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BSG rambling: Kara, Anders, and stability.
This will contain spoilers up through 'Scar'. It's not particularly coherent, but it is stuff I've been thinking about a lot.
First of all, despite her rebel persona, Kara in some ways, craves stability.
That's actually something I've wanted to say for a while. And Kara may not admit it to herself, at all, but on some level? She wants things stable. She wants a reality that has some sort of order to it (true rebels would have shot Cain without orders, they would be drunk and disorderly and never stop, and they wouldn't worry that Adama wouldn't love them anymore).
Seriously. What do we know about Zak? Very little. But Kara wanted him happy, and lied to make it happen. And that blew up in her face.
As atonement, she took the post with Adama, and she's been clinging to him like the family she didn't have ever since. When he betrays her about Earth, yep, she rebels. And then she comes back instead of staying on Caprica (and it's Anders' fault, btw, but I'm getting to that).
The fleet was at status quo for a while, and unless they're planning on retconning that Kara was running around frakking people and misbehaving, I'm pretty certain she didn't do much that was rebellious.
Tigh. Let's go back to the mini for a moment. Galactica's being turned into a museum, Kara is going to have to leave the one place she feels vaguely at home, and Tigh's being an ass. She doesn't care about her career, she doesn't care about her prospects, it's far easier to punch him and get thrown in the brig. The brig has to be somewhat familiar, as Lee notes that he's used to seeing her there -- here's a question, did she crave stability more after everything went to hell?
Back to recent history. Kara comes back, and all is A-OK. Dad still loves her, bratty brother still loves her, Mom's about to die, but still loves her.
Then Pegasus shows up, and Cain transfers her and Lee. And, yeah, Kara's a brat, but once Cain shows she values guts, Kara might actually kind of like it there. Aside from that, Pegasus appears to have a far more rigid military structure. Something Kara can rebel against and flail at.
And a bombshell. Dad wants her to kill the new bitch in town, someone Kara has a bit of respect for.
But she'll do it. Because she's loyal and Dad asked her.
Fast forward. Cain is dead, and Kara who kind of respected her (she did survive) now also has the knowledge that she could have been the one pulling the trigger. Hence, her speech at the funeral.
And then we have the pilots, as a whole. They're wild, they're crazy, they're all obnoxious. Kara just takes it one step further. She always has to be the best, y'know?
Sidenote: when is Kara not brought low by love? And I'm not talking just romantic, either. She cries when Adama hates her, she cries when he loves her... Romantically, she cries over Zak (once?). Non, she cries in the hospital during the Farm when hopped up on drugs. And here, she's breaking, and she's crying over Anders. But, er, not very much. (she cried in Kobol) -- okay, so, Kara actually cries.
This is a tangent. Kara lives life. She goes with her emotions, she feels things, and it's all there, right on the surface. (Except for anger, as someone pointed out, once). She's happy, she's sad, she's not ashamed to display what she feels. She's crying, she's raging, she's laughing, she's falling down drunk (Colonial Day? And how drunk was she when she fucked Baltar?).
Kara is all surface.
Anyway. Back to Kara and stability.
Anders. He's a decent guy, doesn't seem all that complicated, and he can keep up with her in the sack. He doesn't have a hundred little connections to her life that twist her up. And he's honest with her (as far as I can tell). And, scariest of all, he believes in her. He thinks she will succeed in her mission, hell, he thought so much of it he hid the arrow until she could leave.
That belief? It's a heady thing, especially when she doesn't know if Dad will forgive her (hey, if he doesn't, she has Samuel to fall back on).
So she makes her promise. In the heat of the moment--when she's clinging to reality, because she refuses to think about the farm--she promises to come back for him. Maybe even loves him a little (or a lot, after all, this is Kara, who grabs life by the horns and rides until she gets thrown, then gets back on and does it again). Certainly, she's infatuated with him.
She and Samuel did have an almost instant attraction, and he never pulled punches (they were both bruised after pyramid). He doesn't want her to be anything but herself, and he doesn't want her because she's Fleet, or a viper jockey, or whatever. He just wants Kara.
Right. Kara and stability.
Pegasus = rigid military control. Something Kara could rebel against. Cain respected her. Cain dead...
Cain dead leaves them all right back where they were: waiting for the Cylons to appear, stuck in a never-ending holding pattern.
