lyssie: (Jenna princess)
lyssie ([personal profile] lyssie) wrote2008-02-17 04:17 pm
Entry tags:

Lyssie's not so graphic 'fandom secrets'

Am cranky at the world in general, which leads me to be obnoxious. Consider the following to contain lots of opinions and probable spoilers for many many things.

1. Character-bashing. Pointless waste of time. If half of your NCIS fic is a diatribe about how stupid and annoying Ari is, and how he should die, you've missed the entire point of fic-writing: ie, to entertain people. (hypothetical, of course. I don't read NCIS fic as it appears to all either be slash or het that makes me flee. Fast. And I hate Ari.)

2. Corollary to the above: if you can't manage to write a pairing/character without bashing the third wheel out, you're not a good writer, so stop. I don't care if canon dictates said person be there, you're an idiot. Failing stopping writing, find a beta reader who likes the character you hate, and listen to them when they tell you're full of shit and should re-write portions of your diatribe against Admiral Cain and why she should die in a fire.

3. If you don't like female characters and you're a woman, please shoot yourself in the head. Hint: gun barrel in your mouth, pointing up and back.

4. Reality TV is a waste of time.

5. Yes, I do think less of you if you ship boyslash pairings first.

6. If you tend to go on and on about how 'no one writes the women of Torchwood', please shut the fuck up. I've written the women of Torchwood, you just haven't noticed.

7. Every time an author of a small pairing writes fic for a pairing that ate fandom, I think less of them. This goes double if the small pairing was het and the large one is boyslash. Stop selling out for more feedback, assholes.

8. Anyone who goes on about how slash is transformative, subverting gender paradigms and that it's much more dynamic than het or gen loses any respect I might have had for them. Shut up. Just admit vaginas scare you.

9. Every time a female character hate thread pops up, studios see a hundred less reasons to bother writing female characters, much less good ones.

10. Feminism is supposedly about equality, not about how many men you can make have sex with each other.

11. BSG fandom: "OMG there's no slash!" Me: Please. Cry harder. Although I'd enjoy being in a fandom with more fic about the women if 90% of it weren't romance-novel schlock about how Perfect And True Kara's Love for Lee is.

12. Women do not need husbands and children to be complete.

13. Stargate: Atlantis is misogynistic tripe that glorifies women being second-class citizens, unable to make a decision because they're just not that intelligent. Remember, girls, you need a man to make those difficult decisions for you. Not only that, if you actually have a conversation with another woman, the only thing you'll be able to discuss is who you're sleeping with. Because men are the be-all and end-all of your world.

14. I honestly do think Kara Thrace ending up with Lee Adama would be complete and utter character-rape on Kara's side (on both, really). She's not the perfect little wife Lee wants, and to become that, she'd have to be lobotomized.

15. I really am writing the same fic over and over again and just changing the names. Sorry.

[identity profile] stef94.livejournal.com 2008-02-18 07:30 am (UTC)(link)
OMG Iwanttohaveyourbabies, because, WOW, that is all so spot on!
I've been nodding vehemently through all of these (even the Torchwood ones, which isn't a fandom I'm into), 3 9 10 and 13 had me bouncing in my chair, and 12? How much do I agree with 12?! Even if I'm a hopeless het/shippy romantic, my own life is all about number 12. And happily so, thanks muchly!

I'll stop blathering now ;-)
This much awesome has a tendency to make me blather and flail ;-)

15 made me giggle :-)
ext_18106: (Jenna princess)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2008-02-19 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
No babies! *flees*

I will note that 12 also has the double corollary of: Men don't need babies/etc, either. AND, women and men who want them aren't stupid/etc.

[identity profile] stef94.livejournal.com 2008-02-19 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, see, you had me sooooo bouncy with the whole OMG I AGREE WITH YOU SO.MUCH. thing that I forgot to put in the all important disclaimer "-if- I ever wanted to have babies", which I don't, so no need to flee ;-)

And YES to the double corollary. Now if those men and women who want to be married and have babies only would respect my choices and wishes instead of looking at me pityingly like I'm crazy and don't know what I'm talking about..

I might be crazy, but not on this count

Forgot to add that also: women who have babies don't suddenly loose their brain.
It seems to be that way on tv, but IRL also. At least where I am. If you want to continue your career, you better not want to take extended maternity leave (beyond the ridiculously short few weeks we get here) or want to, you know, work part-time so your 8-month-old baby doesn't have to spend all week in daycare.

Here, when women decide to stay home for the first two years of their kids' lives, they're automatically regaled to being a secretary, admin assistant, or something else that's just this ginormous waste of their graduate degree and pre-pregnancy experience if they ever do decide to return to the workforce.
IMNSHO that's just the biggest pile of manure ever, but what do I know?

Does, "all people are equal, but men are a little bit more equal than women" ring a bell, anyone?
Makes me so.mad.
Edited 2008-02-19 05:57 (UTC)