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crossover fic: BSG/Animaniacs: Random Scenes From a, uh, Terrible Accident
Spoilers for season four, I think?
There was a squirrel in a hat standing on the map table. Dee stared at it. The squirrel stared back. Dee had no idea how to ascertain the sex of a squirrel, but this one was wearing a hat. With a flower in it. Possibly, it was female.
Finally, appearing a little bored, the squirrel tilted her head and asked, "Got any buttermilk?"
Cylons. Cheating husbands. Dead planets. Massacres. Fine. Dee could pretty much deal with all of them. But talking squirrels? There was just something wrong with the very idea.
She mustered a bit of dignity, however, and glared. "I'm afraid we're fresh out."
"Pity." The squirrel yawned. "You mind if I catch forty winks, here? The heat's good for my back."
"No." Dee said, clinging to sanity by degrees. "Not at all."
"Good." Grinning, the squirrel set her bag down, curled up and went to sleep.
Deciding there was little to do about the squirred, Dee returned to her duties. After all, if the squirrel became a problem, she could deal with her.
-
"Hello, Nurse!"
The loud shout was the only warning Lee had before he was tackled. The young woman in question was... not precisely a woman. Maybe more a child. Lee couldn't really tell. She also looked pleased with herself.
"Uh."
"It's ok. I understand if you're overcome," Dot Warner consoled him. She batted her lashes and smiled sweetly. "I would be, too."
"Help?" Lee managed, casting around for help. His eyes lit upon Sam Anders. "Sam!"
Anders blinked, but stopped. "Yo."
Lee looked down at Dot. "I'm sure Sam would appreciate this more--he's a pyramid star and a pilot."
A sigh escaped Dot, one filled with regret and longing, "I would, but I don't poach on a girlfriend." She patted Lee's arm. "Besides, don't you enjoy the kindness o' strangers, honey?"
Deciding escaping was the better part of valor, Sam abandoned Lee to his fate and went in search of his wife.
-
"That's it," Gaius said. "I'm halucinating. You're halucinations." He half-laughed with triumph. "Go away now, I have a sermon to write."
"He thinks we're imaginary," Yakko noted, his tone dry. "What say you, sibs?"
"I am not imginary!" cried Dot. Then she grinned sweetly, "Except on Wednesdays."
"Don't suppose there's anything t'eat around here?" asked Wakko. He peered at the radio Baltar was fiddling with. "What about that?"
"You can't eat it," Baltar yelped, snatching it out of Wakko's reach.
"Can't I?" the second Warner brother asked, looking crestfallen.
"No! Oh, God, I'm speaking to you still--why won't you go away?"
"Perhaps because we find you intriguing," suggested Yakko in sepulchural tones.
"Unless you have a message from God, I don't care."
"Message?" In a quick movement, all three produced sunglasses and donned them. "No. We are, however, on a mission from God."
"To do what?"
"We don't know," admitted Dot, peering over her lenses. "If you find her, could you tell us?"
"Her? What? No!"
"Oh, please," Wakko pleaded. "I'll only eat a little of the radio."
"No! Go away!" Baltar stood, taking his radio with him as he stalked from the main room of the compound he was living in.
The Warners all heaved a sigh. Dot leaned against the wall, "Well, that showed us."
"Oh, certainly," Yakko agreed, "Of course, you know what this means."
"Dinner time?" suggested Wakko hopefully.
"No. Dr. Gaius Baltar," Yakko replied, his eyebrows waggling, "Is our new special friend."
"Oh, goody!" Dot clapped her hands.
-
"I see you got a little Cylon problem."
Tyrol jerked a little guiltily, but had to nod in agreement. He was pinned down, a centurion blocking any escape. The thing wasn't really going anywhere else, either, but that was beside the point.
The squirrel started rummaging in her purse, "Now, see, I'm old-fashioned, so I gotta go for some TNT. You like TNT?" She pulled several sticks, a timer attached to them out, and offered them to Tyrol, "You'll have to throw it, my back ain't what it used to be."
"Uh..."
"And make it quick, the timer's already set."
"Uh--shit--" Tyrol bounced up just enough to lob the handful of explosives at the centurion.
Then they both ducked back down, and a moment later, a loud explosion ripped through the corridor.
Coughing, the squirrel peered around the partition. "Heh. Heh. Good throw, sonny."
"Thanks."
-
tbc
There was a squirrel in a hat standing on the map table. Dee stared at it. The squirrel stared back. Dee had no idea how to ascertain the sex of a squirrel, but this one was wearing a hat. With a flower in it. Possibly, it was female.
Finally, appearing a little bored, the squirrel tilted her head and asked, "Got any buttermilk?"