It's enough to drive a sane person to drink.
Kara has always had the "drunken brawler" label, I think. It was an assumption we made long ago, and it's kind of weird to see it realized in full color on our screens. Although, she was a hell of a lot more controlled. No fighting, and she only beat herself up.
BTW? Hungover, Kara is still one HELL of a pilot.
I liked the idea that Kara knew the pilots who had died. Knew them all by callsign if not name. I think it's one of the things I've seen in fic a few times, actually. The litany of the dead. And it's one of the things that would make her a good CAG. It's also a detriment, as that guilt she's feeling for not being there to save them all might one day see her dead.
Hrm. Think that's everything I wanted to ramble on about.
First of all, despite her rebel persona, Kara in some ways, craves stability.
That's actually something I've wanted to say for a while. And Kara may not admit it to herself, at all, but on some level? She wants things stable. She wants a reality that has some sort of order to it (true rebels would have shot Cain without orders, they would be drunk and disorderly and never stop, and they wouldn't worry that Adama wouldn't love them anymore).
Seriously. What do we know about Zak? Very little. But Kara wanted him happy, and lied to make it happen. And that blew up in her face.
As atonement, she took the post with Adama, and she's been clinging to him like the family she didn't have ever since. When he betrays her about Earth, yep, she rebels. And then she comes back instead of staying on Caprica (and it's Anders' fault, btw, but I'm getting to that).
The fleet was at status quo for a while, and unless they're planning on retconning that Kara was running around frakking people and misbehaving, I'm pretty certain she didn't do much that was rebellious.
Tigh. Let's go back to the mini for a moment. Galactica's being turned into a museum, Kara is going to have to leave the one place she feels vaguely at home, and Tigh's being an ass. She doesn't care about her career, she doesn't care about her prospects, it's far easier to punch him and get thrown in the brig. The brig has to be somewhat familiar, as Lee notes that he's used to seeing her there -- here's a question, did she crave stability more after everything went to hell?
Back to recent history. Kara comes back, and all is A-OK. Dad still loves her, bratty brother still loves her, Mom's about to die, but still loves her.
Then Pegasus shows up, and Cain transfers her and Lee. And, yeah, Kara's a brat, but once Cain shows she values guts, Kara might actually kind of like it there. Aside from that, Pegasus appears to have a far more rigid military structure. Something Kara can rebel against and flail at.
And a bombshell. Dad wants her to kill the new bitch in town, someone Kara has a bit of respect for.
But she'll do it. Because she's loyal and Dad asked her.
Fast forward. Cain is dead, and Kara who kind of respected her (she did survive) now also has the knowledge that she could have been the one pulling the trigger. Hence, her speech at the funeral.
And then we have the pilots, as a whole. They're wild, they're crazy, they're all obnoxious. Kara just takes it one step further. She always has to be the best, y'know?
Sidenote: when is Kara not brought low by love? And I'm not talking just romantic, either. She cries when Adama hates her, she cries when he loves her... Romantically, she cries over Zak (once?). Non, she cries in the hospital during the Farm when hopped up on drugs. And here, she's breaking, and she's crying over Anders. But, er, not very much. (she cried in Kobol) -- okay, so, Kara actually cries.
This is a tangent. Kara lives life. She goes with her emotions, she feels things, and it's all there, right on the surface. (Except for anger, as someone pointed out, once). She's happy, she's sad, she's not ashamed to display what she feels. She's crying, she's raging, she's laughing, she's falling down drunk (Colonial Day? And how drunk was she when she fucked Baltar?).
Kara is all surface.
Anyway. Back to Kara and stability.
Anders. He's a decent guy, doesn't seem all that complicated, and he can keep up with her in the sack. He doesn't have a hundred little connections to her life that twist her up. And he's honest with her (as far as I can tell). And, scariest of all, he believes in her. He thinks she will succeed in her mission, hell, he thought so much of it he hid the arrow until she could leave.
That belief? It's a heady thing, especially when she doesn't know if Dad will forgive her (hey, if he doesn't, she has Samuel to fall back on).
So she makes her promise. In the heat of the moment--when she's clinging to reality, because she refuses to think about the farm--she promises to come back for him. Maybe even loves him a little (or a lot, after all, this is Kara, who grabs life by the horns and rides until she gets thrown, then gets back on and does it again). Certainly, she's infatuated with him.
