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Entry tags:
fic: newbsg, Isn't on the Label, Kara/Anders fluff
disclaimer: not mine.
genre: Earth! crackfic.
pairing: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders
rating: ...PG
notes: not the fic I was bitching about as I've lost the end. sigh.
So, a long time ago, in a post very filled with wank,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
hya asked me to write fic where Anders bought Kara a house. This, is that fic.
Isn't on the Label
by ALC Punk!
Earth wasn't exactly all it was cracked up to be.
For one thing, they didn't have flying cars, women weren't exactly equal to men, and Kara was tossed out of the Air Force academy on her first day.
Not that she cared about the last, because, damn, the fight on the quad had been glorious.
Luckily, Sam fell in with some sports thing, and they had an income of sorts. She hated being his wife, when the media took pictures, but then again, Sam did tell her she could punch the paparazzi. So she did. After the third one dropped his case, Kara was feeling pretty awesome.
One day, Sam took her to lunch, saying he had lots to tell her.
Since lots usually meant talking about his practice, or the guys, or teasing and taunting her until they had sex (not something Kara objected to), Kara figured she might end up bored. Kara frequently took over the conversation when Sam babbled, figuring it was for both their good.
In mid-sentence, Sam suddenly stopped and then said, slightly less flippantly, "I bought you a house."
Kara blinked, "What?"
"I bought you a house," Sam repeated, waving a fry at her. Luckily, there was no ketchup on it.
"Why?"
"Those sports guys, the ones who signed me for--what was it again, basketball?" He shrugged, dismissing that, "Anyway. They said I should use the money for something, and I mentioned we were living out of a motel, and they suggested I buy a house."
"Buy me a house," Kara raised her eyebrows, "All that money, and you wasted it on me?"
"It's not a waste. See, there's ten rooms." The conversation stopped as Sam took a sip of his milkshake, then he continued, "I figure it'll take us at least a week."
"A week?"
"To have sex in every room," Sam replied.
Kara facepalmed, then grinned at him, "I thought that's what you meant. Lecher."
"Prude."
A snicker escaped Kara, and she started balling up her wrappers, "All right, you idiot, show me this house you bought me."
Grinning, Sam stood and helped clear the tray, catching her up against the wall for a little wriggly hip-action, "I'll do more than show you."
Giggling like an idiot, Kara shoved him away and took off for the car. She still had the keys, after all.
-
After getting lost twice--neither of them believed in maps, directions, or giving a frak how long it took--Kara pulled up in front of a slightly dilapidated building in a very peaceful-looking town. Staring up, eyes a little wide, considering the reality of things, Kara said, "It's very... suburban."
Really, she expected Sharon and Helo to come bouncing out, Hera in tow.
"Yup. It's kinda a fixer-upper, they said," Sam told her, coming up behind her and slinging his arms over her shoulders. "I figure, we clean it, fix it, have lots of sex in it--"
"Clean it again," Kara teased.
"--and then sell it and find a place we really like."
"Do I get a say this time?" She teased, looking up at him.
"Yup." Grinning down at her, he continued, "Wanna see inside?"
He gave her the thirty-cent tour, and Kara had to admit that the peeling paint and the bits of dry-rot were kind of making her fingers itch to pull them apart and slather them with paint. Still, he'd bought a house, and hadn't consulted her.
Back near the front door, Kara pushed him up against the wall, and leaned in. "You bought me a house."
"Yeah."
"Kinda presumptive, isn't it?" Kara asked, her eyebrows raised.
"Well, we are married," pointed out Sam, his tone logical. "And we do need a place to stay."
"And if I don't like it?"
His fingers slipped between hers, and he murmured, "You mean you aren't itching to pull it apart and start from scratch?"
Annoyed that he knew her so well, Kara rolled her eyes, "Sammy, I don't want to be a construction worker when I grow up."
"I was thinking more a painter," Sam said cheerfully.
"Sam."
"I should have asked."
"Yeah. I'm not from Earth, remember? I have a brain that's five times as smart as yours--"
"Except for the part where you can't keep from getting in fights."
Kara snickered, "That's self-preservation. This planet is boring." She pushed up on her toes, and whispered in his ear, "And I am way more awesome than you."
"I know." He kissed her cheek with a loud smack, "So, should I sell the house?"
"Hell, no!" Kara kicked his foot, "I've never gotten a house for a present before. Idiot."