Cylons. Cheating husbands. Dead planets. Massacres. Fine. Dee could pretty much deal with all of them. But talking squirrels? There was just something wrong with the very idea.
She mustered a bit of dignity, however, and glared. "I'm afraid we're fresh out."
"Pity." The squirrel yawned. "You mind if I catch forty winks, here? The heat's good for my back."
"No." Dee said, clinging to sanity by degrees. "Not at all."
"Good." Grinning, the squirrel set her bag down, curled up and went to sleep.
Deciding there was little to do about the squirred, Dee returned to her duties. After all, if the squirrel became a problem, she could deal with her.
-
"Hello, Nurse!"
The loud shout was the only warning Lee had before he was tackled. The young woman in question was... not precisely a woman. Maybe more a child. Lee couldn't really tell. She also looked pleased with herself.
"Uh."
"It's ok. I understand if you're overcome," Dot Warner consoled him. She batted her lashes and smiled sweetly. "I would be, too."
"Help?" Lee managed, casting around for help. His eyes lit upon Sam Anders. "Sam!"
Anders blinked, but stopped. "Yo."
Lee looked down at Dot. "I'm sure Sam would appreciate this more--he's a pyramid star and a pilot."
A sigh escaped Dot, one filled with regret and longing, "I would, but I don't poach on a girlfriend." She patted Lee's arm. "Besides, don't you enjoy the kindness o' strangers, honey?"
Deciding escaping was the better part of valor, Sam abandoned Lee to his fate and went in search of his wife.
-
"That's it," Gaius said. "I'm halucinating. You're halucinations." He half-laughed with triumph. "Go away now, I have a sermon to write."
"He thinks we're imaginary," Yakko noted, his tone dry. "What say you, sibs?"
"I am not imginary!" cried Dot. Then she grinned sweetly, "Except on Wednesdays."
"Don't suppose there's anything t'eat around here?" asked Wakko. He peered at the radio Baltar was fiddling with. "What about that?"
"You can't eat it," Baltar yelped, snatching it out of Wakko's reach.
"Can't I?" the second Warner brother asked, looking crestfallen.
"No! Oh, God, I'm speaking to you still--why won't you go away?"
"Perhaps because we find you intriguing," suggested Yakko in sepulchural tones.
"Unless you have a message from God, I don't care."
"Message?" In a quick movement, all three produced sunglasses and donned them. "No. We are, however, on a mission from God."
"To do what?"
"We don't know," admitted Dot, peering over her lenses. "If you find her, could you tell us?"
"Her? What? No!"
"Oh, please," Wakko pleaded. "I'll only eat a little of the radio."
"No! Go away!" Baltar stood, taking his radio with him as he stalked from the main room of the compound he was living in.
The Warners all heaved a sigh. Dot leaned against the wall, "Well, that showed us."
"Oh, certainly," Yakko agreed, "Of course, you know what this means."
"Dinner time?" suggested Wakko hopefully.
"No. Dr. Gaius Baltar," Yakko replied, his eyebrows waggling, "Is our new special friend."
"Oh, goody!" Dot clapped her hands.
-
"I see you got a little Cylon problem."
Tyrol jerked a little guiltily, but had to nod in agreement. He was pinned down, a centurion blocking any escape. The thing wasn't really going anywhere else, either, but that was beside the point.
The squirrel started rummaging in her purse, "Now, see, I'm old-fashioned, so I gotta go for some TNT. You like TNT?" She pulled several sticks, a timer attached to them out, and offered them to Tyrol, "You'll have to throw it, my back ain't what it used to be."
"Uh..."
"And make it quick, the timer's already set."
"Uh--shit--" Tyrol bounced up just enough to lob the handful of explosives at the centurion.
Then they both ducked back down, and a moment later, a loud explosion ripped through the corridor.
Coughing, the squirrel peered around the partition. "Heh. Heh. Good throw, sonny."
"Thanks."
-
tbc
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*dead*
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there are no words
although now I'm wondering what Rita will be singing when she shows up.............
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*dies*
"Oh, certainly," Yakko agreed, "Of course, you know what this means."
"Dinner time?" suggested Wakko hopefully.
"No. Dr. Gaius Baltar," Yakko replied, his eyebrows waggling, "Is our new special friend."
*resurrects and dies more*
I love your brain! <3
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...oh my GOD. This was such a random, amazing and inspired crossover. I was such a fan of the Animaniacs, and I'm cracking up at the thought of the Warners and Aunt Slappy running around Galactica being their very special selves.
My only complaint is: no Pinky? No Brain? How disappointing. I demand a sequel where you rectify this immediately.
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Yakko, Wakko, and Dot tormenting Baltar AHAHAHAHA. You're so awesome they haven't invented words for it yet.
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Thank you. ;)
The kids might be able to see head!Six. I haven't decided yet.