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rpf: Katee/Tahmoh, The Perils of Wine, PG13/Rish
Disclaimer: Definitely not mine. (yes, I am totally aware, blah, blah, blah)
Notes: I'm pretty sure this is![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sabaceanbabe's fault, with some of the blame also laid heavily on greycoupon. Sigh. And Katee and Tahmoh.
genre: Real People Fic. Sex.
Rating: PG13, off-screen sex, language, naked people
Pairing: Katee Sackhoff/Tahmoh Penikett
The Perils of Wine
by ALC Punk!
"You grabbed my ass!"
Tahmoh laughed, following Katee into her apartment with the vague thought that he would call a cab and get his own ass home. If he slept on her couch again, there would totally be rumors starting--not that anyone knew who they were, yet. But it was totally the thought that counted. "Face it, Sackhoff, it's a really nice ass."
"I can't believe you did that!" She hadn't shut up about it the entire cab ride back to her place, and Tahmoh figured she'd maybe sort of liked it.
Women were weird like that.
"Hey, it was there." He informed her before heading straight to the kitchen and the glass of water he'd been craving since that last shot. Of course, leaving the bar and the drama its usual clientele caused behind had been more on his brain.
"Yeah, right, Penikett," she shouted as she headed for her bedroom. "You're just a frakking letch!"
He paused as he yanked open the cupboard, trying to work out what about that phrase had been wrong. When it hit him, he leaned against the counter, laughing, "Hey, Katee, you said 'frak'!"
"I what?" She reappeared, jacket gone and shirt half-unbuttoned. "I totally did not."
"You did. I heard you." He replied, completely superior. Having never resorted to using Galactica's infamous swear-word, he felt rather proud and way smarter than her.
She snorted, "You are so deaf." Shoving past him, she pulled a cup from the cupboard, then poured water from the pitcher in her fridge. "I don't know how the rest of us put up with you."
"I am totally hot and awesome," Tahmoh replied, reaching around her to snag the beer he'd seen. It seemed far more interesting than the water he'd originally planned on.
Katee stepped back into him and shoved her elbow in his stomach. "No more beer, asshole."
Laughing, he tried to get around her, but she wasn't having any. In the ensuing struggle, Katee's water got spilled, though she didn't drop her glass. Tahmoh slipped in the water and grabbed her and the counter to keep his balance, which slammed her backwards into the cupboard.
"Ow!" Her hand smacked his shoulder, "That hurt, you idiot!"
"You are such a wimp, Sackhoff," he mocked, grabbing her hand when she would have socked him again.
She glared a moment, then frowned, and attempted to sniffle. "It hurt, Tahmoh," she said, her tone whiny. "It hurt a lot, and now my ass is bruised and you should kiss it and make it better."
For a moment, he was pretty sure he'd heard wrong. Or maybe she was joking--after their big fight scene, Tricia and Katee had joked about kissing each others' boo-boos better, with accompanying loud catcalls from cast and crew. As far as he knew, there'd been no actual kissage involved, though he was pretty damned certain it would be hot as hell.
So, for that matter, was Katee.
She was pressed up against him, trying to back away, but he'd trapped her against the counter and cabinets.
"Tahmoh?"
Suddenly aware that he'd let the silence go on a little too long, he reached for something silly, "You want me to kiss it and make it all better?"
"Yeah. And maybe twenty bucks and a case of beer, too."
He laughed, the tension suddenly gone, and leaned down to kiss her cheek-the brotherly thing to do, even if his mental state was drunk and entirely un-brotherly. At the last second, Katee shifted, or he over-shot, or maybe one of them lost their balance. Either way, he was kissing her mouth. The contact was brief and awkward, and he jerked back like he'd been shocked.
"That did not make it better, Tahmoh."
"You're pretty mouthy for a wasted starlet," he informed her, grabbing her ass to prove his point.
She broke out into giggles, falling into him and leaning her forehead against his shoulder. "I am, huh?" She sighed, then whined, "Tahmoh, why can't I find a nice boy and get laid like normal girls?"
He hooted, pulling back and lifting her by the waist onto the counter. "Ok," he said, sliding between her legs and patting her hip, "first of all, you are not a normal girl. And second of all--"
"Just shut up and kiss me again, you idiot."
