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ETA: titles and notes added.
Disclaimer: not mine. Set: early season 8. There is no Pete. Seriously, people, just assume she never dated him, or dumped him, or whatever. I don't have the energy to explain. Sheesh. It's just porn.
Rating: R/NC17. Sex.
Pairing: Sam/Jack (if there was doubt, it wasn't mine)
Notes: This is based off a conversation Ryuu and I had. Most of the dialogue belongs to both of us. Turning it into prose was my task.
Archive: SJFic, yes please.
Solution to Boredom 101: The Closet Trick
by ALC Punk! and Ryuu
It had been another boring evening, all told. The brass were there in force, each taking time to express their approval or disapproval of Jack's handling of the SGC. Some of them even clapped him on the back. He was beginning to regret saying they'd host this damn thing, really. But then, Hammond had told him it would be good for him, as the new head of the SGC. And when General George Hammond, the man you've been following orders from for seven years, tells you to do something, you do it.
The evening was looking up, however, as Jack found his arm grasped firmly by Walter Harriman, the best Sergeant any General could ever have. And then Walter left him standing in one of the rooms just off the large function room, and Jack found himself confronted with Sam Carter. In dress blues.
It was a sight to make any man happy. Since she was offering him a beer, it was even better.
She chuckled at the way he gulped the drink, "Let us drown our sorrows together in good dark beer! Sir."
"...I'm drowning my sorrows now?"
"Of course."
Jack was baffled, "But... I'm not out there. And you're here. I'm happy."
A blush colored her cheeks, and she glared at him, then raised her glass to toast, "Very smooth, General." And then she stepped into him and slid her arm around his waist.
"I try." He reached up and ruffled her hair.
She leaned into him and licked his neck.
Jack raised an eyebrow, "Trying to get my attention, Carter?"
"Yes."
"It's working." He informed her, smirking.
"Good." And she smiled.
Jack kissed her cheek, "Now, what do you plan to do with it now that you have it?"
"I was thinking sex."
Despite the fact that, just beyond the door, there was an official function, Jack felt his body react with approval, "I like the way you think, Carter."
"That's good."
He ruffled her hair again.
"Do you have to keep doing that?"
Jack looked at her, innocent, "Is there a problem?"
"It's... kind of irritating."
Jack began creeping his hand down Sam's side. "Is it?"
"Yes. I'm not a child." She narrowed her eyes at him, then shifted slightly.
"I hope not!"
"I just... feel childish when you ruffle my hair." She moved again, setting her beer to the side.
He shrugged, "I guess I could try groping instead?"
"I'd be amenable to that."
"I only want to make you happy, Carter?" He informed her, his tone solemn.
She sighed and stepped away from him as the sound of laughter came through the door. "Yes, well, I suppose that's a little hard, considering there's a party going on."
Catching her around the waist, he bent his head and whispered in her ear (taking the moment to bite her earlobe), "So, how long until we get to leave?"
The knob turned on the door, and she jerked away from him, "At least an hour."
A few people drifted into the room, chattering. Sam smiled at them vaguely.
Jack slumped, wishing he could sidle closer to her without being conspicuous. Sadly, he could only stand next to her. She caught his elbow and urged him back out into the party proper, nodding and smiling at people who barely glanced at them.
"However." His lovely ex-second in command said, her voice soft, her tone rather low, "I do know where there's a supply closet that is, technically, in the party area. So... we wouldn't be leaving the party...."
"How long before someone starts looking for us?" He replied, just as quietly.
"With our luck, five minutes. But no one HAS looked for us for... a while. And Hammond's over there flirting with... dear god, I think that's Lieutenant Hailey's mother." She sounded disturbed.
Jack looked thoughtful as he considered things, "Five minutes..."
"I know, I know... short..." She released his elbow as they neared the door, and grabbed his hand. "Coming?"
Oh, the woman had such a way with words. He fought down a smirk and tugged her out into the hall. "Let's go."
"Right."
Jack knew she was smirking as she led him down the hallway. "So...this closet. It has a lock?"
"Yes, but we'll probably have to make sure no one can just unlock it and go in. I was thinking a chair under the knob."
"Kinky..."
Yes. She was smirking as she glanced at him, "I don't like being interrupted."
"This is true."
Sam stopped by a closet that Jack only vaguely remembered existing, glanced around, and yanked him inside. There was a quick moment of reshuffling, and then she locked the door while Jack grabbed a folding chair and shoved it under the knob.
Turning towards her with intent, Jack caught her shoulder, "Now, where were we-oh, yeah." His lips descended onto hers as her arms wound around his neck.
