Rantings and rumblings...

[lyssie]

I feel like an arbiter of fashion... Or maybe just an idiot.

The following rant is brought to you by the letters P, Q and the number 13. To the people who are going to say, "You're being a hypocrite, you should talk to the person about this." I did. The response was, "This is all in fun, anyway! And I'm stupid, so I don't know how this works!"

Okay. So. Was recently vaguely snarky at someone about a few basic things.

Capitalization at the beginning of a sentence.
Punctuation at the end.

These are NOT two hard concepts to grasp.

Or so I thought.

No, apparently, they are massively difficult to learn, and require you to be smart and intelligent.

...the FUCK?

And people wonder why I think the American school system is worth shit.

Honestly. HOW HARD is it to remember to put a Capital Letter at the Beginning of a Sentence? (jesus, I'm ranting like a deranged creature). Seriously, folks, I think I was taught that in fucking kindergarten. I was all of 5 and a half.

I know. I know I'm fucking spoiled because I tend to be masochistically perfectionist (there's sarcasm and self-mockery in there) about my copy (I used to be on the school paper. I was the ONLY one who continually turned in clean copy -- and, yes, I am fucking proud to have been complemented on that by an editor for the local professional newspaper.), which leads to there being few typos... But part of that is six years of slogging away at writing, and part of it is knowing to put a capital fucking letter at the beginning of a sentence.

It really is not hard to throw a story into word, wordperfect, or even a fucking email program (hell, YAHOO has spellcheck on all outgoing email!) and spellcheck it. This doesn't catch everything, of course (don't let me self-flagellate about 'The Way We Live Now' and its there/their and your/you're problems -- or the missed question with the wrong punctuation).

No, sadly, word/etc. don't appear to catch mistakes in sentence endings and beginnings (unless it's set, since it did it to me at work, where it would constantly auto-correct into capital letters). But how hard is this to catch?

*does not scream*

Why is it so bad to want someone to improve? To tell them the fucking truth about what they're writing?

God. Just. Shoot me now. I mean, REALLY, people.

I keep forgetting that comicbook fic had such a higher standard set -- oh, yes, we had our idiots and morons, but they weren't told how fabulous they were and patted on the back. They were generally ignored until they went away. The Borg would not want these people. They'd start to assimilate them then just kill them so as not to dumb down the Collective.

*dryly* Yes, I'm irritated, why do you ask?

In response to the people who refuse to take advice on beta? I name you Maria Cline, and I claim my five pounds.

Although, I kinda miss Maria. At least she was amusing. And disappeared to terrorize Pokemon fandom.

Dear Gods and Goddesses above and below, please give me the power to shunt people who refuse to improve off to other fandoms. Like anime, where crap IS the standard. kthnxbai.

Comments

[canthlian.livejournal.com]

No, sadly, word/etc. don't appear to catch mistakes in sentence endings and beginnings (unless it's set, since it did it to me at work, where it would constantly auto-correct into capital letters).

Err... that's the default setting. Unless you deliberately turn it off, it should do that.

... it disturbs me how much effort these people put into being stupid.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

...AHA. It is. I thought it might be, but I wasn't sure, because my version of wordperfect *doesn't* do it... But WP is a piece of shit anyway...

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*scritches* And. Dude. I add letters and subtract them when I make mistakes...

[surreallis.livejournal.com]

Amen. I think most fanfic readers' number one pet peeve is authors who don't spellcheck. Hell, I'm sure there are free, downloadable checkers out there for people too.

And I had an experience with an author who wanted me to beta their stuff, and they didn't use periods. Ever. Or Question marks. I mean what the hell? If you have even rudimentary writing skills, periods and question marks should be the easiest things ever. When I brought it up, she said, "Well, you'll just fix it for me."

Um. Yeah. Want me to just fucking write the ending for you too? How about plot? You set for that or should I throw in some of my own work for you?

Bah.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Yes! Please write my endings for me! *ducks*

*smoooches, as she has no brain left*

[surreallis.livejournal.com]

*g*

Smooches always break up a rant. Like Lucy smooching Schroeder on the tip of the nose. *peck*

[splash-the-cat.livejournal.com]

Okay, the "if you don't like it, don't read it" argument? HATE THAT. Yes. If it's a subject you don't like, a pairing you don't like, a topic you don't like, that's sound advice.

Not so much when it IS something you'd like and the basic grammatical structure is just poor.

And people need to learn the difference between harsh and blunt.

