okay, now I'm feeling stupid.

[lyssie]

But need to be enlightened.

Someone please explain to me why all m/f relationships are 'unequal'. I really,really don't get this statement.

Is it that the men always think the woman is a fragile flower?

Or is it that only one is on top all of the time, or what?

Because, I don't get it at all.

(and furthermore, don't get why f/f or m/m are 'equal' if m/f isn't.)

Comments

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

Apparently it;s all about penetration. Oh, and sexism, for men hate women and oppress them. With penetration.

Now, you may think that the way to attack m/f sexism it to write something with men and women in an equal relationship. But you'd be wrong. The thing to do is to write about those woman-hating, oppressive men fucking each other omg!

And while I've been told that The Race Card is a bad thing, it allows an analogy most times. So. It's like saying "white/black relationships are bad, because white people are racist. so we should only write about white people."

[redstarrobot.livejournal.com]

While identifying the exception in that analogy as being that male-female relationships make up about 85-90% of relationships and interracial relationships make up about 20% of relationships, I'd say that's sort of where I start to scratch my head about the logic of it all... it's not so much a subversion of gender roles, as an implicit acceptance and avoidance of discussing them, really.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

I'm surprised it's as much as 20%, actually.


Anyway, yeah... I don't get how that's Challenging Gender Roles.

[redstarrobot.livejournal.com]

It may not be, but I live in an urban area, so even 20% felt kinda low. But there are minority groups that have very high out-marriage rates - it's something like 70% for Japanese and Native Americans here. In all likelihood, it's something like 10-15%, roughly on par with statistical rates of homosexuality in a population. So it may be a bit more like saying "Writing two white people together is racist and accepting white privilege, so all fic couples should be interracial" that the reverse.

Representing higher/more accurate rates of homosexuality and bisexuality in society, or getting into gender identity (although this rarely seems to be a concern of fic writers; I've never heard anyone say this was why they write X or Y), now that it may be doing. But that's a far cry from challenging gender roles, as you say. It just seems to reinforce them to me - "You can't put a man and a woman in a relationship, it's Inevitable! that she'll be oppressed".

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

Word. I don't think anyone's ever challenged anything by removing it entirely while, err, still going with the old formula with some new-looking pieces.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

So... I should stop writing Sam/Jack fic where they're both equal, and she wears him out...

sigh.

I feel so stodgy.

[redstarrobot.livejournal.com]

The real problem, as nos pointed out, is that they're both white. Start throwing Teal'c into the mix. Teal'c/Sam? ;)

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

Yes. You're just reinforcing traditional stereotypes.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*cries*

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

KEEP REINFORCING THEM! OMG! PLEASE! KEEP WRITING! OMG! :CLINGS: