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fic: I would like this, please
I don't feel the need for a title, though I will note they aren't mine, and there are Atlantis season four spoilers.
Also.
Nominally an NCIS/Stargate: Atlantis crossover, this is what happens when one considers Teyla vs. Ziva.
There are, ah, other shows mixed in, too.
Gratuitous Thor the Asgard for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
karma_aster for being awesome.
It was the girl fight of the century, or so Tony DiNozzo claimed as he tried to round up bets on the side. Looking around the room, he called for cameras and camera-phones, anything to videotape the cat fight that was to come, so that he could put the footage up for sale and make some cash. McGee, for his part, was half-covering his face, talking about how he didn't think Gibbs was going to like this.
"Shouldn't you do something?" He asked of Colonel Sheppard, sounding almost desperate.
"Nah. I have faith in my team," the Colonel replied, obviously intending to fall on the side of his girl beating the crap out of Ziva.
Towards the center of the bullpen, Ziva David and Teyla Emmagan were circling each other, carefully. As though neither was certain which would strike first. The obvious explosion of violence to come was palpable in the air.
"Can I get fifty on Ziva?" Tony demanded of a passing NCIS agent. Agent Lee stopped and eyed him before gracing the two women with a look.
"I think," she said, her tone frosty, "That I will bet you a hundred neither of them wins."
"O-ho!" Tony crowed, but he took the bet, his eyes never quite leaving the quite fascinating sight of two very lovely and determined women, their muscles rippling in the sunlight coming through the windows behind him. At least, that's what he saw. In reality, both women were more than clothed enough for Tony to be merely fantasizing. A great deal.
Agent Lee settled in next to McGee, head straight and chin up.
Rumor had it that Ziva always had a knife on her, and while security had made Teyla leave her one weapon behind, she seemed the type to have something useful in a fight upon her person. Security would have pointed out the metal detector. But then, Ziva passed through the same detector and never set it off, either.
The two women in the center of the room paused, looking at one another. Ziva's head tilted to one side and Teyla's eyebrow went up, and then they turned to look at the gathering crowd.
"Agent DiNozzo," Teyla said, her tone dry, "Your demands for my blood are very endearing."
"I believe," said Ziva, her tone sweet, "That you now owe Agent Lee one hundred dollars."
"Uh..."
"Neither of them won, Agent DiNozzo," Lee informed him, looking up without any trace of pity in her eyes.
"Tony," Ziva smirked at him, "You're such an easy mark."
"See?" inserted the Colonel, "I told you I had complete faith in my team."
"So much faith, you were wishing you hadn't left your side-arm at the security gate," mocked Teyla.
There was the sound of hurried footsteps and Abby Sciuto came bursting around the corner. "Teyla!"
The Athosian turned and caught the other woman in a hug, her smile broad, "Abby."
"Oh my god!" Abby babbled, "It's so good to see you. I didn't think you would make it, this year--I mean, the last two, you've been--y'know--away and all, but you did!"
"Wait, they know each other?" Confused, Tony turned to Colonel Sheppard, "Did you know they knew each other?"
The Colonel looked just as baffled as he always did. Possibly, the confused expression was something his old CO had told him helped in keeping the enemy from just shooting him on sight. "No," he admitted, "I didn't."
"Abby," Teyla said, cutting across the babble firmly, though obviously with amusement and affection, "We can catch up later."
"Oh! Speaking of catching up, have you met Ziva?" Abby pulled Teyla around, still bouncing a little, "This is Ziva, Ziva, this is Teyla."
"We have met."
"Thank you, Agent DiNozzo," noted Agent Lee as she accepted the check he handed her. She moved over to the other three women. "I believe the first round is on me tonight."
"Good," Abby clapped, "And we need to get the director, and--wait, where are--"
"I will explain later," Teyla interrupted, her eyes dark with sadness. "We will raise more than a few rounds to the fallen tonight, after all."
