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fic: Scam: SG-1
Disclaimer: Not mine. Set: Season 9. Spoilers: Reckoning, Threads, earlier seasons (Fragile Balance). Rating: PG.
Notes: This is... pointless, shippy Sam/Jack fluff. In all possible connotations. And I'm too tired to go back over it. Assume it's unpolished...
Three Out of How Many?
by ALC Punk!
Sam didn't know what she noticed first. That she looked older, or that there was a higher rank on her uniform. She blinked for a moment, and eyed the woman standing in front of her. "Wow."
"Things change," the other woman said, nodding. She looked almost as disturbed by this meeting.
"So, I'm... " Glancing to the side, she stiffened, recognizing the Colonel. She squinted at the rank on his uniform. No. General. "Sir."
"At ease, Captain."
"Right." Her gaze refocused on the other her. The one who looked so sure of herself, and carried the rank of colonel. "So, wow."
"Yeah. We made lieutenant colonel." A shrug, "We're dating, too."
"Dating." Her eyes slid to the side.
"Oh, yeah. And he's a lot better than Pete."
There was a cough. "Carter, I'm right here."
"Pete?" Confusion again, because that wasn't a name she remembered.
"Oh, right. Cop. Friend of Mark's."
"Nice guy. Really." The General inserted, he turned to his Carter, "Wanna explain?"
"I get it..." Sam looked down at herself. "Harlan made more copies of us."
"Kinda like the Cylons." Both woman and machine stared at him. "What? So I watch some science fiction."
"Sir," the older, more experienced one said, "You don't like Star Wars."
"Well, I like other things. Interpersonal conflicts and... crap."
"Uh-huh. Daniel made you watch it with him, didn't he."
"Maybe. He has this... thing for the leggy blonde chick."
"Leggy blonde, sir?"
"Yeah. I prefer the shorter one. She's got more attitude."
The Colonel raised both eyebrows, "Starbuck."
"Yup. Kinda reminds me of you, Carter. Huh."
"Thank you, sir. I think."
Sam had to be disturbed at their interaction, or maybe disturbed at her own life. After all, it wasn't every day you woke up as a robot. "Hey. How long?"
"Eight years." Colonel Carter supplied.
Being a captain for eight years was vaguely strange, but she could handle that. After all, it wasn't like the colonel could have given her field promotions outside of the confines of the Air Force. Still, she did feel kind of jealous. "And, you and the General..."
"Lots of orgasms."
The poor man made a choking noise. "Carter, I'm right *here*."
"He still calls you Carter?"
The Colonel grinned and took his hand tilting it so the rubber band on his wrist caught the light. "He's trying to break a habit of a lifetime."
"Carter -- ow!" He exclaimed as she snapped the piece of rubber.
Sam laughed. "We dropped our ranks the second year. It was... kind of odd not to." And then it hit her. The thing that felt wrong. "Where am I? Where are the others?"
"We don't know. The boys are still searching, but... " the Colonel gathered herself. "Harlan's signal almost didn't reach us, and when we got here, a lot of the place was in disarray. I'm still surprised we found you."
"They're..." Reaching, reaching for that awareness they'd all shared for so long. Nothing. Frustrated, she slammed a fist down. "Jack -- he sent me back, said that they had it covered. Oh, god..."
"Hey." Carter caught her. "It's going to be all right. We'll --"
She was interrupted by Daniel's voice coming over the radio. "Sam? We've found them."
"Hang on, Daniel." Hands still on her shoulder, the Colonel looked into Sam's eyes. "I know you. Like you know me."
"If they're dead, I don't want to be treated like an idiot."
They stared at each other for a moment, then Colonel Carter nodded, and one hand went to her radio. "Go ahead, Daniel."
"Harlan is... well, he's here, Sam, but he's in pieces. And I think Jack and me are here, too. We haven't found Teal'c yet." There was a pause, then Daniel continued. "They're not in great shape."
