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fic: BSG/Lantis, Knock 'Em Down
Disclaimer: not mine.
Rating: 13, violence, language
Pairings: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders, Athena/Helo, Elizabeth Weir/John Sheppard (think that's it) -- oh, implied Cadman/Teyla/Ronon.
Set: after the previous crossover, The One With the Wraith and Pony Show, which is, itself, set sometime during season three of Lantis and season three of BSG, post-Unfinished Business (on BSG's side).
Spoilers: Vague ones? I think?
Length: 3,300+
Prompt: Helo, Sheppard, Pedestal
Knock 'Em Down
by ALC Punk!
"We build them up, you know. Put them so high..."
Colonel John Sheppard shook his head, trying to concentrate on the panel across the hall from the cell door. If he could just develop telepathy, he could tell it to open the door. And he wanted it to open. He was getting a little tired of Captain Karl Agathon's incessant rambling. It wasn't the captain's fault, the Wraith had shot him up with something, some sort of 'enhancer'. John hadn't wanted to ask, but he'd a pretty good idea it made the meal spicier. Which was icky. Luckily, before they'd had time to feed, they'd gotten distracted by an attacking vessel. A hasty relocation of the prisoners had left John without ammo and Agathon without a brain--or his shirt. They really had been about to munch on him.
Unfortunately, for all he knew, the Wraith had decided not to return until Helo shut up. That could take a while. The man seemed to be stuck on a mental track where he talked about how great and complicated his wife was, and how everyone needed a woman like her.
Sensing it was going to be a really long night, John considered singing '99 Bottles' to pass the time. But he always got lost somewhere around 42. He wasn't sure why.
Besides, Agathon's rambling was going to keep them occupied with sound for hours yet.
A sound from the corridor made him stiffen, and he moved to one side of the door, waiting too see whether the Wraith passing would give him an opening or not.
Instead of a Wraith, Starbuck appeared in the doorway, looking, well, hot. And dangerous. John had to admit that a woman in black with a gun and a certain gleam in her eyes was distracting. She seemed to be all business, though, as she assessed the door, then flashed him a grin, "Sam, I think you brought just the thing."
Her husband appeared over her shoulder, took one look at the door and snorted, "Kara, I've got stuff that'll take out heavy raiders. That, we can probably shoot."
"And bring the Wraith down," John pointed out.
"A big explosion will, too."
The third member of the party appeared and growled, "What the frak's taking so long?"
Ronon had taken to Colonial swearing like a duck to water.
"We're having an argument about the lock," Anders supplied.
"Just blow it," snapped John, "The Wraith'll be down here as soon as the doors open, anyway." Probably.
"Maybe." With a glance at Helo, Sam Anders handed his weapon over to Starbuck and moved to fix a small blob of what had to be C4 to the webbing of the door. "Stand back," he suggested, tone mild.
Starbuck shoved his rifle back at him, "Go watch the end of the corridor, Sam."
"Yes, sir." He moved off, Ronon following.
The two disappeared around the corridor, and John moved back to prod Agathon in the ribs with the toe of his boot. "C'mon, man, we gotta get away from the door."
"Starbuck always did like explosions," Helo informed him before attempting to crawl backwards.
John helped him as best he could--Helo was a big, tall guy. And while John was tall, he wasn't that tall. Sometimes, with Anders, Agathon, Dex and Tyrol around, he felt the need to track down Lee Adama just to feel bigger than someone.
The explosion wasn't the loudest bang John had heard, but he definitely felt like his head would ring for days afterwards. It worked, though, disintegrating most of the webbing and leaving a gaping hole for anyone to walk through.
Starbuck hustled into the cell, prodding Agathon with a toe, "Helo, what have a I told you about playing with strangers?"
"Hey, Starbuck. Still hate Sharon?" He batted at her foot.
"As always," she rolled her eyes. "We didn't bring you a spare shirt, so you're stuck."
"Hey," Anders reappeared, watching the corridor carefully, Ronon behind him, "Nothing, yet. We should go, though. What's his deal?"
"They drugged him." Sheppard eyed Agathon. There was no way in hell he was going to get the man to his feet on his own, "A little help here?"
Anders grunted and stopped to grope his wife before holding his rifle out to John, "You might need this," then, once John had accepted it, he moved and grabbed Agathon's hands, hauling him to his feet. Once there, he got a shoulder under Helo's, keeping him upright. "C'mon, man, your wife is waiting back at the raider for you."
