lyssie: (Jenna princess)
lyssie ([personal profile] lyssie) wrote2008-02-17 04:17 pm
Entry tags:

Lyssie's not so graphic 'fandom secrets'

Am cranky at the world in general, which leads me to be obnoxious. Consider the following to contain lots of opinions and probable spoilers for many many things.

1. Character-bashing. Pointless waste of time. If half of your NCIS fic is a diatribe about how stupid and annoying Ari is, and how he should die, you've missed the entire point of fic-writing: ie, to entertain people. (hypothetical, of course. I don't read NCIS fic as it appears to all either be slash or het that makes me flee. Fast. And I hate Ari.)

2. Corollary to the above: if you can't manage to write a pairing/character without bashing the third wheel out, you're not a good writer, so stop. I don't care if canon dictates said person be there, you're an idiot. Failing stopping writing, find a beta reader who likes the character you hate, and listen to them when they tell you're full of shit and should re-write portions of your diatribe against Admiral Cain and why she should die in a fire.

3. If you don't like female characters and you're a woman, please shoot yourself in the head. Hint: gun barrel in your mouth, pointing up and back.

4. Reality TV is a waste of time.

5. Yes, I do think less of you if you ship boyslash pairings first.

6. If you tend to go on and on about how 'no one writes the women of Torchwood', please shut the fuck up. I've written the women of Torchwood, you just haven't noticed.

7. Every time an author of a small pairing writes fic for a pairing that ate fandom, I think less of them. This goes double if the small pairing was het and the large one is boyslash. Stop selling out for more feedback, assholes.

8. Anyone who goes on about how slash is transformative, subverting gender paradigms and that it's much more dynamic than het or gen loses any respect I might have had for them. Shut up. Just admit vaginas scare you.

9. Every time a female character hate thread pops up, studios see a hundred less reasons to bother writing female characters, much less good ones.

10. Feminism is supposedly about equality, not about how many men you can make have sex with each other.

11. BSG fandom: "OMG there's no slash!" Me: Please. Cry harder. Although I'd enjoy being in a fandom with more fic about the women if 90% of it weren't romance-novel schlock about how Perfect And True Kara's Love for Lee is.

12. Women do not need husbands and children to be complete.

13. Stargate: Atlantis is misogynistic tripe that glorifies women being second-class citizens, unable to make a decision because they're just not that intelligent. Remember, girls, you need a man to make those difficult decisions for you. Not only that, if you actually have a conversation with another woman, the only thing you'll be able to discuss is who you're sleeping with. Because men are the be-all and end-all of your world.

14. I honestly do think Kara Thrace ending up with Lee Adama would be complete and utter character-rape on Kara's side (on both, really). She's not the perfect little wife Lee wants, and to become that, she'd have to be lobotomized.

15. I really am writing the same fic over and over again and just changing the names. Sorry.

[identity profile] ysrith.livejournal.com 2008-02-18 12:41 pm (UTC)(link)
BSG - there is no slash

There is in my universe. I seem to have lots of it on my PC. Mostly written by Widget and Inlovewithnight, which is alwaysa a good thing :)

Now, Vaughn/Sark slash is hard to find, but then Alias is such a HET based fandom, despite the fact that the show is as slashy as hell. The Sark/Vaughn torture scenes are so inspring and Sark, bless, once gets described as "the beautiful man" so no hint there then :)
Edited 2008-02-18 12:42 (UTC)
ext_18106: (Anders thinking base by Tim!)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2008-02-19 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
*giggles* Yes, but there is not the overwhelming amount?

Alias being more het-based is a bit surprising. If you'd asked, I would have said it was slashy. Hrm.

[identity profile] ysrith.livejournal.com 2008-02-19 09:59 am (UTC)(link)
As far as I can see, and I am over-dosing on Alias fic at the moment, it is over-whelmingly het - syd/vaughn or syd/sark. Slash is rare and vaughn/sark even harder to find, which as you say is slightly amazing given the amount of times those two lovely boys spend together, fighting and even hot, and naked. I swear the end of season three is an ode to HoYay. Seriously. There is complete gratuitous nakedness between boys (while being totured) and snarky one-liners about masculinity. And lets just face it - in the finale, despite being a sociopath, but oh so cute, Vaughn ( who really cannot be that gormless as he has been living a lie and covering that up ) lets Sark go!!!!! In the epilogue, 7 years later, he has this cute but shifty look when Syd teases him about this. I have this whole thing where they meet up once a year, fight, have sex and then go back to wifey/arms dealing. It is love I tell you.