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Some of those Five Things... thingies
I apologize. I don't remember who all of these are for. I only remember the last, and that this one was for ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-syndicated.gif)
hyare (plus, I am too lazy)
Five ways how Zack Addy will never finish his dissertation
1. Brennan thinks she should be used to this. Cam had offered, but she'd refused. There was something personal in this, although the other pathologist was watching her, letting her gather herself.
Of course, it's not supposed to be him. Not supposed to be someone she knew (her mother had been bad enough, and she hadn't known until it was too late--)
Her thoughts run together and she shoves them away solidly. Angry with herself for her distraction.
Angry with the world for creating such dangers.
Angry with Zack, because she knows he was almost done with his thesis. She'd even been going to wear a dress to see him get his diploma.
She pushes, boxes, and wonders for an instant if Booth would tell her she's too controlled before flipping on the recorder. "Subject is a male caucasian, with..."
2. "Too. Much. Pressure."
Hodgins rolls his eyes, tosses the ball of paper at Zack and hits him in the head, "He shoots, he score!"
"Oh, you are so goin' down, man."
Fighting in the workroom is prohibited, but they do it anyway. Later, Hodgins remembers when he heard the crack of Zack's skull against the table. But it wasn't until the kid's speech slurred that he really noticed.
By the time they drilled a hole in his head to relieve the pressure, it was too late for his brain to recover.
3. Her name is Maya, and she has this smile that just gets under his skin.
And it's a smile that distracts him from noticing the little things. The things that made Angela give her the cold shoulder, and Hodgins only hit on her once, and Dr. Brennan.... Well, Dr. Brennan hadn't liked her, but Dr. Brennan didn't like anyone as a general rule.
He should have realized that Agent Booth didn't like her, either. But they'd only met that one time, for a brief ten seconds.
So, yeah, it was the little things he missed, his computer being on when he'd turned it off. The way she read his notes avidly, and asked questions, getting him to expand the theory while she just drank it all up. And the sleepy mumbles when he was coming awake, his words drifting from her unconscious mind.
He'd just thought it was cute.
Until she told him it was over and disappeared.
Two days later, his dissertation is a published paper belonging to one graduate student, Maya Tamblyn. His notes were gone, his copies and backups and files, everything was gone.
Zack had no case with which to prove her the thief.
4. Ten years. Zack doesn't really remember where the time went. He thinks there was sometime when he should have pushed, and didn't. But he still smiles when they give him his plaque, holds it up and tries to feel proud.
He supposes he is.
But it's a hard step down from Dr. Addy to Assistant Manager Zack, with ten years' service to Wal-Mart under his belt.
5. Dr. Brennan never actually says anything as he packs the last of his stuff, but she doesn't have to. Zack's mentally saying everything she's thinking. Didn't try hard enough, didn't do enough, failure. Failure could be tattooed all over his ass.
He gave up worrying about his dissertation, and he focused on the cases they dealt in. The minutiae of bones had sucked him in too deep. And then it was too late, and now someone else was getting his job and he was out on his ass.
An education, wasted.
The worst was not knowing how to defend himself, how to apologize.
He left without saying goodbye.
And to make up for that depression, here's some silly...
Five things Booth was surprised to find while looking in Brennan's purse/bag.
1. Lipstick. Red lipstick. Booth stared at it a little puzzled. Hell, did Brennan even know how to wear lipstick? She seemed to forget chapstick, half the time. And he was so not looking at her lips to determine this. Really, it was just a random sample when she was starting to bore him and he noticed things, like the shape of her mouth.
Really, she'd look good in red.
2. His card. There's nothing flowery written on it, but it isn't in her wallet, and he knows she has his number in her phone. So why keep his card in her purse?
3. A cross-stitch kit. It's half-finished, and looks like crap, but he'd never thought that Brennan would do anything like counted cross-stitch, much less a flower.