Making a note to find out how the fuck the random groping thing worked for the two of them (another note), Sheppard shouldered the rifle and moved to take point, "Ronon, cover." And also to find out where Teyla and--god forbid--McKay were, since he would have expected his team to save his ass, not this mixed grouping.
"And I'll play monkey in the middle," Starbuck muttered from right behind him.
John didn't jump, his attention focused on the corridor, "Which way?"
"Left."
A glance back showed him Starbuck half-helping drag Helo along. That would slow her reaction time a little, but Sheppard wasn't worried. Ronon was right behind them, and he trusted the man's ability to react faster than a cat in a box to an attack. Going left, he moved carefully, but quickly. Anders seemed to have Helo in hand, and the faster they were off this ship, the better. John spared a thought for blowing it up, but there wasn't time. Or enough explosives.
Still, the thought of crippling the ship was a nice one, "Anders, you got anymore of those party favors?"
"A few. What'd you have in mind?"
"Well," Sheppard paused to check down the cross-corridors, "Straight?"
"Straight."
"Well," he continued, carefully moving past and then motioning the others to follow as he and starbuck covered both ways, "I was thinking of planting some in key systems."
"As much fun as that sounds," Anders said, "We've already got that covered." He grunted, "Helo, I think you need to lay off the doughnuts, man."
"Frak you." Was Helo's cheerful reply. Luckily for their stealthy mode, Helo had stopped talking sometime before.
"Sheppard." Ronon called.
John was already tracking the slight movement before his mind registered that it was Teyla and Cadman, and not a Wraith. Teyla shot him a look, then slid past him to lend Anders a hand with Agathon, "Teyla? Cadman?" Cadman fell into step in front of Ronon with a choppy salute.
"The Wraith are occupied. I suggest we hurry," Teyla informed him.
"I get to blow things up next time, right Sam?" demanded Starbuck.
"Hey, baby, you're the one who wanted to rescue Helo. I would have sent you with Cadman."
"Yeah, yeah. Helo, you are so not worth missing exploding Wraith."
"Thanks, Starbuck."
"Hey, what am I, chopped liver?" asked Cadman, "I set good explosives like a good little demolitions expert."
Sheppard ignored the banter as best he could, concentrating on their escape route. Teyla directed him with a calm he didn't feel. The back of his neck was itching, like this was a bad plan. It was the same itch he'd gotten when he was in a plane, and something wasn't quite right. "This is too easy," he finally murmured.
"Yes." Teyla agreed.
Her agreement startled him, and he glanced back to find that she and Ronon were just as watchful as he, while the people from Galactica seemed almost relaxed. Cadman was bouncing a little on the balls of her feet, as if waiting for something. Given her accuracy with timers and detonations, Sheppard assumed it would be happening shortly.
And yet, Starbuck was the first one to hear the approaching bad guys. "Anyone hear that?" The question was rhetorical, as Ronon and Teyla had both tensed.
There was no cover. John looked back, "Don't suppose anyone noticed any doorways to duck into?" His tone was mild, but his question was serious.
"None," reported Anders as he accepted the pistol Starbuck handed him.
"Try to shoot straight, Sam."
"Hey." he objected, tone mild, "I'll have you know I can shoot better than you can."
She scoffed, "Yeah, right."
Damn. Frowning and trying to ignore them, John listened to the sound. It wasn't the march of booted feet, it was more metallic. Like the clank a 302 had when it landed on deck, even if the pilot was good enough to make it a soft landing. But there was something harsher about this sound. "That really doesn't sound like the Wraith," he offered, as they quickened their pace, looking for a place to make a stand.
"Maybe the toasters missed their favorite guinea pig," joked Starbuck.
"Hey!"
She ignored Helo, "If it is them, we might not make it back to the raider."
"Don't borrow trouble, Kara," Anders suggested, tone dry.
"Bite me, Sam."
"Not now, baby."
"Would you both shut up?" John asked as he came to a corner. Damn, if he was going to get shot by Cylons, he'd prefer it not be with the bickering old married couple at his back. "God. Rodney is less annoying."
"I'll tell him you said that," replied Teyla, her tone amused.
Sheppard didn't get a chance to answer as two centurions came around the corner and halted, red-lit eye-slits obviously investigating the sight before them. Not lowering his weapon, John called, "Hi. Mind if we walk past you?"
When the Cylons made no movement, John edged slowly closer.
This time, Ronon didn't say anything before the woman walked around the corridor. It was Athena, or maybe not, since she was wearing civilian clothing. She stopped and stared at them, then snapped, "Shut down."
Immediately, the centurions went dormant.
