mommy, make the hurting stop...

[lyssie]

So... first, there was this really strange, cryptic note attached to a stack of invoices:

I had no gun.
Store doing inventory.
Got gun later in morning mainly checks in people.
Thanks. =)


....yeah.

Then I hit the sj list... and, um, Jara? Please give me some better ideas, because I need my brain back in one piece....

The following are excerpts from an email or two:
read recently a great smut fic where Sam tricks Jack into
holding onto that body-swapping maching, swapping their bodies.
...So, my idea is, have them switch bodies while Sam is pregnant and for
Jack to live a day as a pregnant woman, whether he deserved it for
being insensitive or he wanted to experience it, doesn't matter.
...
I'm submitting a challenge to all writers to rewrite the ep Broca
Divide. My only condition is that it has to end with S/J romance, with
them involved/married/with children - something of the 3.
One possible approach is that when Sam jumps Jack in the locker room
he responds positively.
...
I just forgot to add that I love the fics where Sam is
still a Captain the most. Especially the fics that
happen during the first 5-6 eps.

...ohmigod. Jane! Stop this thing!

Dude, I need to be OUT of this crazyfuckingscary fandom.

However, thank GOD, for Robin's lovely little mental image:
[Jack's] sexy, despite the age, and he can be tough and
macho when needed, but also has his sensitive moments. But the main
reason I think he's great is that he's the type of man who will push
you up against a wall for rough, hot and ravaging sex, and still
cuddle with you afterwards. He's an alpha male, but isn't a
chauvinist pig. He also has a very sexy bad boy edge to him, which
is counteracted by his love for kids and such.


sigh.

A.j. This is your fault. *glares*

In other news, I have, almost, a shot-by-shot-by-lyrics list of the images and scenes I need to pull off an Aeryn video to Dido's "Here With Me". It's... going to fuck with her. Yay.

And my hands are FREEZING. cold. cold. cold.

Comments

[woodface]

Stay away from the lists and you'll be alright ;o)

Hmmmmm, ideas. *thinks*

Btw, I read a fic where Sam tricked Jack into swapping bodies while she had her period and then she had sex with him to show him how uncomfortable it is. *shudders*

At the moment I'm all for early season smut. The "we just met and I really want to do you" kind. *g*

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

One of the best xf fics I ever read had M&S switching bodies. Wish I still had that link...hrm.

Valeah and I have this wish to redo the end of Holiday where Jack is in Jack and Daniel and Sam are in Sam's body and they have a threesome but it's jack/daniel too but it's Sam/Jack essensially...yeah.

[woodface]

Someone did a fic like that but with two pairings. However, the way it was written was so messy that it basically didn't make sense. The author kept changing POV constantly so that you really had no clue anymore who was doing who or what.

So if you can pull this successfully off...

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

That's why I don't like body switching AT ALL in fic but LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT WORSHIP IT OH MY GOD IT'S BETTER THAN JACK'S FINGERS when it's done on screen with actors. Especially as the actors get to have SO MUCH. Holiday RULES for RDA's interp of MS and MS's interp of RDA. Oh! And Chris Judge as RDA...OMFG. Yah.

And I just recently saw a Smallville episode with eVilclArk and it was....the hottest gayest thing I've EVER seen.

So...to conclude: when it's actors doing it? I'm there. when it's in fic? I just don't buy it.

[woodface]

Awwwww but maybe if a good actor gave it a go? (And Teal'c!RDA was too funny =o)

Oooooo, pretty icon. Hmmmmm robot!OTP smut.

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

Wait, that's what I'm saying...I like it when actors do it, I dislike it when it's fic'd...

Yeah. Tin!jacksam. elvish_whore is theoretically writing me this...:hopes:

You know the robots had ot4 all the time to keep sane.

now that's fic...hrm...

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

guess it's a good thing Carter came up with a better power source, then...

[woodface]

D'oh. See, sometimes I think something but my fingers type something else. I meant a good author.

Ooooooo! Let us know when it's written.

Hmmmm *eyes robots*

[aj.livejournal.com]

*smirk*

[splash-the-cat.livejournal.com]

Don't go into the list, Lyssie! Save yourself!

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

that icon owns, btw. It's so true.

And yes, Lyssie, stop reading that shiiit! It'll rot your brain!

[tafkarfanfic.livejournal.com]

Honestly - I like it when my friends excerpt bits of the lists into their LJs, because it's a CONSTANT REMINDER THAT I SHOULD RUN SCREAMING FROM SAID LISTS.

I mean, FUCK.

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm mistakenly on a shweir list. no no no. The only fic I read is by people on my flist and luckily my flist has AMAZING writer talent. Rarr.

Lists are teh bad.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*eyes* I'm sorry. Should we have a conversation about Shep's fingers on Sparky?

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

eeep! :hides:

[splash-the-cat.livejournal.com]

Also, am constantly boggled by the "Jack O'Neill, the romantic ideal" mindset. 'Cause, yes, he's hot and cute and funny, but damn. They boy gots issues up the wazoo.

[tafkarfanfic.livejournal.com]

Same reason girls like Spike. "Ooooh, he's damaged, it's SOOOO HOT!"

Um, no. I *dated* several Spikes (not vampires or murderers, but sort of the real-life versions), and they SUCK.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

He does. And I have... no problems with the romantic ideal, but, uh... I have no clue what I was going to say. My hands are too cold, apparently.

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

idea: Sam ponders why she has a jack's-fingers kink.

[karma-aster.livejournal.com]

Because Jack has very talented fingers? (coughing)Or so I would speculate...

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

Well, as we know from LyssieFic(tm) Yes. Very much so.

Jack, 3249873294; Sam, 0
(or is it the other way around?)

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*eyes both*

Hey. Just because Sam hasn't had a chance to use HEr talented fingers....

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

Hrmmm? :grins:

[karma-aster.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. I imagine Sam probably knows all the right places to hit with Jack.

Eh...they're probably both quite skilled.

[karma-aster.livejournal.com]

Freaky. Guess what I put on the CD player right before starting to read my flist? Guess what I'm singing along to right now?

And that is possibly the best description of Jack I've ever heard.

Wow, Lyss...

[nique.livejournal.com]

Your fandom sucks. *runs away*

Oh, and speaking of... er. Could you kindly convince Dom that she is NOT NOT NOT allowed to use the phrase 'beyond hope' in reference to Nate? Because, damnit! *pauses to kick John* He's a bad influence.