4. Condoms. Actually, he's less surprised by finding them than he is by the fact that they're obviously recent, and one packet's been ripped off. If not more. He's not sure he wants to find out about the more. (if he'd asked, Brennan would have explained about the microphone that needed some sort of plastic covering, it being a third-world country, and not having anything else)
5. A perfume stick. It's not that she doesn't smell nice, which she does except when there are bodies and trash and blood--ok, so she smells nice, the things around her don't. But she doesn't smell like the perfume, she smells like Brennan, skin, soap, the onions she had with lunch and that slight acidic chemical smell he was getting used to.
Maybe he should stop hanging around, looking at dead bodies.
Five times Sisko almost blew up the wormhole.
1. "The only way to stop the daleks--"
"Yes, I know." He interrupts, because the man has to be insane, even if he's making sense. "But you don't belong here."
"I never belong anywhere," the man snaps.
The plan goes off with a thousand hitches, and Ben wonders if Jake will forgive him two seconds before time rolls backwards. He wakes up clutching a baseball with a scrawled note telling him not to worry about anything. And he wonders what it means, then forgets when his son demands breakfast.
2. They're drunk. They're drunk, and O'Brien is laughing as he shows them his calculations for how to destroy the wormhole. And Ben thinks about it for an instant--no wormhole, no need for him to be here, still prodding the old scars and tugging at wounds that would never heal.
The O'Brien throws a bean bag at him, and Kira (Kira, who's as drunk as they are and giggly, and probably going to kill them both in the morning) starts telling the most salacious joke she can come up with involving a priest, a pilot and a mathematician.
Ben forgets his plans in his laughter.
3. Five seconds is all it would take, and there would be no threat from the Dominion. No galaxy-wide war to end all wars.
Rationally, he should do it.
Irrationally, he thinks he's too afraid of a life without wonder.
4. It's hopeless. He feels a little bit more of his soul slipping away every day. The war isn't going to end, and the lies he has to tell to get them allies are grinding him beneath their heel.
Such a simple idea, a little bomb, a little explosion, and it would all be over.
And so would his career.
Jake would have the stigma of being his son follow him around, and Kasidy would never understand. So he lets the idea go, and barters a little more of his soul to get them more weapons.
5. Julian smiles at him, avoids his gaze and pronounces him fit to return to command. Even Kira's smile is a bit strange when she watches him. And Jadzia is still on Bajor cleaning up the damage.
No one will explain until O'Brien lets it slip.
And then Ben has to decide which is worse: blowing up the wormhole deliberately, or almost doing it because an alien entity has taken over your mind.
Five ice cream flavours Cable simply cannot live without
1. Tutti Fruiti. He used to cadge a cone from a little ice cream cart on the corner of Central Park when he was first studying the time line. The man who owned the cart thought he was homeless; Nate never told him about the penthouse suite and the armory in the basement.
2. Chocolate. Jean once told him it was Scott's favorite. He thinks he's a bit of a sentimental idiot for liking it. Sometimes, he wishes he had memories of getting a cone with his dad. Both of them laughing and joking, the ice cream melting in the warm summer sunlight.
3. Cheap strawberry. It reminds him that life is cheap. He only eats it when he's been stupid. Or tried to take over the world.
4. Tiramisu. It has coffee-flavoring and fudge. He figures that's more than enough said.
5. Vanilla. Tabitha used to mock him for eating vanilla, but he'd once told Dom he couldn't taste anything else anymore. She snorted and suggested he try wearing the ice cream. He was sore for days after the amount of sex the idea caused.
(This one I know. It's for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nique Five places Nate and Dom tried to fuck but got interrupted.
1. There was a convenient tree in the Yucatan. There were lots of convenient trees, really, but Domino had chosen a specific one after pouncing him and claiming that the jungle was a turn-on. Nate had protested because of the mosquitos, but she was very persuasive.
Of course, for Nate, Dom half-clothed and holding a gun was guaranteed to make him horny.