John didn't lower his rifle. "So. You gonna take us all in on your own?" he asked, tone mild. He wasn't sure which Sharon Valerii this was, but it didn't matter. Most of them seemed to have a hate-on for the colonials.
"No." She crossed her arms, and ignored John, gaze fastening on Starbuck, "Despite what you think, we don't all hate you. Some of us even remember the good times, Starbuck."
"You weren't there for them."
"Maybe I was. You'll never know."
"Keep thinking that."
Sheppard interrupted them, "Can we get the hell out of here before the nice Cylon decides she doesn't like us and calls some friends?"
"They don't know you're here," Sharon replied, and she sounded weary and defeated. She looked at John, eyes sad and dark, "You won't take me with you if I ask." It wasn't a question.
"Sorry, we're full up on our quota of Cylons. And Sharons."
"Yeah." She shook her head and moved to lean against the wall, "Now get the frak out of here before I change my mind."
They moved past her, Sheppard trusting that Starbuck or Anders would object if there was truly a problem. Neither did, though they were both tense. Ronon brought up the rear, walking backwards for several corridors without Sheppard asking him to.
It was a strange thing, to have the Cylons working against the Wraith. Neither of them liked the Atlantians or the colonial fleet, but they seemed to consider the latter two a lesser evil. Although John had to admit it was kind of nice, to have someone else taking on the Wraith for a change. Or some of them were, he amended, thinking about the report of a planet populated with bio-Cylons and Wraith living in supposed peace.
"Next corner, and we'll be in the open," Teyla whispered.
Looking back at Starbuck, Sheppard asked, "We got any way to make sure our Athena is really our Athena?"
"Yeah."
Taking her at her word, John gestured to Cadman and she moved to stand next to Teyla. "We're going to have to be quick about this. Starbuck, take Helo's other side. Cadman, you and Teyla cover for them. Ronon..." he waved a hand, "Do what you do best."
Ronon grunted as the others nodded, although Starbuck narrowed her eyes at his order before silently complying, shouldering Helo on her left side.
Good. John sucked in a breath, tasting the adrenaline at the back of his throat and then he slid around the corner and tried to cover the entire cavernous area before him.
A heavy raider was parked haphazardly on the bridge ahead of him. Sharon Agathon stood there. The second she spotted him, she moved to cover their retreat, gesturing, "Get onboard. Hurry, I don't know how much longer I can jam the Cylons."
"Hey, Boomer," Starbuck called, "Why'd you cry at my wedding?"
"I didn't," rolling her eyes, Athena snorted, "I wasn't AT your wedding. And don't call me that, I'm not Boomer anymore."
"Whatever."
Taking the tone to mean that this was their Boomer--or Athena, as she preferred--Sheppard gestured, "Let's get out of here. I think our welcome's a little worn."
"Helo!" Athena sounded worried as she turned her attention to him, "What happened to his shirt?"
"He lost it just for you, Sharon," cracked Starbuck.
"Hey, baby," Helo called, tone a little woozy. "You're so pretty." He smiled goofily at her.
Sam Anders snorted, "Man, you are so high."
"Are you sayin' Sharon's ugly?" Helo sounded belligerent as Sam and Kara moved him into the raider, Sharon following them.
Cadman and Teyla headed inside and then Sheppard looked at Ronon. "Let's go."
Once they were all inside, the hatch closed and Sheppard went forward to find Starbuck and Athena arguing over who was the better pilot. "Hey!" He called, "Starbuck flies us, Athena, you get on the wireless as soon as we're free and tell them to have Beckett ready to take blood samples from Helo. I'm not sure what they shot him up with, but it'd be good to know."
Starbuck smirked, saluted, and dropped into the pilot's chair.
With a disgruntled look, Athena moved to the radio that Rodney had wired in weeks before, when he'd first started playing with the raider. Sheppard didn't bother explaining to her that while she might be better attuned to the raider, Starbuck was the better pilot, he just ordered everyone to hang on as the ship lifted off. Taking his own advice, he moved to one of the odd alcoves that dotted the sides of the bridge and grabbed one of the support poles.
A deceptively small jolt indicated they'd lifted off, and then they were looping up in a lazy spiral towards the bay doors. Which were closed.
"Athena," Starbuck snapped.
"I'm on it," the Cylon replied, fingers flicking across control surfaces. The heavy raider shivered and then fired, large, high-velocity bullets smashing into the obstructing panels.
A gaping hole gave them a view to the starfield beyond the hive ship, Starbuck aimed them at it, kicking in the drive. The heavy raider leapt forward, twisting at the last second to fit neatly through the passage. She didn't even scrape, which John had been expecting, since the hole had looked a little too small.
