![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
fic: Pryde & Dresden. Computer Technician Blues
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Fandoms: X-Men comics, Dresden Files (tv version)
Pairings: (if you squint) Kitty/Pete Wisdom, Harry/Tea
Set: X-Men, when Kitty was going to school in Chicago. Dresden, eh, pick.
Length: 2,000+
Rating: 13. vague violence, some language.
Notes: Random joke, expanded. Annoyingly.
Computer Technician Blues
by ALC Punk!
When Kitty Pryde first started taking the odd freelance computer job, she made it a policy to go for the weirdest clients. This meant that every four months, she headed down into the sewers to have a chat with the 'rat' king about how his hardware needed more dry and less water--it was an argument that would never end with him agreeing.
And every third week, she ended up at Harry Dresden's.
"So you're a wizard," she'd said. More for the conversation than because she cared. He seemed like a fairly normal guy, despite the fetish for girl on girl porn. And the tea thing. Kitty had gotten used to tea in England, but Americans didn't tend to drink it so much. Harry? Always offered her a cup. Which more than made up for the fact that he kept killing his computer for no apparent reason.
"Yeah."
Kitty hadn't pressed him for details, far more interested in the electrical damage to his motherboard. It looked like something she'd phased through, actually. She scowled at it and sighed, "I'll need to replace this."
And she had. Five times. It was enough to make her start to get suspicious.
After all, Kitty had met wizards before. Hell, she'd met Merlin, the chess-playing bastard. So she decided to run an experiment. Either the man was eccentric, or he really was a wizard of some sort.
It was easy to have Lockheed follow her in the air. He was good at keeping others from noticing him.
She'd left the door open, a little, when she came in. So the nudge against her knee hadn't distracted her. She'd simply ignored it and gotten on with replacing the motherboard--after the second time, she'd simply started bringing one with her. There'd been one attempt at finding a way to ground whatever electrical energy was being zapped at the computer, but it hadn't been successful.
"Is that a dragon?" Dresden sounded a little surprised. "Because if it is, can you please tell it not to eat my rug?"
"Lockheed doesn't eat rugs," she replied, finishing the repair and snapping the cord back into place. "Let's see if this works."
"Now he's glaring at me."
"He does that, sometimes." The computer booted up fine, so Kitty shut it down and carefully put the case back together, then stretched. She glanced over to find Dresden sitting on his couch, staring in fascination as Lockheed flipped through a magazine, occasionally making amused noises.
"So... you have a pet dragon?"
"It's a thing." Kitty got up and moved to the chair opposite Dresden. "So," she said, tone pleasant, "You're a wizard."
"Yeah. I said that before."
She sighed, "I think you're shorting the computer out because of magic leakage, but I'm going to have to call a friend to double-check. If I'm right, I can probably fix your problem permanently."
"'K." He eyed her, "You're ok with this?"
"Why shouldn't I be?" She leaned forward and poked Lockheed, "No burning the pictures."
He made a disgruntled sound and dropped the magazine. She got a look at it, and snorted, "Even if it's Playboy."
"No burning that, please."
Grabbing it, she flipped to the cover, "Damn. Not the Tricia Helfer issue." She tossed it back and stood. "I'll leave you and the magazine alone. Computer's fixed. Again. Try not to fry it again until I've talked to my friend."
"Hey. It's not like I try to kill it dead." He objected.
"No, you just breathe at it a little too hard." Shaking her head, Kitty packed her kit up and slung it over her shoulder. "See you in three weeks."
"Or sooner, if you get that answer?"
"Yep. Or sooner. C'mon, Lockheed."
The purple dragon gave Dresden a toothy grin and then scampered over to climb her leg and back, perching on her shoulder.
-=-
Kitty was back in three days, carting a heavier kit than usual. She knocked on the gold-lettered door, expecting Dresden to open it like always. Probably, she reflected, she should have called ahead. But Amanda had said that the spell would be simple enough that even Kitty could cast it, and she really wanted to get it over with.
