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Entry tags:
Co-written Crossover fic: BSG/Farscape, Frell the Torpedoes, PG
Disclaimer: Not ours
Fandoms: Battlestar Galactica and Farscape
Characters: Lee Adama, Stark, Cally Tyrol, Crichton, Aeryn Sun, random OC
Genre: gen, humor, crack!fic, crossover
Set: BSG after Rapture/Taking a Break, Farscape after Twice Shy.
Rating: PG, language
Notes: this started due to the following section of conversation (there was more to it, but no one needs to read me being capslockily sarcastic about BSG)
[01:46]![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
karma_aster: Also, I'm amusing myself by imagining Lee and Stark stuck in an elevator together.
[01:47]lyssie: [after having relayed this aloud] nique: "...omg. Poor Lee. That's just cruel and unusual punishment."
[01:47]lyssie: She also suggests crazy D'Anna and Stark in an elevator.
[01:48]karma_aster: Yes, but it's funny cruelty.
[01:48]karma_aster: And isn't the amusement factor enough? Really?
Final note: I do actually love and adore Lee Adama, but. Really, can't you see this?
Frell The Torpedoes
bykarma_aster and lyssie
"My side! Your side!"
"Hey, ok. OK. I'll be on my side." Lee paused and stared at the crazy man in the mask. "Whatever my side is."
"Your side shifts." Stark let out a sound that was disturbingly close to a giggle. "All the time. Shifting and swirling and flipping end over end."
"They're gonna fix this thing soon, right?" The elevator he was standing in was not big enough for the both of them, but that didn't matter. They were stuck there until the crew could fix the problem and get them out.
"They never fix me, never fix anyone," replied Stark, his voice mournful. "Lost in chaos forever--did I tell you about Zhaan? I should tell you about Zhaan. She called to me, from afar." Stark leaned closer, his voice conspiratorial, "I see dead people."
"...that's great...really." Lee punched the call button again. "Hey, we're still in here."
Cally looked at the call button on her side and rolled her eyes, "Would somebody tell the Major that we're working on the problem?" She demanded. "I'm a little busy." Her fingers were buried in wires, trying to find the short that would release the door.
Henry shook his head, "Sir, we killed our side of the radio when we took the panel off-line."
"Well, frak me," Cally muttered, "Can we at least turn off the speaker?"
"There seems to be something stuck," Henry replied, almost meekly.
"Frak," Cally muttered again. Sometimes, she really hated this job. Next time some idiot got stuck in the elevator, she was sending Galen to work on it. A brief grin touched her lips.
"Uh, not trying to rush anyone but...uh...I really need to...do things," Lee's increasingly panicked and tinny voice commented from the speaker.
"They talk to me all the time. They don't go away. Voices that should have faded long ago," Stark said matter-of-factly in the background. "Sometimes they ask me to do things."
Cally rolled her eyes and yanked her hands free, grabbing the wrench from the kit and banging on the doors, "Just shut up in there! We're working on it!"
"You could just shoot the speaker, you know," a passing Crichton said idly.
Cally got a sudden, thoughtful look on her face. "I think it'd piss off the Chief."
Looking nervously at her, Henry asked, "Wouldn't that be considered destroying military equipment, sir?"
"We could always just say it overloaded," she muttered, half to herself.
Aeryn smirked and poked Crichton. "What you're doing? It's not helping."
"Sometimes, I float between the stars," Stark's voice informed them, drifting from the speaker. "Like a dromedary on a giant's back."
There was another sound coming from the speaker, something that sounded rather like someone reaching the breaking point, "Pleeeeease," Lee said. "Hurrrryyyy up."
"You think we can make him start crying?" Crichton asked. "Last guy who got stuck in a shuttle with Stark only made it twenty minutes before he flipped out."
"Sir, the last time Major Apollo cried, Starbuck mocked him for four months--" pausing, Cally added, "I'm not seeing a bad, here."
"Uh, sir, I don't think I can be a part of this," Henry told her, his voice low, "Chief scares me."
Crichton clapped him on the shoulder. "We never saw you. You were never here."
"You know, I've been hearing this odd sound from Starbuck's Viper," Cally said. "I think you should go investigate. Now."
"Wouldn't want Starbuck to, um, yes. Sir." With a nod, Henry fled the scene, intending to do nothing but search every inch of Captain Thrace's viper for the fault. Even if it meant that Captain Thrace would chew him out for delaying her.
Crichton shot Cally a conspiratorial grin. "You're sneaky. I like you."
"Helloooo," Lee warbled, "Helloooo?"
"Do you like fish? I like fish," Stark said happily. "I always follow my fish."
