![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
things to do in Florida when you've done everything else and you've even watched Twilight 2000 times
How to fail at a convention:
1. Anyone buying a full weekend membership receives an ugly wristband. Don't bother with the slightly less failtastic badges, because those might actually look classy. Your convention-goers are probably basement-dwelling gamers who don't bathe anyway.
2. Charge for 'parties'. This makes certain the casual fan who might be interested will get bored and do other things at night (like write porn).
3. When putting on a 'slave' auction, be sure to joke about how getting women drunk so they can't remember having sex with you is awesome. Making the joke multiple times will be even better.
4. Don't bother putting out a program of events, just have printed (or handwritten) 8-by-11 signs on random doors. Maps in program books are also for losers.
5. Pretend the Saturday Night 'party' isn't just an excuse to play really awful music for your faux sex club. (starting with 'Baby Got Back' is always appropriate)
6. Give the impression of a highly insular group of fans. Back this up by shunning newcomers and fawning all over the actors.
7. When the live band finally gets a chance to play, be sure to kick them out after four songs. (it's ok, your group of slaves aren't interested in them anyway)
8. Advertising is for losers.
9. Make sure your guests are world-weary old hipsters of the convention scene. Bonus points if they're known for getting drunk a lot. Getting actors from current (and/or relevant) genre endeavors is pointless.
10. When talking the con up to people who might interested, claim it's "better than DragonCon".
(the last one is hearsay)
1. Anyone buying a full weekend membership receives an ugly wristband. Don't bother with the slightly less failtastic badges, because those might actually look classy. Your convention-goers are probably basement-dwelling gamers who don't bathe anyway.
2. Charge for 'parties'. This makes certain the casual fan who might be interested will get bored and do other things at night (like write porn).
3. When putting on a 'slave' auction, be sure to joke about how getting women drunk so they can't remember having sex with you is awesome. Making the joke multiple times will be even better.
4. Don't bother putting out a program of events, just have printed (or handwritten) 8-by-11 signs on random doors. Maps in program books are also for losers.
5. Pretend the Saturday Night 'party' isn't just an excuse to play really awful music for your faux sex club. (starting with 'Baby Got Back' is always appropriate)
6. Give the impression of a highly insular group of fans. Back this up by shunning newcomers and fawning all over the actors.
7. When the live band finally gets a chance to play, be sure to kick them out after four songs. (it's ok, your group of slaves aren't interested in them anyway)
8. Advertising is for losers.
9. Make sure your guests are world-weary old hipsters of the convention scene. Bonus points if they're known for getting drunk a lot. Getting actors from current (and/or relevant) genre endeavors is pointless.
10. When talking the con up to people who might interested, claim it's "better than DragonCon".
(the last one is hearsay)
no subject
no subject