So. So. For whatever reason (I think I was looking for Sabrebabe's "Looka Me!" fanart, tbh), I was googling for Pryde/Wisdom fanart. And one of the things I came across was a mock-up cover of Wisdom + Longshot in one of those team-up four-part things.

And.

And no.

Because this is what would happen:

Wisdom would be unable to handle Longshot's relentless adorablness, crack and kill him.

Then he'd call Kitty all guilty and remorseful.

Kitty'd be like "...you are an idiot."

And Pete would try to explain.

Then Kitty would point out that she is not calling Dazzler for him, and he's on his own there. But to tell Dazzler to call her for drinks some time.

But at the last moment, it would be discovered that Pete's gunshot/whatever actually gave Longshot the right coma-like-push to triumph over the bad guys or whatever. And then there'd be a party.

And Kitty would still refuse to call Dazzler for anyone (though she'd probably abscond with 'Ro and Jubes and maybe Meggan and Faiza and Jacqui for a girls' night out which coincidentally would meet up at a disco revival pub).

The end.

and then Kitty and Pete would make out awkwardly for old times' sake and then Marvel would cancel everything they're in for another Iron Man or Wolverine series or something

Disclaimer: not mine. Rating: 18+ there is porn here. And alcohol. And het.
Pairing: Kitty Pryde/Pete Wisdom
Setting: not-quite current Excalibur. I mean, this is after issues, um... 1, 2, and 3? Something like that. Yes, this means COMICverse. Not stupid fucking Ultimate or Emolution. Or, god forbid, movie.
Notes: This was written for one of the prompts of medie's porn battle, unfortunately, it got a little long.
Length: 1500+
Prompt: Kitty/Pete, Whiskey

In Vino Veritas
by ALC Punk!
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