"You want me to--"
He had to shut up, because her mouth was on his. It wasn't that Tahmoh hadn't ever considered this sort of thing. He'd just never thought Katee would--she'd had boyfriends, he'd had girls, there'd just never been a time. Of course, he stopped thinking about that ten minutes later when his hand was up her shirt, and he had his fingers tugging at her bra-strap, like a bratty little brother. He snapped it a second before she could object.
The objection was muffled and changed into a yelp of outrage because she was still kissing him.
Which was totally her fault, as far as he was concerned. Willing partner or not, Tahmoh was letting her call the shots.
"Are we really doing this?"
"I don't normally make out with my co-workers," Katee murmured, voice breathless.
"OK."
"That totally didn't answer your question."
"No," but he was happy anyway.
Katee kissed him again.
-=-
Not quite sure how they'd gone from kissing to awkward sex on the counter, Katee leaned back against the cupboards and panted as Tahmoh rested against her. It hadn't been the best sex ever, and it hadn't hit all the spots. But it had been kinda nice, in that, no strings way.
At least, she was assuming the no strings thing.
Tahmoh wasn't exactly the kind of guy she'd end up with, though.
But at least she wasn't quite as drunk--the exertion had sweated it out of her. Tahmoh, though, had been more drunk than her, and she was a little impressed that he hadn't fallen over yet.
"Did we really--?" he asked, not moving from his position.
Katee snickered at the uncertainty in his voice. Yeah, they had. She nudged his hip with her knee, "Well, we could have been quilting, I suppose."
He groaned. "Not funny, Katee."
"Sounded funny to me." She shoved at his shoulder. "Gonna stand up again, or did I wear you out?"
"Actually--" he broke off and groaned again, clapping a hand over his mouth. "I'm feeling a little sick." he mumbled.
Really, a girl didn't need to know she'd sexed a man into nausea. Katee shoved at him. "You know where the bathroom is, get there."
He didn't move, but continued making weak little noises. God. Men were such babies, sometimes.
"You puke on me, Tahmoh, and I'll castrate you." There were more than enough knives within easy reach to accomplish the task, too. Katee thanked her mother for her first apartment box, which had been full of far too much cutlery for one person let alone five to use.
Hastily, Tahmoh pulled away. Apparently, her threat was good enough. He staggered a bit as he backed away, then hooked a thumb over his shoulder, and muttered thickly, "I'll, uh. Be back."
"You do that." Katee muttered. She relaxed, now that there wasn't going to be puke everywhere, she was feeling a little decadent. Sprawled on her kitchen counter (the things her mother would say), naked and mostly satisfied.
The counter was a little cold, though, and the sweat was beginning to dry, leaving her skin feeling tacky.
When the discomfort got to be too much (and Tahmoh still hadn't returned from his sojourn), Katee slowly unstuck herself from the counter top, bitching under her breath as she stuck uncomfortably a few times before getting free and dropping to the floor. She could have used a little help.
Rubbing the sore skin on the back of one leg, she moved towards the hallway. The clothes littering the floor she could deal with, later.
Tahmoh came out of the bathroom and leaned against the wall, looking less like he was gonna puke. He didn't smell like he had, but Katee still shoved at him as payback for threatening to do it in the grossest manner possible.
"Ow. Hey. Where do I sleep?"
"Go call a cab," she muttered crankily. "You have an apartment, you know." Then she slammed into the bathroom and pretended not to hear him when he said something about blankets and her couch. She could always try kicking his ass out later. Even if he was a bit larger than her.
-=-
Showers had been the best invention of the modern world ever, Katee decided as she finally stepped out, feeling less like a pig. She was soaked and warmed through from the relentless heat--she'd actually turned it up a notch, twice. Drying off with her fluffy towel, she slowly blanked her mind, in order to get ready for bed. Vaguely, as she brushed her teeth, she wondered if Tahmoh had left.
There'd been no shouted goodbye, but he might have decided to be pissed at her.
Eventually, she sighed and wrapped her hair in a towel before leaving the warm and steamy confines of her bathroom. Her pajamas were probably still crumpled on the floor in her bedroom where she'd left them when she'd gotten dressed to go out.