"They're unconscious," Sam said softly, her gaze unfocusing. Now that the panic was cleared, she could, almost, feel them. "Whatever they were hit with, it must have overloaded all of our systems."
"Which is why you were out."
"Yes." She looked at herself in the strange mirror of destiny, and half-smiled. "You're right."
"About?"
"Jack is very good with his fingers, lips, and tongue."
It took a moment, and then she blushed. "Yes."
"Still right here," the General muttered.
Sam grinned at him, "They're going to be all right. C'mon. I can feel them waking." She winced, "Jack has such a headache."
"That's a little weird," Carter informed her.
"What, you don't like the idea of being able to sense Jack?"
"Oh, she already does that," he muttered.
The two nearly identical women shared a look, and chuckled. Sam nodded towards the door, "We should go if we're to help them."
"Daniel?" The Colonel used her radio, "Stay there, we'll come to you."
They were silent for the first several minutes, then Sam shot her other self a glance. "So, what else has happened while I've been here?"
"Apophis is dead." The Colonel paused as they negotiated a section of corridor that was blocked. "The Replicators are pretty much out of the way for the moment. And Kinsey is now a goa'uld."
"Kinsey?"
"Oh, right, you never met him." Shaking her head, the Colonel continued, "We've encountered more of the Ancients' technology."
"And there's a fembot Carter running around."
"Huh? There's three of us now?"
"Well," shooting him a glare, Carter sighed. "I think she's dead, actually. And she was a Replicator."
"Replicators?"
The explanation of that took up the rest of the time, becoming increasingly technical. To the General's dismay and irritation. By the time they'd reached the others, Sam could sense all three of her friends through their link.
She took a moment to observe the others as they approached. Daniel's floppy hair was gone, and he had bulked up. Teal'c had hair, tiny, curly fuzz that looked odd on the jaffa. It occured to her that the Colonel (now general) was grayer that he had been. And she herself was sporting a rather bouncy blonde mop. Huh. There was another man with Daniel and Teal'c, and she studied him, taking in the careful movements he made as he helped two of the robotic counterparts stand.
"Hey." Carter strode forward, "Good to see you guys. Where's Teal'c?"
"I know." Sam turned slightly, eyeing the rubble. "He's alive, and right about... here." She began tugging at the rocks and metal.
Daniel and the other man joined her in pulling the debris aside to reveal her fallen comrade, slightly lacerated, but still alive. He rose with assistance. And then there were nine people standing awkwardly in the corridor.
The unknown man broke the silence. "Well. This is weird."
"You're tellin' me," Colonel O'Neill muttered.
"Carter," the General said, "Why did I have to come along on this little picnic?"
"Because you wanted to talk to yourself. Sir."
"Right."
"Uh, Jack, maybe we should leave this section. It's kind of unstable." Daniel (the one without the floppy hair) suggested.
"Good idea."
They all began walking back. Sam found herself walking next to her own Colonel, and shot him a look. "Hey."
"Hey." His hand tangled with hers. "You okay?"
"Yeah." She considered for a moment, "I'm still going to kick your ass, Jack."
"For what?" The perfectly innocent tone of voice was too familiar.
She snorted, "If I have to spell it out for you..."
"Hey, I'm not all that smart like you, remember?"
There was a stifled chuckle from nearby, and Sam glanced over to find the unknown man walking on Jack's other side. "Something amusing, Colonel?"
"No, no, really." He grinned engagingly, "And it's Cameron, ma'am. Colonel Cameron Mitchell, to be exact, although it's a bit of a mouthful."
"Captain Sam Carter."
"Yeah. Which is weird, Captain Carter."
"You're tellin' me," Jack muttered.
"Cameron, Colonel Jack O'Neill."
"Mark two!" snapped the General.
"Actually, sir, he's mark three, I think. Possibly mark four, if we count your mini version."
"Nah, Carter, he's 1.5."
"1.5!" The robot Jack glared, "Mind explainin' that to me, grasshopper?"
