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My suspension of belief just DOES NOT stretch that far.
So, I've been reading this SG-1 fic. It has ok characterization, and the occasional moment of snark that works well with the characters. But it has, from the beginning, gnawed away on my ability to read it without mocking it.
I'm taking it point by point, pretty much. This contains vague spoilers for a story called 'Memory'. My brain has blanked out on the author. (and no, me emailing her my objections wouldn't do any good, most likely. And I have no diplomacy)
1. Sam gets captured, Daniel and Teal'c return without her. Jack decides to mount a rescue mission (for some reason, Jacob is there). While he's getting ready, Shanahan calls. Jack for some reason actually tells Pete that Sam's been captured.
2. Pete demands to go on the rescue mission, otherwise he'll expose the SGC. Jack agrees.
Okay. I wanted to deal with these separately.
First of all, Jack has no business telling Pete SHIT about the SGC. Yes, he's had SOME clearance, this does not mean he can be informed of current events (remember Heroes, people? Bregmann wasn't even supposed to be in the GATEROOM for departing teams). So, no, Jack no matter how upset would not tell PETE that Sam was missing. No matter what.
However. If you can jump the mental disconnect hurdle needed for that...
Point two. If Pete threatened that, Jack is perfectly within his rights to say, "Sure, come on base." And then have Pete's ass thrown in a holding cell for TREASON. Hello? He signed a fucking disclosure agreement? This means he can have his ass thrown in jail. And no one will give a shit.
3. Pete goes through the gate, and then can't even fire his police-issued side-arm properly.
Okay. It works for me that Pete would have a little trouble, his first time through the gate. But it's not like he hasn't seen strange shit before -- and once he got over his surprise, he shot Osiris several times! Even if he didn't hit her thanks to the shield. So, Pete being unable to effectively use his police-issue weapon, when he can tell it's a bad situation, pisses me off. He's NOT incompetent!
4. Only Jack and His Amazing Calm can get to Sam when she's mentally screwed.
To be fair, Sam saw Jack get killed, and she's got a Tok'ra memory device shoved into her head. Still, you'd think that, say, Daniel and Teal'c, the two men CLOSEST to her (I'm sorry, but Jack isn't anymore as the General, her dad is rarely there, and Pete hasn't known her for eight years) would be able to help.
Actually, I think they'd be the best candidates to calm her down. They know everything about each other, off world. There's a kind of bond... y'know?
But, no. It's Jack, Jack who has a Tok'ra symbiote, who finally calms her...
4A. Jack gets implanted with a Tok'ra, (just like Sam omg!!! Now they can talk about Jolinar!) who dies to save him, but there's never any angst.
Seriously, people. Jack would have spent a lot of time sarcastically mocking the snake in his head. He hates them, remember? And if it died, he'd be happy as a clam (and continue mocking it)...
5. Pete, the Demon and Jealous Man.
Sigh. Pete's a nice guy. He isn't going to go Jealous Insane about Sam dumping him. Yeah, he's gonna be hurt. But he isn't going to take revenge by wiping Jack's memories!
Neither is he going to be a prejudiced asshole who says shit like calling Cassie "That Alien Girl".
Seriously, people. Get over this shit.
6. Watching Jack's memories.
So. To get Jack's memories back, they have to hook him up to a Tok'ra memory device. And, for some reason, this means everyone has to watch them. Like it's some fucking movie.
No. Just NO. MAYBE Sam or Daniel or Teal'c (or all three) would watch them. But there's NO REASON to have the three of them, and Hammond and Jacob watching. In fact, there's no fucking reason for anyone to be watching them. The memory device can just... y'know, do it's thing.
And I'm not going to even get into Jack's fictitious childhood and which memories he remembers...
7. Jack is pissy about them watching but gets over it due to Sam's magnificent sex.
Understandably pissed. Hello? Heard of breach of trust, lately? That would be Jack's feeling. There's betrayal, rage, etc...
And, yet, Sam fucks him, and it's All Better! Yay!
Uh, no. This is Jack. He doesn't just let shit like this go.
8. Presidential Dispensation to have sex with each other. There was a Jack Ryan/SG crossover that actually made some good sense of this whole thing. He altered the regs for the entire base due to the secretive nature of their work and the fact that it's hard to maintain a relationship and lie when you don't see the SO but one day in seven. And it required approval of your commanding officer, etc. Special Dispensation for Jack and Sam is just... silly (and, yes, I've written it).