It wasn't that she disliked Dresden, she just... didn't want to have to fix his poor computer every other week. The poor thing needed a break.
When there was no answer, she shrugged and tried the knob on the off chance he was just somewhere in the back. It turned easily, and she stepped inside, opening her mouth to call for Dresden when a faint scent in the air made her pause.
Letting the door shut, Kitty quietly swung her backpack to the floor and scanned the room, trying to figure out what was up.
A smudge of red on the floor made her move to put a wall to her back. Trying not to look exceedingly stupid, she moved and knelt, finger poking the spot. It came away damp and sticky. A quick whiff made her wrinkle her nose. Blood.
Fuck. And here she was without her superhero costume. Muttering unkind things, Kitty stood and walked silently down the hall, listening.
A faint scraping sound made her pause. It came again, and she could hear someone breathing nearby. The kind of breathing when a person was trying not to be heard.
Kitty put her hand on the wall, considering. Two options. Walk out there blind, kick someone's ass. Two. Phase through the wall, check out the situation, kick someone's ass. A slight grin touched her lips as she started to put her hand into the wall. Logan would be proud of her thinking things through.
Her hand tingled. The nerves sending short bursts of pain up her arm. Gritting her teeth, she yanked her hand free of the wall.
OK. Bad idea, apparently. The wall didn't like her.
Shaking her hand to rid it of the lingering pain, Kitty decided to use Logan's method.
Bull in the china shop, though it was, it might be vaguely effective. She drew in a breath and then calmly walked to the end of the hall and into what had to be the kitchen. One glance took in Dresden, tied to a chair and possibly unconscious, and a tall dark-haired man with a poker in his hand.
Given the soot by Dresden's chair, Kitty was willing to bet that he wasn't just stoking the flames. "Hi." She said, tone bright, "I'm Mr. Dresden's computer technician."
The man's technique was sloppy. He tried to simply brain her with the poker, so Kitty ducked, came up under his guard and slammed her palm into his neck. He choked and she grabbed his still extended arm, turned, jammed her elbow into his solar plexus and them dumped him head-first to the floor. One well-placed kick to the back of his head, and he was out cold.
"Neat." Dresden shifted, making the chair creak. "You do that often?"
"I'm a ninja." She quipped, yanking the man's belt free and tying his hands before turning to deal with Dresden. "This happen often?"
"You could say that." A wince escaped him as she untied his left hand, and she paused to inspect the burn on his forearm. "It's gonna scar, but it shouldn't be too bad while it heals."
"Ah, a doctor, too?"
Grinning, she patted his head. "Nah. Just experience with burns."
"Hey. Thanks for that, by the way."
Kitty stepped back so he could stand and glanced at the man on the floor. "Seemed the least I could do. Especially when he tried to hit me."
A groan came from Dresden and he staggered slightly.
Reaching out, Kitty steadied him with a hand. "Maybe you shouldn't get up?"
"Nah. I should call someone to deal with this." He limped over to the phone and used his right to pick it up, dialing. "Hey, you'll stay to give a report to the cops, right?"
"Sure." Not that she liked the cops, much. But it had been self-defense. With a sigh, Kitty took the chair Dresden had abandoned. "Make some tea while you're up."
"In a second." His finger came up and wagged.
-=-
The police had been a woman by the name of Murphy, who'd taken Kitty's statement with an exasperated air as the assailant was led off in cuffs. Apparently, she and Dresden had some sort of working relationship, which was why he'd called her.
Kitty talked, mug of tea in her hands. The left was still slightly tingly, reacting to the warmth with little sparks of cold. It had worked fine, during the fight, but now she wondered what the hell she'd encountered. Obviously, she was going to have to actually talk to Dresden more. It wasn't that she disliked the man. Far from it. The problem was that he was exactly her type, and she'd sworn off men months ago.
