morning crack!fic theory on BSG

[lyssie]

Spoilers for Revelations.


So, like, once upon a time, the FF stole the arrow of Apollo, opened the Tomb of Athena and got the map o Earth. Then they put the arrow back and went on their merry way.

Once they got to Earth, they nuked it, for shits and giggles.

And then, all guilty, they went back to the colonies and... did something to themselves so they wouldn't remember. And died. And were reborn. Or something.

Comments

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

The FF went to Earth, came back with "I Went To Earth And All I Got Was This Crummy T-Shirt" shirts (which none of them are ever seen wearing because, hello, they weren't kidding about the crummy and the ones that didn't fall apart in the wash shrank to the point where they'd be tight on Hera [and hello, no kids among the Cylons, yet]). While on Earth, they were such lousy houseguests that the planet unanimously and spontaneously keeled itself once they were out of sight. And the FF had so much bad tequila that they don't remember a thing about the visit.

...what? It makes as much sense as most of what Moore and Co. put out.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAH.

Yes. Why do you think I used my "Aeryn thinks Ron Moore is an idiot" icon?

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

hee. Well, I know if I had to live in a Ron Moore universe, I'd keel myself as quick as I could, more than likely.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

I'd shack up with the hottest guy or gal, knowing they were the harbinger of doom, probably

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

But if we follow BSG logic, that means they're also really awesome in the sack, right? ;)

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Yup. ;] (unless I make the mistake and end up with the Baltar)

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

Even so, he seems to do a good enough job that he doesn't have a horde of women out to keel him. And hey, he was good enough to keep Six interested. ;)

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Caprica had a mission. Letting him know he sucked in bed wouldn't have helped... Or maybe she hadn't had any comparison (unlike Tory)

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

Hee. See, I have no problem with believing Baltar doesn't suck in bed. And I don't hate him, unlike most of fandom. They need a villain, and he's actually...got some depth, and keeps trying to justify his asshattery to himself, which you hardly ever see in teevee. :)

[frolicndetour.livejournal.com]

Well the 13th Tribe built that temple to the 5 on their way to Earth, right? MAYBE the 13th Tribe were Cylons and the 4/5 are the only survivors? Dun dun dun....

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Yup! All of this has Happened Before, baby.

[scarfman]

Yeah, but that time they got to Earth and everyone was still there and Boxey grew up into Kent McCord.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

AHAHA. Oh, Jack Crichton would be amusing to discover.

[chev-y.livejournal.com]

And when they got to Earth there was this crazy outdoor concert happening where they picked up on this wild music played by this fabulous black left handed guitar player (but they still nuked the planet for shits and giggles) and it was so magical it stuck in their DNA.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Hendrix didn't die, he was kidnaped by Cylons!

[chev-y.livejournal.com]

And is the FIFTH!!!!!

[zahdahe.livejournal.com]

*FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES* I am seriously taking you to a proper doctor! You are so not well!

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*pouts* But what if they won't let me write porn in there?

[zahdahe.livejournal.com]

I will *seriously train them to obey you*!

[amazingly-shiny.livejournal.com]

Once they got to Earth, they nuked it, for shits and giggles.

*falls out of chair laughing* I love you Lyssie.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

I love you, too, babe. =)