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some things, you should never challenge...
challenge is for someone to write a fic where Sam watches the [last episode of JAG] and then puts the paralle[l]s of her life and Mac's life (the two fiance thing...in love with partner/team member..etc.) together and then somehow ends up with Jack.
Far be it for me to STOP creativity.
Dear flist. Please. Go forth. Write Sam watching JAG.
And remember to label it properly.
(if you can kill off Daniel and bring back Jonas, all the better)
Far be it for me to STOP creativity.
Dear flist. Please. Go forth. Write Sam watching JAG.
And remember to label it properly.
(if you can kill off Daniel and bring back Jonas, all the better)
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Uh huh. Because Sam is rock stupid enough to need a TV show to give her life clues.
So would the label be: "Warning: Dum!Sam"? ;)
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*arg*
Yes. That's a perfect warning. Along with "ooc"...
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You could. (I...er, actually said that she might, since it's fast-paced and snappy)
But does Sam actually have time to watch tv?
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or, if she must watch tv, NCIS and Law and Order.
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*runs*
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Yes.
Hrm.
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*sniffles*
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Ok, I really can't get past the mental image of Sam collapsing in laughter at Mac. *sigh* My brain is getting in the way of the snark!
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-----------
Daniel had died, and Jonas was back.
Sam sat weeping in front of her telly.
Suddenly, JAG came on.
What's this now? Sam wondered, through her cascade of tears. Oh! she realized. It was JAG! Her favorite programme! Avidly, she watched.
"My God," she said aloud, "Mac's life is an exact duplicate copy metaphorical parallel of my own!"
"Whu?" For suddenly, Jack had appeared in her living room, naked and erect and covered in lipstick.
"Oh, Jonnie!" Sam cried, also naked, as she had been from the beginning, throwing her arms around Jack. "My darling! My love! My Harm!"
Jack was confused. "... Carter?"
"No! Harm!" she admonished. "You must call me Mac! For I am your lovebird, your joy, your Colonel Sarah MacKenzie!"
His hard parts rubbed against her soft parts. "... 'K."
Thrilled, Sam ravished Jack. And all was well. Not much later, Sam legally changed her name to Sarah MacKenzie, dyed her hair brown, and joined the Marines. Jack, scared by this and the fact that Sam constantly called him Harm, ran away with Thor and Jonas, and the three lived in blissful gay utopia menage a trois style.
The End
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*cackles madly*
That's fabulous! *loves you*
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***
"Oh, my god. You're doing this to torture me."
Sam Carter stared in horrid facination at the people moving around her tv screen. It was 11am on a Tuesday, and while she'd normally be at work some ten miles away and happily busy with some type of electronic device, her ex-best-friend Janet hat barred her from the mountain for five whole days.
Just to recover from a freaking broken leg!
Which had somehow ended up meaning that the entirety of SG-1 had gotten a week of downtime. Something no one else seemed to object to. Bastards.
"But it's so interesting! I mean, obviously this is an extremely stylized view of the modern military. Totally done for PR purposes. Kind of like painting a happy smiley face on an atom bomb or something. Did you know they did that on the Nagasaki one? Anyway. It's really rather facinating in a story-telling way."
And because she couldn't actually, you know, move much with a cast that went from toes to hip, Janet had decided SG-1 should take turns babysitting her. Which lead to Jonas sitting on her couch, plying her with iced tea and really, really stupid television shows. And he was sitting on the remote.
"But he's a LAWYER! Who flies Tomcats! Which suck!"
Jonas gave her an amused grin and went back to his bag of popcorn-like-crunchy things - which was just wrong on so many levels. "Sam. It's bad television. Of course it's not going to make sense."
Sam shut up and glared at the tv a little more. Onscreen, the tall guy was making out with the dark haired woman. Who he'd been fighting with just before. Who was, apparently, his lawyer partner. Her brain was starting to hurt, and she's fairly sure it really doesn't have anything to do with her concussion.
"Okay, this is stupid."
This time, Jonas didn't even glance over. "No, it's, apparently, the culmination of close to nine years of unresolved sexual tension."
Sam blinked at him. "TEN YEARS?"
"Apparently, they're very slow."
"But! They're in the same chain of command! That's like... illegal!"
Jonas shot her a repressive look. "It's television, Sam. And it's been nine years. Let's just be thankful that the writers made her barren, so they can't breed a race of insanely stupid offspring."
Sam glared at the tv some more as the tall guy and the girl made angsty whining protests about being transferred and who was going to retire. Realistically, that hit a little close to some of her stupid, girly, moronic fantasies that she's only admitted to Janet after three pitchers of sangria and a mojito last March and only kind of remembers in very shiny and vague way. Actually, it might have been a dream.
Jonas, oblivious probably because he didn't care about her strange angsty stupidity, just ate his red vines and snickered occasionally.
It was hell. She was being tortured.
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"Well, then change the channel."
"You have the remote."
"So get up."
"Haha, funny man. I'm going to kick your ass around the gym when I get my leg back."
Jonas actually looked kind of nervous at that. Sam smirked. This show was so going away. "AND I'll make you wake up Teal'c in the mornings."
Jonas turned green. He did not, however, change the channel. "No. I'm not turning the channel. I've been waiting six months to see this episode, and I'm not going to let a little thing like psychological torture dissuade me from finding out the ending. So there."
Okay, that didn't work. Dammit.
"But it's dumb!"
"And you're not coming up with very convincing arguments over there, Colonel Carter. Besides, it's almost over."
She stuck her tongue out at him, completely ignoring the fact that it made her look five, and went back to glowering at the stupid. Why had she said yes to Jonas when he'd come back from Kelowna with, strangely enough, Janet in tow? Oh, right. Because Daniel had gone off and gotten himself killed for a third time. And. You know. Because she sometimes liked him.
Now though? Not so much.
"When is Jack coming home again?"
Jonas snickered and threw a red vine at her. "Your darling retired General is going to be back later tonight. You know this. Now shut up, and let me watch the 'stupid show'."
Sam sighed and dropped her head back on the sofa and groaned at the ceiling. Her life officially sucked.
Happily, she missed the coin toss.
-fin-
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People love me! =)
*smooooooches*
Love this. *beats Jonas*
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JONAS LOVES REDVINES OMG.
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But you didn't put any warning label on the fic that indicated you were going to use the word "green" and so I smite you!
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*coughs* I need time off from work, dammit...
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*is feeling anti SJ due to the eejits on SJ.* <- that wasn't the plan when I joined the list almost 5 years ago but without fail, it works every hiatus.
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They do drive me insane. Sigh.
Pfah!
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"It's just a show, Sam."
"I know that, Janet. But don't you think they could at least try to get it right? How many planes has this moron crashed, and the CIA hired him as a pilot? Give me a break."
"Deep breaths, Sam."
"And would it kill them to buy a map? I lived in DC. You do not take the Beltway to get from Georgetown to Falls Church!"
"All righty then. What was that you said you wanted to watch earlier? Space: Above and Beyond marathon?"
"I'll get the ice cream."
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*coughs*
S:A&B might still make her irritated.... But at least the military chain of command works there. And the women are fairly kickass... ;)
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*wonders how to get inner voice to sound like Jodie Foster*