lyssie: (Kara and Ellen agree on a lot of things)
lyssie ([personal profile] lyssie) wrote2009-03-25 12:36 am

fic: BSG, crack, When the Wind Blows, PG13

Disclaimer: not mine
genre: mpreg, crack!fic, post-Daybreak
spoilers: DAYBREAK, for reals, yo
pairings: Leoben/God, Leoben/Sam/Kara, all permutations thereof.
rating: ... PG13, vague sexual content, possibly language, adult situations
length: 2400
notes: Meres said I could mpreg Leoben if I made Sam his babydaddy. 'God' by Tori Amos is currently playing. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

When the Wind Blows
by ALC Punk!

One morning, Leoben woke up pregnant.

It wasn't the sort of thing he normally expected from the day, but he sort of rolled with it, staring down at where his hand was splayed over his abdomen.

He wondered if this was how Sharon had felt, the first time she'd realized she was pregnant. If she'd felt this mixed terror and joy and... ok, surprise. Leoben was definitely feeling some surprise. He was no Four, but he knew enough biology to know this wasn't quite right.

The patterns danced through his head for a moment, but he couldn't quit grasp them.

Perhaps this was God's will, perhaps not. He couldn't fathom it, not while puking his guts out when he tried to eat his morning algae.

-

"You're what?" Athena had no right to sound so suspicious.

Well. Maybe she had some. Leoben sighed, "Pregnant."

Maybe it wasn't suspicion, he decided, as she leaned against the nearby bulk of Karl Agathon and laughed. The sound was vaguely edged in hysteria, though he could have been basing that conclusion on one of her copies.

"How?" That was Karl, who looked dumb, confused, and maybe a little disturbed.

It would be easy to tell the truth, to simply say he didn't know. But when had Leoben ever gone for the easy out? Not to mention, admitting he didn't know something would ruin his credibility. "Perhaps it's a gift from God."

"Right." Athena said, gasping for breath, tears of amusement in her eyes, "God got you pregnant."

Karl squinted, head tilting as he looked Leoben over, "That's some immaculate conception, there..."

-

The morning sickness wasn't the worst of it. No. No, Leoben discovered a few weeks later as he stomped down the already-worn path between his peaceful little hermit cave and the farm the Agathons had started. The worst was the cravings. He could smell buttery toast, but there was none to be had and never would be, not for centuries.

Just thinking about it made his mouth water, and he seriously considered the likelihood that he could die. Then he discarded the notion as ridiculous. After all, if Kara Thrace hadn't managed it permanently, he'd be safe.

-

"I don't want to know." Those were the words Doctor Cottle said to Leoben when he presented himself. The old man chomped on his cigarette and glared, "The male of the species isn't equipped for this sort of thing, and I don't exactly have sterile facilities to remove the fetus when it's due."

Leoben tried for an enigmatic smile and tried not to feel nauseous at the smoke being blown in his face. "If it comes to that, if this isn't some... aberration."

"No." The Doc gestured, his hands steady despite the medical anomaly in front of him, "You're pregnant, all right."

-

"So who's the father?" It wasn't like Brendan Costanza really cared about the answer. But his own difficulty with children (Nicky was currently chasing Hera across the square with a handful of mud, both children shrieking enough to wake even Roslin from the dead) had made him a little more sensitive to others' problems with them.

Not that there was a reason for Leoben to be sitting in the shade of the scrubby trees (that almost weren't trees, really) by the small grouping of huts that had been built over the last few months as more and more pilots and deck crew gravitated to close ranks around the Agathons. He just sort of liked to be there, a thorn in the side, a constant reminder of other Cylons.

Or so he told himself. He refused to consider that he simply craved the company (luckily, the craving for toast had left him a week ago).

"I have my suspicions," he said glibly, his eyes distant as he gazed towards the tiny hut that Gaius Baltar had struggled to build on his own, Caprica laughing at him every time he refused her help.

"Whoa." Brendan cracked a smile, then yelped as the two children suddenly crashed into his legs, both shouting questions that demanded answers.

Leoben tuned them out, gaze shifting to the middle of nowhere as he pondered the options.

-

At six months, he was beginning to regret his initial interest and thought that it would be 'interesting' to be pregnant. His back ached continuously, his legs felt over-stuffed and his ankles... Leoben had never been a particularly vain Cylon (even the Fives had taken issue with his shirts), but the way his ankles swelled was just ridiculous.

"It doesn't get better," Athena warned him, her feet up on his table while he shuffled around, making them tea.

Leoben wasn't sure why he'd asked her to come over, other than that he sort of maybe needed advice, and she was the only woman in the nearby settlement he remotely trusted. She was one of the few who'd actually been pregnant before, too.

"Here." He dumped the mug of tea in front of her and dropped into the other chair (early rejects from Karl's carpentry experiments, and he always got a splinter or two).