"Thank you," replied Cally quietly as she finished cross-wiring the speaker, stepped back and then poked a screwdriver on the call button. There was a spark, a fizzle, and the slight crackle indicating the speaker was on died. Smug, Cally set the screwdriver down and began to get back to work getting the elevator working. She was careful to undo her wiring job first, though.
"You ever consider life aboard an outlaw Leviathan?" Crichton asked, eying her work admiringly.
"You got benefits?" Cally shot back.
"We have our own health plan-" Crichton began, only to be interrupted by another poke from Aeryn. "What?"
"We have Noranti," she clarified, glaring a bit.
Cally pulled one hand free and pulled the soldering gun from her pocket, applying it to the wiring, then snipping out the shorted piece and reaching in to unstick the over-rides. "I'll keep it in mind." She turned the lever, "Now, let's see if it's been long enough to make him cry."
When the doors slid open, Lee was not actively crying (to Cally's secret disappointment), but his voice was shaking and higher-pitched than normal.
Stark, on the other hand, was clearly delighted by his new friend and their long conversation.
As much as Crichton delighted in annoying Lee Adama, the look on his face was enough to worry anyone. With a sigh, he clapped Stark on the shoulder, "Stark! Good to see you. We should probably let your new friends finish their work, and I'm sure Granny has a new concoction to help keep the colonials from getting scurvy."
"Scurvy?" Cally let out a faint snort. "That's archaic."
"Yes, but Granny still wants to help," with a cheerful salute to Cally, and a firm grip on Stark, Crichton walked off.
Looking after him, Aeryn rolled her eyes, "I suppose he expects me to go with him." She moved and started helping Cally pack her kit up.
"He should say so, then, shouldn't he?" Cally replied. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." Casting a glance around, Aeryn noticed that Major Adama was still there, looking shaky. With a slight smile, she turned to Cally, "May I come with you to the hangar? Lieutenant Edmonson offered to let me sit in on the latest viper class."
"Oooo...I think she likes you."
Aeryn shrugged, "I like her too." And would continue to do so, as long as Racetrack didn't take the shiny viper toys away from her.
"I'm going back to my rack," moaned Lee.
They both looked back as he staggered down the corridor, accompanied by a faint whimpering.
-f-
Fandoms: Battlestar Galactica and Farscape
Characters: Lee Adama, Stark, Cally Tyrol, Crichton, Aeryn Sun, random OC
Genre: gen, humor, crack!fic, crossover
Set: BSG after Rapture/Taking a Break, Farscape after Twice Shy.
Rating: PG, language
Notes: this started due to the following section of conversation (there was more to it, but no one needs to read me being capslockily sarcastic about BSG)
[01:46]
karma_aster: Also, I'm amusing myself by imagining Lee and Stark stuck in an elevator together.[01:47]
lyssie: [after having relayed this aloud] nique: "...omg. Poor Lee. That's just cruel and unusual punishment."[01:47]
lyssie: She also suggests crazy D'Anna and Stark in an elevator.[01:48]
karma_aster: Yes, but it's funny cruelty.[01:48]
karma_aster: And isn't the amusement factor enough? Really?Final note: I do actually love and adore Lee Adama, but. Really, can't you see this?
Frell The Torpedoes
by
karma_aster and lyssie"My side! Your side!"
"Hey, ok. OK. I'll be on my side." Lee paused and stared at the crazy man in the mask. "Whatever my side is."
"Your side shifts." Stark let out a sound that was disturbingly close to a giggle. "All the time. Shifting and swirling and flipping end over end."
"They're gonna fix this thing soon, right?" The elevator he was standing in was not big enough for the both of them, but that didn't matter. They were stuck there until the crew could fix the problem and get them out.
"They never fix me, never fix anyone," replied Stark, his voice mournful. "Lost in chaos forever--did I tell you about Zhaan? I should tell you about Zhaan. She called to me, from afar." Stark leaned closer, his voice conspiratorial, "I see dead people."
"...that's great...really." Lee punched the call button again. "Hey, we're still in here."
Cally looked at the call button on her side and rolled her eyes, "Would somebody tell the Major that we're working on the problem?" She demanded. "I'm a little busy." Her fingers were buried in wires, trying to find the short that would release the door.
Henry shook his head, "Sir, we killed our side of the radio when we took the panel off-line."
"Well, frak me," Cally muttered, "Can we at least turn off the speaker?"
"There seems to be something stuck," Henry replied, almost meekly.
"Frak," Cally muttered again. Sometimes, she really hated this job. Next time some idiot got stuck in the elevator, she was sending Galen to work on it. A brief grin touched her lips.