9. Pete, so consumed by revenge, comes to Jack's house with a gun and threatens to kill Jack.
...I've already pointed out that Pete is not really a Revenge type of guy, haven't I?
Ok, then.
He's a cop. He's boring. I doubt he has the emotional capacity to completely snap and decide that killing an Air Force General in his house, with his police-issue weapon, y'know, the one registered to him, is a good plan. Let's not even get into all the fibers he'll leave, or how easy it would be to figure out who'd done the deed.
Not to mention the six witnesses to the killing.
10. Pete fires at him, and MISSES. The man is a COP. They have FIRING RANGES. There's no way in hell he's a bad shot! Especially not at close RANGE.
Jack tells him he can't hit him. (The power of Jack compells you!) and so, Pete shoots him.
See point 9 re: evidence. See point 3 re: Pete's ability to actually hit what he shoots at.
See the fact that Jack is standing less than five feet away from a man who has probably killed in the line of duty, who probably shoots proficiently at a target 20 meters away.
The fact that Pete misses is fucking stupid.
11. Pete is handed over to SFs and then, somewhow, escapes. Yes. You read that right. SFs. The guys who are probably the toughest men on base (even if all they do is run around), and he ESCAPES.
I forgot. Jack shot Pete. So, he was damaged, and they put him in an ambulance, with two SFs.
He still overpowers them and escapes (this is beginning to feel like a bad Frankenstein movie).
12. Pete corners Sam at the mall, and makes her leave with him since it's a public place and he has a gun.
How did Pete know she was at the mall? Is he the Terminator? Does he have a tap into the city's CC system, so he can find people? Seriously, this is taking coincidence to a new height.
Second, Sam's an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel. She's probably eaten men like Pete for breakfast when in the field.
Just because he has a gun on her means diddly-squat, especially considering the fact that he missed Jack at less than six feet and he's been shot, so he's INJURED. Unless he's pumped up on drugs.
So. She's in a public place. She has a phone. She's sitting behind a table that may or may not be bolted to the floor. She has all of these people around her. Yet, instead of loudly telling him to fuck off and die and yelling for mall security, she leaves and goes with him like a meek little airhead
Dude. Someone's replaced Sam with Starbucks coffee. I want my Folger's Crystals back!
13. Sam actually lands a punch on him, but still gets knocked out when he finally pulls out the pistol and smacks her with it.
Outside in the parking lot, Sam apparently tries to make a break for it, and even lands a punch on Pete.
Suddenly, I'm getting shades of NCIS' pathetic Ari and Kate Moment when she couldn't stab him even though she knew he was a fucking terrorist who might kill her and the other two hostages!
No, no, Sam apparently gives him a black eye.
But! He doesn't shoot her! Instead, he clubs her.
Where the fuck are Sam's hand to hand LEVEL 3 combat skills? Y'know, the ones she used way the fuck back in Emancipation? The ones she's continually used for the LAST EIGHT YEARS! ?
Again, Sam has been replaced with an airhead who bears no fucking resemblance to her.
14. I've given up, now.
Seriously. My incredulity stretches only so far.
The sad thing is that there's great character bits, snark, sarcasm, humor... But it's over-shadowed by the plot which requires a suspension of belief on the level of 70% of the American population. Actually, if you believed there were WMDs in Iraq, and connections to the 9/11 bombings, this fic is RIGHT up your alley.
So, I guess I'm in the minority.
I'm taking it point by point, pretty much. This contains vague spoilers for a story called 'Memory'. My brain has blanked out on the author. (and no, me emailing her my objections wouldn't do any good, most likely. And I have no diplomacy)
1. Sam gets captured, Daniel and Teal'c return without her. Jack decides to mount a rescue mission (for some reason, Jacob is there). While he's getting ready, Shanahan calls. Jack for some reason actually tells Pete that Sam's been captured.
2. Pete demands to go on the rescue mission, otherwise he'll expose the SGC. Jack agrees.
Okay. I wanted to deal with these separately.