A sound distracted him from kissing her, and he pulled back.
The knock came again, and then Daniel's voice followed it, muffled, "C'mon, guys, I saw you go in here. Stop it and get back out."
Jack kissed Sam's neck, smirking against her skin as she arched, "If we ignore him, will he go away?"
"Mmm." Her head tilted back, and he nipped gently at the skin, "It's Daniel."
"So, we bribe him with some artifact." Jack murmured, lips trailing down to her shoulder where he moved her collar aside and sucked the skin.
Unfortunately, despite his expert attention to her neck, she still backed towards the door. He went with her. "Think that would work?"
Jack began running his hands over her back, feeling her shift beneath the fabric of her uniform. "If it's a big artifact..."
She pressed closer to him, sighing, then called, "Daniel, go away and I'll help you get a look at the artifact SG-20 brought back from P3X-159."
Adding his own voice, muffled though it was by Sam Carter's skin, Jack said, "And I'll...stay out of your office."
"Uh... Dr. Thompson already said I could have a glance at it." Jack could picture Daniel standing outside the door in his suit, arms crossed over his chest, looking just that little bit superior.
"Damn." He nipped at her neck, felt her gasp softly, and did it again. "Got any other ideas?"
A soft groan escaped her. "Yes. You. Never stopping."
"I like that idea."
"If you two don't come out in five minutes, I'm getting General Hammond." And they both heard him move away.
"Five minutes?" Sam asked, her voice hitching as Jack nibbled on her earlobe.
"You think we can't do anything in five minutes?" He demanded, hands sliding down to pull at her skirt. Jack smirked as he yanked the material up and over her hips, carefully rolling it so that it didn't wrinkle. Her slip followed.
"No, I think --" She groaned as he slid his hand between her legs, toying with one side of her underwear, just barely sliding his fingers inside, then out. "-- a *lot* can be -- accomplished."
Jack smirked, and spread her legs a bit, and then got his fingers inside the silk and lace, probing gently at her. She was slightly damp, and his finger dipping inside made her gasp. He backed her into the wall before removing his fingers and sliding her underwear down her legs until he had enough room for what he was planning.
Her breath was coming quicker, "Jack. Hurry up, damnit."
An eyebrow raised as he slid two fingers into her, smirking as she let out a soft little squeal. He moved slightly to one side so that he could angle his hand better, and his thumb brushed over her clit.
Sam grabbed his collar and turned her head, dragging his mouth to hers.
"Mmmf!"
He deepened the kiss, his fingers sliding in and out of her. She kept making small little noises, throttled down and swallowed by his mouth as both of them were very aware that not very far away were a lot of people who would be disturbed by this little exhibition. Not that Jack minded those little noises. Sam Carter was damn sexy when she made them. And if he was causing her to make them, all the better.
Moving his mouth to her neck again, he listened to her trying to control the noises she was making. Soft little moans that skittered up and down his spine like the high notes on a piano.
Firmly nipping at the spot just behind her ear that he knew got her, he jerked his fingers out, then thrust three into her, and slid his thumb across her clitoris again, the nail catching at it.
The stimulation was more than enough, and she came, her head slamming back into the wall and her free hand clapping across her mouth to contain the sound as she convulsed.
Smirking, he removed her hand from her mouth, holding her between himself and the wall, and kissed her. His fingers moved slowly inside of her, causing little aftershocks that made her squeak.
Finally, he pulled back, reaching his hand up to brush the hair from her face. "Think we can talk Daniel into another five minutes?" He shifted, a bit uncomfortably.
"I... don't know." She was still panting.
"Guys?" Daniel's voice sounded tentative through the door. "Are you really going to make me get Hammond?"
Jack sighed, "All right, Daniel." He shifted, and winced at the tight fit of his pants. Actually, maybe it would be a little while before he could rejoin the party.
Looking disappointed, Sam reached down and slowly removed his fingers. "Damnit, Daniel."
"Sam, you're supposed to be out here hob-nobbing. You don't see me and Teal'c hiding away in storage closets."
"...Daniel? Why are you ruining the moment for me?" demanded Jack. Although, having the moment ruined was a good thing. Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day, he told himself firmly. Unfortunately, Carter was still standing with her skirt up, her lovely legs encased in stockings that only reached her thighs.
"Because I haven't had a girlfriend for at least three weeks." Daniel replied, his tone almost sulky.
Jack sighed, "Pettiness is an ugly thing, Daniel." He carefully licked his fingers clean, enjoying the taste and wishing they had more time.