Besides, after letting Wisdom walk out on her, she wasn't particularly keen on men with Pasts.
Once they'd left, she watched Dresden get himself a mug of tea and then sit down across from her. "So." She tilted her head, "How much of what you told the police was true, and how much was prevarication because you can't explain about magic?"
"I don't know. What was magic about the man that attacked me?" Dresden returned, before blowing on his tea.
Point. Kitty narrowed her eyes. "Fine. But answer me this: what the hell kind of wards do you have on your interior walls?"
"Wards? No idea what you're talking about."
A sigh escaped her. "Fine." She stood and walked around the table, and then shoved her hand through his chest.
He yelped, jumping back from her and falling over his chair onto the floor.
Kitty laughed, unable to help herself. It had been a while since something made her laugh quite that hard, but the sight of Harry Dresden, tangled in his chair, and giving her a rather murderous look, totally did it. She leaned against the table and doubled over.
"When you're done laughing, could I get some help here?" He sounded positively cranky.
"Sure." A giggle escaped her, but she was able to restrain herself enough to offer him a hand and hold steady as he scrambled to his feet.
"What the hell was that?"
"I'm a mutant." She looked up at him, laughter suddenly gone. It was a simple statement, but the reaction was generally not a nice one.
"Oh. Is that all." He righted his chair and dropped into it. "You know, I was telling the truth, there aren't any wards on my interior walls."
"Not even that one?" Kitty pointed at the offending slab of plaster.
"Oh. Well, that. Yeah."
Leaning her hip against the table, she raised an eyebrow, "So there is a ward."
"If you put your hand through it..." He trailed off, frowning. "Do that again, now that I'm paying attention."
Chuckling, Kitty slowly put her hand through the table, head tilted as she watched Dresden watch her. "Like that, or do you need me to do it again?"
"No..." He looked at her. "You sure you're not a ghost?"
"Quite sure." Kitty shoved the memory of herself as a ghost far away. "If there's nothing else?"
"Nah." Something suddenly occurred to him, and he blinked at her, "Hang on. Why were you even here?"
"House call." Kitty moved away and headed down the hall, calling over her shoulder, "My friend Amanda suggested a simple grounding spell that should keep the computer safe from future zappings."
"That's great."
"Yeah. I thought so." She crouched and rummaged in the pack, coming out with two candles, the instructions, and her lighter. "Just let me set up...."
"Can I read the instructions?"
Kitty handed him the page, and moved to the computer desk, head tilted to one side as she tried to orient herself. North was... she figured it out, and set the candles down accordingly. "Can I have those back?"
"This won't work."
"Yes it will." Kitty turned to glare at him.
"I'm telling you--"
"Look." She reached out and snagged the page from him, "I trust the source of this with my life. If she says it will work, it will."
He crossed his arms. "Fine. But you'll see."
Rolling her eyes, Kitty turned back and quickly lit the candles as she read the simple verse. Amanda had known her audience when she'd sent the spell. Kitty didn't feel anything go through her, but the candles snuffed out, leaving the scent of burnt sugar in the air. "There."
"Right. That's it."
"That's it." Patting him on the arm, Kitty headed for the door, swinging her backpack up as she passed it. "Try not to crash your processor, and I hope not to see you in three weeks."
"Is that the tech-geek version of 'Call me'?"
"No." She stopped at the door, looking back at him, "That's the tech-geek version of 'don't call me, I'll call you'." With a snort, she let the door swing shut and headed off to work on her homework.
-=-
Three weeks later, Dresden called her.
He'd crashed his processor.
-f-
Fandoms: X-Men comics, Dresden Files (tv version)
Pairings: (if you squint) Kitty/Pete Wisdom, Harry/Tea
Set: X-Men, when Kitty was going to school in Chicago. Dresden, eh, pick.
Length: 2,000+
Rating: 13. vague violence, some language.
Notes: Random joke, expanded. Annoyingly.