Peering into the living room, Katee spotted no gigantic idiot sprawled on either the couch or the floor, and shrugged. He'd gone home, then. Well, he'd get a better night's sleep there, anyway.
Thankful for her thick carpet, and loving the plush feeling against her feet, she strolled down to her bedroom.
Pausing in the doorway, she became aware of a rasping noise. She frowned and eyed the bed, then cursed. Tahmoh wasn't asleep on the couch, and he hadn't gone home--instead, he'd fallen asleep on her bed, on top of the covers. And he was taking up the entire space, sprawling everywhere.
That bastard. She muttered the word aloud as she stepped into the room. Feeling oddly self-conscious at still being naked, Katee walked to where her pjs were draped over an open drawer in her dresser. Despite the whole having had sex on her kitchen counter thing, she definitely needed pjs to deal with the idea of Tahmoh in her bed.
Then she poked the man in the bed, trying to wake him.
Unfortunately, he'd hit that state where he'd basically passed out. Her efforts produced nothing but more snores.
Cursing the oaf in her bed, and swearing to kick him out the next time, Katee shoved at him some more so she'd at least have room to climb in and sleep. Next time, she'd toss him out on his ass. Before the sex. Or maybe just after.
If there was a next time.
Grimly aware that he could knock her back onto the floor, she climbed in on top of his left side, yanking some of the comforter over herself as she did so.
Settling down was a little hard. She wasn't exactly used to a lumpy mattress, or someone sleeping so close by.
Next time, she was shoving him out the door and locking it behind him.
With that decision firmly made, Katee closed her eyes and drifted to sleep. On the very edge of awareness, she felt Tahmoh shift and then she was tucked in next to his side, deliciously warm again.
Sleepily, she still hoped he had a hangover in the morning.
-f-
Notes: I'm pretty sure this is
sabaceanbabe's fault, with some of the blame also laid heavily on greycoupon. Sigh. And Katee and Tahmoh.genre: Real People Fic. Sex.
Rating: PG13, off-screen sex, language, naked people
Pairing: Katee Sackhoff/Tahmoh Penikett
The Perils of Wine
by ALC Punk!
"You grabbed my ass!"
Tahmoh laughed, following Katee into her apartment with the vague thought that he would call a cab and get his own ass home. If he slept on her couch again, there would totally be rumors starting--not that anyone knew who they were, yet. But it was totally the thought that counted. "Face it, Sackhoff, it's a really nice ass."
"I can't believe you did that!" She hadn't shut up about it the entire cab ride back to her place, and Tahmoh figured she'd maybe sort of liked it.
Women were weird like that.
"Hey, it was there." He informed her before heading straight to the kitchen and the glass of water he'd been craving since that last shot. Of course, leaving the bar and the drama its usual clientele caused behind had been more on his brain.
"Yeah, right, Penikett," she shouted as she headed for her bedroom. "You're just a frakking letch!"
He paused as he yanked open the cupboard, trying to work out what about that phrase had been wrong. When it hit him, he leaned against the counter, laughing, "Hey, Katee, you said 'frak'!"
"I what?" She reappeared, jacket gone and shirt half-unbuttoned. "I totally did not."
"You did. I heard you." He replied, completely superior. Having never resorted to using Galactica's infamous swear-word, he felt rather proud and way smarter than her.
She snorted, "You are so deaf." Shoving past him, she pulled a cup from the cupboard, then poured water from the pitcher in her fridge. "I don't know how the rest of us put up with you."
"I am totally hot and awesome," Tahmoh replied, reaching around her to snag the beer he'd seen. It seemed far more interesting than the water he'd originally planned on.
Katee stepped back into him and shoved her elbow in his stomach. "No more beer, asshole."
Laughing, he tried to get around her, but she wasn't having any. In the ensuing struggle, Katee's water got spilled, though she didn't drop her glass. Tahmoh slipped in the water and grabbed her and the counter to keep his balance, which slammed her backwards into the cupboard.
"Ow!" Her hand smacked his shoulder, "That hurt, you idiot!"
