A funny thing happened on the way to Avengers Mansion....

[lyssie]

So, I got a link from Amazon about a new sale they've got (one that is so TOTALLY DIFFERENT from the last three thousand they've had). And I poke at the forty or so crappy movies/tv shows....

And there's one that jumps out at me, The Next Avengers...

Curious, and dreading, I clicked through to discover this description:

But all was not lost for Tony Stark (Iron Man) kept the children of the Avengers safe and raised them to become the teenage heroes of tomorrow. Now James (Son of Captain America and Black Widow), Torunn (Daughter of Thor), Azari (Son of the Black Panther), and Pym (Son of Wasp and Giant Man) must finish the fight their parents started. Soon the arrow-slinging son of Hawkeye will join their ranks but it will take more than five teens to destroy the machine that defeated their parents.

That's right, folks, a man who should never be in charge of children is raising them. And their parents are dead. And Natasha and Steve are all wtfno

The Earth is so fucked.

Comments

[cosmic.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha! Oh, man. That sounds like the bset/worst thing EVER.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

M...maybe they mean Bucky!Cap and Black Widow?

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

I was all gaping at it. KID AVENGERS.

Though, really, nothing will ever top that one episode of JLU where they got shrunk to the age of eight. THEY WERE SO ADORABLE.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

You're right! Yelena would totally screw Cap, just to get another notch on her belt. And Bucky's stupid enough to fall for it.

[lesbiassparrow.livejournal.com]

I look at the names of their parents (Black Widow! Thor! Wasp! Giant Man!) and think that even without Tony Stark stepping in, those children are all screwed.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

NAH. They ain't Summerses or Maximoffs.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Ooh...I was thinking Natasha!Black Widow, not Yelena!Black Widow.

Natasha!Black Widow and Bucky!Cap are currently dating.

I'm notably fond of him, but she is so slumming...

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

Or raised by Bruce Wayne.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

....HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

I--god. Marvel is so full of suck.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

It's actually done fairly well. But rather "Hunh?"

Brubaker just thinks Captain America should be dating a woman in a catsuit with a flying car. As this means lots of Natasha and Sharon, I'm not particularly complaining.

But apparently, he trained her when she was young and he was a brainwashed assassin.

[timjr.livejournal.com]

I've seen it. And it's so... silly. It's like... Avengers for the Avatar crowd.

And it also messes with continuity and says that Tony invented Ultron. Which made me go "WTF, You're stealing Hank's work now that he's dead?! Asshole!"

It was kinda cute, actually. But highly predictable.

[rosewildeirish.livejournal.com]

ahahahaha. Bet they all could make a mean dirty martini by the time they could walk.

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Man. There's a word for that. It's called "mary sue". It shouldn't surprise me after the Spider-Man bullshit, though.

I bet they sit around deciding who are the hot women to let their self-inserts fuck every month.

[meganbmoore.livejournal.com]

I don't really get that feeling from Brubaker so much as I do pairing type preference. Though Steve/Sharon wasn't interesting until he died. Then I started liking it.

I'm fairly certain that says bad things about me.

If it helps, Brubaker deliberately does things like have Bucky say things like "Steve's girl" just so he can have Natasha and Falcon kick him upside the head for chauvinist talk.

[ladielazarus.livejournal.com]

And identify six different types of single-malt by blind-folded taste alone by the time they were in high school...

I don't know how to react to this. I think I'm scarred for life.

But thanks for sharing. :)

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

....that actually sort of makes it worse, because he's acknowledging that he's reduced this independent female character to nothing more than a girlfriend. And laughing about it. It's so hilarious!

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

Tony always has been kind of a thief, though. So one more...

[lyssie.livejournal.com]

*snickers a lot*

[viciouswishes.livejournal.com]

It reminds me of the What If Secret Wars 25 Years Later where they never escaped, hoooked up, and had children. It's Hawkeye/She-Hulk, Captain America/Rogue, Thor/Enchantress, Dr. Doom/Enchantress, and some other questionable choices.