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Fic: newBSG, Fractured Sun, part two.
"Kara."
The hand on her shoulder is gentle. She sucks in a breath and wakes, wincing. The smell of sex hits her, followed by the kink in her neck and the taste in her mouth that says she's going to lose dinner. Not that she remembers having dinner. She's still slumped in the pilots' briefing room. She wonders when the cockpit footage finally shut off.
"Kara."
It occurs to her as Helo drags her upright, arms gentle, that this could be a year ago. Just another night on Galactica, with Helo having to drag Starbuck back to her rack after another quick frak with a faceless marine. They're not faceless anymore. The thought makes her want to cry.
A year ago, she didn't know Samuel Anders.
"C'mon, Starbuck." He's moving them, competent as always. Helo got good at this during their two-year stint as the screw-up and the martyr of Galactica.
A giggle escapes her.
"Stop that, or the shower's going to be cold."
She stops as abruptly as she started, and finally opens her eyes to look at him. "Just like old times?"
"Yeah." He avoids her eyes, though, even as he shifts her and continues their progress down the corridor. "Just like old times," he repeats, tone bland.
The strangeness almost stops her, but he said the magic words about water and soap, and she can feel her skin trying to crawl off her body. Her stomach is still considering the option of climbing its way out, too.
Routine settles in when they reach the showers. Helo props her up, finds soap. Finally starts helping her strip--because if he didn't start, she'd forget and walk in fully-clothed. He learned that one the hard way, and she cursed for hours about getting her flight suit wet. So had the quartermaster, and Kara had worn slightly moldy leather for a week before the pilots all got sick of it and descended on the poor man en masse to claim Starbuck a new flight suit.
He leaves her to the rest of her clothes. Once started, she generally makes it all the way to bare skin. Although there was that time Boomer had to remind her about her socks.
Boomer. She doesn't flinch, thinking about her ex-friend.
A few minutes later, she's got soap in one hand, and a determination not to lose the little she has in her stomach as she makes her way into the showers.
It's not until she's leaning against the tiles, water washing the soap off, that she wonders what his problem is.
The thought of asking him and finding out someone else has lost their faith in her is a little too much.
A few minutes of heat and then the water slides to cold. Cursing, she spins the taps off and drags herself out of the shower. A moment to re-orient her pounding skull with the layout of the room and she heads for the front.
Once there, she tries to remember what comes next.
Helo walks back in, pile of laundry in his arms.
"Brought you a towel."
"Comfy." She yanks it from his hand and begins toweling, almost scraping at her skin.
He doesn't bother looking at her. He's practiced at not noticing naked Kara Thrace. It makes her a little sad that his eyes don't flicker anymore.
It's finally too much, and even hungover and dead tired, she's ready to kick something. "What?"
"Nothing."
"Don't give me that bullshit."
He looks at her, really looks at her, and something flickers in his eyes before he shifts. Away, as if he's afraid she'll hit him. "I saw you leaving his quarters, Kara."
No need to ask which 'he' is being referred to. Lee doesn't have his own room. She glares. "My business, Helo."
"Yeah. Your business."
And it hurts that he is condemning her. She grits her teeth and finishes dressing, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of knowing. He's just one more person unimpressed with her frakking up. Well, frak him. But it's Helo, and she doesn't stalk out and leave him standing there.
"Kara, what I don't get is why." He sounds confused, "Why him?"
"Because you're off-limits!" She explodes, unable to keep the words back. "I needed--" Wanting to hurt back, to strip some of his calm from him, she adds, "I talked to her the other day, you know. Your little Cylon girlfriend. She still thinks we'll forget she's not human."
Maybe the tone of her voice betrays her, but he doesn't rise to the bait, instead, he sighs. "Kara...."
"Frak you, Karl. Just--"
"Hey." His hands close on her shoulders and he shakes her a little. "This is me, Starbuck. Remember?"