"You are such a wimp, Sackhoff," he mocked, grabbing her hand when she would have socked him again.
She glared a moment, then frowned, and attempted to sniffle. "It hurt, Tahmoh," she said, her tone whiny. "It hurt a lot, and now my ass is bruised and you should kiss it and make it better."
For a moment, he was pretty sure he'd heard wrong. Or maybe she was joking--after their big fight scene, Tricia and Katee had joked about kissing each others' boo-boos better, with accompanying loud catcalls from cast and crew. As far as he knew, there'd been no actual kissage involved, though he was pretty damned certain it would be hot as hell.
So, for that matter, was Katee.
She was pressed up against him, trying to back away, but he'd trapped her against the counter and cabinets.
"Tahmoh?"
Suddenly aware that he'd let the silence go on a little too long, he reached for something silly, "You want me to kiss it and make it all better?"
"Yeah. And maybe twenty bucks and a case of beer, too."
He laughed, the tension suddenly gone, and leaned down to kiss her cheek-the brotherly thing to do, even if his mental state was drunk and entirely un-brotherly. At the last second, Katee shifted, or he over-shot, or maybe one of them lost their balance. Either way, he was kissing her mouth. The contact was brief and awkward, and he jerked back like he'd been shocked.
"That did not make it better, Tahmoh."
"You're pretty mouthy for a wasted starlet," he informed her, grabbing her ass to prove his point.
She broke out into giggles, falling into him and leaning her forehead against his shoulder. "I am, huh?" She sighed, then whined, "Tahmoh, why can't I find a nice boy and get laid like normal girls?"
He hooted, pulling back and lifting her by the waist onto the counter. "Ok," he said, sliding between her legs and patting her hip, "first of all, you are not a normal girl. And second of all--"
"Just shut up and kiss me again, you idiot."
"You want me to--"
He had to shut up, because her mouth was on his. It wasn't that Tahmoh hadn't ever considered this sort of thing. He'd just never thought Katee would--she'd had boyfriends, he'd had girls, there'd just never been a time. Of course, he stopped thinking about that ten minutes later when his hand was up her shirt, and he had his fingers tugging at her bra-strap, like a bratty little brother. He snapped it a second before she could object.
The objection was muffled and changed into a yelp of outrage because she was still kissing him.
Which was totally her fault, as far as he was concerned. Willing partner or not, Tahmoh was letting her call the shots.
"Are we really doing this?"
"I don't normally make out with my co-workers," Katee murmured, voice breathless.
"OK."
"That totally didn't answer your question."
"No," but he was happy anyway.
Katee kissed him again.
-=-
Not quite sure how they'd gone from kissing to awkward sex on the counter, Katee leaned back against the cupboards and panted as Tahmoh rested against her. It hadn't been the best sex ever, and it hadn't hit all the spots. But it had been kinda nice, in that, no strings way.
At least, she was assuming the no strings thing.
Tahmoh wasn't exactly the kind of guy she'd end up with, though.
But at least she wasn't quite as drunk--the exertion had sweated it out of her. Tahmoh, though, had been more drunk than her, and she was a little impressed that he hadn't fallen over yet.
"Did we really--?" he asked, not moving from his position.
Katee snickered at the uncertainty in his voice. Yeah, they had. She nudged his hip with her knee, "Well, we could have been quilting, I suppose."
He groaned. "Not funny, Katee."
"Sounded funny to me." She shoved at his shoulder. "Gonna stand up again, or did I wear you out?"
"Actually--" he broke off and groaned again, clapping a hand over his mouth. "I'm feeling a little sick." he mumbled.
Really, a girl didn't need to know she'd sexed a man into nausea. Katee shoved at him. "You know where the bathroom is, get there."
He didn't move, but continued making weak little noises. God. Men were such babies, sometimes.
"You puke on me, Tahmoh, and I'll castrate you." There were more than enough knives within easy reach to accomplish the task, too. Katee thanked her mother for her first apartment box, which had been full of far too much cutlery for one person let alone five to use.
Hastily, Tahmoh pulled away. Apparently, her threat was good enough. He staggered a bit as he backed away, then hooked a thumb over his shoulder, and muttered thickly, "I'll, uh. Be back."