Computer Technician Blues
by ALC Punk!
When Kitty Pryde first started taking the odd freelance computer job, she made it a policy to go for the weirdest clients. This meant that every four months, she headed down into the sewers to have a chat with the 'rat' king about how his hardware needed more dry and less water--it was an argument that would never end with him agreeing.
And every third week, she ended up at Harry Dresden's.
"So you're a wizard," she'd said. More for the conversation than because she cared. He seemed like a fairly normal guy, despite the fetish for girl on girl porn. And the tea thing. Kitty had gotten used to tea in England, but Americans didn't tend to drink it so much. Harry? Always offered her a cup. Which more than made up for the fact that he kept killing his computer for no apparent reason.
"Yeah."
Kitty hadn't pressed him for details, far more interested in the electrical damage to his motherboard. It looked like something she'd phased through, actually. She scowled at it and sighed, "I'll need to replace this."
And she had. Five times. It was enough to make her start to get suspicious.
After all, Kitty had met wizards before. Hell, she'd met Merlin, the chess-playing bastard. So she decided to run an experiment. Either the man was eccentric, or he really was a wizard of some sort.
It was easy to have Lockheed follow her in the air. He was good at keeping others from noticing him.
She'd left the door open, a little, when she came in. So the nudge against her knee hadn't distracted her. She'd simply ignored it and gotten on with replacing the motherboard--after the second time, she'd simply started bringing one with her. There'd been one attempt at finding a way to ground whatever electrical energy was being zapped at the computer, but it hadn't been successful.
"Is that a dragon?" Dresden sounded a little surprised. "Because if it is, can you please tell it not to eat my rug?"
"Lockheed doesn't eat rugs," she replied, finishing the repair and snapping the cord back into place. "Let's see if this works."
"Now he's glaring at me."
"He does that, sometimes." The computer booted up fine, so Kitty shut it down and carefully put the case back together, then stretched. She glanced over to find Dresden sitting on his couch, staring in fascination as Lockheed flipped through a magazine, occasionally making amused noises.
"So... you have a pet dragon?"
"It's a thing." Kitty got up and moved to the chair opposite Dresden. "So," she said, tone pleasant, "You're a wizard."
"Yeah. I said that before."
She sighed, "I think you're shorting the computer out because of magic leakage, but I'm going to have to call a friend to double-check. If I'm right, I can probably fix your problem permanently."
"'K." He eyed her, "You're ok with this?"
"Why shouldn't I be?" She leaned forward and poked Lockheed, "No burning the pictures."
He made a disgruntled sound and dropped the magazine. She got a look at it, and snorted, "Even if it's Playboy."
"No burning that, please."
Grabbing it, she flipped to the cover, "Damn. Not the Tricia Helfer issue." She tossed it back and stood. "I'll leave you and the magazine alone. Computer's fixed. Again. Try not to fry it again until I've talked to my friend."
"Hey. It's not like I try to kill it dead." He objected.
"No, you just breathe at it a little too hard." Shaking her head, Kitty packed her kit up and slung it over her shoulder. "See you in three weeks."
"Or sooner, if you get that answer?"
"Yep. Or sooner. C'mon, Lockheed."
The purple dragon gave Dresden a toothy grin and then scampered over to climb her leg and back, perching on her shoulder.
-=-
Kitty was back in three days, carting a heavier kit than usual. She knocked on the gold-lettered door, expecting Dresden to open it like always. Probably, she reflected, she should have called ahead. But Amanda had said that the spell would be simple enough that even Kitty could cast it, and she really wanted to get it over with.
It wasn't that she disliked Dresden, she just... didn't want to have to fix his poor computer every other week. The poor thing needed a break.
When there was no answer, she shrugged and tried the knob on the off chance he was just somewhere in the back. It turned easily, and she stepped inside, opening her mouth to call for Dresden when a faint scent in the air made her pause.
