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Lyssie's not so graphic 'fandom secrets'
Am cranky at the world in general, which leads me to be obnoxious. Consider the following to contain lots of opinions and probable spoilers for many many things.
1. Character-bashing. Pointless waste of time. If half of your NCIS fic is a diatribe about how stupid and annoying Ari is, and how he should die, you've missed the entire point of fic-writing: ie, to entertain people. (hypothetical, of course. I don't read NCIS fic as it appears to all either be slash or het that makes me flee. Fast. And I hate Ari.)
2. Corollary to the above: if you can't manage to write a pairing/character without bashing the third wheel out, you're not a good writer, so stop. I don't care if canon dictates said person be there, you're an idiot. Failing stopping writing, find a beta reader who likes the character you hate, and listen to them when they tell you're full of shit and should re-write portions of your diatribe against Admiral Cain and why she should die in a fire.
3. If you don't like female characters and you're a woman, please shoot yourself in the head. Hint: gun barrel in your mouth, pointing up and back.
4. Reality TV is a waste of time.
5. Yes, I do think less of you if you ship boyslash pairings first.
6. If you tend to go on and on about how 'no one writes the women of Torchwood', please shut the fuck up. I've written the women of Torchwood, you just haven't noticed.
7. Every time an author of a small pairing writes fic for a pairing that ate fandom, I think less of them. This goes double if the small pairing was het and the large one is boyslash. Stop selling out for more feedback, assholes.
8. Anyone who goes on about how slash is transformative, subverting gender paradigms and that it's much more dynamic than het or gen loses any respect I might have had for them. Shut up. Just admit vaginas scare you.
9. Every time a female character hate thread pops up, studios see a hundred less reasons to bother writing female characters, much less good ones.
10. Feminism is supposedly about equality, not about how many men you can make have sex with each other.
11. BSG fandom: "OMG there's no slash!" Me: Please. Cry harder. Although I'd enjoy being in a fandom with more fic about the women if 90% of it weren't romance-novel schlock about how Perfect And True Kara's Love for Lee is.
12. Women do not need husbands and children to be complete.
13. Stargate: Atlantis is misogynistic tripe that glorifies women being second-class citizens, unable to make a decision because they're just not that intelligent. Remember, girls, you need a man to make those difficult decisions for you. Not only that, if you actually have a conversation with another woman, the only thing you'll be able to discuss is who you're sleeping with. Because men are the be-all and end-all of your world.
14. I honestly do think Kara Thrace ending up with Lee Adama would be complete and utter character-rape on Kara's side (on both, really). She's not the perfect little wife Lee wants, and to become that, she'd have to be lobotomized.
15. I really am writing the same fic over and over again and just changing the names. Sorry.
1. Character-bashing. Pointless waste of time. If half of your NCIS fic is a diatribe about how stupid and annoying Ari is, and how he should die, you've missed the entire point of fic-writing: ie, to entertain people. (hypothetical, of course. I don't read NCIS fic as it appears to all either be slash or het that makes me flee. Fast. And I hate Ari.)
2. Corollary to the above: if you can't manage to write a pairing/character without bashing the third wheel out, you're not a good writer, so stop. I don't care if canon dictates said person be there, you're an idiot. Failing stopping writing, find a beta reader who likes the character you hate, and listen to them when they tell you're full of shit and should re-write portions of your diatribe against Admiral Cain and why she should die in a fire.
3. If you don't like female characters and you're a woman, please shoot yourself in the head. Hint: gun barrel in your mouth, pointing up and back.
4. Reality TV is a waste of time.
5. Yes, I do think less of you if you ship boyslash pairings first.
6. If you tend to go on and on about how 'no one writes the women of Torchwood', please shut the fuck up. I've written the women of Torchwood, you just haven't noticed.
7. Every time an author of a small pairing writes fic for a pairing that ate fandom, I think less of them. This goes double if the small pairing was het and the large one is boyslash. Stop selling out for more feedback, assholes.
8. Anyone who goes on about how slash is transformative, subverting gender paradigms and that it's much more dynamic than het or gen loses any respect I might have had for them. Shut up. Just admit vaginas scare you.
9. Every time a female character hate thread pops up, studios see a hundred less reasons to bother writing female characters, much less good ones.
10. Feminism is supposedly about equality, not about how many men you can make have sex with each other.
11. BSG fandom: "OMG there's no slash!" Me: Please. Cry harder. Although I'd enjoy being in a fandom with more fic about the women if 90% of it weren't romance-novel schlock about how Perfect And True Kara's Love for Lee is.
12. Women do not need husbands and children to be complete.
13. Stargate: Atlantis is misogynistic tripe that glorifies women being second-class citizens, unable to make a decision because they're just not that intelligent. Remember, girls, you need a man to make those difficult decisions for you. Not only that, if you actually have a conversation with another woman, the only thing you'll be able to discuss is who you're sleeping with. Because men are the be-all and end-all of your world.
14. I honestly do think Kara Thrace ending up with Lee Adama would be complete and utter character-rape on Kara's side (on both, really). She's not the perfect little wife Lee wants, and to become that, she'd have to be lobotomized.
15. I really am writing the same fic over and over again and just changing the names. Sorry.
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Or, better yet, on a t-shirt?
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Teyla has the best 'I'm about to kill' looks.
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And it makes me want to reread my Nightside books...
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Do people really whinge about the lack of BSG boyslash? I guess I can't hear it over the noise of all the Kara/Lee prattle. There's a fair supply of BSG femslash.
