(no subject)

[lyssie]

...

Dear Telkena. For the love of god and my sanity, please fuck off and die.

Stop. Writing. SG-1. Fic.

I need fluff, people. And good Sam/Jack porn.

*cries*

eta: maggots. Death on a grand scale. Skullfucking. Stupid psychotic shit that would make people pale. Body-cam.

None of those make my stomach turn as much as Telkena.

I mean, fucking Christ, people, Dex had a maggot fetish when it came to horror, and that only made me wince.

Comments

[auralan.livejournal.com]

My sympathies. I didn't get far before I gave up. There's a point where it isn't even fun to mock. She got there in record time. *offers brain bleach*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

I just. Seriously, I can't even begin to get past the first few lines.

*uses bleach a lot*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

I swear. The current choices are one where it's all flowery and explosive. Or Telkena, where apparently, it's SG-1 meets Sin City, with Jack and Sam being replaced with people who bear no resemblance to them.

*clings*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

As if her previous Sam/Jack smut, with Jack proving he loves Sam by first fucking a 25-year old while Sam watches, and then raping her (oh! but she orgasmed! So it must be true love!)...

No, no, this one (I skipped the first chapter, just to see how bad it could get) has chapter two starting out with Sam taunting Jack, thanking him for raping her, and offering to get herself wet for him the next time.

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

*hides*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*clings*

[qwirky.livejournal.com]

FLUFFFFFFFF!

*does not know who this Telkena person is*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Fluff! Yes. *clings*

[driftingatdusk.livejournal.com]

*traumatised and scared to read any further*

*shudder*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*offers tea*

[nakedtoes.livejournal.com]

Why does she always want to break them? It's always 'he knew how to handle his big tool so well that she just broke her into a million tiny tiny pieces'. Well, basically.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

in orgasm?

I don't know. I kinda like breaking my toys (and I've used the 'shattered' to describe orgasm before). But NOT like this. Where it's so painfully out of character I want to demand to know why she doesn't just post them on an erotica site since they're her fantasies, anyway.

[paigedayspring.livejournal.com]

Ok, I clicked the link but haven't read anything yet...but there is that one pic in her banner that grabs my attention.
Does anyone know where I could get a copy of that screencap of Jack with his hand over Sams' mouth?

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

http://www.jackfic.com/multimedia/screencaps/oom/index.htm

Near the bottom are the corridor bits, iirc. Lots of images, as a warning....

[lavidaessueno.livejournal.com]

I'm still trying to recover from that last abomination she wrote. I've been trying to build up my courage (and let my last meal digest) before reading this one.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

...an empty stomach doesn't help.

Trust me. Mine was empty. I still considered being sick.

[jacksrubberduck.livejournal.com]

::hugs::

I sympathise.
I actually tried to read the whole thing and just couldn't bring myself to inflict it on my poor brain.

How is Jack raping Sam ever right?
Seriously fic like that makes me want to do hideously illegal things to the person who wrote it.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*clings*

I don't know. Rape is never right. It just... Ow.

[katcorvi.livejournal.com]

I need fluff, people. And good Sam/Jack porn.

Yes, YES, YES!!!!

But I think I've mentioned that several times already today. *eg*

Now, off to click on the link you so thoughtfully provided. I have bleach handy as I'm sure my brain will soon need it.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

NO! For the loveaHarry, Kat, don't click the link!

[surreallis.livejournal.com]

Jesus Christ on a crutch! I'm sorry, but this story is Sam-bashing just as much as those damned anti-Sam essays on SDJ. It's beyond OOC-ness.

What the hell happened in her childhood?

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*clings* (I meant to cling earlier and got distracted, and now I REALLY want to do a Sam Carter Fic Challenge. arg. I just need, like, the correct wording)

[hyari.livejournal.com]

*Lends you my icon*

[lytarules.livejournal.com]

Erm, remind me why we, as women, put up with crap like this without telling people off publically? Are we censoring ourselves in the name of not censoring someone else? Would we put up with racist or homophobic crap as passively as we put up with this?

[elly427.livejournal.com]

*cries*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*cuddles*

I may try for fluff later, but I am cold. Hrm.

[divinejoker.livejournal.com]

Dude, totally agree there... *whimpers* but you're makin' me paranoid to post!

*wibbles*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*eyes* Has Jack ever raped Sam to prove his love for her in your fic? iirc, NO.

Therefore, do not fear. Post away (please, dear god, post. There HAS to be something quality, damnit)

[livilla.livejournal.com]

Seconded. NO ONE says what she makes them say in her fics. *sob*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Well, that, too. But... omg, the actions. *SHUDDERS*

[anr]

*whimpers* Her fic... it BURNS.

I need fluff, people. And good Sam/Jack porn.