*restrains self from commenting on the community to that effect*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

Yes, well, I was *feeling* snarky this morning, but I wasn't anywhere near as sarcastic as... er, I couldabeen.

And. Dude. Don't bother. This is a brick wall situation. The other person will Always Be Right in their mind.

[canthlian.livejournal.com]

A-fucking-men. I was thinking about ranting about that "Don't Like, Don't Read" argument yesterday, and now, I shall worship you for bringing it up.

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

I so fucking hate that lame excuse it's not funny. To which I say, "Can't hack it? Don't ask for it."

Grrrrr.

[daisycm83.livejournal.com]

Heh. I saw the mini!OTP people and the conversation and I went...oh, this isn't going to end well.

Wow, people are just...dumb. And you're right, it could have been a half-decent story. Not great, mind you, but on the way to being decent. Which in a teeny tiny fandom like mini!OTP, is at least something. And instead...oh, it's all fun and games and why should I have to bother learning things like basic sentence structure, as I'm obviously not that bright.

*headdesk*

And really, who in the hell says that about themselves, anyway? That they're so dumb that they can't possibly understand the basic rules of grammar?

I don't understand people sometimes.

*pats Lyssie on the head*

Never mind. We love you.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*scritches*

I try to always look on the bright side. And if I'm going to critique, I should be trying to make fic better... Or something like that.

*is good and non-snarky*

Hrm. *looks cute* more Mini!OTP?

[daisycm83.livejournal.com]

Dude. Look cute after finals. I'll be more pliable then. Right now I'm off to try and ramble about things I have not studied...

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

okie. *smoooches* Chocolate?

[ilanala]

Word spellcheck has this marvellous tendency to catch supposed grammatical mistakes that are actually correct, but not things that aren't. It loves to bother me about using passive sentences in scientific papers (which is what you're supposed to do), or just suggest flat-our wrong things. But still, you'd think any moron would know about capitalization and punctuation. Sadly, you'd be wrong.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*pets* This is true (the catching goog grammar and ignoring bad grammar is why I tend to ignore the greeny things....). But the other bit? Yeah...

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

Sorry you feel pounced-upon.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Oddly, it's more like, "WTF are you people ON???" was my response. But as starting a "you're an idiot" war there wasn't kind (and like the kerfuffle on the Sparky list would be shot down), I ranted here instead.

Besides. I needed to remind myself of Maria Cline, whom I miss dearly.

[saramund.livejournal.com]

1) *scritches Lyssie* - totally understand your rant. I always thought sentence structure was a basic tool of any writer. Obviously I was wrong. Huh, who'd a thought that? ;D

2) Just who the blazes is Maria Cline? I seem to have missed this little peice of fandom magic....

3) Just cause I feel like it: i am a stupid wirter who doesnt know how to use puntucation this is obviously not my fault so if you dont like it dont read it go away you hurt my feelings i dont like getting bad reviews or construction criticalisms... /end sarc Good God, where will it end?!

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

3) eeeeek!

2) She used to write comicbook fanfiction, specifically Summers family fic (there was some scary stuff where Pete Wisdom was technically their grandfather, and Remy LeBeau was the third Summers brother...). And was quite well known for getting a beta and then refusing to correct a single mistake...

1) I will freely admit to getting, like, a C in college comp and English and stuff. But if you read enough books, it kinda gets ingrained.... Or so I've noticed...

[saramund.livejournal.com]

1) Like I said, basic English skills, or so I thought. And yes, reading will do that to a person. You know, educate them, expand their minds... ahh, me. *headdesk)

2) Oh dear. So what's the point in getting a beta, then?

3) mwahahahahaha! I was scared at how easily I a) mis-spelt things b) made up new words and c) got rid of all punctuation

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*nods* Chocolate?

2) Yeah, I know... It was vaguely disturbing...

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

But as starting a "you're an idiot" war there wasn't kind (and like the kerfuffle on the Sparky list would be shot down), I ranted here instead.

I appreciate it :)

I get to see your lovely rant... AND my frantic need for peace and compromise and fake politeness is still happily met :)

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*pets*

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

*pets*
*hits others with commas and the shift key*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*cuddles and pokes* Post your coda, bitch!

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

(oh, you did. ;)

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

*loves* OMG, every time there's a "your" in place of a "you're", I die a little inside. Let's not even mention the whole "its"/"it's" trauma.

