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fic cliches...
Man. You know the worst thing about reading unfinished SG-1 fic?
I fell hard into the trapcliche of Sam and Daniel being 'siblings'. It's in a ton of them. Possibly, this is why I stopped writing so much Sam/Jack?
Also, man. Marya ficlet bit for amusement, because. I have no idea where this was going, but it amuses me (and the Marya/Mal fic is 18,000 words long. I should probably finish that, huh)
It was one of the most uncomfortable things I'd ever laid in. I think it even beat the bed of nails I bunked in one summer in a small monastary in the mountains of Peru.
Not that it was MY fault I was laying in the midst of a vast treasure trove of jewels. Diamonds, pearls, sapphires--rubies of all colours, shapes and sizes... It was a jeweler's wet dream. And it was damned painful.
"Can I get off now? I've got a diamond digging into my back and you don't wanna know where that ruby just went--"
"Madame, please!"
"Look, dude," I struggled into a sitting position, hissing as something that was probably a star-cut purple sapphire scraped an arm. "This is all well and good--treasure is useful, I'll admit. But I'm not a pirate on the high seas. Hell, it wasn't that great a life even back in the day. Nowadays, it's much simpler to just make money honestly."
"Madame..."
"Okay, so being a politician isn't exactly honest..."
I fell hard into the trapcliche of Sam and Daniel being 'siblings'. It's in a ton of them. Possibly, this is why I stopped writing so much Sam/Jack?
Also, man. Marya ficlet bit for amusement, because. I have no idea where this was going, but it amuses me (and the Marya/Mal fic is 18,000 words long. I should probably finish that, huh)
It was one of the most uncomfortable things I'd ever laid in. I think it even beat the bed of nails I bunked in one summer in a small monastary in the mountains of Peru.
Not that it was MY fault I was laying in the midst of a vast treasure trove of jewels. Diamonds, pearls, sapphires--rubies of all colours, shapes and sizes... It was a jeweler's wet dream. And it was damned painful.
"Can I get off now? I've got a diamond digging into my back and you don't wanna know where that ruby just went--"
"Madame, please!"
"Look, dude," I struggled into a sitting position, hissing as something that was probably a star-cut purple sapphire scraped an arm. "This is all well and good--treasure is useful, I'll admit. But I'm not a pirate on the high seas. Hell, it wasn't that great a life even back in the day. Nowadays, it's much simpler to just make money honestly."
"Madame..."
"Okay, so being a politician isn't exactly honest..."
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And...Marya/Mal? (I feel I should know, but...
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(Which means they're also related to McKay, Elizabeth, and about half the staff of the SGC and Atlantis. OMG, the SGC is the Mafia.)
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You try to do it on your own because you think you're a big girl now and can totally take on the world, and pretty soon, you're reading the batshit insane things where Daniel and Sam are siblings and Teal'c only shows up to throw in a random "Indeed". And then you start wondering when it all went so horribly wrong while you've found yourself in detox.
Remember kids: Friends don't let friends read badfic.
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Every once in a while, I think nothing can scar me more than I already have been scarred...and then I'm proved wrong.
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Although, whenever someone brings up the "Sam and Daniel are like siblings! They can't have sex!", I have to laugh and laugh and laugh. Because I was around for the ship wars in Evangelion. Sam and Daniel have nothing on Shinji and Rei.
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Anime/Manga loves to pair up siblings in fic/shipping almost as much as it does 2 het guys...even moreso if it's 2 male siblings...
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Marya was a Mary Sue I created ages ago (at the cackly urgings of people who are no longer active, sadly) for the X-Men universe. She has since wandered a few other places and wrecked havoc on canon. I started what I thought would be a short "let's flirt with Mal from Firefly" fic. It apparently is not short.
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Oh, nostalgia. She was fun. :)
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2. aphrodisiacs
3. had to pretend they were married
4. got drunk!
5. almost died
6. thought he/she was dead
Oh, how I love badfic cliches for sex!
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I wonder if they ever get possessed by Goauld in those fics...
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As to the Goa'uld, I don't know, but I remember once I read a fic where Hathor and Ba'al drugged Sam and Daniel up on aphrodisiacs, made them do it, and watched. It was just this horribly wrong-yet-hot trifect of kink.
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