He chuckled and kissed her. "Guess we should go look at paint colors--"
"Nah." Kara started yanking his shirt out of his jeans, "There's ten rooms. I plan on being done with this house in two days."
Sam considered that, then shook his head, "Baby, even I don't have that kind of stamina."
"Guess you'll just have to try." Kara said sweetly.
He groaned, "Buying you a house was the worst idea I've ever had."
"You're not dead yet."
Which was true, but he might be soon. Still, Kara figured that Sam Anders was totally worth having a house bought for her. As long as he didn't expect her to do things like the dishes. Or cook. Or clean, except for stripping the walls. She was up for that. Just as soon as she had sex with her ridiculously sweet husband.
-f-
genre: Earth! crackfic.
pairing: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders
rating: ...PG
notes: not the fic I was bitching about as I've lost the end. sigh.
So, a long time ago, in a post very filled with wank,
hya asked me to write fic where Anders bought Kara a house. This, is that fic.Isn't on the Label
by ALC Punk!
Earth wasn't exactly all it was cracked up to be.
For one thing, they didn't have flying cars, women weren't exactly equal to men, and Kara was tossed out of the Air Force academy on her first day.
Not that she cared about the last, because, damn, the fight on the quad had been glorious.
Luckily, Sam fell in with some sports thing, and they had an income of sorts. She hated being his wife, when the media took pictures, but then again, Sam did tell her she could punch the paparazzi. So she did. After the third one dropped his case, Kara was feeling pretty awesome.
One day, Sam took her to lunch, saying he had lots to tell her.
Since lots usually meant talking about his practice, or the guys, or teasing and taunting her until they had sex (not something Kara objected to), Kara figured she might end up bored. Kara frequently took over the conversation when Sam babbled, figuring it was for both their good.
In mid-sentence, Sam suddenly stopped and then said, slightly less flippantly, "I bought you a house."
Kara blinked, "What?"
"I bought you a house," Sam repeated, waving a fry at her. Luckily, there was no ketchup on it.
"Why?"
"Those sports guys, the ones who signed me for--what was it again, basketball?" He shrugged, dismissing that, "Anyway. They said I should use the money for something, and I mentioned we were living out of a motel, and they suggested I buy a house."
"Buy me a house," Kara raised her eyebrows, "All that money, and you wasted it on me?"
"It's not a waste. See, there's ten rooms." The conversation stopped as Sam took a sip of his milkshake, then he continued, "I figure it'll take us at least a week."
"A week?"
"To have sex in every room," Sam replied.
Kara facepalmed, then grinned at him, "I thought that's what you meant. Lecher."
"Prude."
A snicker escaped Kara, and she started balling up her wrappers, "All right, you idiot, show me this house you bought me."
Grinning, Sam stood and helped clear the tray, catching her up against the wall for a little wriggly hip-action, "I'll do more than show you."
Giggling like an idiot, Kara shoved him away and took off for the car. She still had the keys, after all.
-
After getting lost twice--neither of them believed in maps, directions, or giving a frak how long it took--Kara pulled up in front of a slightly dilapidated building in a very peaceful-looking town. Staring up, eyes a little wide, considering the reality of things, Kara said, "It's very... suburban."
Really, she expected Sharon and Helo to come bouncing out, Hera in tow.
"Yup. It's kinda a fixer-upper, they said," Sam told her, coming up behind her and slinging his arms over her shoulders. "I figure, we clean it, fix it, have lots of sex in it--"
"Clean it again," Kara teased.
"--and then sell it and find a place we really like."
"Do I get a say this time?" She teased, looking up at him.
"Yup." Grinning down at her, he continued, "Wanna see inside?"
He gave her the thirty-cent tour, and Kara had to admit that the peeling paint and the bits of dry-rot were kind of making her fingers itch to pull them apart and slather them with paint. Still, he'd bought a house, and hadn't consulted her.
Back near the front door, Kara pushed him up against the wall, and leaned in. "You bought me a house."
"Yeah."
"Kinda presumptive, isn't it?" Kara asked, her eyebrows raised.
"Well, we are married," pointed out Sam, his tone logical. "And we do need a place to stay."
"And if I don't like it?"
His fingers slipped between hers, and he murmured, "You mean you aren't itching to pull it apart and start from scratch?"