"Kate..." murmured Abby, her light dimmed for a moment.
"Wait, McGeek, did you know they knew each other?" demanded Tony, not exactly keeping up with the conversation.
"Uh, no."
"You did, didn't you."
"No, Tony, I didn't."
"Agent McGee is right, Agent DiNozzo. He didn't know," announced Director Jenny Shepard as she strolled into the bullpen, followed by Gibbs and another Air Force Colonel, this one in a skirt.
Tony leered.
Gibbs smacked him on the back of the head.
"Sorry, boss."
"Ambassador Emmagan," greeted the Director, her hand out to Teyla, "It was kind of you to join us."
"Huh?" Now it was Colonel John Sheppard's turn to look even more confused. "Ambassador?"
"Wait, the Director isn't related to you, is she?" Tony asked.
"Ah, no. Not that I know of." John replied.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter smiled around the room, "If we're all here?" She asked Jenny Shepard.
"We'll need to make a few stops, but essentially, yes."
"Good." Carter reached up and tapped the ear piece she was wearing, "Thor, ready for transport."
Then there was a brilliant flash of light. When their eyes had adjusted to the normal lighting again, the men stared around themselves, a little dazed. Except for Agent Gibbs, who was never dazed. He moved to sit at his desk, appropriating Ziva's cup of coffee on the way. Ziva was one of the few people he worked with who didn't ruin the stuff with crap.
"Uh, boss?" Tony asked, "What the hell just happened?"
"Did they just get abducted by aliens?" McGee demanded.
Colonel Sheppard frowned, "I didn't know Teyla knew anyone on Earth."
The rest of the crowd, figuring it was just another of the Gibbs' team's stunts, wandered back to their jobs.
Aboard the Elizabeth Weir, the transporter technology of the Asgard worked quite a few more times, before Thor gave it some time to rest. Some of the places he was pulling people from were on the opposite side of the world to Washington, D.C., but the women who arrived didn't seem to mind. As the crowd grew larger, the hugs and jokes grew more risque. The girls from Wales seemed a little over-whelmed, though Toshiko Sato had been there before and Abby fell upon her with a squeak of glee that made Gwen Cooper smile.
Thor watched it all, glad to be able to provide those who had done so much for their world this moment in time to meet others who were like them. Or who weren't like them in the least. After the second round of toasts and moments of silence for those who had fallen, they filtered into groups and ever-mingling pairings. Colonel Carter, Director Sheppard and Buffy Summers made certain that the alcohol and snacks kept flowing.
It was a fascinating thing to watch them. Sometimes, fights broke out. But they never descended to utter destruction, though more than a few could have accomplished it with the blink of an eye. Or at least the weapons they still had concealed about their persons.
After retrieving a partially-frozen and laughing Vala Mal Doran from Antarctica where she had been working with the archivists to decipher more of the inscriptions, Thor settled down in a cubby-hole for the night, trusting that the others would keep the ship from imploding.
Come morning, he would have to reverse most of the transportations, and possibly help clean up the deck. Not that an Asgard Supreme Commander would stoop to such things.
Except, of course, if Samantha Carter asked him to.
-f-
Also.
Nominally an NCIS/Stargate: Atlantis crossover, this is what happens when one considers Teyla vs. Ziva.
There are, ah, other shows mixed in, too.
Gratuitous Thor the Asgard for
karma_aster for being awesome.It was the girl fight of the century, or so Tony DiNozzo claimed as he tried to round up bets on the side. Looking around the room, he called for cameras and camera-phones, anything to videotape the cat fight that was to come, so that he could put the footage up for sale and make some cash. McGee, for his part, was half-covering his face, talking about how he didn't think Gibbs was going to like this.
"Shouldn't you do something?" He asked of Colonel Sheppard, sounding almost desperate.
"Nah. I have faith in my team," the Colonel replied, obviously intending to fall on the side of his girl beating the crap out of Ziva.
