Neve, much less want to see her boinking Jo. Ironically, this is a story I've been told could pass as original fiction. Good, original fiction.

I've just recently put it up because there's now a Red Cap category on ff'net. It's at the top of my list.

Supposition: I've pissed someone off, and they wanted to smack me down, therefore, they're bombing the first fic on my list.

From: Give up( notalentwhatsoever@yousuckass.com )

Ah, the name says it all, really. Although, I'm trying to decide how they've determined how I suck.

Yep I have come to a descion.
Good for you. Decisions can work wonders on the soul.

You are probably the saddest writer on this site.
Well, right now I am, yeah. It's been a depressing morning.

Your stories (all three of witch I have read) suck
Ah. A 3-story sample proves they all suck. *checks* At the top are 'Swimming', 'expiation', and 'Always Waiting For That Red Letter Day'. Ok. I'll give you points for saying they're sucky. Because they are all three kinda depressing. (I'm amused that they've been witched, btw. Does this mean I'm now cursed to write only angst forever and ever amen?). It's also three fandoms: Red Cap, NCIS, and Farscape. So, apparently, this person is wide-read.

you also don't seem to have a story with more than 15 reviews
I don't? Oh, horrors, that must prove I suck, especially since, as we all know, only discerning people leave reviews on fanfiction.net. And the level of quality? pshaw. What level? After all, someone's epic which has never seen a spell-check, beta, or logical common sense can garner more reviews than the best spelled, beta'd, logical fic ever.

now that is really sad because you do have over 50 stories.
Yes. Yes I do. In fact, I have 207 posted here. That doesn't count upwards of 20 completely plotless porn fics.

You should really quit writing.
From your (single) hand, to God's ears, I'm sure.

While you're wanking away, be sure to read (and loathe) 'Unfaithfully Pursuing the Policy of Truth', ''Getting a New Philosophy', and 'No Angry Drama'.

Cheers.

sigh. Earth 2 porn

SCAM: Earth 2.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: R/NC17.
Pairing: Devon/Danziger. Set: Eh, anytime during winter, I suppose.
Notes: Inspired, in part, by Breaking Benjamin's "So Cold". And also by Jack O'Neill sucking on his bottle of beer, and a hundred other little things.

Empty Inside
by ALC Punk!
( Read more... )

drabbley thing

Pete, dead, using the stuff in Val's pocket (Canadian penny, lint, chapstick). (inmyhead this is Gibbs and Ducky, but it really isn't)

"Cause of death?"

"A round piece of copper and nickel, roughly half an inch in diameter."

"You're joking."

"No."

"Are you saying this man was killed with a penny?"

"It's a *Canadian* penny. And he choked on it."

"Ah. Canadian. That makes all the difference, really. And the lint collected at his knuckles?"

"He appears to have been slightly obsessive-compulsive. The laundry had just been done."

"Weird."

"Chapstick had been smeared on the floor, causing his fall. We think he stepped on it, swallowed the penny wrong."

"Ok. Pete Shanahan, accidental death. I'll get the paperwork through."

"You do that."

-=----