"Yeah." She slumps, almost lets herself lean against him. He carefully wraps his arms around her, as if he knows this is a fleeting thing. That in five seconds she'll be Starbuck again and hugging Starbuck isn't allowed.
He pulls back first. "Now let's get you to bed."
"Yeah." Feeling numb again and ready to fall over, she lets him wrap an arm around her waist and lead her back to quarters. "I'm an ass."
"Yup."
She sighs, almost regrets it as her stomach twinges. Then exhaustion shoves the nausea out of the way. "You're an ass, too."
"Maybe. But I'm a nice ass who's going to put you to bed."
Kara decides sticking her tongue out at him is too much effort and settles for tipping her head to the side and thunking him with it. Her ears ring a little, and she realizes that wasn't too bright. But then, she never is.
"In you go."
Staring at her rack, Kara contemplates refusing, falling over, and sleeping on the floor.
But Helo is very well-versed in putting a drunk Starbuck into bed, and shortly, that's where she is. "Sorry 'bout the Cylon crack." she mumbles as the world closes in.
"No you're not."
He's right. But she's not awake enough to explain the levels and subtleties of her apology. Besides. Starbuck doesn't do subtle.
-f-
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I love your prose in this. It's very detached, very appropriate.
Thank you for sharing! :)
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There have been, iirc, three fics with Kara/Adama. Or two. Hrm. One took place right after Zak, the other was a more recent bit. There was one about dreams, too, I think.
*glees*
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Helo/Starbuck friendship always fascinates me and you did a fantastic job portraying the complexities here.
But it's Helo, and she doesn't stalk out and leave him standing there.
Highlights how their relationship is different from the one between Lee/Kara.
"Kara, what I don't get is why." He sounds confused, "Why him?"
This is really interesting because Helo essentially asks the same question Lee did in KLG but here she tells him the truth because they can be honest with each other. I guess the one thing that confounds me a bit is why Helo asked her about it at all? Would he have given her what she needed if she asked him? Was he upset that she didn't go to him?
"Because you're off-limits!" She explodes, unable to keep the words back. "I needed--"
Kara respects Helo's feelings for Sharon enough that she doesn't see him as a viable option for a frak even though she was in need. I think that says a lot about the depth of the friendship and that underneath all the bravado, Kara really has a soft heart.
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This is really interesting because Helo essentially asks the same question Lee did in KLG but here she tells him the truth because they can be honest with each other.
I think part of that is because Kara and Lee's relationship is far more complex than what she has with Helo. There's more layers. And I may be going with my own popular theory that she and Helo have had sex before. (my theory runs something like: when Kara's too drunk to know what the hell she's doing, Helo keeps her from ending up with a knife in her back)
He's disturbed. And probably slightly confused, but again, it's Kara. So, less with the confusion and more with the taking her as she comes.
I also think Kara was looking for some way to... punish isn't the exact word, but something to make the situation even worse. (getting drunk alone, missing a CAP -- leaving aside the Anders angst, I think part of Scar was Kara kicking herself for letting her kids die)
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Well, I subscribe to the theory myself - I'd like to think of it as fanon!
I also think Kara was looking for some way to... punish isn't the exact word, but something to make the situation even worse. (getting drunk alone, missing a CAP -- leaving aside the Anders angst, I think part of Scar was Kara kicking herself for letting her kids die)
Hm.. penance, atonement?? Sleeping with the father of your dead fiance who is also the father of the guy you almost frakked just 1/2 hour ago? Yah, that's definately adding oil to fire.
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Kara likes adding oil to the fire.
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I love Kara and Helo together. This is good. I just picture the disappointed look Helo shoots at her and I like the way she doesn't just brush him off. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who thought that maybe she made it back to her rack after that bender with Helo's help. And I'm glad Kara thinks enough of Helo to offer the apology for the Cylon crack, even though they both know she doesn't mean it. :)
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Thank you =)
Now if we can just have more Kara and Helo and Sharon interaction... *tries not to whine*
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