Annoyed that he knew her so well, Kara rolled her eyes, "Sammy, I don't want to be a construction worker when I grow up."
"I was thinking more a painter," Sam said cheerfully.
"Sam."
"I should have asked."
"Yeah. I'm not from Earth, remember? I have a brain that's five times as smart as yours--"
"Except for the part where you can't keep from getting in fights."
Kara snickered, "That's self-preservation. This planet is boring." She pushed up on her toes, and whispered in his ear, "And I am way more awesome than you."
"I know." He kissed her cheek with a loud smack, "So, should I sell the house?"
"Hell, no!" Kara kicked his foot, "I've never gotten a house for a present before. Idiot."
He chuckled and kissed her. "Guess we should go look at paint colors--"
"Nah." Kara started yanking his shirt out of his jeans, "There's ten rooms. I plan on being done with this house in two days."
Sam considered that, then shook his head, "Baby, even I don't have that kind of stamina."
"Guess you'll just have to try." Kara said sweetly.
He groaned, "Buying you a house was the worst idea I've ever had."
"You're not dead yet."
Which was true, but he might be soon. Still, Kara figured that Sam Anders was totally worth having a house bought for her. As long as he didn't expect her to do things like the dishes. Or cook. Or clean, except for stripping the walls. She was up for that. Just as soon as she had sex with her ridiculously sweet husband.
-f-
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See, Sam *had* to take care of buying the house because Kara would've punched the Realtor. Well, at least if he was anything like *my* realtor. (Why does Firefox want to capitalize Realtor?)
I'm so glad Sam and Kara never stop talking in your head. Or having sex. In your head. Or you know. Whatever. And then spilling out into fic. Hee! And the Agathons *should* totally move in next door.
Double hee! This was so cool!
(And this was the old Sam/Pete wank, wasn't it? Funny, cause I've been watching obscene amounts of SG-1 recently, like, 2003 levels of watching. *g*)
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Sam confirms that Kara would have punched the realtor (Hrm. I know not. Maybe firefox thinks it's a title?)
Sometimes, I wish they would stop. Sigh.
Obviously, the sequel is Kara and Sharon vs. the PTA and muggers.
(yeah, I was actually looking for something else and came across it and was curious about the comments and there yours was, and, well. The rest is history) OH 2003! I sometimes miss you so!
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Plus, what Hya said. The Agathons should totally move in next door. Although that might shock the neighbours even more. I mean, Kara and Sam are probably the first COlonials they've ever met. They would've assumed maybe the spacey people were all like that. Then they meet the Agathons and realise that the Anders/Thrace family is just plain weird. Plus, you know they'll be shocked if Kara and Sam forget to close the blinds while they're baptising the rooms. They'd probably do it in the backyard too, traumatising the neighbourhood children.
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And then Sharon and Helo arrive, and they're normal! Except for the baby...
Kara says that the kids need a better education than they get here on Earth, anyway. And with Sam there, they're getting a good schooling. *snerk* I have got to stop contemplating this.
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Everybody will be having lots more sex, and burglars will be scared to go anywhere near that neighbourhood (can you imagine what Kara would do if she found someone trying to steal her stuff?), and the block party will be way more memorable than in any previous year. The highlight will be Kara starting a drunken brawl and Sam running a betting book on the outcome. And then the Agathons are such a blessed relief, right up until Hera's on a playdate with an impressionable neighbour child, the DVD player goes kaput while they're watching Mulan or something, and she sticks a cable in her arm so she can talk it into fixing itself.
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She'd stake 'em to the lawn.
Hrm... *ponders* (darnit)
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Kara'll fight with the HOA, but then take over the Neighborhood Watch. ... she'll arm her cul-de-sac with a tank and have machine guns in every home. Soon the other Colonials will gravitate to her and they'll take over the Local Council which will ban "corners" and "wifi".
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ahahah. The Colonials would totally have the best suburb, EVER.
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Bwah! Mutually beneficial arrangement.
And hey, they've discovered McDonalds!
This is so wonderfully sweet! <3
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Dude, I think it's actually a Burger King, but--
Kara says the paparazi suck, anyway. ;)
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Lyssie, this is so incredibly awesome.
So... um... where's the fic where they have sex in each room? ;)
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HAHAH. Dude, that is way too much porn, even for me. ;)
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I'm really sad I know. I get excited over it being considered.
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