"What did you want?"

Taking her tone to heart, Leoben made himself tell the straight, bald truth, "How did you know Karl was the father of your baby?"

Luckily for Athena, she wasn't drinking her tea, because Leoben's question made her laugh. She bent forward, the sound rolling between them and out into the open air before she finally regained some control. "I... do I have to tell you where babies come from, Leoben?"

"No." Steepling his clasped hands, he looked at her, his gaze calm.

Something in that gaze made her straighten, and her eyes turned dark and serious. "We had sex, Leoben. It's biology. You? I don't know. Who was the last person you had sex with?"

-

That was the problem.

Leoben was pretty sure he hadn't had sex in his current body.

At least, not in reality. His fantasy life, though... A Cylon couldn't be shot for his thoughts, could he? Even if some of them were fairly graphic projection that left him with a need that required both hands and something vaguely slick.

He had tried to maintain that monkish facade he'd started with, but there were too many times his memories would churn up things like Kara's mouth or Sam's hands. And there was something vaguely intriguing in feeling sacrilegious as he considered both of them in equal measure.

It wouldn't be hard for him to simply admit that he missed them, but he was resolutely pretending he didn't. Fantasies were normal.

Even if they were with two people who had once considered him an enemy, one of them an angel and one of them his creator.

-

"Girl," Hera announced, hand on the too-large bulge of Leoben's waist. She grinned up at him, then whirled away to babble something incomprehensible at Caprica.

Leoben put his hand where Hera's had been and felt something in the world tilt as the tiny life in his belly kicked out.

"Gonna be a fighter," Karl suggested, eyebrows raised. He'd stopped being entirely amused by it all ages ago. Babies were, after all, serious matters. Children would be their future, even strange children born to male Cylons.

"Just like her parents," answered Leoben, "Like a rock caught in a stream, the water will never wear her down until the shape of things to come has fulfilled its purpose."

Karl just snorted, "Sounds like you need a rest."

Very few seemed to put credence into Leoben's strange words and prophecies. He was mostly all right with that. His words hadn't saved humanity from destruction before, and he doubted it would make a difference now. The generation he belonged to would die out and leave the world innocent and new to the next.

-

"I hate you," Diana Seelix informed him. Nevertheless, she maintained a steady grip on his waist while staying under the arm he had slung over her shoulder.

Leoben would have liked to be able to answer in some ridiculously complicated fashion, but the pain was coming and going in waves and it was all he could do to stay on his feet. "That's nice," he gritted out, hand tightening for an instant before he realized he could hurt her and stopped.

"C'mon, keep walking." She shoved at him, getting them back into motion.

Nearby, Cottle was setting up the little he had in preparation of the surgery that would remove the baby that was suddenly very certain it wanted out. If he'd had the breath, Leoben sincerely thought he might curse God for what he'd done.

As he didn't, he simply endured.

-

Words came and went as he slipped in and out of a lucid state while Cottle worked.

In the land of tall trees and projection, Kara Thrace knelt on one side, Sam Anders on the other. Both brushed fingers across his brow and murmured encouraging words. It was surreal, neither was given much to considering him worthy of kindness, and Leoben would have asked them about that, but the pain still took too much concentration.

The forest faded when a baby shrieked in annoyance.

-

"She's beautiful," Jeanne murmured, staring down at the tiny scrap of humanity doctor Cottle had presented her with. Her four-month old son stirred in his sleep, making fitful noises before her automatic brush of fingers silenced him again.

Cottle was silent for a moment, studying her. He sighed, "It's a lot to ask of you."

"Yes." Looking at him, Jeanne let some of the cynicism she'd acquired from Paulla's teachings show through, "But her mother is gone, you said."

"Dead in childbirth. And without you, she'll die as well."

"God would mourn the loss of a child." Bending, Jeanne kissed the soft brow of the infant, then laughed a little. "Even if it were her time."

She had settled near to Gaius, determined to make him understand that they still needed him. She'd found that he rather didn't, and it had left her feeling awkward and strange until she discovered that her purpose in life was simply to nurture the next generation of God's children. This new baby was simply one more to add to the flock.

"Does she have a name, doctor?"

"Her mother was planning to name her Hestia."

Jeanne smiled a little, "After the old Gods..." She brushed a finger over the baby's face, "I suppose I cannot take that from you, little one. Hestia, you shall be."

-

Leoben woke up one day, not pregnant. He stirred on the mat they'd laid him on and tried to figure out which way was up, not to mention why he felt wrong.

It came to him when he tried to sit up, and the lines of hastily-sewn thread pulled at his skin.

"You should be dead, you know." Athena knelt next to him, her gaze strangely opaque.

"God wanted me to live."

It was a simple answer for a complicated and confusing moment in his life. Leoben licked his lips, tasting their dryness, "Where is my baby?"

