*cracks knuckles* Warning for rantiness and hyperbole

[lyssie]

First, since I was recently told that I should never be offended by something that wasn't aimed at me, I'd like to say thank you. Really.

Second, IT IS THAT TIME AGAIN. Where I warn you that, shockingly, I am that annoying fangirl feminist type that thinks ruining your squee is fun. Sometimes, I even daydream it (like, frell, I had the whole day to think up this post, you guys.)

Third. Anastasia Dualla is more awesome than you and God, too.

Wait. That wasn't actually what I wanted to say, but that is pertinent to life, anyway.

Ahem. Because this apparently needs saying again (dude, two years, and you'd think the Kara/Sam people wouldn't pick up bad habits from the crazy Kara/Lee people [I SAID THE CRAZY ONES, not the nice, sane ones]). Anastasia Dualla is not stupid, weak, or a horrible example to women everywhere for giving Lee Adama a second chance (or for wanting to save her marriage).

Yes, I know. The rant I linked to is more geared towards knocking down the Sam Anders bashing arguments, but given that Dee and Sam are in the same position, it applies to both.

You can make the argument that Dee and Lee started their marriage on a lie, except, um, with that deleted scene, no it didn't.

You can make the argument that Lee never loved Dee, and I'll counter with "perception is in the eye of the beholder" because as far as I'm concerned Lee DID love her (we got nowhere near the development for them we got for Kara and Sam, which is sad. BUT NONE of the quadodoom got a lot of development outside of longing glances and ridiculous retcons).

You can make the argument that Kara was always honest with Sam, but Lee was never honest with Dee, and I will laugh in your face. Because, BULLSHIT. We know NOTHING but conjecture about their marriages.

What we do know?

Kara likes calling Sam for sex.
Lee hides in bars.
Dee calls him on his bullshit.
Sam sometimes calls Kara on hers, though less once he's a Cylon.

I would have more, but clearly, I'm hungry. ALSO. THERE IS GOING TO BE A SAM MINI-MATE. THERE IS A GOD.

In closing: there is a sexist double-standard in this fandom: Sam gets a free pass because he looooves Kara sooooooo much. And she loves him! So it's totally ok for him to forgive her and take her back. But Dee? Totally weak and stupid (and other words I would like to punch people for).

ALSO. Because it bears repeating: MARRIAGE IS NOT A FREE PASS TO HAPPY BUNNY LAND. Real marriages TAKE WORK. And shouldering that burden and trying to make it work? IS FAR STRONGER than just walking away. Not to mention, you can be 100% compatible and STILL FAIL at it.

(pls insert your own hyperbolic curse words as needed, I need pizza. *nom*)

Comments

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

I was already planning this post, honestly. You are not the first person on our side of the fence to say Dee was stupid for taking Lee back. You are simply the latest (somewhere back in the dark days of the K/S thread is me yelling at everyone for it and being soundly told "don't like, don't read") and the current catalyst.

You talk about the Kara/Lee shippers reining in their crazies? Well, this is me speaking out against someone bashing a pairing that has nothing to do with Kara/Sam.

1. I read your theories. They're the same ones Kara/Lee shippers give, so I tend to discount them on principle.

2. Lee learned from his father that duty, the people, the big picture, come first. I don't care who he's married to, the woman is going to have to learn to live with that or smack him out of it.

And Lee asked Dee to take him back on her terms after she'd already proved to him she knew he'd been an ass. He knew he'd screwed up, and he apologized. The idea that he'd then go randomly sleep around on her is ridiculous.

3. Feminism is about choice, yes. Dee made a choice. I made a choice. You made a choice. We all won.

And, for serious? You think this is catty?

I said, "I think this person is wrong, and anyone who agrees is wrong. And I am really tired of this double-standard, where Sam gets a free pass because he has a penis, but Dee gets called all sorts of names because she dared to forgive her husband and want her marriage to work."

I didn't say, "I think this person is so stupid, and here's why they're an idiot. Oh, and did I mention it's *insert name here* and you should all laugh at them with me?"

[scifiaddict86.livejournal.com]

1. I seriously doubt anyone on that side was saying Lee was too selfish to love anyone it just not their MO.
2. I don't think Lee loved her all that much in the first place (Dee even said it in the deleted scene) and I think the affair proved he didn't improve on that. I think Lee coped with his mother's abusive personality by shutting off his emotions and it limits his ability not only to form connections but to empathize with others as an adult. You see it in his other relationships as well when he can't see his father grieving Kara, or why Laura was pissed at him post Crossroads. I think Lee was a profoundly selfish person who had little scruples when it came to sex (table scene, Shevon etc) and I think he can justify better than Baltar when he wants, if the situation was right he wouldn't have lost much sleep over a second affair.
3. I have a serious issue with the fact that you decided to attack indirectly rather than tell me you disagree. To me it feels like you went behind my back and that's one thing I cannot stand. I get that this post wasn't specifically about me but since it came almost directly after mine (almost right after I finished responding to you on my post actually) it felt rather like a personal attack. Lumping me in with a bunch of "crazies" isn't exactly supposed feel nice is it?

Also I don't see how pointing out the Dee was weak in this situation is any different than pointing out that Ellen was a drunk. As you said above real women have flaws and I don't see how pointing that out is anti-feminist.