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A primer for Sam/Jack smut writers.
1. Please. Leave the words 'nub', 'bud', and 'folds' at the door. They make my head hurt.
2. Jack is not going to call Sam 'baby' unless he's hoping she'll remove his tongue. With a rusty spoon. 'Babe', 'sugarlips', and 'honey' are also not good choices for endearments. 'Carter' is what he'll probable call her. And 'Sam' only before season three. Maybe. Or after he's retired and had to snap a rubber-band on his wrist a hundred times before remembering not to call her 'Carter'.
3. Likewise, it's JUST possible Sam won't remember not to call him 'Colonel' and 'sir'. There are slip-ups, y'know (although, this begs the question: has she ever called Pete 'Colonel' in bed?). She'll probably adjust to calling him 'Jack', though.
4. For fuck's sake, Jack is NOT going to cry out her name when he hits his mind-numbingly fantastic orgasm and spills his seed deep inside... Most men grunt. A few might whine. For all we know, Jack sings the star-spangled banner.
5. There is no five.
6. I'm distracted. I should sleep.
2. Jack is not going to call Sam 'baby' unless he's hoping she'll remove his tongue. With a rusty spoon. 'Babe', 'sugarlips', and 'honey' are also not good choices for endearments. 'Carter' is what he'll probable call her. And 'Sam' only before season three. Maybe. Or after he's retired and had to snap a rubber-band on his wrist a hundred times before remembering not to call her 'Carter'.
3. Likewise, it's JUST possible Sam won't remember not to call him 'Colonel' and 'sir'. There are slip-ups, y'know (although, this begs the question: has she ever called Pete 'Colonel' in bed?). She'll probably adjust to calling him 'Jack', though.
4. For fuck's sake, Jack is NOT going to cry out her name when he hits his mind-numbingly fantastic orgasm and spills his seed deep inside... Most men grunt. A few might whine. For all we know, Jack sings the star-spangled banner.
5. There is no five.
6. I'm distracted. I should sleep.
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*pokes and spreads evil plot bunnies*
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