Free, Starbuck dropped them down under the belly of the ship, flying close to the decking. Close enough, John was pretty sure he heard them scrape against it once. He had to admit the colonial pilot wasn't the worst pilot he'd seen--he was still iffy on her being the best, though she was definitely better than Athena. Better than most he'd seen, actually. Not better than he was, of course. He gave himself a mental pat on the back and promised himself more time in the heavy raider, so that, next time, he'd be the one flying their asses to safety.
"So," Sheppard asked, more to fill the time than out of any curiosity, "Were the Cylons already here, or was it just happy coincidence?"
"Happy coincidence," replied Sam. "But it looks like they're starting to hit every major vessel they come across."
On the one hand, John was glad that something was wiping out the Wraith. On the other, it meant that once they were done with the Wraith, they might turn their attention to other things: like the rest of the galaxy.
The raider suddenly lurched.
"Frak." Athena was staring at a readout, "Starbuck--"
"I see them."
And so did John, a second later, as two Cylon raiders streaked into view. The heavy raider abruptly banked and then twisted back on its course, as Athena fired the cannons. The claw-shaped ships didn't have a chance.
"Got 'em!"
"Starbuck," Sheppard ordered, "Get us back to Atlantis before they decide we make a good target."
"Yes, sir." There wasn't respect in her reply, but she did sort of mean it. The ship dropped, spiraling downwards as more raiders came into dradis contact. Radar, John thought sulkily, why couldn't they just call it radar? "Athena--"
The Cylon interrupted her with impatience, "Calculations almost done. There. We're good to go."
Starbuck didn't wait for the order, she just jumped.
-=-
"And I still say it wasn't my fault," Sheppard defended. It wasn't a fruitless defense, but it might end up being futile.
Elizabeth Weir snorted at him from across the conference room table. "Really? And I seem to recall it was your idea not to bother with an escort while you trained Captain Agathon in how to use the puddlejumper."
A snicker came from Starbuck, who was lounging backwards almost far enough to fall out of her chair. Next to her was Sam Anders, not quite as relaxed, but attentive and watching, as though expecting her to actually fall from the chair. "Helo attracts trouble, Dr. Weir. It's his best talent."
"Hey!" The now-recovered from his drug-induced state Helo was sitting opposite Starbuck and Anders. He even had a shirt on. "You're the one who has the most brig-time."
Elizabeth's lips twitched, and she coughed, "Thank you, Captains. I think, if everyone has finished giving their reports, that this meeting is adjourned."
"Thank the gods," Starbuck was out of her chair and halfway out of the room before Anders caught up with her after a quick bow to Elizabeth. He caught her hand, she elbowed him, and then they were out of the room.
"Damn." Sounding almost jealous, Cadman stood, "I need a husband."
"You? What for?" asked Teyla, raising one eyebrow.
"All that sex." And Cadman made it sound incredibly hot and dirty, all at once. She gave a theatrical sigh, "C'mon, Teyla, let's go make sure the explosives all got put away."
Helo had disappeared with Athena while Cadman made her observation, and that left Sheppard, Weir and Ronon watching the two women leave the room. John shook his head, sure that he hadn't really just seen Cadman proposition Teyla. Besides, Teyla liked guys. Ronon was looking oddly smug as he left, though.
"Do you sometimes get the feeling everyone is having sex but you?" It was an idle question, but Elizabeth sounded almost wistful.
John glanced at her and shrugged, "Nah."
"Just me, then," Her lips curled upwards, "You're still here, Colonel."
"Yep." John leaned back in his chair, in much the same way Starbuck had. "Just enjoying the not being captured or flown around by a maniac sensation."
"She's that bad?"
"Actually, she's that good." John admitted. Starbuck might even be a better pilot than he was. Not that he'd ever tell her that.
Elizabeth chuckled and stood, gathering her papers and palm pilot, "Well, I've got requisitions to go over, Colonel. I'm sure you've got marines to instruct, or weapons to check over, or a mission to plan."
"And a partridge in a pear tree, too."
That made her laugh.
"Y'know, I still don't get used to it."
She didn't ask what he meant, and John didn't say anything else. But he did follow her to her office and spend an hour arguing paperwork, Wraith politics, and whether the Steelers would win the Superbowl or not.
It wasn't sex, but it also wasn't going back to his room and feeling lonely.
Not that he did.
Mostly.
-f-
Rating: 13, violence, language
Pairings: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders, Athena/Helo, Elizabeth Weir/John Sheppard (think that's it) -- oh, implied Cadman/Teyla/Ronon.
