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You Know You're From Missouri When...
Everyone in your family has been on a "Float trip."
Yup. And they're kinda fun, too.
"Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.
Oh, hell no. Vacation means going to... Milwaukee.
Down south to you means Arkansas.
Nope. Lived in Florida.
The phrase, "I'm going to the Lake this weekend," can mean only one thing.
Teenagers in bikinis will be terrorised by a chainsaw-toting crazy man
You know what "Party Cove" is. (If you know where, you are a boating party animal)
Thank god, I don't
You think Missouri is pronounced with an "ah" at the end.
Only if you're a hick
You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.
I only know in my heart that football is boring.
You think I-44 is spelled "foarty-foar." (St. Louis Only)
....uh, no. Again, the hicks.
You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.
You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.
..ohmigod. Yep. They're all on I-70, and they're useful landmarks when visiting, say, Bev...
You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
...dancing in it, duh.
You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.
I am, obviously, lacking in my education...
You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is.
Yes, but this ddoes not mean I've ever done either.
You think "frog gigging" should be an Olympic sport.
You think Imo's is larger than Pizza Hut.
GAH. Sucky pizza. And, actually, they completely ARE larger because PIzza Hut has gone bankrupt at some point recently (why else would ever sit-down diner close?)
You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
...unless you're special and driving to Dragon*Con with Klingons, in which case, once you've hit Tenessee, all cows are horses and all horses are cows.
You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
Hey, if I wait five minutes, I can look like a high-class hooker with a boob job...
There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
Well, something could happen...
The local gas station sells live bait.
A-yup.
Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.
Doesn't everyone?
All your radio preset buttons are country.
Oh, FUCK NO
You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.
...fucking Sunday drivers... *shakes fist* Your god sucks!
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Missouri.
As Timey said, I would never bore anyone....
You Know You're From Missouri When...
Everyone in your family has been on a "Float trip."
Yup. And they're kinda fun, too.
"Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Worlds of Fun or Six Flags.
Oh, hell no. Vacation means going to... Milwaukee.
Down south to you means Arkansas.
Nope. Lived in Florida.
The phrase, "I'm going to the Lake this weekend," can mean only one thing.
Teenagers in bikinis will be terrorised by a chainsaw-toting crazy man
You know what "Party Cove" is. (If you know where, you are a boating party animal)
Thank god, I don't
You think Missouri is pronounced with an "ah" at the end.
Only if you're a hick
You know in your heart that Mizzou can beat Nebraska in football.
I only know in my heart that football is boring.
You think I-44 is spelled "foarty-foar." (St. Louis Only)
....uh, no. Again, the hicks.
You'll pay for your kids to go to college unless they want to go to KU.
You know that Concordia is halfway between Kansas City and Columbia, and Columbia is halfway between St. Louis and Kansas City, and Warrenton outlet mall is halfway between Columbia and St. Louis.
..ohmigod. Yep. They're all on I-70, and they're useful landmarks when visiting, say, Bev...
You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
...dancing in it, duh.
You know that Harry S. Truman, Walt Disney and Mark Twain are all from Missouri.
I am, obviously, lacking in my education...
You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is.
Yes, but this ddoes not mean I've ever done either.
You think "frog gigging" should be an Olympic sport.
You think Imo's is larger than Pizza Hut.
GAH. Sucky pizza. And, actually, they completely ARE larger because PIzza Hut has gone bankrupt at some point recently (why else would ever sit-down diner close?)
You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
...unless you're special and driving to Dragon*Con with Klingons, in which case, once you've hit Tenessee, all cows are horses and all horses are cows.
You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
Hey, if I wait five minutes, I can look like a high-class hooker with a boob job...
There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
Well, something could happen...
The local gas station sells live bait.
A-yup.
Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.
Doesn't everyone?
All your radio preset buttons are country.
Oh, FUCK NO
You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.
...fucking Sunday drivers... *shakes fist* Your god sucks!
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Missouri.
As Timey said, I would never bore anyone....