lyssie: (Ficbutton stolen from A.j.)
lyssie ([personal profile] lyssie) wrote2005-03-12 05:04 am

untitled S/J porn, Threads.

I rewrote this little scene in Threads, where, uh, there are naked Jack arms...
So. spoilers. maybe. porn. Nos' fault.


The phone was ringing.

General Jack O'Neill dragged himself from sleeping to waking with something approaching sloth. A ringing phone might mean an emergency. And he should answer it, even if he felt like ten kinds of shit that had been mashed with a steamroller.

His pillows were missing.

Where was the god-damned phone? He groped at the bedside table. Nothin'. Then it occurred to him that maybe he'd knocked it off, at some point, and he dropped his arm to grope at the floor. The less movement, the better. Finally, his fingers closed around the plastic handset, and her drew it back to his ear, clicking the talk button with his eyes still closed.

"O'Neill," he mumbled into the receiver.

"Eggs or pancakes?"

For some reason, Jack was having difficulty understanding why Colonel Carter was asking him about breakfast foods. "Huh?"

"Eggs or pancakes?"

Nope. Hadn't made sense the second time, either. He frowned, "What?"

"For breakfast, Jack."

It suddenly occurred to him that he was hearing her in stereo. And she'd called him by his first name. That had to be a fluke.

He still couldn't move all that fast as he slowly turned and stared at the woman propped against his missing pillows, her cell phone to her ear. "Carter."

A smirk dimpled her cheeks, "Jack?"

"I'll have to call you back," he said, moving ever so carefully, "I'm having a wet dream about a hot blonde in my bed."

"You sound more awake now, sir. I guess I'll let you go."

Jack dropped his phone and dove, tackling her. They tumbled sideways off the bed and landed on the floor with a thump.

"Ow."

"That..." He winced. "Could have gone better."

"Ya think?"

Glaring at the woman sprawled on his chest, Jack said, "Yeah."

"Hrm. Maybe."

Jack frowned, more of the evening coming back to him. There had been... alcohol. No. That had been the night before that. The previous night was a blur until Carter showed up on his doorstep and told him to order a pizza. Huh. And then more blur. And he was sore.

"This..." She suddenly frowned. "Jack?"

"You're here."

"Ye-es."

"I..." His voice froze, and he stared at her for the longest time before reaching up and touching her nose. "You're real."

"Indeed," she replied, eyebrow raising.

"Carter--"

She snorted and began scrambling off of him. "You never answered my question."

"Pancakes."

"Gotcha." She stood and tossed her phone onto the bed. "I'll go--"

His hand grabbed her leg, obviously moving faster than his brain was. "Carter?"

"Jack?"

Again with the calling him by his first name. It was really beginning to freak him the fuck out. "Why are you..."

She blinked down at him, then shrugged, "I got tired of waiting for you to decide."

"Oh." He shifted his grip higher, inching towards her knee. "So..." It occurred to him that there was completely naked Sam Carter. In his bedroom. Jack's hand tightened. "Bed."

"Again?" Her eyebrows went up.

He licked his lips and nodded, beginning to remember more things about the night before. She squeaked, for instance.

"Fine, fine." Sam twitched her leg and climbed onto the bed, then shifted so she could look down at him. "This takes two, General."

"Admiring the view."

"Mhmm."

Jack rolled over and winced.

"Maybe some aspirin would be a better idea."

Than sex with Carter? Jack suddenly decided he wasn't sore, and dragged himself upright before falling onto the bed next to her. "Nope." His hands--which were now, apparently, allowed to touch her--filled themselves with Carter!skin, and he sighed happily.

"Jack."

He considered a moment, then shifted onto his back, grabbed her hips and tugged, "C'mere."

"Wha--" She sighed and followed his insistent directions, straddling his head and staring at him. "Jack, this really isn't--" all of her breath escaped in a gasp as his mouth closed on her. "--necessary."

Mmm. Carter.

Best breakfast ever.

-f-

[identity profile] jemster.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 11:17 am (UTC)(link)
*loves* No, THIS is what should have happened.
ext_18106: (JoRoper - OMC)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
I am tired of Sam being wishywashy and Jack hiding behind his beer. *mutter*

sigh.

[identity profile] ship-recs.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 11:28 am (UTC)(link)
That was lovely.
ext_18106: (JoRoper - OMC)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 07:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. :)

[identity profile] fallenbelle.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 12:15 pm (UTC)(link)
Sigh. I would have paid money to have actually gotten this ending. Once again, you prove to me that you should be working on that show.

*hugs it*

ext_18106: (Kitty Pete java love)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
yeah... They don't need a woman writing the show, they just need us. Dammit. *mutters*

[identity profile] nakedtoes.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 12:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Love the continuation of the squeaking :) Plus, you managed to make the phrase "C'mere" sound even sexier than on the show. *bows down and worships*
ext_18106: (HanLeia - The Kiss)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 07:58 pm (UTC)(link)
*laughs* I blame Ryuu entirely for creating the squeak thing, and Jack is *quite* proud about it. Heheheheh.

Thank you. ;)

[identity profile] karma-aster.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Because he would! I totally believe that Jack is quite capable of making her squeak!
ext_18106: (Sam - I make this look good)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 10:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Very true. *pats Jack, who is still all smug*
anr: (Default)

[personal profile] anr 2005-03-12 03:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Damn, woman. Just how many times are you gonna make me profess my love for you?!

*LOVE*
woodface: (Default)

[personal profile] woodface 2005-03-12 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Just how many times are you gonna make me profess my love for you?!

She's really good at that, isn't she?
anr: (Default)

[personal profile] anr 2005-03-15 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Extremely.
ext_18106: (ripleyhicks - angels)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Erm... Until my brain runs out of ideas? (or I write really horribly?)

*smooches*
anr: (Default)

[personal profile] anr 2005-03-15 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Until my brain runs out of ideas? (or I write really horribly?)

Phew! So I don't have to worry about not-loving you anytime soon. :)
woodface: (Default)

[personal profile] woodface 2005-03-12 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude. Smut! Right there! S8 is porn!!!!

*snuggles*
ext_18106: (HanLeia - The Kiss)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)
*licks icon*

S8 is completely porn. They fuck on the briefing room table, and then in a storage closet, and, and...

erm, *smirk*

I totally do not believe in Pete.
woodface: (wormhole)

[personal profile] woodface 2005-03-12 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Pete? What's that?
ext_18106: (Sam - I make this look good)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 09:53 pm (UTC)(link)
*snickers*

[identity profile] emiwenis.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
ahhhh that's so awesome. perfect XD
ext_18106: (Default)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-12 11:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you. *g*

[identity profile] liminalliz.livejournal.com 2005-03-14 12:04 am (UTC)(link)
*glees contentedly*
ext_18106: (Liz snark Jack saving Sam)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-14 12:41 am (UTC)(link)
*chuckles*

They are so cute and fluffy.

[identity profile] besyd.livejournal.com 2005-03-15 05:10 am (UTC)(link)
I got behind, but I'm catching up. And this is fabulous! So much fun. Just good all the way around.

Nope." His hands--which were now, apparently, allowed to touch her--filled themselves with Carter!skin, and he sighed happily.

Mmm ...

Thank you!
ext_18106: (Kitty Pete java love)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2005-03-15 06:30 am (UTC)(link)
:)

Thank you. *pats Jack, who is all happy right now* =)