Set: after the previous crossover, The One With the Wraith and Pony Show, which is, itself, set sometime during season three of Lantis and season three of BSG, post-Unfinished Business (on BSG's side).
Spoilers: Vague ones? I think?
Length: 3,300+
Prompt: Helo, Sheppard, Pedestal
Knock 'Em Down
by ALC Punk!
"We build them up, you know. Put them so high..."
Colonel John Sheppard shook his head, trying to concentrate on the panel across the hall from the cell door. If he could just develop telepathy, he could tell it to open the door. And he wanted it to open. He was getting a little tired of Captain Karl Agathon's incessant rambling. It wasn't the captain's fault, the Wraith had shot him up with something, some sort of 'enhancer'. John hadn't wanted to ask, but he'd a pretty good idea it made the meal spicier. Which was icky. Luckily, before they'd had time to feed, they'd gotten distracted by an attacking vessel. A hasty relocation of the prisoners had left John without ammo and Agathon without a brain--or his shirt. They really had been about to munch on him.
Unfortunately, for all he knew, the Wraith had decided not to return until Helo shut up. That could take a while. The man seemed to be stuck on a mental track where he talked about how great and complicated his wife was, and how everyone needed a woman like her.
Sensing it was going to be a really long night, John considered singing '99 Bottles' to pass the time. But he always got lost somewhere around 42. He wasn't sure why.
Besides, Agathon's rambling was going to keep them occupied with sound for hours yet.
A sound from the corridor made him stiffen, and he moved to one side of the door, waiting too see whether the Wraith passing would give him an opening or not.
Instead of a Wraith, Starbuck appeared in the doorway, looking, well, hot. And dangerous. John had to admit that a woman in black with a gun and a certain gleam in her eyes was distracting. She seemed to be all business, though, as she assessed the door, then flashed him a grin, "Sam, I think you brought just the thing."
Her husband appeared over her shoulder, took one look at the door and snorted, "Kara, I've got stuff that'll take out heavy raiders. That, we can probably shoot."
"And bring the Wraith down," John pointed out.
"A big explosion will, too."
The third member of the party appeared and growled, "What the frak's taking so long?"
Ronon had taken to Colonial swearing like a duck to water.
"We're having an argument about the lock," Anders supplied.
"Just blow it," snapped John, "The Wraith'll be down here as soon as the doors open, anyway." Probably.
"Maybe." With a glance at Helo, Sam Anders handed his weapon over to Starbuck and moved to fix a small blob of what had to be C4 to the webbing of the door. "Stand back," he suggested, tone mild.
Starbuck shoved his rifle back at him, "Go watch the end of the corridor, Sam."
"Yes, sir." He moved off, Ronon following.
The two disappeared around the corridor, and John moved back to prod Agathon in the ribs with the toe of his boot. "C'mon, man, we gotta get away from the door."
"Starbuck always did like explosions," Helo informed him before attempting to crawl backwards.
John helped him as best he could--Helo was a big, tall guy. And while John was tall, he wasn't that tall. Sometimes, with Anders, Agathon, Dex and Tyrol around, he felt the need to track down Lee Adama just to feel bigger than someone.
The explosion wasn't the loudest bang John had heard, but he definitely felt like his head would ring for days afterwards. It worked, though, disintegrating most of the webbing and leaving a gaping hole for anyone to walk through.
Starbuck hustled into the cell, prodding Agathon with a toe, "Helo, what have a I told you about playing with strangers?"
"Hey, Starbuck. Still hate Sharon?" He batted at her foot.
"As always," she rolled her eyes. "We didn't bring you a spare shirt, so you're stuck."
"Hey," Anders reappeared, watching the corridor carefully, Ronon behind him, "Nothing, yet. We should go, though. What's his deal?"
"They drugged him." Sheppard eyed Agathon. There was no way in hell he was going to get the man to his feet on his own, "A little help here?"
Anders grunted and stopped to grope his wife before holding his rifle out to John, "You might need this," then, once John had accepted it, he moved and grabbed Agathon's hands, hauling him to his feet. Once there, he got a shoulder under Helo's, keeping him upright. "C'mon, man, your wife is waiting back at the raider for you."
Making a note to find out how the fuck the random groping thing worked for the two of them (another note), Sheppard shouldered the rifle and moved to take point, "Ronon, cover." And also to find out where Teyla and--god forbid--McKay were, since he would have expected his team to save his ass, not this mixed grouping.
"And I'll play monkey in the middle," Starbuck muttered from right behind him.