"Uh, not trying to rush anyone but...uh...I really need to...do things," Lee's increasingly panicked and tinny voice commented from the speaker.
"They talk to me all the time. They don't go away. Voices that should have faded long ago," Stark said matter-of-factly in the background. "Sometimes they ask me to do things."
Cally rolled her eyes and yanked her hands free, grabbing the wrench from the kit and banging on the doors, "Just shut up in there! We're working on it!"
"You could just shoot the speaker, you know," a passing Crichton said idly.
Cally got a sudden, thoughtful look on her face. "I think it'd piss off the Chief."
Looking nervously at her, Henry asked, "Wouldn't that be considered destroying military equipment, sir?"
"We could always just say it overloaded," she muttered, half to herself.
Aeryn smirked and poked Crichton. "What you're doing? It's not helping."
"Sometimes, I float between the stars," Stark's voice informed them, drifting from the speaker. "Like a dromedary on a giant's back."
There was another sound coming from the speaker, something that sounded rather like someone reaching the breaking point, "Pleeeeease," Lee said. "Hurrrryyyy up."
"You think we can make him start crying?" Crichton asked. "Last guy who got stuck in a shuttle with Stark only made it twenty minutes before he flipped out."
"Sir, the last time Major Apollo cried, Starbuck mocked him for four months--" pausing, Cally added, "I'm not seeing a bad, here."
"Uh, sir, I don't think I can be a part of this," Henry told her, his voice low, "Chief scares me."
Crichton clapped him on the shoulder. "We never saw you. You were never here."
"You know, I've been hearing this odd sound from Starbuck's Viper," Cally said. "I think you should go investigate. Now."
"Wouldn't want Starbuck to, um, yes. Sir." With a nod, Henry fled the scene, intending to do nothing but search every inch of Captain Thrace's viper for the fault. Even if it meant that Captain Thrace would chew him out for delaying her.
Crichton shot Cally a conspiratorial grin. "You're sneaky. I like you."
"Helloooo," Lee warbled, "Helloooo?"
"Do you like fish? I like fish," Stark said happily. "I always follow my fish."
"Thank you," replied Cally quietly as she finished cross-wiring the speaker, stepped back and then poked a screwdriver on the call button. There was a spark, a fizzle, and the slight crackle indicating the speaker was on died. Smug, Cally set the screwdriver down and began to get back to work getting the elevator working. She was careful to undo her wiring job first, though.
"You ever consider life aboard an outlaw Leviathan?" Crichton asked, eying her work admiringly.
"You got benefits?" Cally shot back.
"We have our own health plan-" Crichton began, only to be interrupted by another poke from Aeryn. "What?"
"We have Noranti," she clarified, glaring a bit.
Cally pulled one hand free and pulled the soldering gun from her pocket, applying it to the wiring, then snipping out the shorted piece and reaching in to unstick the over-rides. "I'll keep it in mind." She turned the lever, "Now, let's see if it's been long enough to make him cry."
When the doors slid open, Lee was not actively crying (to Cally's secret disappointment), but his voice was shaking and higher-pitched than normal.
Stark, on the other hand, was clearly delighted by his new friend and their long conversation.
As much as Crichton delighted in annoying Lee Adama, the look on his face was enough to worry anyone. With a sigh, he clapped Stark on the shoulder, "Stark! Good to see you. We should probably let your new friends finish their work, and I'm sure Granny has a new concoction to help keep the colonials from getting scurvy."
"Scurvy?" Cally let out a faint snort. "That's archaic."
"Yes, but Granny still wants to help," with a cheerful salute to Cally, and a firm grip on Stark, Crichton walked off.
Looking after him, Aeryn rolled her eyes, "I suppose he expects me to go with him." She moved and started helping Cally pack her kit up.
"He should say so, then, shouldn't he?" Cally replied. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." Casting a glance around, Aeryn noticed that Major Adama was still there, looking shaky. With a slight smile, she turned to Cally, "May I come with you to the hangar? Lieutenant Edmonson offered to let me sit in on the latest viper class."
"Oooo...I think she likes you."
Aeryn shrugged, "I like her too." And would continue to do so, as long as Racetrack didn't take the shiny viper toys away from her.
"I'm going back to my rack," moaned Lee.
They both looked back as he staggered down the corridor, accompanied by a faint whimpering.
-f-
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(mournful sigh)Tragic.
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(Hai, I am catching up and spamming you. :P )
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I have to admit, Lee does sorta deserve it. As much as I love him. There will... probably be more.
(is ok. glee before bed, yay)