Letting the door shut, Kitty quietly swung her backpack to the floor and scanned the room, trying to figure out what was up.
A smudge of red on the floor made her move to put a wall to her back. Trying not to look exceedingly stupid, she moved and knelt, finger poking the spot. It came away damp and sticky. A quick whiff made her wrinkle her nose. Blood.
Fuck. And here she was without her superhero costume. Muttering unkind things, Kitty stood and walked silently down the hall, listening.
A faint scraping sound made her pause. It came again, and she could hear someone breathing nearby. The kind of breathing when a person was trying not to be heard.
Kitty put her hand on the wall, considering. Two options. Walk out there blind, kick someone's ass. Two. Phase through the wall, check out the situation, kick someone's ass. A slight grin touched her lips as she started to put her hand into the wall. Logan would be proud of her thinking things through.
Her hand tingled. The nerves sending short bursts of pain up her arm. Gritting her teeth, she yanked her hand free of the wall.
OK. Bad idea, apparently. The wall didn't like her.
Shaking her hand to rid it of the lingering pain, Kitty decided to use Logan's method.
Bull in the china shop, though it was, it might be vaguely effective. She drew in a breath and then calmly walked to the end of the hall and into what had to be the kitchen. One glance took in Dresden, tied to a chair and possibly unconscious, and a tall dark-haired man with a poker in his hand.
Given the soot by Dresden's chair, Kitty was willing to bet that he wasn't just stoking the flames. "Hi." She said, tone bright, "I'm Mr. Dresden's computer technician."
The man's technique was sloppy. He tried to simply brain her with the poker, so Kitty ducked, came up under his guard and slammed her palm into his neck. He choked and she grabbed his still extended arm, turned, jammed her elbow into his solar plexus and them dumped him head-first to the floor. One well-placed kick to the back of his head, and he was out cold.
"Neat." Dresden shifted, making the chair creak. "You do that often?"
"I'm a ninja." She quipped, yanking the man's belt free and tying his hands before turning to deal with Dresden. "This happen often?"
"You could say that." A wince escaped him as she untied his left hand, and she paused to inspect the burn on his forearm. "It's gonna scar, but it shouldn't be too bad while it heals."
"Ah, a doctor, too?"
Grinning, she patted his head. "Nah. Just experience with burns."
"Hey. Thanks for that, by the way."
Kitty stepped back so he could stand and glanced at the man on the floor. "Seemed the least I could do. Especially when he tried to hit me."
A groan came from Dresden and he staggered slightly.
Reaching out, Kitty steadied him with a hand. "Maybe you shouldn't get up?"
"Nah. I should call someone to deal with this." He limped over to the phone and used his right to pick it up, dialing. "Hey, you'll stay to give a report to the cops, right?"
"Sure." Not that she liked the cops, much. But it had been self-defense. With a sigh, Kitty took the chair Dresden had abandoned. "Make some tea while you're up."
"In a second." His finger came up and wagged.
-=-
The police had been a woman by the name of Murphy, who'd taken Kitty's statement with an exasperated air as the assailant was led off in cuffs. Apparently, she and Dresden had some sort of working relationship, which was why he'd called her.
Kitty talked, mug of tea in her hands. The left was still slightly tingly, reacting to the warmth with little sparks of cold. It had worked fine, during the fight, but now she wondered what the hell she'd encountered. Obviously, she was going to have to actually talk to Dresden more. It wasn't that she disliked the man. Far from it. The problem was that he was exactly her type, and she'd sworn off men months ago.
Besides, after letting Wisdom walk out on her, she wasn't particularly keen on men with Pasts.
Once they'd left, she watched Dresden get himself a mug of tea and then sit down across from her. "So." She tilted her head, "How much of what you told the police was true, and how much was prevarication because you can't explain about magic?"
"I don't know. What was magic about the man that attacked me?" Dresden returned, before blowing on his tea.
Point. Kitty narrowed her eyes. "Fine. But answer me this: what the hell kind of wards do you have on your interior walls?"