John didn't jump, his attention focused on the corridor, "Which way?"
"Left."
A glance back showed him Starbuck half-helping drag Helo along. That would slow her reaction time a little, but Sheppard wasn't worried. Ronon was right behind them, and he trusted the man's ability to react faster than a cat in a box to an attack. Going left, he moved carefully, but quickly. Anders seemed to have Helo in hand, and the faster they were off this ship, the better. John spared a thought for blowing it up, but there wasn't time. Or enough explosives.
Still, the thought of crippling the ship was a nice one, "Anders, you got anymore of those party favors?"
"A few. What'd you have in mind?"
"Well," Sheppard paused to check down the cross-corridors, "Straight?"
"Straight."
"Well," he continued, carefully moving past and then motioning the others to follow as he and starbuck covered both ways, "I was thinking of planting some in key systems."
"As much fun as that sounds," Anders said, "We've already got that covered." He grunted, "Helo, I think you need to lay off the doughnuts, man."
"Frak you." Was Helo's cheerful reply. Luckily for their stealthy mode, Helo had stopped talking sometime before.
"Sheppard." Ronon called.
John was already tracking the slight movement before his mind registered that it was Teyla and Cadman, and not a Wraith. Teyla shot him a look, then slid past him to lend Anders a hand with Agathon, "Teyla? Cadman?" Cadman fell into step in front of Ronon with a choppy salute.
"The Wraith are occupied. I suggest we hurry," Teyla informed him.
"I get to blow things up next time, right Sam?" demanded Starbuck.
"Hey, baby, you're the one who wanted to rescue Helo. I would have sent you with Cadman."
"Yeah, yeah. Helo, you are so not worth missing exploding Wraith."
"Thanks, Starbuck."
"Hey, what am I, chopped liver?" asked Cadman, "I set good explosives like a good little demolitions expert."
Sheppard ignored the banter as best he could, concentrating on their escape route. Teyla directed him with a calm he didn't feel. The back of his neck was itching, like this was a bad plan. It was the same itch he'd gotten when he was in a plane, and something wasn't quite right. "This is too easy," he finally murmured.
"Yes." Teyla agreed.
Her agreement startled him, and he glanced back to find that she and Ronon were just as watchful as he, while the people from Galactica seemed almost relaxed. Cadman was bouncing a little on the balls of her feet, as if waiting for something. Given her accuracy with timers and detonations, Sheppard assumed it would be happening shortly.
And yet, Starbuck was the first one to hear the approaching bad guys. "Anyone hear that?" The question was rhetorical, as Ronon and Teyla had both tensed.
There was no cover. John looked back, "Don't suppose anyone noticed any doorways to duck into?" His tone was mild, but his question was serious.
"None," reported Anders as he accepted the pistol Starbuck handed him.
"Try to shoot straight, Sam."
"Hey." he objected, tone mild, "I'll have you know I can shoot better than you can."
She scoffed, "Yeah, right."
Damn. Frowning and trying to ignore them, John listened to the sound. It wasn't the march of booted feet, it was more metallic. Like the clank a 302 had when it landed on deck, even if the pilot was good enough to make it a soft landing. But there was something harsher about this sound. "That really doesn't sound like the Wraith," he offered, as they quickened their pace, looking for a place to make a stand.
"Maybe the toasters missed their favorite guinea pig," joked Starbuck.
"Hey!"
She ignored Helo, "If it is them, we might not make it back to the raider."
"Don't borrow trouble, Kara," Anders suggested, tone dry.
"Bite me, Sam."
"Not now, baby."
"Would you both shut up?" John asked as he came to a corner. Damn, if he was going to get shot by Cylons, he'd prefer it not be with the bickering old married couple at his back. "God. Rodney is less annoying."
"I'll tell him you said that," replied Teyla, her tone amused.
Sheppard didn't get a chance to answer as two centurions came around the corner and halted, red-lit eye-slits obviously investigating the sight before them. Not lowering his weapon, John called, "Hi. Mind if we walk past you?"
When the Cylons made no movement, John edged slowly closer.
This time, Ronon didn't say anything before the woman walked around the corridor. It was Athena, or maybe not, since she was wearing civilian clothing. She stopped and stared at them, then snapped, "Shut down."
Immediately, the centurions went dormant.
John didn't lower his rifle. "So. You gonna take us all in on your own?" he asked, tone mild. He wasn't sure which Sharon Valerii this was, but it didn't matter. Most of them seemed to have a hate-on for the colonials.
"No." She crossed her arms, and ignored John, gaze fastening on Starbuck, "Despite what you think, we don't all hate you. Some of us even remember the good times, Starbuck."