"Daniel, I'm taking you off my Christmas card list."
"That's my girl." Jack said approvingly, leaning in to kiss her chin.
"Do what you want. Just come out of there. Now."
"So...your place or mine?"
Colonel Carter looked up at him from under her lashes as she slowly rearranged her clothing. "Your truck is sounding better and better, but I think my place is closer."
Reaching out, Jack brushed her hair back into place. Margaret Thatcher, he reminded himself firmly. "It's a date."
"Good." Sam dragged the chair away from door, "Do I look fine?"
"You always do, Carter." He couldn't really help the leer. Really. Margaret Thatcher. Hell, he could do this. Apophis, naked. Yup. That worked.
Daniel was glaring at them when they opened the door. "Finally."
"You." Sam shook a finger at him, "Officially suck. I think I'll go tell Lieutenant Rush you have a hideous disease."
Jack tried not to smile as Daniel yelped, and the three of them drifted back into the main room. The irritated archeologist quickly abandoned them to mingle on his own again. Sticking with Sam, Jack eyed everyone with fake cheer.
A little while later, she was smiling sweetly at a passing General when she said, very calmly, "We have half an hour left. Think you can last?"
Sighing quietly, he shrugged, "A whole half-hour?"
"I know. We should... socialize." Her tone made it sound like it was the furthest thing from her mind.
Jack tried not to speculate on what was close to her mind. Because that would lead to non-icky thoughts, and then he'd have the mental image of her in her stockings, kneeling on his bed, and -- damn. He gritted his teeth, and reached down to catch her hand in his. "We're going to have to split up. I'll take the left side of the room. You get the right."
"All right," she agreed grudgingly.
He leaned close and whispered in her ear, "Then I'm going to take you home and fuck you until you scream."
A flush spread across her cheeks, and she growled. "You're an evil man. Good thing I like you. Now, to socializing! Or Hammond will do bad things to us."
"Of course you like me, Carter. And I like you too." He replied lazily, squeezing her hand. "Now go flirt with the Generals and get us funding."
"USAF Lieutenant Colonels aren't supposed to flirt, sir." She said primly.
"Mhmm. Go, Carter."
"Yessir."
Jack resisted the urge to smack her on the ass, and settled for watching her sashay away before turning with a sigh to do his duty.
-f-
Rating: R/NC17. Sex.
Pairing: Sam/Jack (if there was doubt, it wasn't mine)
Notes: This is based off a conversation Ryuu and I had. Most of the dialogue belongs to both of us. Turning it into prose was my task.
Archive: SJFic, yes please.
Solution to Boredom 101: The Closet Trick
by ALC Punk! and Ryuu
It had been another boring evening, all told. The brass were there in force, each taking time to express their approval or disapproval of Jack's handling of the SGC. Some of them even clapped him on the back. He was beginning to regret saying they'd host this damn thing, really. But then, Hammond had told him it would be good for him, as the new head of the SGC. And when General George Hammond, the man you've been following orders from for seven years, tells you to do something, you do it.
The evening was looking up, however, as Jack found his arm grasped firmly by Walter Harriman, the best Sergeant any General could ever have. And then Walter left him standing in one of the rooms just off the large function room, and Jack found himself confronted with Sam Carter. In dress blues.
It was a sight to make any man happy. Since she was offering him a beer, it was even better.
She chuckled at the way he gulped the drink, "Let us drown our sorrows together in good dark beer! Sir."
"...I'm drowning my sorrows now?"
"Of course."
Jack was baffled, "But... I'm not out there. And you're here. I'm happy."
A blush colored her cheeks, and she glared at him, then raised her glass to toast, "Very smooth, General." And then she stepped into him and slid her arm around his waist.
"I try." He reached up and ruffled her hair.
She leaned into him and licked his neck.
Jack raised an eyebrow, "Trying to get my attention, Carter?"
"Yes."
"It's working." He informed her, smirking.
"Good." And she smiled.
Jack kissed her cheek, "Now, what do you plan to do with it now that you have it?"
"I was thinking sex."
Despite the fact that, just beyond the door, there was an official function, Jack felt his body react with approval, "I like the way you think, Carter."
"That's good."
He ruffled her hair again.
"Do you have to keep doing that?"
Jack looked at her, innocent, "Is there a problem?"
"It's... kind of irritating."
Jack began creeping his hand down Sam's side. "Is it?"
"Yes. I'm not a child." She narrowed her eyes at him, then shifted slightly.
"I hope not!"