"Well, see, there's me, there's the other me who died, there's you. And there's a clone of me that's running around at age -- how old is he again, Carter?"
"18 now, sir."
"Right."
"And he's all alone?" Sam asked. She found that sad.
"Not exactly," Carter replied.
"What do you mean, 'not exactly', Carter?"
"Well, sir... let's just say, 3 out of 4 alternate universes can't be wrong."
"Sam, you didn't." said an amused Daniel Jackson, his arm around the waist of his robot counterpart.
"I did nothing," the Colonel denied, her voice amused.
"Carter." The warning tone was audible.
"Well, sir, let's just say that, at 18, I'm really glad you have a lot of stamina."
There was dead silence in the entire group for a moment, then Daniel began snickering. "Sam. There's a mini version of you running around having sex with a mini version of Jack. That's so... wrong. And sad."
"Oh, shut up, Daniel." Both Sams said.
"Carter, when were you going to tell me this?"
"Well, Jack, you know that wedding I suckered you into going to in three weeks?"
"The one where you promised me you'd wear your little black dress?"
The other Jack perked up at that, and shot Sam a look. She shrugged, "I'll ask her if she can get me one."
"Yes, Jack, that one."
There was silence for a moment, then the General groaned, "Oh, for cryin' out loud, Carter. They're getting married? At 18?"
"He thinks it's romantic."
"You don't."
"Well, no." Sam watched Carter reach out and tangle her fingers with the General's. "I like living in sin much better."
The discussion was cut short as they reached the rejuvenation chamber, and Sam and Sam began discussing power outlays while the others checked themselves out and ran systems diagnostics. It was eventually determined that the plant would fail at a rate that would give them time to devise methods of converting power units for the robots. Not that the General seemed to think that was a good idea, but he remained silent. Colonel Carter thought naquadria might help the situation.
Finally, the original SG-1 (plus one) made their way back to the gate. There would be further contact, since the resources of the plant could be useful. Besides, Carter had promised to get Sam that little black dress.
-f-
Notes: This is... pointless, shippy Sam/Jack fluff. In all possible connotations. And I'm too tired to go back over it. Assume it's unpolished...
Three Out of How Many?
by ALC Punk!
Sam didn't know what she noticed first. That she looked older, or that there was a higher rank on her uniform. She blinked for a moment, and eyed the woman standing in front of her. "Wow."
"Things change," the other woman said, nodding. She looked almost as disturbed by this meeting.
"So, I'm... " Glancing to the side, she stiffened, recognizing the Colonel. She squinted at the rank on his uniform. No. General. "Sir."
"At ease, Captain."
"Right." Her gaze refocused on the other her. The one who looked so sure of herself, and carried the rank of colonel. "So, wow."
"Yeah. We made lieutenant colonel." A shrug, "We're dating, too."
"Dating." Her eyes slid to the side.
"Oh, yeah. And he's a lot better than Pete."
There was a cough. "Carter, I'm right here."
"Pete?" Confusion again, because that wasn't a name she remembered.
"Oh, right. Cop. Friend of Mark's."
"Nice guy. Really." The General inserted, he turned to his Carter, "Wanna explain?"
"I get it..." Sam looked down at herself. "Harlan made more copies of us."
"Kinda like the Cylons." Both woman and machine stared at him. "What? So I watch some science fiction."
"Sir," the older, more experienced one said, "You don't like Star Wars."
"Well, I like other things. Interpersonal conflicts and... crap."
"Uh-huh. Daniel made you watch it with him, didn't he."
"Maybe. He has this... thing for the leggy blonde chick."
"Leggy blonde, sir?"
"Yeah. I prefer the shorter one. She's got more attitude."
The Colonel raised both eyebrows, "Starbuck."
"Yup. Kinda reminds me of you, Carter. Huh."
"Thank you, sir. I think."