Which meant that, despite his complaints about his ass being too exposed, he was bruising his back and shoulders against the tree a few minutes later. Dom was straddling him, legs around his waist, one hand hanging onto a branch above her head as she attacked his mouth.
Nate was all for that, especially the part where she'd left her pants behind on the ground.
Unfortunately, Hammer's sudden call to action left him with the need to think of things like cold showers, cold metal (which reminded him of Dom and guns, so he hastily substituted metal office buildings), and KP duty.
Later, Nathan rather wished he'd told Hammer to wait.
2. It wasn't Domino's fault Nathan couldn't keep quiet on top of the Sears' tower.
Well, it might have been. He was, sadly, in no condition to keep the guards from noticing them. It was just as well they were interrupted, there were kids not that far away.
Nathan wasn't into educating them that young about sex.
3. It was Remy's fault Domino had decided to desecrate the roof. After all, the place was just so, well, emo, as Tabitha would have put it. It deserved to have sex invoked upon it. And it was a nice, big roof. Lots of room for rolling around.
It was not Domino's fault that Nate tipped them over the edge and they fell ten feet before he grabbed a window ledge.
4. Nate hadn't paid much attention to their surroundings, once Corsair and his people had wandered off. He'd made a few remarks to Domino about the stargate being some sort of religious artefact, and the next he knew, she was making crude suggestions for its use.
And, well, he had to admit that the idea of being the first people to have sex on the steps of the stargate had seemed like a good idea at the time--at least that was, until it started spinning.
When the vortex burst into being over their heads, Nate was really glad he'd talked her out of attempting it further up.
Still, it was kind of embarrassing to look up from kissing her neck to find a robot trundling out above them, video camera taking in exactly what they were doing.
It certainly gave Stargate Command something to talk about for a few days.
5. Okay, so maybe Nathan should have thought it through before he let Dom knock him onto his back on the dock. After all, he should have remembered that his parents were nearby before Jean appeared on the edge of the lake and told them to get a room.
hyare (plus, I am too lazy)Five ways how Zack Addy will never finish his dissertation
1. Brennan thinks she should be used to this. Cam had offered, but she'd refused. There was something personal in this, although the other pathologist was watching her, letting her gather herself.
Of course, it's not supposed to be him. Not supposed to be someone she knew (her mother had been bad enough, and she hadn't known until it was too late--)
Her thoughts run together and she shoves them away solidly. Angry with herself for her distraction.
Angry with the world for creating such dangers.
Angry with Zack, because she knows he was almost done with his thesis. She'd even been going to wear a dress to see him get his diploma.
She pushes, boxes, and wonders for an instant if Booth would tell her she's too controlled before flipping on the recorder. "Subject is a male caucasian, with..."
2. "Too. Much. Pressure."
Hodgins rolls his eyes, tosses the ball of paper at Zack and hits him in the head, "He shoots, he score!"
"Oh, you are so goin' down, man."
Fighting in the workroom is prohibited, but they do it anyway. Later, Hodgins remembers when he heard the crack of Zack's skull against the table. But it wasn't until the kid's speech slurred that he really noticed.
By the time they drilled a hole in his head to relieve the pressure, it was too late for his brain to recover.
3. Her name is Maya, and she has this smile that just gets under his skin.
And it's a smile that distracts him from noticing the little things. The things that made Angela give her the cold shoulder, and Hodgins only hit on her once, and Dr. Brennan.... Well, Dr. Brennan hadn't liked her, but Dr. Brennan didn't like anyone as a general rule.
He should have realized that Agent Booth didn't like her, either. But they'd only met that one time, for a brief ten seconds.
So, yeah, it was the little things he missed, his computer being on when he'd turned it off. The way she read his notes avidly, and asked questions, getting him to expand the theory while she just drank it all up. And the sleepy mumbles when he was coming awake, his words drifting from her unconscious mind.