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And, yes, there's a sadness and distinct discontent about the lack of boyslash that truly makes me roll my eyes.
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Just admit vaginas scare you.
I want THAT on a t-shirt.
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I got to explain to someone today that "feminist" means that radical idea that women are people and equal, not wanting women to be superior in every way. It was a win over the propaganda that "feminist" is a dirty word.
Yay in very way for fic about women!
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And, yes, exactly.
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Personally, I'm sick to death of all the Deep Thoughts, navel-gazing slash meta. Please, you're not saving starving children here - you're writing PORN! Without any women!
Plus their obsession with lube makes me cranky.
I have other issues, but I'll stop there.
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Thank you.
The odd thing is, I don't mind meta, but, sheesh. It's all been written by this point. Let's move along and just write porn/gen/whatever.
Now that I've gotten this off my chest, I should take my own advice.
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But the best line is the vagina one.
I think some people are just afraid of all the girl parts.
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That is the only conclusion I can come to. Sigh.
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I've been nodding vehemently through all of these (even the Torchwood ones, which isn't a fandom I'm into), 3 9 10 and 13 had me bouncing in my chair, and 12? How much do I agree with 12?! Even if I'm a hopeless het/shippy romantic, my own life is all about number 12. And happily so, thanks muchly!
I'll stop blathering now ;-)
This much awesome has a tendency to make me blather and flail ;-)
15 made me giggle :-)
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I will note that 12 also has the double corollary of: Men don't need babies/etc, either. AND, women and men who want them aren't stupid/etc.
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There is in my universe. I seem to have lots of it on my PC. Mostly written by Widget and Inlovewithnight, which is alwaysa a good thing :)
Now, Vaughn/Sark slash is hard to find, but then Alias is such a HET based fandom, despite the fact that the show is as slashy as hell. The Sark/Vaughn torture scenes are so inspring and Sark, bless, once gets described as "the beautiful man" so no hint there then :)
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Alias being more het-based is a bit surprising. If you'd asked, I would have said it was slashy. Hrm.
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1,2,3 !!!
5. I'm ambivalent about.
6. I can't answer to.
7!
8. x a million. Really, get over yourselves.
9. x a million. It just gives them lease to kill off the women without consequence. (See Lost. See Heroes.)
10. Duh
11. Say what?
12. I actually have a corollary to this one. Yes, I whole heartedly agree that women don't need husband and children to complete them. On the other hand I also hate that if a female character does become a mother, from that point on she is pretty much relegated to "baby in jeopardy" storylines... and that's about it. It's as though, for dramatic purposes, she's dead. And this does NOT refect the reality of life for women who are mothers. I hate what happened to Cally and Athena on BSG last year. Folding laundry and whining? Gah.
13. I can't answer to it.
14. You've sold me.
15. Nah.
4. Hmmm, there's a couple I kinda like - ducking incoming.
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I've got my fingers crossed it'll recover, this season.
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Amen to 1-4. I don't really have an opinion about the boyslash people, probably because I'm lucky enough to not be in a fandom where they're the overwhelming majority. But I just can't get into it at all. Why would you want to leave out the women? They're the best part!
7. Um. *Sits on K/L ficathon notes and whistles innocently* Hey, I pissed off one of their BNFs so I'm sure some of them won't write me reviews anyway. ;p *offers finished! K/S fic as penance*
8. There was this REALLY funny thread on F-W a couple days ago.
9. *kicks things*
10. Feminism does not approve of these shenanigans.
11. Fine with me. :D And I know part of it is my limited imagination, but I just have a hard time getting past a character's canon orientation. So while I would love to see more fic exploring relationships between say, Lee and Anders or Anders and Chief, I wish it didn't all have to involve sex. Not even because of the orientation issue alone -it's just hard to imagine those characters getting it on, for a few reasons. I ... sort of have the same issue with most femslash, not to mention Kara/Adama (!) though I'll read it and get something out of it if there's Kara. :D
13. *glad she doesn't watch that show*
14. I... get the same feeling sometimes. Though, I'm holding out hope that it's fandom that's done that to me with all the sexist badfic and the "Lee needs to take control/Kara needs a man who can keep her in line" crap, more than the actual characters. Grrr.
15. Aw, I don't think so. We all have recurring themes, that's all. *G*
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And that's a high estimate.
10. This is very true. I need an icon that says that.
14. It's the "Kara has to fix herself for Lee" part that is, in fact, somewhat canon, that makes me consider it. Because Lee? Does not want Kara Thrace. He wants some mythical, womanly wife who is only occasionally a brash bitch, but is mostly sweet and etc.
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1. Thank you. This happens in every. single. fandom. and I hate it. Even if I don't like a character, i'm not going to waste my time bashing them every chance I get.
2. Sigh, again. Happens too much, and it will throw me out of a fic faster than you can blink.
14. I used to not feel that way, but as the series has progressed and watching how fandom reacts to the two, i've definitely changed my opinion.
I pretty much agree with the rest as well, just don't want to make you read a mile long comment. ;)
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2. It's what makes reading anything in BSG hard for me. And causes ranting.
14. You know, the new promo images make me even crankier about this.
Sigh.
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(I had no idea it was so prevalent. But. Ew)
The fact that it is the female fans doing this blatant vagina-hating is very annoying. And worrisome. Sigh.
RAR.
And ranting is good, for it... hopefully stops you from killing your co-workers. AT LEAST, that is my theory...
eta: argh. But yes yes yes, everything you said.