Sam had to be disturbed at their interaction, or maybe disturbed at her own life. After all, it wasn't every day you woke up as a robot. "Hey. How long?"
"Eight years." Colonel Carter supplied.
Being a captain for eight years was vaguely strange, but she could handle that. After all, it wasn't like the colonel could have given her field promotions outside of the confines of the Air Force. Still, she did feel kind of jealous. "And, you and the General..."
"Lots of orgasms."
The poor man made a choking noise. "Carter, I'm right *here*."
"He still calls you Carter?"
The Colonel grinned and took his hand tilting it so the rubber band on his wrist caught the light. "He's trying to break a habit of a lifetime."
"Carter -- ow!" He exclaimed as she snapped the piece of rubber.
Sam laughed. "We dropped our ranks the second year. It was... kind of odd not to." And then it hit her. The thing that felt wrong. "Where am I? Where are the others?"
"We don't know. The boys are still searching, but... " the Colonel gathered herself. "Harlan's signal almost didn't reach us, and when we got here, a lot of the place was in disarray. I'm still surprised we found you."
"They're..." Reaching, reaching for that awareness they'd all shared for so long. Nothing. Frustrated, she slammed a fist down. "Jack -- he sent me back, said that they had it covered. Oh, god..."
"Hey." Carter caught her. "It's going to be all right. We'll --"
She was interrupted by Daniel's voice coming over the radio. "Sam? We've found them."
"Hang on, Daniel." Hands still on her shoulder, the Colonel looked into Sam's eyes. "I know you. Like you know me."
"If they're dead, I don't want to be treated like an idiot."
They stared at each other for a moment, then Colonel Carter nodded, and one hand went to her radio. "Go ahead, Daniel."
"Harlan is... well, he's here, Sam, but he's in pieces. And I think Jack and me are here, too. We haven't found Teal'c yet." There was a pause, then Daniel continued. "They're not in great shape."
"They're unconscious," Sam said softly, her gaze unfocusing. Now that the panic was cleared, she could, almost, feel them. "Whatever they were hit with, it must have overloaded all of our systems."
"Which is why you were out."
"Yes." She looked at herself in the strange mirror of destiny, and half-smiled. "You're right."
"About?"
"Jack is very good with his fingers, lips, and tongue."
It took a moment, and then she blushed. "Yes."
"Still right here," the General muttered.
Sam grinned at him, "They're going to be all right. C'mon. I can feel them waking." She winced, "Jack has such a headache."
"That's a little weird," Carter informed her.
"What, you don't like the idea of being able to sense Jack?"
"Oh, she already does that," he muttered.
The two nearly identical women shared a look, and chuckled. Sam nodded towards the door, "We should go if we're to help them."
"Daniel?" The Colonel used her radio, "Stay there, we'll come to you."
They were silent for the first several minutes, then Sam shot her other self a glance. "So, what else has happened while I've been here?"
"Apophis is dead." The Colonel paused as they negotiated a section of corridor that was blocked. "The Replicators are pretty much out of the way for the moment. And Kinsey is now a goa'uld."
"Kinsey?"
"Oh, right, you never met him." Shaking her head, the Colonel continued, "We've encountered more of the Ancients' technology."
"And there's a fembot Carter running around."
"Huh? There's three of us now?"
"Well," shooting him a glare, Carter sighed. "I think she's dead, actually. And she was a Replicator."
"Replicators?"
The explanation of that took up the rest of the time, becoming increasingly technical. To the General's dismay and irritation. By the time they'd reached the others, Sam could sense all three of her friends through their link.
She took a moment to observe the others as they approached. Daniel's floppy hair was gone, and he had bulked up. Teal'c had hair, tiny, curly fuzz that looked odd on the jaffa. It occured to her that the Colonel (now general) was grayer that he had been. And she herself was sporting a rather bouncy blonde mop. Huh. There was another man with Daniel and Teal'c, and she studied him, taking in the careful movements he made as he helped two of the robotic counterparts stand.