He'd just thought it was cute.
Until she told him it was over and disappeared.
Two days later, his dissertation is a published paper belonging to one graduate student, Maya Tamblyn. His notes were gone, his copies and backups and files, everything was gone.
Zack had no case with which to prove her the thief.
4. Ten years. Zack doesn't really remember where the time went. He thinks there was sometime when he should have pushed, and didn't. But he still smiles when they give him his plaque, holds it up and tries to feel proud.
He supposes he is.
But it's a hard step down from Dr. Addy to Assistant Manager Zack, with ten years' service to Wal-Mart under his belt.
5. Dr. Brennan never actually says anything as he packs the last of his stuff, but she doesn't have to. Zack's mentally saying everything she's thinking. Didn't try hard enough, didn't do enough, failure. Failure could be tattooed all over his ass.
He gave up worrying about his dissertation, and he focused on the cases they dealt in. The minutiae of bones had sucked him in too deep. And then it was too late, and now someone else was getting his job and he was out on his ass.
An education, wasted.
The worst was not knowing how to defend himself, how to apologize.
He left without saying goodbye.
And to make up for that depression, here's some silly...
Five things Booth was surprised to find while looking in Brennan's purse/bag.
1. Lipstick. Red lipstick. Booth stared at it a little puzzled. Hell, did Brennan even know how to wear lipstick? She seemed to forget chapstick, half the time. And he was so not looking at her lips to determine this. Really, it was just a random sample when she was starting to bore him and he noticed things, like the shape of her mouth.
Really, she'd look good in red.
2. His card. There's nothing flowery written on it, but it isn't in her wallet, and he knows she has his number in her phone. So why keep his card in her purse?
3. A cross-stitch kit. It's half-finished, and looks like crap, but he'd never thought that Brennan would do anything like counted cross-stitch, much less a flower.
4. Condoms. Actually, he's less surprised by finding them than he is by the fact that they're obviously recent, and one packet's been ripped off. If not more. He's not sure he wants to find out about the more. (if he'd asked, Brennan would have explained about the microphone that needed some sort of plastic covering, it being a third-world country, and not having anything else)
5. A perfume stick. It's not that she doesn't smell nice, which she does except when there are bodies and trash and blood--ok, so she smells nice, the things around her don't. But she doesn't smell like the perfume, she smells like Brennan, skin, soap, the onions she had with lunch and that slight acidic chemical smell he was getting used to.
Maybe he should stop hanging around, looking at dead bodies.
Five times Sisko almost blew up the wormhole.
1. "The only way to stop the daleks--"
"Yes, I know." He interrupts, because the man has to be insane, even if he's making sense. "But you don't belong here."
"I never belong anywhere," the man snaps.
The plan goes off with a thousand hitches, and Ben wonders if Jake will forgive him two seconds before time rolls backwards. He wakes up clutching a baseball with a scrawled note telling him not to worry about anything. And he wonders what it means, then forgets when his son demands breakfast.
2. They're drunk. They're drunk, and O'Brien is laughing as he shows them his calculations for how to destroy the wormhole. And Ben thinks about it for an instant--no wormhole, no need for him to be here, still prodding the old scars and tugging at wounds that would never heal.
The O'Brien throws a bean bag at him, and Kira (Kira, who's as drunk as they are and giggly, and probably going to kill them both in the morning) starts telling the most salacious joke she can come up with involving a priest, a pilot and a mathematician.
Ben forgets his plans in his laughter.
3. Five seconds is all it would take, and there would be no threat from the Dominion. No galaxy-wide war to end all wars.
Rationally, he should do it.
Irrationally, he thinks he's too afraid of a life without wonder.
4. It's hopeless. He feels a little bit more of his soul slipping away every day. The war isn't going to end, and the lies he has to tell to get them allies are grinding him beneath their heel.
Such a simple idea, a little bomb, a little explosion, and it would all be over.