She and Samuel did have an almost instant attraction, and he never pulled punches (they were both bruised after pyramid). He doesn't want her to be anything but herself, and he doesn't want her because she's Fleet, or a viper jockey, or whatever. He just wants Kara.
Right. Kara and stability.
Pegasus = rigid military control. Something Kara could rebel against. Cain respected her. Cain dead...
Cain dead leaves them all right back where they were: waiting for the Cylons to appear, stuck in a never-ending holding pattern.
It's enough to drive a sane person to drink.
Kara has always had the "drunken brawler" label, I think. It was an assumption we made long ago, and it's kind of weird to see it realized in full color on our screens. Although, she was a hell of a lot more controlled. No fighting, and she only beat herself up.
BTW? Hungover, Kara is still one HELL of a pilot.
I liked the idea that Kara knew the pilots who had died. Knew them all by callsign if not name. I think it's one of the things I've seen in fic a few times, actually. The litany of the dead. And it's one of the things that would make her a good CAG. It's also a detriment, as that guilt she's feeling for not being there to save them all might one day see her dead.
Hrm. Think that's everything I wanted to ramble on about.
no subject
It's the sort of thing James T. Kirk does in fanfiction and in tie-ins written by fans.
On the other hand, the first thing brought to my mind was the memorial service in Heroes. Perhaps just because I've watched that recently, twice.
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As strange as it is, considering all the denial she has with her relationship with Lee, I think Kara is honest with her emotions. She feels things and she expresses them. It isn't the norm for her to be shut off or cut off from her emotions - unless she is so overcome by self-loathing or guilt that she cannot respond (See hanger bay fight in KLG).
Stability - well, its hard to say. Anders certainly represents stability - he's uncomplicated and best of all he's not there. She can rely on her memories of him. Memories are not going to change or get moody or have a freaking stroke. What Lee said in Scar was very true: she doesn't have a problem with the dead ones (or in this case the maybe-dead but certainly unavailable ones) its the live ones she can't deal with.
Strict military discipine is good for Kara because it is simple. You do what you are told. You know what to expect. There's no uncertainty, no anxiety. Anxiety is the worst thing for most people. That's why we all like things to be predictable. That's why we try to find out as much information as possible so we know what to prepare for so not to be surprised. I see Kara as someone like that. She loves her Viper and she loves to fly because she knows what to expect from her bird. She can control her destiny. It's something reliable, stable.
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*tries again*
If they'd given us more of Anders, I could extrapolate better. Right now, the best I can come up with is that he's a decent guy, and if he were actually there, he'd be supportive and give her lots of sex. And probably keep her from drinking so much.
And you're right about the strictness. Yes. *inocherent and falling asleep*
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Honestly, I think the promise might even be the reason it's even worse. Because Kara tries to keep her word. She doesn't have a whole hell of a lot. Her piloting skills? Yes. A decent personality? She doesn't think so. But her word? That's something she can feel something vaguely like pride for.
And she's already broken it once (running off to Caprica).
no subject
kara is kara. she doesn't apologize for being who she is. (usually.) i adore the fact that she knows when she's screwed up and will willingly admit to it. she doesn't hide from the dirty details of her own inadequacies. she's not afraid to be pissed at herself. she's not afraid to make mistakes, expects them of herself. she's not perfect and if you don't know that or can't deal with that, frak you.
cain and kara - i think cain blew kara's mind. cain showed her things that she didn't know she wanted to see. it would have been really interesting to see where that relationship went.
kara and kat - the foil of kara/kat shows just how much kara has grown since the days of the initial attack. regardless of how she gained the rank of captain, she is one. she is beyond that lieutenant that she was before. living with herself on a daily basis, she doesn't see it. she might still be a lunatic pilot. she still drinks too much, swears too much, mouths off too much. she also understands that there is more involved in her job than her personal feelings. it isn't about her being the best (even if she is). she understands that people will die...including herself...and she understands that even though it has to happen, she has to live with it and continue on. she understands that she can't be everyone's friend. she understands that there are larger issues involved. she's been a CAG. now she knows she can do it. as disconcerting as it may be to her, she's finally realizing that she is an officer and maybe even a good one.
no subject
*agrees with you, too*