"You weren't there for them."
"Maybe I was. You'll never know."
"Keep thinking that."
Sheppard interrupted them, "Can we get the hell out of here before the nice Cylon decides she doesn't like us and calls some friends?"
"They don't know you're here," Sharon replied, and she sounded weary and defeated. She looked at John, eyes sad and dark, "You won't take me with you if I ask." It wasn't a question.
"Sorry, we're full up on our quota of Cylons. And Sharons."
"Yeah." She shook her head and moved to lean against the wall, "Now get the frak out of here before I change my mind."
They moved past her, Sheppard trusting that Starbuck or Anders would object if there was truly a problem. Neither did, though they were both tense. Ronon brought up the rear, walking backwards for several corridors without Sheppard asking him to.
It was a strange thing, to have the Cylons working against the Wraith. Neither of them liked the Atlantians or the colonial fleet, but they seemed to consider the latter two a lesser evil. Although John had to admit it was kind of nice, to have someone else taking on the Wraith for a change. Or some of them were, he amended, thinking about the report of a planet populated with bio-Cylons and Wraith living in supposed peace.
"Next corner, and we'll be in the open," Teyla whispered.
Looking back at Starbuck, Sheppard asked, "We got any way to make sure our Athena is really our Athena?"
"Yeah."
Taking her at her word, John gestured to Cadman and she moved to stand next to Teyla. "We're going to have to be quick about this. Starbuck, take Helo's other side. Cadman, you and Teyla cover for them. Ronon..." he waved a hand, "Do what you do best."
Ronon grunted as the others nodded, although Starbuck narrowed her eyes at his order before silently complying, shouldering Helo on her left side.
Good. John sucked in a breath, tasting the adrenaline at the back of his throat and then he slid around the corner and tried to cover the entire cavernous area before him.
A heavy raider was parked haphazardly on the bridge ahead of him. Sharon Agathon stood there. The second she spotted him, she moved to cover their retreat, gesturing, "Get onboard. Hurry, I don't know how much longer I can jam the Cylons."
"Hey, Boomer," Starbuck called, "Why'd you cry at my wedding?"
"I didn't," rolling her eyes, Athena snorted, "I wasn't AT your wedding. And don't call me that, I'm not Boomer anymore."
"Whatever."
Taking the tone to mean that this was their Boomer--or Athena, as she preferred--Sheppard gestured, "Let's get out of here. I think our welcome's a little worn."
"Helo!" Athena sounded worried as she turned her attention to him, "What happened to his shirt?"
"He lost it just for you, Sharon," cracked Starbuck.
"Hey, baby," Helo called, tone a little woozy. "You're so pretty." He smiled goofily at her.
Sam Anders snorted, "Man, you are so high."
"Are you sayin' Sharon's ugly?" Helo sounded belligerent as Sam and Kara moved him into the raider, Sharon following them.
Cadman and Teyla headed inside and then Sheppard looked at Ronon. "Let's go."
Once they were all inside, the hatch closed and Sheppard went forward to find Starbuck and Athena arguing over who was the better pilot. "Hey!" He called, "Starbuck flies us, Athena, you get on the wireless as soon as we're free and tell them to have Beckett ready to take blood samples from Helo. I'm not sure what they shot him up with, but it'd be good to know."
Starbuck smirked, saluted, and dropped into the pilot's chair.
With a disgruntled look, Athena moved to the radio that Rodney had wired in weeks before, when he'd first started playing with the raider. Sheppard didn't bother explaining to her that while she might be better attuned to the raider, Starbuck was the better pilot, he just ordered everyone to hang on as the ship lifted off. Taking his own advice, he moved to one of the odd alcoves that dotted the sides of the bridge and grabbed one of the support poles.
A deceptively small jolt indicated they'd lifted off, and then they were looping up in a lazy spiral towards the bay doors. Which were closed.
"Athena," Starbuck snapped.
"I'm on it," the Cylon replied, fingers flicking across control surfaces. The heavy raider shivered and then fired, large, high-velocity bullets smashing into the obstructing panels.
A gaping hole gave them a view to the starfield beyond the hive ship, Starbuck aimed them at it, kicking in the drive. The heavy raider leapt forward, twisting at the last second to fit neatly through the passage. She didn't even scrape, which John had been expecting, since the hole had looked a little too small.