*seconds that*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

It does. *clings*

[splash-the-cat.livejournal.com]

The most horrifying thing about this story was that Pete was cast as the abuser, but in fact Jack was the star in that role. And yet, the obvious implication of the story is that with Pete it was abuse, with Jack it was love. Jack rapes her out of anger and jealousy, and an hour later comes back to make sweet tender love to heal her, and then gets angry again and demeans her, and then apologizes again? That's a perfect encapsulation of a cycle of abuse. And Sam was written more as a victim of chronic abuse when she was with Jack than when she was with Pete.

This "it's all okay as long as it's about/with/because of the romantic hero" double standard makes me want to bang my head into a wall. And then bang other people's heads into walls.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Yes. This also is what makes the baby Jesus and me cry.

[catherinebruce.livejournal.com]

This... is making my head hurt. And I cannot stop reading.

Eep! This is just like what happened when I read your entry about feminist_rage! I went there and now my brain has thoughts. I blame you for them! ;)

P.S. This is my first time reading a Stargate story, by the hoo.

...Bad choice to break the SGfic cherry on this, eh?

P.S.S. Question. Whenever Sam says sir, is that a codeword for 'My Lovemuffin Hunnybunny?' Kinda like how Westley meant 'I love you' when he said 'As you wish' in The Princess Bride? (This from the girl who was oblivious to the chemistry the first five seasons of Watching. Course that was two weeks...)

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

Yes. It's a bad choice to break your SGfic cherry with. Oh, gods is it ever. I promise, there's better stuff out there.

As for 'sir'... well, it depends. Maybe? And if you don't see the chemistry, don't worry. Not everyone does. It's kinda a YMMV thing, generally. (I just think they're stupid!cute. kinda like early seasons John/Aeryn)

[pengke.livejournal.com]

I went to the link you provided and skimmed the story. I agree with the opinions stated here but I have a problem with your post and similar ones I've noticed around livejournal. See when I looked at the reviews on the site all I saw were positive reviews. Now, maybe someone's said something to her elsewhere, but I really don't like the idea that there are all these people who are willing to insult this girl's writing here but they won't tell her that it's bad and give her advice on how to fix it. A lot of awful writers don't realize they're awful because no one will tell them. At least with this person she does the actual writing portion of the story well. It's just the plot and the characterization that needs help.

[lavidaessueno.livejournal.com]

"A lot of awful writers don't realize they're awful because no one will tell them. At least with this person she does the actual writing portion of the story well. It's just the plot and the characterization that needs help."


Um, no, she doesn't, at least not from what I've read.

For example: “Sir! I warn you! Do not overstep your attributes." I think she meant authority in that sentence; however, as written, it's basically meaningless.

Sometimes the stuff reads as though it's been put through some kind of translation; verbs are reversed (How many times he had imagined Sam there with him?) and there are strange word choices that could possibly indicate a non-native speaker.

And if the grammar, plot, and characterization all need help, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say "the actual writing portion of the story" was not done well at all.

Telkena

[gingeranny.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad I found this site. Evidently there are a LOT of people out there who feel the same way I do about Telkena's stories. Just thinking about those stories makes me want to throw up! The people in those stories bear no resemblance at all to the Jack and Sam of the series - they simply have their names and not much else. I don't recall which one I first read, though I think it had something to do with Sam and Jack diving to a submerged alien spacecraft and being taken over by some kind of weird energy creatures that then used their bodies for sexual purposes - that subject was about 98% of the story. I can't believe I finished reading it. The next one I don't recall, but another is "Mata Hari" and my only suggestion is "avoid it like the plague". If you've already read it - my condolences and sympathies. I don't know who Telkena is, but it seems to me he/she has some heavy duty personal/emotional issues to resolve since every one of her stories involve Sam in some way getting sexually assaulted and/or raped by Jack, after she's first been sexually assaulted or beaten in some way by somebody else. And then Jack treats Sam like some kind of scum under his feet, only to say (basically) "I'm sorry", and she falls into his arms expressing her undying love for him. I can't believe this author is for real. And I can't believe all the great reviews those stories got on Heliopolis and a few other places. Sorry this is so long, but I finally seem to have found a place I can vent about this author.

Re: Telkena

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Fandom Wank might help a little. She got wanked over one of her fics. http://www.journalfen.net/community/fandom_wank/683139.html

Sadly, the posts linked to are mostly gone.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Nope. It ain't just you, babe. There was a whole group of us, at one point. Some have moved on to other fandoms, but trust me, Telkena is a word to invoke terror. Especially when I want to talk about bad fiction to someone.

I think I might have a few other posts about her, but I don't know when or where (most of my ire ends up being directed at the S/J list as a whole for its lack of kicking Jaka out)