"Hey." Carter strode forward, "Good to see you guys. Where's Teal'c?"
"I know." Sam turned slightly, eyeing the rubble. "He's alive, and right about... here." She began tugging at the rocks and metal.
Daniel and the other man joined her in pulling the debris aside to reveal her fallen comrade, slightly lacerated, but still alive. He rose with assistance. And then there were nine people standing awkwardly in the corridor.
The unknown man broke the silence. "Well. This is weird."
"You're tellin' me," Colonel O'Neill muttered.
"Carter," the General said, "Why did I have to come along on this little picnic?"
"Because you wanted to talk to yourself. Sir."
"Right."
"Uh, Jack, maybe we should leave this section. It's kind of unstable." Daniel (the one without the floppy hair) suggested.
"Good idea."
They all began walking back. Sam found herself walking next to her own Colonel, and shot him a look. "Hey."
"Hey." His hand tangled with hers. "You okay?"
"Yeah." She considered for a moment, "I'm still going to kick your ass, Jack."
"For what?" The perfectly innocent tone of voice was too familiar.
She snorted, "If I have to spell it out for you..."
"Hey, I'm not all that smart like you, remember?"
There was a stifled chuckle from nearby, and Sam glanced over to find the unknown man walking on Jack's other side. "Something amusing, Colonel?"
"No, no, really." He grinned engagingly, "And it's Cameron, ma'am. Colonel Cameron Mitchell, to be exact, although it's a bit of a mouthful."
"Captain Sam Carter."
"Yeah. Which is weird, Captain Carter."
"You're tellin' me," Jack muttered.
"Cameron, Colonel Jack O'Neill."
"Mark two!" snapped the General.
"Actually, sir, he's mark three, I think. Possibly mark four, if we count your mini version."
"Nah, Carter, he's 1.5."
"1.5!" The robot Jack glared, "Mind explainin' that to me, grasshopper?"
"Well, see, there's me, there's the other me who died, there's you. And there's a clone of me that's running around at age -- how old is he again, Carter?"
"18 now, sir."
"Right."
"And he's all alone?" Sam asked. She found that sad.
"Not exactly," Carter replied.
"What do you mean, 'not exactly', Carter?"
"Well, sir... let's just say, 3 out of 4 alternate universes can't be wrong."
"Sam, you didn't." said an amused Daniel Jackson, his arm around the waist of his robot counterpart.
"I did nothing," the Colonel denied, her voice amused.
"Carter." The warning tone was audible.
"Well, sir, let's just say that, at 18, I'm really glad you have a lot of stamina."
There was dead silence in the entire group for a moment, then Daniel began snickering. "Sam. There's a mini version of you running around having sex with a mini version of Jack. That's so... wrong. And sad."
"Oh, shut up, Daniel." Both Sams said.
"Carter, when were you going to tell me this?"
"Well, Jack, you know that wedding I suckered you into going to in three weeks?"
"The one where you promised me you'd wear your little black dress?"
The other Jack perked up at that, and shot Sam a look. She shrugged, "I'll ask her if she can get me one."
"Yes, Jack, that one."
There was silence for a moment, then the General groaned, "Oh, for cryin' out loud, Carter. They're getting married? At 18?"
"He thinks it's romantic."
"You don't."
"Well, no." Sam watched Carter reach out and tangle her fingers with the General's. "I like living in sin much better."
The discussion was cut short as they reached the rejuvenation chamber, and Sam and Sam began discussing power outlays while the others checked themselves out and ran systems diagnostics. It was eventually determined that the plant would fail at a rate that would give them time to devise methods of converting power units for the robots. Not that the General seemed to think that was a good idea, but he remained silent. Colonel Carter thought naquadria might help the situation.
Finally, the original SG-1 (plus one) made their way back to the gate. There would be further contact, since the resources of the plant could be useful. Besides, Carter had promised to get Sam that little black dress.
-f-
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That was loads of fun. Thank you.
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*loves*
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