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Entry tags:
Leverage crack!fic: Life Off the Shelf, Parker/Sophie, G
Disclaimer: Not Mine
Pairing: Parker/Sophie
Genre: Anthropomorphic. Crack.
Length: 1200 words (I don't even know what to say about the length)
Rating: G
Notes: I blame Staringiscaring on LJ, and this is for one of the prompts for Femslash_land's CCB.
Summary: Sophie is a piggy-bank. So is Parker.
Life Off the Shelf (or, The Trials and Tribulations of a Most Magnificent Pink Piggy-bank)
Parker was perfect in every way. She had a curly tail and glazed pink skin, a small scratch behind her right ear and a fixed smile. And she made Sophie's heart (if it could be said that a porcelain piggy-bank had a heart) flutter.
The life of a piggy-bank wasn't particularly exciting. Most didn't remember the factory they'd come from, or the shipping process. The first thing most of them knew was being set upon the shelf they would be sold from.
All day long, they were lined up there in the toy store where they would hold perfectly still; even when the shop assistants would dust perfunctorily and miss the back half of their bodies. Sometimes, small children would run along beneath them, and Sophie would feel a stab of jealousy whenever one of the plastic banks from the shelf below theirs (a well-dusted shelf) would be gifted to one of them.
It was something she could understand, even if she disliked it. Small children and breakable objects didn't mix--Sophie had daymares of Parker being knocked down by a careless child. She would shatter and never be there anymore.
One day, a little girl came running down the aisle and stopped in front of their shelf. She stared up and up, gaze passing right over the plastic pigs and slowing once they reached the porcelain ones. Her eyes widened as she looked with delight over the purple unicorns and orange lions and scarlet horses until the settled finally upon the pink of the pigs.
"Have you chosen, Tara?"
The little girl's mother sounded entirely indulgent, and Sophie felt hope that one of them would be going home with her. For surely a child who looked as intelligent as her would prefer porcelain to plastic!
"That one."
It took a few movements and laughing exasperation before Tara's mother carefully reached out and lifted a porcelain pink pig off the shelf.
To Sophie's horror, she watched, as Tara took Parker from her mother and held her carefully. "She is perfect, mama!"
"Honey, she has a scratch--"
"It's all right." Tara smiled at Parker, then looked up at Sophie, her gaze wistful. "This is the one I want."
"Well, if you're sure."
In reply, the little girl turned and walked up the aisle towards the sound of money and laughter.
Sophie, left alone on her shelf, gathered into herself and thought of the misery that would be the long days to come. What would she do without Parker there? How would she cope?
After several minutes, she gave herself an internal shake and focused towards the distant shelf opposite her. She would simply have to continue as she had. Missing Parker would simply become a part of her world. Later that afternoon, one of the assistants shifted the piggy-banks around and Sophie found a rather ugly little frog sat next to her now.
She determined to never give it the time of day.
After all, pigs and frogs certainly didn't mix, not even if they were piggy-banks.
Days passed. Days in which Sophie felt more and more alone. Days where Parker was not there to distract her, where Sophie thought less and less about how wonderful it would feel for a child to buy her and drop coins through her slot. It used to be that she would day-dream about being filled with piles of paper money and shiny coins. Now, she simply thought of the sad look in Parker's eyes as the little girl walked off with her.
It was possible that Sophie had imagined the last, as Parker had been out of sight by then.
Then the frog was bought for a little boy, the unicorns went to a gaggle of girl scouts and the lions, bears and red horses shuffled to a random selection of nieces and nephews as last-minute birthday gifts that no one really wants.
Sophie thought rather disconsolately that her lot would be to end up in a box in some child's attic. Or perhaps in a discount store, where no one would appreciate her.
Then the worst happened. The clearance shelf.
The last few piggies, horses and frogs were moved to a lower shelf and tagged with bright orange labels. Sophie despaired at knowing what her life had come to.
And she was feeling quite low the day a little boy came along and knelt in front of the shelf. He looked the frogs and horses over perfunctorily, then carefully studied all of the piggies before touching one of Sophie's ears. It was the one with the chip that the shop assistant hadn't even noticed when he'd plunked her down on the clearance shelf.
"Hello," said the little boy, his gaze very serious. He turned to look at the woman approaching. "Nana, I've found the one I want."
"Very good, Alec." She gave him a stern look, then inspected Sophie and gave a nod, "Now you'll be able to save your allowance."