Athena's lips twitched, though whether with laughter or something else he couldn't tell in the current dim light, "Cottle found a woman who'd recently given birth. She'll be given extra rations, and hopefully, the strain of two infants won't be too hard on her."

"She?"

"A baby girl, Leoben." Athena's hand touched his face, and her eyes were distant for a moment, "We named her Hestia."

-

Jeanne was humming to herself when the Cylon turned up on her doorstep. He looked half-starved and feverish, like any human down on his luck. It was hard to know what to do, and she found herself stepping back, letting him into the tiny, one-room hut she and the others had built.

With him inside, it felt too small. And even though there was a long-ago truce and armistice, a Cylon still made her nervous. She couldn't summon the old hatred, though. Not after all this time and the teachings of God's love and forgiveness. "What is it?"

"I came to bless your children," he replied.

"Bless them?"

His lips twisted into something like a smile, "We share a God, you and I. And if we are all to leave a memory of ourselves, we must do it together."

Jeanne wanted to shout at him that his words were blasphemy. But she'd heard similar sentiments since the beginning of their religion, with Gaius standing in the center and letting it all revolve around him. Gaius wasn't there to set anything into motion anymore, so maybe it was up to her. She reached out and up, hand cupping his cheek.

"Won't you sit down?"

"My name is Leoben."

"Jeanne," she gave him her name of her own free will, then gasped and caught him when he staggered and went rather white. "What is it?"

"I was injured recently." His hand clutched her arm as she helped him to the ground. "I'll be fine in a moment."

"All right."

She would have believed him if he hadn't passed out a second later.

-

Leoben woke to the feeling of a small warm body curled in the crook of his arm. Someone much larger was also on that side, hand tangled with his. Kara--

Though it couldn't be, and he knew it wasn't before he opened his eyes and found that Jeanne had been thoughtful enough to share her blankets and children with him. His child, too, he thought, craning his head to see the tiny baby girl curled so trustingly against him. The movement exhausted him, though, and he was beginning to sincerely regret not taking Cottle's advice.

His abdomen throbbed in time with his pulse and his head felt stuffed with cotton.

It was too much effort to think, and he slipped back into dreams, some of which included the visits of angels.

-

"She has my eyes."

"And my nose."

Sam snorted and leaned over the tiny baby, "Your nose? That looks like Leoben's."

A fist shoved at his shoulder, then Kara grinned a little and leaned into him. "She's going to grow up and be happy and strong."

"Yeah."

A wind circled them, ruffling Kara's hair and Sam's shirt, though the sheet covering the tiny baby didn't flutter a jot.

"We should go."

Kara nodded, but bent and brushed her lips along the baby's forehead, "Good luck, kid. Don't hate toasters, ok?"

-f-
(deleted comment)
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
I DID YES. I didn't deliberately pick her, but I was trying for tall people and Sharon wouldn't budge. Also, I elect Seelix to be re-educated in the matter of Cylon awesome.

Thank you =)

I tried hard to remain crack, but biology did me in.

[identity profile] lizardbeth-j.livejournal.com 2009-03-25 07:17 am (UTC)(link)
bwahahahaha! ILU.

so funny, especially at the beginning. Poor Leoben, so cluelessly adorable.
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
ilu, back. ;]

Thank you! =) (though, he's crankily adorable)

[identity profile] mrsdrjackson.livejournal.com 2009-03-25 12:28 pm (UTC)(link)
This is SO CUTE.

(Nicky was currently chasing Hera across the square with a handful of mud, both children shrieking enough to wake even Roslin from the dead)
<3 <3 <3
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you =)

[identity profile] shadowserenity.livejournal.com 2009-03-25 12:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm with [livejournal.com profile] palmetto - how did you make it not so cracky?

I loved Leoben in this story, particularly his interaction with the other colonists. Yay for everyone creating a little town together! I can't believe the whole Fleet wandered around and lived like hermits for the rest of their days.
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
By accident, I suspect.

I refuse to believe that the crew from Galactica split up without a fight. Besides, they know each other way too well not to want to grow old together.

Thank you =)

[identity profile] hecatesknickers.livejournal.com 2009-03-25 02:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know how you do it...first you make me like hybrid porn, and now mpreg. Leoben mpreg at that. Sigh.

It was, like others said, surprisingly not total crack. You made it funny, but touching at the same time. All the reactions were perfect.

And now I kinda sorta want Jeanne and Leoben to spend the rest of their lives taking care of babies together. >.>
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
By accident. ;]

Thank you =)

Dude, I sort of disturbingly agree with you, though Jeanne might one day kill him.
ext_14817: (BSG: I <3 Cylons)

[identity profile] meresy.livejournal.com 2009-03-25 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, don't even blame this on me, you. This is all your doing.



TOAST CRAVING.

*dies and is dead*
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
IS NOT.