People who want to hang on to their ignorance annoy me.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*scritch* Dude, I will freely to admit to missing the fact that when I'm typing fast/tired/loopy, that I mix them up. I don't even wanna look at older fic, 'cause I'm sure they're there....

But it still doesn't mean I don't correct 'em when I see 'em...

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

I, too have made those mistakes. And I correct them when I find them, as well. It's the people who never take the time to stop and think that bug like hell, or who can never keep it straight.

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

I have moments of wonderering if, on something like the mini!OTP list, you and I are part of the problem -- because we will freely post things with an "unbeta'd" thing slapped on top. Maybe that enables these authors and they don't realize that there is still a baseline of PROPER ENGLISH that we adhere to on even the worst nobeta days?

And then I go: NO. WAIT. Stupidity will find a way. There is NO WAY I can take the blame for this.

I felt better after that. :)

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*licks Daniel*

It totally is not our fault. 'cause, yeah. We adhere, damnit. And we agonize. And use spellcheck.

[mylittleredgirl.livejournal.com]

Yes. We must be clear.

The Lyssie School of Fanfic Writing is for *good fic writers to produce more by removing excessive editorial nonsense*. Bad fic writers are not admitted to school, or are forced to sit in preschool and play with blocks and lick glue.

Or something.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*dies*

[qwirky.livejournal.com]

*confuzzled*

I'm assuming this may be referring to that really, really bad mini!otp fic that had shite grammar and absolutely no punctuation?

*snuggles you*

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Yes.

But it's also just a random rant of irritation.

[qwirky.livejournal.com]

*saw the thread*

*replied to it* >.>

*feels annoyed*

[katcorvi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you're right, so I wouldn't dismiss it as a random rant of irritation. It's HUGELY irritating when people don't bother to learn basic rules of grammar and punctuation and then want to be forgiven with the "I'm dumb and can't be bothered" excuse. No, it's not ok.

Rules are there for a reason. ::bangs head on desk with frustration:: So, let's say she has a keys to a fueled up car? Does the fact that she's dumb excuse her from knowing that she stops at red lights and goes on greens? NO! Without folowing the rules of the road, carnage ensues. What we saw in her story was destruction.

However, like a train wreck I couldn't look away. I read it all. Ow.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Awww. *offers hot cocoa in compensation*

[katcorvi.livejournal.com]

Cocoa with a pepermint stick? Sweet! Thanks.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Soitainly! (and, dude, I'd forgotten I had a peppermint stick)

[cavee.livejournal.com]

I was almost embarrassed by her lack of grammar. I really wish she had just posted a request for a beta instead of the actual story. How hard can it be?

On another note, you are definitely a better person than me for not starting a war over it. I would have. *hugs Lyssie* But then, you did post a rant over here, didn't you, so maybe there is hope yet in teaching you the art of the flame war. (Wouldn't that author just love that?)

Love;
Cavee

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

But then, you did post a rant over here, didn't you, so maybe there is hope yet in teaching you the art of the flame war.

...words can not express how amusing I find that sentiment...

As a veteran of the Subreality and CFAN flame wars, lemme tell ya about them good old days... I kinda miss having to wear asbestos underwear.

Seriously, though. One of the few things I've learned is that there are some people you can tell... And some people you can't.

And I am completely braindead. Sorry. *smooches*

[cavee.livejournal.com]

It looks like she did decide to post a beta request. Smart girl... well, not quite as unintelligent as previously assumed. Either that or she read my comment on here. *unlikely*

If you are brain dead, you should probably sleep. Then write. Then sleep some more. Then read a book. Then sleep. Then watch sci-fi tv series. Then write. Then sleep. Doctors orders! *if only...*

Love;
Cavee

[livilla.livejournal.com]

*blink* I missed a flame war?? Damn it! I feel cheated! Damn need to sleep. Grr.

On the other hand, I feel your pain. Really. I've come a long way since my first foray in fanfiction. *shudders at thought* Even then, I was obsessive over the grammar. Still screwed up and the fic was just CRAP but that's besides the point... *comforts and passes brain bleach*

Was I hyper when I commented on that fic? I think so. At least, that's my defence and I'm sticking to it.

(And as if Sam choosing Pete is the right choice. The fuck? /end insane fangirl)

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*cuddles* love you. *has nothing concrete to say*

[livilla.livejournal.com]

*cuddles back* Yay me! *looks cute and passes chocolate and booze as she's already mentioned numerous times how much Lyssie!love she has*

[scruffyduck.livejournal.com]

I am very sorry