Free, Starbuck dropped them down under the belly of the ship, flying close to the decking. Close enough, John was pretty sure he heard them scrape against it once. He had to admit the colonial pilot wasn't the worst pilot he'd seen--he was still iffy on her being the best, though she was definitely better than Athena. Better than most he'd seen, actually. Not better than he was, of course. He gave himself a mental pat on the back and promised himself more time in the heavy raider, so that, next time, he'd be the one flying their asses to safety.
"So," Sheppard asked, more to fill the time than out of any curiosity, "Were the Cylons already here, or was it just happy coincidence?"
"Happy coincidence," replied Sam. "But it looks like they're starting to hit every major vessel they come across."
On the one hand, John was glad that something was wiping out the Wraith. On the other, it meant that once they were done with the Wraith, they might turn their attention to other things: like the rest of the galaxy.
The raider suddenly lurched.
"Frak." Athena was staring at a readout, "Starbuck--"
"I see them."
And so did John, a second later, as two Cylon raiders streaked into view. The heavy raider abruptly banked and then twisted back on its course, as Athena fired the cannons. The claw-shaped ships didn't have a chance.
"Got 'em!"
"Starbuck," Sheppard ordered, "Get us back to Atlantis before they decide we make a good target."
"Yes, sir." There wasn't respect in her reply, but she did sort of mean it. The ship dropped, spiraling downwards as more raiders came into dradis contact. Radar, John thought sulkily, why couldn't they just call it radar? "Athena--"
The Cylon interrupted her with impatience, "Calculations almost done. There. We're good to go."
Starbuck didn't wait for the order, she just jumped.
-=-
"And I still say it wasn't my fault," Sheppard defended. It wasn't a fruitless defense, but it might end up being futile.
Elizabeth Weir snorted at him from across the conference room table. "Really? And I seem to recall it was your idea not to bother with an escort while you trained Captain Agathon in how to use the puddlejumper."
A snicker came from Starbuck, who was lounging backwards almost far enough to fall out of her chair. Next to her was Sam Anders, not quite as relaxed, but attentive and watching, as though expecting her to actually fall from the chair. "Helo attracts trouble, Dr. Weir. It's his best talent."
"Hey!" The now-recovered from his drug-induced state Helo was sitting opposite Starbuck and Anders. He even had a shirt on. "You're the one who has the most brig-time."
Elizabeth's lips twitched, and she coughed, "Thank you, Captains. I think, if everyone has finished giving their reports, that this meeting is adjourned."
"Thank the gods," Starbuck was out of her chair and halfway out of the room before Anders caught up with her after a quick bow to Elizabeth. He caught her hand, she elbowed him, and then they were out of the room.
"Damn." Sounding almost jealous, Cadman stood, "I need a husband."
"You? What for?" asked Teyla, raising one eyebrow.
"All that sex." And Cadman made it sound incredibly hot and dirty, all at once. She gave a theatrical sigh, "C'mon, Teyla, let's go make sure the explosives all got put away."
Helo had disappeared with Athena while Cadman made her observation, and that left Sheppard, Weir and Ronon watching the two women leave the room. John shook his head, sure that he hadn't really just seen Cadman proposition Teyla. Besides, Teyla liked guys. Ronon was looking oddly smug as he left, though.
"Do you sometimes get the feeling everyone is having sex but you?" It was an idle question, but Elizabeth sounded almost wistful.
John glanced at her and shrugged, "Nah."
"Just me, then," Her lips curled upwards, "You're still here, Colonel."
"Yep." John leaned back in his chair, in much the same way Starbuck had. "Just enjoying the not being captured or flown around by a maniac sensation."
"She's that bad?"
"Actually, she's that good." John admitted. Starbuck might even be a better pilot than he was. Not that he'd ever tell her that.
Elizabeth chuckled and stood, gathering her papers and palm pilot, "Well, I've got requisitions to go over, Colonel. I'm sure you've got marines to instruct, or weapons to check over, or a mission to plan."
"And a partridge in a pear tree, too."
That made her laugh.
"Y'know, I still don't get used to it."
She didn't ask what he meant, and John didn't say anything else. But he did follow her to her office and spend an hour arguing paperwork, Wraith politics, and whether the Steelers would win the Superbowl or not.
It wasn't sex, but it also wasn't going back to his room and feeling lonely.
Not that he did.
Mostly.
-f-
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And there will be more, I just need to expand a few bits of the fic I wrote at work--I had the silliest grin on my face the last half of the afternoon, and I BLAME YOU.
Thank you =)
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*bows* Glad to take the blame! Hehe.
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Poor Shep...I do hope he & Elizabeth take the hint from everyone else & just start groping each other under the conference table :)
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Also, I totally agree with your last sentence. ;D
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