okay, now I'm feeling stupid.

[lyssie]

But need to be enlightened.

Someone please explain to me why all m/f relationships are 'unequal'. I really,really don't get this statement.

Is it that the men always think the woman is a fragile flower?

Or is it that only one is on top all of the time, or what?

Because, I don't get it at all.

(and furthermore, don't get why f/f or m/m are 'equal' if m/f isn't.)

Comments

[stexgirl2000.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'll give it a shot. There is the arguement by some that slash is more egalitarian and allows more freedom in writing stories because in Real Life society favors males over females and holds us all to strict gender roles. Therefore, because of that it is more difficult (or in the view of some people--not all!--impossible) for men and women being true equals in a relationship and that transfers itself to male-female stories in fanfic.

Therefore by writing slash, the writers are being subversive and by-pass all the gender roll expectations. Two men, being that they are not bound by traditional male/female gender expectations, are thus considered to equal partners in the relationship. Feelings and emotional issues can be explored more fully that way.

I suppose this can be applied to female/female slash stories as well.

If I have not explained this clearly or fairly enough, I will gladly stand corrected.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*considers* All right. That makes sense to me. I suspect my problem is I've never seen the relationships I write as unequal.

Hrm.

[redstarrobot.livejournal.com]

What puzzles me is when slash writers write a same-sex couple, and then give them traditional gender roles, making one very femme and one very butch, especially when it's not really in character. Usually it's a case of one man becoming very femmy, once he realizes he's in love. Aside from the out-of-character issues, I'm never sure how that's getting away from traditional gender roles. (Perhaps for the individual man exploring his femme side it is, but in terms of relationship dynamics, it's not.)

I suspect the actual necessary component of writing a relationship that's not bound by traditional gender roles is actually in the mind and intention of the writer, more than it's in the gender of the characters.

[nostalgia-lj.livejournal.com]

But omg one of them has to be "feminised" or it'd be two people of the same sex shagging each other!

[kkglinka.livejournal.com]

*grunt*

[liminalliz.livejournal.com]

And then, of course, the problem with that very good argument is that some slash feminizes one of the men.

But yes, I agree.