Towards the center of the bullpen, Ziva David and Teyla Emmagan were circling each other, carefully. As though neither was certain which would strike first. The obvious explosion of violence to come was palpable in the air.
"Can I get fifty on Ziva?" Tony demanded of a passing NCIS agent. Agent Lee stopped and eyed him before gracing the two women with a look.
"I think," she said, her tone frosty, "That I will bet you a hundred neither of them wins."
"O-ho!" Tony crowed, but he took the bet, his eyes never quite leaving the quite fascinating sight of two very lovely and determined women, their muscles rippling in the sunlight coming through the windows behind him. At least, that's what he saw. In reality, both women were more than clothed enough for Tony to be merely fantasizing. A great deal.
Agent Lee settled in next to McGee, head straight and chin up.
Rumor had it that Ziva always had a knife on her, and while security had made Teyla leave her one weapon behind, she seemed the type to have something useful in a fight upon her person. Security would have pointed out the metal detector. But then, Ziva passed through the same detector and never set it off, either.
The two women in the center of the room paused, looking at one another. Ziva's head tilted to one side and Teyla's eyebrow went up, and then they turned to look at the gathering crowd.
"Agent DiNozzo," Teyla said, her tone dry, "Your demands for my blood are very endearing."
"I believe," said Ziva, her tone sweet, "That you now owe Agent Lee one hundred dollars."
"Uh..."
"Neither of them won, Agent DiNozzo," Lee informed him, looking up without any trace of pity in her eyes.
"Tony," Ziva smirked at him, "You're such an easy mark."
"See?" inserted the Colonel, "I told you I had complete faith in my team."
"So much faith, you were wishing you hadn't left your side-arm at the security gate," mocked Teyla.
There was the sound of hurried footsteps and Abby Sciuto came bursting around the corner. "Teyla!"
The Athosian turned and caught the other woman in a hug, her smile broad, "Abby."
"Oh my god!" Abby babbled, "It's so good to see you. I didn't think you would make it, this year--I mean, the last two, you've been--y'know--away and all, but you did!"
"Wait, they know each other?" Confused, Tony turned to Colonel Sheppard, "Did you know they knew each other?"
The Colonel looked just as baffled as he always did. Possibly, the confused expression was something his old CO had told him helped in keeping the enemy from just shooting him on sight. "No," he admitted, "I didn't."
"Abby," Teyla said, cutting across the babble firmly, though obviously with amusement and affection, "We can catch up later."
"Oh! Speaking of catching up, have you met Ziva?" Abby pulled Teyla around, still bouncing a little, "This is Ziva, Ziva, this is Teyla."
"We have met."
"Thank you, Agent DiNozzo," noted Agent Lee as she accepted the check he handed her. She moved over to the other three women. "I believe the first round is on me tonight."
"Good," Abby clapped, "And we need to get the director, and--wait, where are--"
"I will explain later," Teyla interrupted, her eyes dark with sadness. "We will raise more than a few rounds to the fallen tonight, after all."
"Kate..." murmured Abby, her light dimmed for a moment.
"Wait, McGeek, did you know they knew each other?" demanded Tony, not exactly keeping up with the conversation.
"Uh, no."
"You did, didn't you."
"No, Tony, I didn't."
"Agent McGee is right, Agent DiNozzo. He didn't know," announced Director Jenny Shepard as she strolled into the bullpen, followed by Gibbs and another Air Force Colonel, this one in a skirt.
Tony leered.
Gibbs smacked him on the back of the head.
"Sorry, boss."
"Ambassador Emmagan," greeted the Director, her hand out to Teyla, "It was kind of you to join us."
"Huh?" Now it was Colonel John Sheppard's turn to look even more confused. "Ambassador?"
"Wait, the Director isn't related to you, is she?" Tony asked.
"Ah, no. Not that I know of." John replied.
Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter smiled around the room, "If we're all here?" She asked Jenny Shepard.
"We'll need to make a few stops, but essentially, yes."
"Good." Carter reached up and tapped the ear piece she was wearing, "Thor, ready for transport."
Then there was a brilliant flash of light. When their eyes had adjusted to the normal lighting again, the men stared around themselves, a little dazed. Except for Agent Gibbs, who was never dazed. He moved to sit at his desk, appropriating Ziva's cup of coffee on the way. Ziva was one of the few people he worked with who didn't ruin the stuff with crap.
"Uh, boss?" Tony asked, "What the hell just happened?"
"Did they just get abducted by aliens?" McGee demanded.
Colonel Sheppard frowned, "I didn't know Teyla knew anyone on Earth."
The rest of the crowd, figuring it was just another of the Gibbs' team's stunts, wandered back to their jobs.
Aboard the Elizabeth Weir, the transporter technology of the Asgard worked quite a few more times, before Thor gave it some time to rest. Some of the places he was pulling people from were on the opposite side of the world to Washington, D.C., but the women who arrived didn't seem to mind. As the crowd grew larger, the hugs and jokes grew more risque. The girls from Wales seemed a little over-whelmed, though Toshiko Sato had been there before and Abby fell upon her with a squeak of glee that made Gwen Cooper smile.
Thor watched it all, glad to be able to provide those who had done so much for their world this moment in time to meet others who were like them. Or who weren't like them in the least. After the second round of toasts and moments of silence for those who had fallen, they filtered into groups and ever-mingling pairings. Colonel Carter, Director Sheppard and Buffy Summers made certain that the alcohol and snacks kept flowing.
It was a fascinating thing to watch them. Sometimes, fights broke out. But they never descended to utter destruction, though more than a few could have accomplished it with the blink of an eye. Or at least the weapons they still had concealed about their persons.
After retrieving a partially-frozen and laughing Vala Mal Doran from Antarctica where she had been working with the archivists to decipher more of the inscriptions, Thor settled down in a cubby-hole for the night, trusting that the others would keep the ship from imploding.
Come morning, he would have to reverse most of the transportations, and possibly help clean up the deck. Not that an Asgard Supreme Commander would stoop to such things.
Except, of course, if Samantha Carter asked him to.
-f-
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OMG. OMG!!!!!
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Er.
Possibly, I might really want this to happen, so I could have a lot of awesome women saving the world.
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I especially love how the men are baffled (mostly) and Thor UNDERSTANDS EVERYTHING. (Thor is also possibly made of awesome.)
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I did not set out to make the men clueless, but in this instance, they TOTALLY WOULD BE. Except for Thor. Who might be a woman, anyway. ;)
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I believe they may have taken over, once, but then GOT BORED and used the Torchwood drug Retcon to put things back.
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Nay, this MONTH!
So.much.awesome :-D
The boys so confused! The ladies all ignoring the utter stupid of the boys!
And Thor knows all :-D
Awesome :-D
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Thor is the best deux ex machina EVER.
If I could have worked in the BSG girls without it being even more headachey, I totally would have. (maybe next time AHAHAHAHA)
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He SO is!!
The BSG girls joining would have been totally awesome, but I can see how that would be headache-y.. there's always the option of a sequel or remix.. or a completely new piece of crackfic ;-)
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BUT. The BSG girls can join the next year, when the gleet gets to Earth. ;]
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Dude, I want to go, too (and, y'know, would totally write myself in there, but was being REALLY GOOD)
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Also: AGENT LEE!!!!!!! And she totally pwned Tony! *glee*
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I was recently re-watching random bits, and Agent Lee is STILL AWESOME. I want her back! Siiiigh.
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Also, I feel the random need to insert that man, I love Abby SO MUCH.
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Abby keeps sneaking into my brain all over the place, and it makes me giggle madly with glee. Much like Agent Lee, she is the AWESOMEST THING EVER. And I worry that if you put Abby and Tosh in a room together, the room would implode from the adorable geekiness.