First of all, Jack has no business telling Pete SHIT about the SGC. Yes, he's had SOME clearance, this does not mean he can be informed of current events (remember Heroes, people? Bregmann wasn't even supposed to be in the GATEROOM for departing teams). So, no, Jack no matter how upset would not tell PETE that Sam was missing. No matter what.
However. If you can jump the mental disconnect hurdle needed for that...
Point two. If Pete threatened that, Jack is perfectly within his rights to say, "Sure, come on base." And then have Pete's ass thrown in a holding cell for TREASON. Hello? He signed a fucking disclosure agreement? This means he can have his ass thrown in jail. And no one will give a shit.
3. Pete goes through the gate, and then can't even fire his police-issued side-arm properly.
Okay. It works for me that Pete would have a little trouble, his first time through the gate. But it's not like he hasn't seen strange shit before -- and once he got over his surprise, he shot Osiris several times! Even if he didn't hit her thanks to the shield. So, Pete being unable to effectively use his police-issue weapon, when he can tell it's a bad situation, pisses me off. He's NOT incompetent!
4. Only Jack and His Amazing Calm can get to Sam when she's mentally screwed.
To be fair, Sam saw Jack get killed, and she's got a Tok'ra memory device shoved into her head. Still, you'd think that, say, Daniel and Teal'c, the two men CLOSEST to her (I'm sorry, but Jack isn't anymore as the General, her dad is rarely there, and Pete hasn't known her for eight years) would be able to help.
Actually, I think they'd be the best candidates to calm her down. They know everything about each other, off world. There's a kind of bond... y'know?
But, no. It's Jack, Jack who has a Tok'ra symbiote, who finally calms her...
4A. Jack gets implanted with a Tok'ra, (just like Sam omg!!! Now they can talk about Jolinar!) who dies to save him, but there's never any angst.
Seriously, people. Jack would have spent a lot of time sarcastically mocking the snake in his head. He hates them, remember? And if it died, he'd be happy as a clam (and continue mocking it)...
5. Pete, the Demon and Jealous Man.
Sigh. Pete's a nice guy. He isn't going to go Jealous Insane about Sam dumping him. Yeah, he's gonna be hurt. But he isn't going to take revenge by wiping Jack's memories!
Neither is he going to be a prejudiced asshole who says shit like calling Cassie "That Alien Girl".
Seriously, people. Get over this shit.
6. Watching Jack's memories.
So. To get Jack's memories back, they have to hook him up to a Tok'ra memory device. And, for some reason, this means everyone has to watch them. Like it's some fucking movie.
No. Just NO. MAYBE Sam or Daniel or Teal'c (or all three) would watch them. But there's NO REASON to have the three of them, and Hammond and Jacob watching. In fact, there's no fucking reason for anyone to be watching them. The memory device can just... y'know, do it's thing.
And I'm not going to even get into Jack's fictitious childhood and which memories he remembers...
7. Jack is pissy about them watching but gets over it due to Sam's magnificent sex.
Understandably pissed. Hello? Heard of breach of trust, lately? That would be Jack's feeling. There's betrayal, rage, etc...
And, yet, Sam fucks him, and it's All Better! Yay!
Uh, no. This is Jack. He doesn't just let shit like this go.
8. Presidential Dispensation to have sex with each other. There was a Jack Ryan/SG crossover that actually made some good sense of this whole thing. He altered the regs for the entire base due to the secretive nature of their work and the fact that it's hard to maintain a relationship and lie when you don't see the SO but one day in seven. And it required approval of your commanding officer, etc. Special Dispensation for Jack and Sam is just... silly (and, yes, I've written it).
9. Pete, so consumed by revenge, comes to Jack's house with a gun and threatens to kill Jack.
...I've already pointed out that Pete is not really a Revenge type of guy, haven't I?
Ok, then.
He's a cop. He's boring. I doubt he has the emotional capacity to completely snap and decide that killing an Air Force General in his house, with his police-issue weapon, y'know, the one registered to him, is a good plan. Let's not even get into all the fibers he'll leave, or how easy it would be to figure out who'd done the deed.
Not to mention the six witnesses to the killing.
10. Pete fires at him, and MISSES. The man is a COP. They have FIRING RANGES. There's no way in hell he's a bad shot! Especially not at close RANGE.
Jack tells him he can't hit him. (The power of Jack compells you!) and so, Pete shoots him.