"I just... feel childish when you ruffle my hair." She moved again, setting her beer to the side.
He shrugged, "I guess I could try groping instead?"
"I'd be amenable to that."
"I only want to make you happy, Carter?" He informed her, his tone solemn.
She sighed and stepped away from him as the sound of laughter came through the door. "Yes, well, I suppose that's a little hard, considering there's a party going on."
Catching her around the waist, he bent his head and whispered in her ear (taking the moment to bite her earlobe), "So, how long until we get to leave?"
The knob turned on the door, and she jerked away from him, "At least an hour."
A few people drifted into the room, chattering. Sam smiled at them vaguely.
Jack slumped, wishing he could sidle closer to her without being conspicuous. Sadly, he could only stand next to her. She caught his elbow and urged him back out into the party proper, nodding and smiling at people who barely glanced at them.
"However." His lovely ex-second in command said, her voice soft, her tone rather low, "I do know where there's a supply closet that is, technically, in the party area. So... we wouldn't be leaving the party...."
"How long before someone starts looking for us?" He replied, just as quietly.
"With our luck, five minutes. But no one HAS looked for us for... a while. And Hammond's over there flirting with... dear god, I think that's Lieutenant Hailey's mother." She sounded disturbed.
Jack looked thoughtful as he considered things, "Five minutes..."
"I know, I know... short..." She released his elbow as they neared the door, and grabbed his hand. "Coming?"
Oh, the woman had such a way with words. He fought down a smirk and tugged her out into the hall. "Let's go."
"Right."
Jack knew she was smirking as she led him down the hallway. "So...this closet. It has a lock?"
"Yes, but we'll probably have to make sure no one can just unlock it and go in. I was thinking a chair under the knob."
"Kinky..."
Yes. She was smirking as she glanced at him, "I don't like being interrupted."
"This is true."
Sam stopped by a closet that Jack only vaguely remembered existing, glanced around, and yanked him inside. There was a quick moment of reshuffling, and then she locked the door while Jack grabbed a folding chair and shoved it under the knob.
Turning towards her with intent, Jack caught her shoulder, "Now, where were we-oh, yeah." His lips descended onto hers as her arms wound around his neck.
A sound distracted him from kissing her, and he pulled back.
The knock came again, and then Daniel's voice followed it, muffled, "C'mon, guys, I saw you go in here. Stop it and get back out."
Jack kissed Sam's neck, smirking against her skin as she arched, "If we ignore him, will he go away?"
"Mmm." Her head tilted back, and he nipped gently at the skin, "It's Daniel."
"So, we bribe him with some artifact." Jack murmured, lips trailing down to her shoulder where he moved her collar aside and sucked the skin.
Unfortunately, despite his expert attention to her neck, she still backed towards the door. He went with her. "Think that would work?"
Jack began running his hands over her back, feeling her shift beneath the fabric of her uniform. "If it's a big artifact..."
She pressed closer to him, sighing, then called, "Daniel, go away and I'll help you get a look at the artifact SG-20 brought back from P3X-159."
Adding his own voice, muffled though it was by Sam Carter's skin, Jack said, "And I'll...stay out of your office."
"Uh... Dr. Thompson already said I could have a glance at it." Jack could picture Daniel standing outside the door in his suit, arms crossed over his chest, looking just that little bit superior.
"Damn." He nipped at her neck, felt her gasp softly, and did it again. "Got any other ideas?"
A soft groan escaped her. "Yes. You. Never stopping."
"I like that idea."
"If you two don't come out in five minutes, I'm getting General Hammond." And they both heard him move away.
"Five minutes?" Sam asked, her voice hitching as Jack nibbled on her earlobe.
"You think we can't do anything in five minutes?" He demanded, hands sliding down to pull at her skirt. Jack smirked as he yanked the material up and over her hips, carefully rolling it so that it didn't wrinkle. Her slip followed.
"No, I think --" She groaned as he slid his hand between her legs, toying with one side of her underwear, just barely sliding his fingers inside, then out. "-- a *lot* can be -- accomplished."
Jack smirked, and spread her legs a bit, and then got his fingers inside the silk and lace, probing gently at her. She was slightly damp, and his finger dipping inside made her gasp. He backed her into the wall before removing his fingers and sliding her underwear down her legs until he had enough room for what he was planning.
Her breath was coming quicker, "Jack. Hurry up, damnit."
An eyebrow raised as he slid two fingers into her, smirking as she let out a soft little squeal. He moved slightly to one side so that he could angle his hand better, and his thumb brushed over her clit.