And so would his career.
Jake would have the stigma of being his son follow him around, and Kasidy would never understand. So he lets the idea go, and barters a little more of his soul to get them more weapons.
5. Julian smiles at him, avoids his gaze and pronounces him fit to return to command. Even Kira's smile is a bit strange when she watches him. And Jadzia is still on Bajor cleaning up the damage.
No one will explain until O'Brien lets it slip.
And then Ben has to decide which is worse: blowing up the wormhole deliberately, or almost doing it because an alien entity has taken over your mind.
Five ice cream flavours Cable simply cannot live without
1. Tutti Fruiti. He used to cadge a cone from a little ice cream cart on the corner of Central Park when he was first studying the time line. The man who owned the cart thought he was homeless; Nate never told him about the penthouse suite and the armory in the basement.
2. Chocolate. Jean once told him it was Scott's favorite. He thinks he's a bit of a sentimental idiot for liking it. Sometimes, he wishes he had memories of getting a cone with his dad. Both of them laughing and joking, the ice cream melting in the warm summer sunlight.
3. Cheap strawberry. It reminds him that life is cheap. He only eats it when he's been stupid. Or tried to take over the world.
4. Tiramisu. It has coffee-flavoring and fudge. He figures that's more than enough said.
5. Vanilla. Tabitha used to mock him for eating vanilla, but he'd once told Dom he couldn't taste anything else anymore. She snorted and suggested he try wearing the ice cream. He was sore for days after the amount of sex the idea caused.
(This one I know. It's for
nique Five places Nate and Dom tried to fuck but got interrupted.1. There was a convenient tree in the Yucatan. There were lots of convenient trees, really, but Domino had chosen a specific one after pouncing him and claiming that the jungle was a turn-on. Nate had protested because of the mosquitos, but she was very persuasive.
Of course, for Nate, Dom half-clothed and holding a gun was guaranteed to make him horny.
Which meant that, despite his complaints about his ass being too exposed, he was bruising his back and shoulders against the tree a few minutes later. Dom was straddling him, legs around his waist, one hand hanging onto a branch above her head as she attacked his mouth.
Nate was all for that, especially the part where she'd left her pants behind on the ground.
Unfortunately, Hammer's sudden call to action left him with the need to think of things like cold showers, cold metal (which reminded him of Dom and guns, so he hastily substituted metal office buildings), and KP duty.
Later, Nathan rather wished he'd told Hammer to wait.
2. It wasn't Domino's fault Nathan couldn't keep quiet on top of the Sears' tower.
Well, it might have been. He was, sadly, in no condition to keep the guards from noticing them. It was just as well they were interrupted, there were kids not that far away.
Nathan wasn't into educating them that young about sex.
3. It was Remy's fault Domino had decided to desecrate the roof. After all, the place was just so, well, emo, as Tabitha would have put it. It deserved to have sex invoked upon it. And it was a nice, big roof. Lots of room for rolling around.
It was not Domino's fault that Nate tipped them over the edge and they fell ten feet before he grabbed a window ledge.
4. Nate hadn't paid much attention to their surroundings, once Corsair and his people had wandered off. He'd made a few remarks to Domino about the stargate being some sort of religious artefact, and the next he knew, she was making crude suggestions for its use.
And, well, he had to admit that the idea of being the first people to have sex on the steps of the stargate had seemed like a good idea at the time--at least that was, until it started spinning.
When the vortex burst into being over their heads, Nate was really glad he'd talked her out of attempting it further up.
Still, it was kind of embarrassing to look up from kissing her neck to find a robot trundling out above them, video camera taking in exactly what they were doing.
It certainly gave Stargate Command something to talk about for a few days.
5. Okay, so maybe Nathan should have thought it through before he let Dom knock him onto his back on the dock. After all, he should have remembered that his parents were nearby before Jean appeared on the edge of the lake and told them to get a room.