"Wards? No idea what you're talking about."
A sigh escaped her. "Fine." She stood and walked around the table, and then shoved her hand through his chest.
He yelped, jumping back from her and falling over his chair onto the floor.
Kitty laughed, unable to help herself. It had been a while since something made her laugh quite that hard, but the sight of Harry Dresden, tangled in his chair, and giving her a rather murderous look, totally did it. She leaned against the table and doubled over.
"When you're done laughing, could I get some help here?" He sounded positively cranky.
"Sure." A giggle escaped her, but she was able to restrain herself enough to offer him a hand and hold steady as he scrambled to his feet.
"What the hell was that?"
"I'm a mutant." She looked up at him, laughter suddenly gone. It was a simple statement, but the reaction was generally not a nice one.
"Oh. Is that all." He righted his chair and dropped into it. "You know, I was telling the truth, there aren't any wards on my interior walls."
"Not even that one?" Kitty pointed at the offending slab of plaster.
"Oh. Well, that. Yeah."
Leaning her hip against the table, she raised an eyebrow, "So there is a ward."
"If you put your hand through it..." He trailed off, frowning. "Do that again, now that I'm paying attention."
Chuckling, Kitty slowly put her hand through the table, head tilted as she watched Dresden watch her. "Like that, or do you need me to do it again?"
"No..." He looked at her. "You sure you're not a ghost?"
"Quite sure." Kitty shoved the memory of herself as a ghost far away. "If there's nothing else?"
"Nah." Something suddenly occurred to him, and he blinked at her, "Hang on. Why were you even here?"
"House call." Kitty moved away and headed down the hall, calling over her shoulder, "My friend Amanda suggested a simple grounding spell that should keep the computer safe from future zappings."
"That's great."
"Yeah. I thought so." She crouched and rummaged in the pack, coming out with two candles, the instructions, and her lighter. "Just let me set up...."
"Can I read the instructions?"
Kitty handed him the page, and moved to the computer desk, head tilted to one side as she tried to orient herself. North was... she figured it out, and set the candles down accordingly. "Can I have those back?"
"This won't work."
"Yes it will." Kitty turned to glare at him.
"I'm telling you--"
"Look." She reached out and snagged the page from him, "I trust the source of this with my life. If she says it will work, it will."
He crossed his arms. "Fine. But you'll see."
Rolling her eyes, Kitty turned back and quickly lit the candles as she read the simple verse. Amanda had known her audience when she'd sent the spell. Kitty didn't feel anything go through her, but the candles snuffed out, leaving the scent of burnt sugar in the air. "There."
"Right. That's it."
"That's it." Patting him on the arm, Kitty headed for the door, swinging her backpack up as she passed it. "Try not to crash your processor, and I hope not to see you in three weeks."
"Is that the tech-geek version of 'Call me'?"
"No." She stopped at the door, looking back at him, "That's the tech-geek version of 'don't call me, I'll call you'." With a snort, she let the door swing shut and headed off to work on her homework.
-=-
Three weeks later, Dresden called her.
He'd crashed his processor.
-f-
no subject
That right there is a thing of beauty.
no subject
You should TOTALLY write a sequel where Kitty has to call Murphy. Or Murphy shows up at her bar for... whatever reason. I think Murph and Kitty could do some serious damage and that MAKES ME HAPPY.
However, this makes me extremely happy in and of its own right because. HARRY! Ahahaah, oh, bless.
no subject
I... have two sequels now. Murphy visits the bar (I have to go find that stupid Unlimited or whatever now, because I don't remember the name of the bar!) And Dylan makes an appearance (hooray for RP canon that can be swiped).
As does Bob.
*snuggles and glees*
Thank you. =)
no subject
*runs around in a happy circle*
no subject
But no Bob. *woes mildly, because the glee more than makes up for the woe*
no subject
*g*
Thank you!
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject