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Entry tags:
sigh. Fic. SG-A, slash.
*deep breath*Sheppard/Ford/Zelenka/Bates.
Canth requested this, and since, at the moment, I am being nice because Canth gave me new Who to squee on about, I wrote it.
Slashy. Rating: PG13, but there's sex and mention of male genitalia.
It was the morning after the night before.
Radek decided that poets should be shot. Right after he shot Rodney McKay for letting the biolab technicians make their still. And maybe after he found aspirin, too. The alcohol had been in celebration of a victory over... well, right at that moment, Radek wasn't remembering who the victory was over.
There were other things to distract him, anyway. For instance, their were two arms draped across him.
Men. He snorted, also noting the leg tangled with his, and the fact that without his glasses he couldn't see a damned thing in the room. Although he wasn't sure what room it was.
The night was definitely coming back to him, and all of the aches in his body told of prolonged use. And sex. Given that there were at least two other male bodies pressed against his, Radek had to conclude that he hadn't scared anyone off.
Radek Zelenka considered the logistical nature of three men in bed, and gave up when he couldn't remember quite how it had worked. Maybe there'd been a fourth.
There'd certainly been a lot of alcohol. Otherwise, his head wouldn't hurt so bloody much.
One of the hands on his chest flexed, and a moment later, a dark-haired head peered blearily at him. "Dr. Zelenka?"
"Good morning, Major Sheppard."
Bloodshot eyes stared at him for a moment, then the hand flexed. "So, it wasn't all a dream."
"Not at all, Major."
A sudden groan from the other side of Sheppard made the major jerk and turn. "Bates?"
"Major." The security head stared at Sheppard, and then Zelenka, then widened his eyes even further when he saw the final occupant of the bed. "Zelenka sandwich, sir?"
"You could put it that way, yes."
"If," said Ford, refusing to open his eyes, "You're all going to talk, could ya keep it down?"
"Sorry, Lieutenant," Sheppard replied. "I'm just trying to put the night together."
"I should think it was obvious, Major." Bates sounded stiff, but relaxed, which Radek tried to understand since the dichotomy should be impossible for someone's voice to achieve. "We all got drunk on the science lab's moonshine, and..."
Ford snorted. "Had sex. We *all* had sex." The hand on Radek's chest began stroking him slightly.
"Er..."
"Sorry, Doc."
"No! It's not that." Radek shifted closer to the younger man and half-smiled, "It's the cold light of day, Lieutenant."
"No need to be coy, Zelenka," Sheppard's hand joined Ford's. "After all, if you didn't enjoy it, I doubt you'd still be here."
"Does that go for me, too, sir?" Bates sounded slightly petulant.
"Yeah, yeah, Bates. You, too."
"Good."
"So..." Sheppard's free hand waved in the air. "We're all... sober, and okay with this."
There was a chorus of muted yes's, and random shrugs.
Radek shifted closer to Ford, who exuded heat like he was a nuclear reactor about to explode. "So, Lieutenant."
"Aiden, Doc." The young man said, smiling.
"Aiden, then." Radek was beginning to also remember saying a lot of things in his native tongue during the night. He should have had a headache. In fact, Radek could have sworn he'd had one not ten minutes before.
But that was rapidly falling into his past because young Ford wrapped a hand around his neck and dragged his mouth close enough to kiss.
"Gah." Sheppard shifted on his other side. "Toothbrushes."
Radek pulled back with a grimace. "Agreed."
There were four naked men standing, slightly swaying, in the room. Sheppard paused and looked around. "Anyone have an idea where the hell we are?"
Looking around, himself, Radek frowned. "No... This..." He spotted his glasses on the nearby packing crate-cum-bedside table and hastily put them on.
"Gentlemen." The voice was female, and coolly amused.
Everything was suddenly much clearer.
Automatically, all four of them found that their hands were quite happily cupped over their still erect cocks. Radek looked towards the voice and discovered Dr. Elizabeth Weir eyeing them with interest. "Doctor."
"Dr. Zelenka, Major Sheppard. Would either of the two of you care to explain what the four of you are doing naked in my quarters?"
At least they hadn't used her toothbrush.
"Well, Elizabeth," Sheppard began, "We were--"
"Schoolboy prank, ma'am." Ford said, interrupting whatever the major was going to say.
"Prank." She nodded, looking unconvinced, then shrugged. "Well, if you'll all get dressed, I'd like to actually sleep. Teyla and I ended up talking all night, and I'm exhausted."
Sheppard coughed, "Ah, Dr. Weir, that might be a problem."
"Problem, Major?"
"We don't know where our clothes are."
Radek glanced around again, and realized that the major was right. He winced, and blushed as Dr. Weir looked them over again, her expression obviously amused. "Well, gentlemen, I suppose I can loan you my sheets. In the service of keeping your dignities intact."
"Not that we have any," Sheppard muttered.
"Are you sure, ma'am, that would leave you without bedclothes." Bates sounded almost normal.
"I think I can live with that, Sergeant. Something tells me I wouldn't want to sleep on them, anyway." She smiled impartially and turned her back. "I expect you to be gone from my quarters in a minute, gentlemen."
"Ah, right." Sheppard hastily distributed the top sheet, sheet, blanket, and kept the afghan for himself, slinging it around his hips. "We'll be going now, doctor."
"Good night, Major."
"Morning."
"Not yet."
The tone was enough of a warning, and the four of them hastily exited into the corridor. Zelenka glanced at them. "Well, gentlemen. As we need to relocate, might I not suggest we find our toothbrushes and then reconvene at a new location?"
The suggestion was taken, and all four dispersed towards their own rooms. Radek chuckled to himself. What a surprising ending to a rather terrifying week.
-f-
Canth requested this, and since, at the moment, I am being nice because Canth gave me new Who to squee on about, I wrote it.
Slashy. Rating: PG13, but there's sex and mention of male genitalia.
It was the morning after the night before.
Radek decided that poets should be shot. Right after he shot Rodney McKay for letting the biolab technicians make their still. And maybe after he found aspirin, too. The alcohol had been in celebration of a victory over... well, right at that moment, Radek wasn't remembering who the victory was over.
There were other things to distract him, anyway. For instance, their were two arms draped across him.
Men. He snorted, also noting the leg tangled with his, and the fact that without his glasses he couldn't see a damned thing in the room. Although he wasn't sure what room it was.
The night was definitely coming back to him, and all of the aches in his body told of prolonged use. And sex. Given that there were at least two other male bodies pressed against his, Radek had to conclude that he hadn't scared anyone off.
Radek Zelenka considered the logistical nature of three men in bed, and gave up when he couldn't remember quite how it had worked. Maybe there'd been a fourth.
There'd certainly been a lot of alcohol. Otherwise, his head wouldn't hurt so bloody much.
One of the hands on his chest flexed, and a moment later, a dark-haired head peered blearily at him. "Dr. Zelenka?"
"Good morning, Major Sheppard."
Bloodshot eyes stared at him for a moment, then the hand flexed. "So, it wasn't all a dream."
"Not at all, Major."
A sudden groan from the other side of Sheppard made the major jerk and turn. "Bates?"
"Major." The security head stared at Sheppard, and then Zelenka, then widened his eyes even further when he saw the final occupant of the bed. "Zelenka sandwich, sir?"
"You could put it that way, yes."
"If," said Ford, refusing to open his eyes, "You're all going to talk, could ya keep it down?"
"Sorry, Lieutenant," Sheppard replied. "I'm just trying to put the night together."
"I should think it was obvious, Major." Bates sounded stiff, but relaxed, which Radek tried to understand since the dichotomy should be impossible for someone's voice to achieve. "We all got drunk on the science lab's moonshine, and..."
Ford snorted. "Had sex. We *all* had sex." The hand on Radek's chest began stroking him slightly.
"Er..."
"Sorry, Doc."
"No! It's not that." Radek shifted closer to the younger man and half-smiled, "It's the cold light of day, Lieutenant."
"No need to be coy, Zelenka," Sheppard's hand joined Ford's. "After all, if you didn't enjoy it, I doubt you'd still be here."