See point 9 re: evidence. See point 3 re: Pete's ability to actually hit what he shoots at.
See the fact that Jack is standing less than five feet away from a man who has probably killed in the line of duty, who probably shoots proficiently at a target 20 meters away.
The fact that Pete misses is fucking stupid.
11. Pete is handed over to SFs and then, somewhow, escapes. Yes. You read that right. SFs. The guys who are probably the toughest men on base (even if all they do is run around), and he ESCAPES.
I forgot. Jack shot Pete. So, he was damaged, and they put him in an ambulance, with two SFs.
He still overpowers them and escapes (this is beginning to feel like a bad Frankenstein movie).
12. Pete corners Sam at the mall, and makes her leave with him since it's a public place and he has a gun.
How did Pete know she was at the mall? Is he the Terminator? Does he have a tap into the city's CC system, so he can find people? Seriously, this is taking coincidence to a new height.
Second, Sam's an Air Force Lieutenant Colonel. She's probably eaten men like Pete for breakfast when in the field.
Just because he has a gun on her means diddly-squat, especially considering the fact that he missed Jack at less than six feet and he's been shot, so he's INJURED. Unless he's pumped up on drugs.
So. She's in a public place. She has a phone. She's sitting behind a table that may or may not be bolted to the floor. She has all of these people around her. Yet, instead of loudly telling him to fuck off and die and yelling for mall security, she leaves and goes with him like a meek little airhead
Dude. Someone's replaced Sam with Starbucks coffee. I want my Folger's Crystals back!
13. Sam actually lands a punch on him, but still gets knocked out when he finally pulls out the pistol and smacks her with it.
Outside in the parking lot, Sam apparently tries to make a break for it, and even lands a punch on Pete.
Suddenly, I'm getting shades of NCIS' pathetic Ari and Kate Moment when she couldn't stab him even though she knew he was a fucking terrorist who might kill her and the other two hostages!
No, no, Sam apparently gives him a black eye.
But! He doesn't shoot her! Instead, he clubs her.
Where the fuck are Sam's hand to hand LEVEL 3 combat skills? Y'know, the ones she used way the fuck back in Emancipation? The ones she's continually used for the LAST EIGHT YEARS! ?
Again, Sam has been replaced with an airhead who bears no fucking resemblance to her.
14. I've given up, now.
Seriously. My incredulity stretches only so far.
The sad thing is that there's great character bits, snark, sarcasm, humor... But it's over-shadowed by the plot which requires a suspension of belief on the level of 70% of the American population. Actually, if you believed there were WMDs in Iraq, and connections to the 9/11 bombings, this fic is RIGHT up your alley.
So, I guess I'm in the minority.
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Engaged, I'd say NO.
Unless she's declared MIA, and then everyone's allowed to know.
Although you could have a moment where Daniel is telling Jack they should tell him. "Wouldn't you want to know, Jack? C'mon." "Daniel, she isn't MIA, and he isn't family." "Yet! You're splitting hairs, Jack." "And what if he decides to go insane and tell the world about the SGC?" "He's too boring to do that." "That's what Carter said about that Colton idiot." "Colson." "Right. Whatever."
...er...
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(I have done much Processing with my parents in the past few days -- which is a buzzword that basically means we analyze each other to death in conversational format -- and it has been OFFICIALLY DETERMINED that I have a one track mind, so yay, I love that in your icon so does LIZZIE (and LIZ), and that it is so clearly about SEX, YAY)
Also,
Hee.
Yay for brainwashing and Montana!
Or should that be Wyoming? ;)
Re: Hee.
This means they'll have to have MacKenzie de-program her! Like one of those cult women...
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Yeah!
(Anonymous) 2005-02-04 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)Sandy
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That watching his memories thing baffled me. And then when Pete came and everyone else showed up and six of them went into the kitchen because one guy had a gun... Well, I think I skimmed that bit and repressed it.
Didn't get up to the mall part...
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Yes.
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And, yeah, this fic has some good stuff. The characterization (when she isn't making it conform to the plot) is nearly spot-on. It's like the author said, "I've got this great plot!" and then realized too late that she'd have to shoe-horn all of this crap in to make it work...
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*nods* She's a good writer. She just couldn't make it fit the plot. Such a shame.
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