*smugs*

Thank you =)

[identity profile] tnhand1022.livejournal.com 2009-03-25 06:20 pm (UTC)(link)
That did me in. I was in hysterics at the first line, and tears by last. Very well done. Pardon my long comment!


"Right." Athena said, gasping for breath, tears of amusement in her eyes, "God got you pregnant."

Karl squinted, head tilting as he looked Leoben over, "That's some immaculate conception, there..."

I love the Agatons' reaction. It's so spot-on that I can hear the Eight cackle and see the look Helo gives Leoben. And of course they're not even rattled by this revelation.


...as more and more pilots and deck crew gravitated to close ranks around the Agathons.

It's so poetic, yet makes so much sense. The Agathons are the rock, the constant, the beginning and the end.


In the land of tall trees and projection, Kara Thrace knelt on one side, Sam Anders on the other. Both brushed fingers across his brow and murmured encouraging words.

This just about broke me. Very poignant.

I could go on but won't for the sake of brevity. Suffice it to say that I loved it tons.


Concrit: ...though he could have been comparing to one of her copes.

Is that supposed to be copies?
Edited 2009-03-25 18:23 (UTC)
ext_18106: (Helo)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 02:40 am (UTC)(link)
I <3 long comments, though I'm not sure I will be as long in reply--

After everything that's happened, Sharon is just taking it all in stride. There's NOTHING that can rattle her anymore not even Kara coming back from the dead

The Agathons are the rock, the constant, the beginning and the end.

They're the only couple who remained steady, despite everything life threw at them. Also, in some ways, they're the hope for the future. And who can hate Hera? Tsk.

Yes, it is. Also, that is a horribly awkward sentence. (that's what I get for posting last night without reading back over it)

Thank you =)

[identity profile] tnhand1022.livejournal.com 2009-03-31 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
There's NOTHING that can rattle her anymore not even Kara coming back from the dead

Wait, can this be your next prompt? 'Cause I'm officially putting in a request... :)


Also, in some ways, they're the hope for the future.

They are the future. Totally. I don't think I fully appreciated their impact on the show until that final scene on Earth.
ext_18106: (Anders sweet)

[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-31 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
Only if Sam comes with her. *g*.

[identity profile] tnhand1022.livejournal.com 2009-03-31 04:54 am (UTC)(link)
Such a point was made of Starbuck being conflicted about Sharon in S2, but their friendship was never really revisited on-screen. I like to think that Athena and Helo were both there for Starbuck during S4.5, even as she kept secrets and retreated further into herself. I'd be interested to read a conversation between Athena and Starbuck at Sam's bedside.
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-31 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
oooh, you meant pre-DB. I can poke at it, I think? I've got stuff floating around from half a dozen eras that include gen ot4 and such. And Athena and Starbuck's friendship is something I want to kick Ron about.

[identity profile] tnhand1022.livejournal.com 2009-03-31 05:08 am (UTC)(link)
I couldn't see Kara popping in to visit Athena if only because she'd have to keep it from Helo. For some reason I don't see him dealing with afterlife!Kara all that well.

Woo-hoo! Poke away! ;) I'd write it myself, but am completely unable to climb inside Athena's head. No way could I do her justice.

Yes, now that you've opened my eyes to the trail of dead female bodies and non-existant female friendships, it seems that a good kicking is in order.

[identity profile] rose-griffes.livejournal.com 2009-03-25 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not even sure what to say... or whether to encourage this behavior.

*snickers*
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 02:41 am (UTC)(link)
*snickers*

You could write fic. That would distract me. ;]

[identity profile] inathunderstorm.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
LEOBEN WANTED TOAST. <333333

Awesome. OF COURSE LEOBEN WOULD END UP PREGNANT. ::DIES::
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you.

Dude, if any male would.... ;]

[identity profile] waltzforanight.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
:o

HAHAHA TOAST CRAVING. *dies*

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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
*pleased*

Thank you =)

[identity profile] sleepismyfriend.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
This is exactly what I needed today. Something completely insane to lift my spirits..

;0)
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Yay! Thank you =)
ext_3190: Red icon with logo "I drink Nozz-a-la- Cola" in cursive. (BSG: The OTHER k/l)

[identity profile] primroseburrows.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 11:01 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, this is great. Leoben craving toast and swollen ankles and who's your daddy? Made of YAY.

But really, you had me at "Leoben/God". :D
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-03-26 10:52 pm (UTC)(link)
*giggles* Thank you =)

HAH.

[identity profile] green-grrl.livejournal.com 2009-04-11 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
That's ... really awesomely awesome! I'm not sure living with Jeanne is a happily ever after, but Leoben with his God/Kara/Sam baby is. :D
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[identity profile] lyssie.livejournal.com 2009-04-12 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee. Thank you! And, no, it might not be. But at least he'd never be bored!