"Does that go for me, too, sir?" Bates sounded slightly petulant.
"Yeah, yeah, Bates. You, too."
"Good."
"So..." Sheppard's free hand waved in the air. "We're all... sober, and okay with this."
There was a chorus of muted yes's, and random shrugs.
Radek shifted closer to Ford, who exuded heat like he was a nuclear reactor about to explode. "So, Lieutenant."
"Aiden, Doc." The young man said, smiling.
"Aiden, then." Radek was beginning to also remember saying a lot of things in his native tongue during the night. He should have had a headache. In fact, Radek could have sworn he'd had one not ten minutes before.
But that was rapidly falling into his past because young Ford wrapped a hand around his neck and dragged his mouth close enough to kiss.
"Gah." Sheppard shifted on his other side. "Toothbrushes."
Radek pulled back with a grimace. "Agreed."
There were four naked men standing, slightly swaying, in the room. Sheppard paused and looked around. "Anyone have an idea where the hell we are?"
Looking around, himself, Radek frowned. "No... This..." He spotted his glasses on the nearby packing crate-cum-bedside table and hastily put them on.
"Gentlemen." The voice was female, and coolly amused.
Everything was suddenly much clearer.
Automatically, all four of them found that their hands were quite happily cupped over their still erect cocks. Radek looked towards the voice and discovered Dr. Elizabeth Weir eyeing them with interest. "Doctor."
"Dr. Zelenka, Major Sheppard. Would either of the two of you care to explain what the four of you are doing naked in my quarters?"
At least they hadn't used her toothbrush.
"Well, Elizabeth," Sheppard began, "We were--"
"Schoolboy prank, ma'am." Ford said, interrupting whatever the major was going to say.
"Prank." She nodded, looking unconvinced, then shrugged. "Well, if you'll all get dressed, I'd like to actually sleep. Teyla and I ended up talking all night, and I'm exhausted."
Sheppard coughed, "Ah, Dr. Weir, that might be a problem."
"Problem, Major?"
"We don't know where our clothes are."
Radek glanced around again, and realized that the major was right. He winced, and blushed as Dr. Weir looked them over again, her expression obviously amused. "Well, gentlemen, I suppose I can loan you my sheets. In the service of keeping your dignities intact."
"Not that we have any," Sheppard muttered.
"Are you sure, ma'am, that would leave you without bedclothes." Bates sounded almost normal.
"I think I can live with that, Sergeant. Something tells me I wouldn't want to sleep on them, anyway." She smiled impartially and turned her back. "I expect you to be gone from my quarters in a minute, gentlemen."
"Ah, right." Sheppard hastily distributed the top sheet, sheet, blanket, and kept the afghan for himself, slinging it around his hips. "We'll be going now, doctor."
"Good night, Major."
"Morning."
"Not yet."
The tone was enough of a warning, and the four of them hastily exited into the corridor. Zelenka glanced at them. "Well, gentlemen. As we need to relocate, might I not suggest we find our toothbrushes and then reconvene at a new location?"
The suggestion was taken, and all four dispersed towards their own rooms. Radek chuckled to himself. What a surprising ending to a rather terrifying week.
-f-
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Although, I suspect not many people answer what I do when asked "Why do you write slash?"
"Because someone asked me to."
*loves you, and has now written het, slash and femslash all in one day*
What next, I wonder. An orgy?
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Too much healing powers of teh penis! My vagina wants to feel dirty and unhealed!!
I rite pron 4 nos but it have very little fluids in it. Go read and tell me what I can do better.
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Obviously. Write the Night Before This Fic!
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My ego has currently reached the size of Io. At times like this, it's best to take a swift pin to it.
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force-feedersupplier.no subject
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*cowers behind a column*
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Fancy a walnut whip?
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...I have no idea what that is.
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Oh my god, that was the funniest thing I've read in weeks. *weak at the knees* Oh my god, that was hilarious. *loves you and forgives you for writing sandbox fic*
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(and I'm still ok with being hated for it, but forgiveness is good, and I need to make the smutpuppies pay attention so I can write more Sam/Jack)