Sam grabbed his collar and turned her head, dragging his mouth to hers.
"Mmmf!"
He deepened the kiss, his fingers sliding in and out of her. She kept making small little noises, throttled down and swallowed by his mouth as both of them were very aware that not very far away were a lot of people who would be disturbed by this little exhibition. Not that Jack minded those little noises. Sam Carter was damn sexy when she made them. And if he was causing her to make them, all the better.
Moving his mouth to her neck again, he listened to her trying to control the noises she was making. Soft little moans that skittered up and down his spine like the high notes on a piano.
Firmly nipping at the spot just behind her ear that he knew got her, he jerked his fingers out, then thrust three into her, and slid his thumb across her clitoris again, the nail catching at it.
The stimulation was more than enough, and she came, her head slamming back into the wall and her free hand clapping across her mouth to contain the sound as she convulsed.
Smirking, he removed her hand from her mouth, holding her between himself and the wall, and kissed her. His fingers moved slowly inside of her, causing little aftershocks that made her squeak.
Finally, he pulled back, reaching his hand up to brush the hair from her face. "Think we can talk Daniel into another five minutes?" He shifted, a bit uncomfortably.
"I... don't know." She was still panting.
"Guys?" Daniel's voice sounded tentative through the door. "Are you really going to make me get Hammond?"
Jack sighed, "All right, Daniel." He shifted, and winced at the tight fit of his pants. Actually, maybe it would be a little while before he could rejoin the party.
Looking disappointed, Sam reached down and slowly removed his fingers. "Damnit, Daniel."
"Sam, you're supposed to be out here hob-nobbing. You don't see me and Teal'c hiding away in storage closets."
"...Daniel? Why are you ruining the moment for me?" demanded Jack. Although, having the moment ruined was a good thing. Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day, he told himself firmly. Unfortunately, Carter was still standing with her skirt up, her lovely legs encased in stockings that only reached her thighs.
"Because I haven't had a girlfriend for at least three weeks." Daniel replied, his tone almost sulky.
Jack sighed, "Pettiness is an ugly thing, Daniel." He carefully licked his fingers clean, enjoying the taste and wishing they had more time.
"Daniel, I'm taking you off my Christmas card list."
"That's my girl." Jack said approvingly, leaning in to kiss her chin.
"Do what you want. Just come out of there. Now."
"So...your place or mine?"
Colonel Carter looked up at him from under her lashes as she slowly rearranged her clothing. "Your truck is sounding better and better, but I think my place is closer."
Reaching out, Jack brushed her hair back into place. Margaret Thatcher, he reminded himself firmly. "It's a date."
"Good." Sam dragged the chair away from door, "Do I look fine?"
"You always do, Carter." He couldn't really help the leer. Really. Margaret Thatcher. Hell, he could do this. Apophis, naked. Yup. That worked.
Daniel was glaring at them when they opened the door. "Finally."
"You." Sam shook a finger at him, "Officially suck. I think I'll go tell Lieutenant Rush you have a hideous disease."
Jack tried not to smile as Daniel yelped, and the three of them drifted back into the main room. The irritated archeologist quickly abandoned them to mingle on his own again. Sticking with Sam, Jack eyed everyone with fake cheer.
A little while later, she was smiling sweetly at a passing General when she said, very calmly, "We have half an hour left. Think you can last?"
Sighing quietly, he shrugged, "A whole half-hour?"
"I know. We should... socialize." Her tone made it sound like it was the furthest thing from her mind.
Jack tried not to speculate on what was close to her mind. Because that would lead to non-icky thoughts, and then he'd have the mental image of her in her stockings, kneeling on his bed, and -- damn. He gritted his teeth, and reached down to catch her hand in his. "We're going to have to split up. I'll take the left side of the room. You get the right."
"All right," she agreed grudgingly.
He leaned close and whispered in her ear, "Then I'm going to take you home and fuck you until you scream."
A flush spread across her cheeks, and she growled. "You're an evil man. Good thing I like you. Now, to socializing! Or Hammond will do bad things to us."
"Of course you like me, Carter. And I like you too." He replied lazily, squeezing her hand. "Now go flirt with the Generals and get us funding."
"USAF Lieutenant Colonels aren't supposed to flirt, sir." She said primly.
"Mhmm. Go, Carter."
"Yessir."
Jack resisted the urge to smack her on the ass, and settled for watching her sashay away before turning with a sigh to do his duty.
-f-
no subject
Until Sam decides to fellate him on the drive.
;)
no subject
no subject