"You do that." Katee muttered. She relaxed, now that there wasn't going to be puke everywhere, she was feeling a little decadent. Sprawled on her kitchen counter (the things her mother would say), naked and mostly satisfied.
The counter was a little cold, though, and the sweat was beginning to dry, leaving her skin feeling tacky.
When the discomfort got to be too much (and Tahmoh still hadn't returned from his sojourn), Katee slowly unstuck herself from the counter top, bitching under her breath as she stuck uncomfortably a few times before getting free and dropping to the floor. She could have used a little help.
Rubbing the sore skin on the back of one leg, she moved towards the hallway. The clothes littering the floor she could deal with, later.
Tahmoh came out of the bathroom and leaned against the wall, looking less like he was gonna puke. He didn't smell like he had, but Katee still shoved at him as payback for threatening to do it in the grossest manner possible.
"Ow. Hey. Where do I sleep?"
"Go call a cab," she muttered crankily. "You have an apartment, you know." Then she slammed into the bathroom and pretended not to hear him when he said something about blankets and her couch. She could always try kicking his ass out later. Even if he was a bit larger than her.
-=-
Showers had been the best invention of the modern world ever, Katee decided as she finally stepped out, feeling less like a pig. She was soaked and warmed through from the relentless heat--she'd actually turned it up a notch, twice. Drying off with her fluffy towel, she slowly blanked her mind, in order to get ready for bed. Vaguely, as she brushed her teeth, she wondered if Tahmoh had left.
There'd been no shouted goodbye, but he might have decided to be pissed at her.
Eventually, she sighed and wrapped her hair in a towel before leaving the warm and steamy confines of her bathroom. Her pajamas were probably still crumpled on the floor in her bedroom where she'd left them when she'd gotten dressed to go out.
Peering into the living room, Katee spotted no gigantic idiot sprawled on either the couch or the floor, and shrugged. He'd gone home, then. Well, he'd get a better night's sleep there, anyway.
Thankful for her thick carpet, and loving the plush feeling against her feet, she strolled down to her bedroom.
Pausing in the doorway, she became aware of a rasping noise. She frowned and eyed the bed, then cursed. Tahmoh wasn't asleep on the couch, and he hadn't gone home--instead, he'd fallen asleep on her bed, on top of the covers. And he was taking up the entire space, sprawling everywhere.
That bastard. She muttered the word aloud as she stepped into the room. Feeling oddly self-conscious at still being naked, Katee walked to where her pjs were draped over an open drawer in her dresser. Despite the whole having had sex on her kitchen counter thing, she definitely needed pjs to deal with the idea of Tahmoh in her bed.
Then she poked the man in the bed, trying to wake him.
Unfortunately, he'd hit that state where he'd basically passed out. Her efforts produced nothing but more snores.
Cursing the oaf in her bed, and swearing to kick him out the next time, Katee shoved at him some more so she'd at least have room to climb in and sleep. Next time, she'd toss him out on his ass. Before the sex. Or maybe just after.
If there was a next time.
Grimly aware that he could knock her back onto the floor, she climbed in on top of his left side, yanking some of the comforter over herself as she did so.
Settling down was a little hard. She wasn't exactly used to a lumpy mattress, or someone sleeping so close by.
Next time, she was shoving him out the door and locking it behind him.
With that decision firmly made, Katee closed her eyes and drifted to sleep. On the very edge of awareness, she felt Tahmoh shift and then she was tucked in next to his side, deliciously warm again.
Sleepily, she still hoped he had a hangover in the morning.
-f-
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Really, a girl didn't need to know she'd sexed a man into nausea.
*snerk*
Sequel, please?
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*bats eyes at lyssie*
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I'm thinking about it. The sequel and the multiplicity of body-parts.
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Do you want wine or vodka, for your first drinks at our table in hell? ;)
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and you must add the Trucco. I'm sure he's hanging around somewhere -- maybe someone tipped him off to the (non-existent) paparazzi pics...
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Er, I might. It's more a matter of finding a place to start again.
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(Anonymous) 2007-12-02 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
And it was lots and lots of fun. Thanks for the naughty pleasure ;)
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