The only fic I've ever read where a character death warning mattered was a fic that involved only one character. It was thus rather obvious who was going to die.

I understand your point about people whining. Of COURSE writers aren't being malicious, but, at the same time, if you don't warn, and you write something potentially upsettting, you're lining yourself up for those sorts of reviews.

It can get out of hand. Generally, I warn for things that are generally accepted as requiring warning: non-con, character death, abuse, that sort of thing. I don't warn for slash or BDSM, but my summaries usually cover if either are involved.

You don't have to listen, of course. Its just my opinion.