"I'd like that," said Alec. He let Nana pick up Sophie, who felt her heart raise a little bit.
She was going to have a home! And money!
It was almost too good to be true. As Nana walked towards the laughter and sound of money, Sophie imagined all of the horrible things that could happen to her. Run over by a truck, dropped on concrete, left out for the garbage or bleached by the sun.
None of these were to come to pass.
Sophie spent many years, storing Alec's spare change and steadily-growing allowance. She grew old and a little grey around the edges as he grew up and eventually moved into his own apartment. She was there when he learned of Nana's passing, and there for his first Internet hacking adventures. She stored the spoils of 'war' as he termed it when he won fair and square at online games.
Eventually, Sophie was relegated to a shelf in an apartment, where she grew dusty and alone.
Then one day, Alec didn't come back and Sophie found herself packed into a box by impersonal movers and shipped somewhere. It was dark forever, and Sophie seriously began to imagine that being run over by a truck would have at least been more interesting.
But there was hope. Alec found the box she was in, chuckling about a new co-worker as he pulled Sophie free of her plastic bubbles.
"You're gonna love this," he told her, walking into a room that Sophie didn't recognize.
There was no one else there, and Sophie doubted that she would love anything, with no money in her belly.
But then she spotted something. On the shelf Alec was raising her towards sat another pale pink piggy-bank. It had a curly little tail and a squiggly little scratch. Instantly, Sophie recognized it.
Parker.
Her heart suddenly burst with joy as Alec set her down. "Now, you two get comfy, ok?"
They would. Sophie's frozen smile didn't get wider, but the thought was there. A part of her worried that she and Parker had been separated so long that they would never get along.
But Parker remembered her.
And so the two piggy-banks spent a long life slowly storing money, while people came and went below their shelf. They were just lucky that Tara didn't feel a need to hang onto her piggy-bank after all this time.
-f-
Pairing: Parker/Sophie
Genre: Anthropomorphic. Crack.
Length: 1200 words (I don't even know what to say about the length)
Rating: G
Notes: I blame Staringiscaring on LJ, and this is for one of the prompts for Femslash_land's CCB.
Summary: Sophie is a piggy-bank. So is Parker.
Life Off the Shelf (or, The Trials and Tribulations of a Most Magnificent Pink Piggy-bank)
Parker was perfect in every way. She had a curly tail and glazed pink skin, a small scratch behind her right ear and a fixed smile. And she made Sophie's heart (if it could be said that a porcelain piggy-bank had a heart) flutter.
The life of a piggy-bank wasn't particularly exciting. Most didn't remember the factory they'd come from, or the shipping process. The first thing most of them knew was being set upon the shelf they would be sold from.
All day long, they were lined up there in the toy store where they would hold perfectly still; even when the shop assistants would dust perfunctorily and miss the back half of their bodies. Sometimes, small children would run along beneath them, and Sophie would feel a stab of jealousy whenever one of the plastic banks from the shelf below theirs (a well-dusted shelf) would be gifted to one of them.
It was something she could understand, even if she disliked it. Small children and breakable objects didn't mix--Sophie had daymares of Parker being knocked down by a careless child. She would shatter and never be there anymore.
One day, a little girl came running down the aisle and stopped in front of their shelf. She stared up and up, gaze passing right over the plastic pigs and slowing once they reached the porcelain ones. Her eyes widened as she looked with delight over the purple unicorns and orange lions and scarlet horses until the settled finally upon the pink of the pigs.
"Have you chosen, Tara?"
The little girl's mother sounded entirely indulgent, and Sophie felt hope that one of them would be going home with her. For surely a child who looked as intelligent as her would prefer porcelain to plastic!
"That one."
It took a few movements and laughing exasperation before Tara's mother carefully reached out and lifted a porcelain pink pig off the shelf.
To Sophie's horror, she watched, as Tara took Parker from her mother and held her carefully. "She is perfect, mama!"
"Honey, she has a scratch--"
"It's all right." Tara smiled at Parker, then looked up at Sophie, her gaze wistful. "This is the one I want."
"Well, if you're sure."
In reply, the little girl turned and walked up the aisle towards the sound of money and laughter.
Sophie, left alone on her shelf, gathered into herself and thought of the misery that would be the long days to come. What would she do without Parker there? How would she cope?
After several minutes, she gave herself an internal shake and focused towards the distant shelf opposite her. She would simply have to continue as she had. Missing Parker would simply become a part of her world. Later that afternoon, one of the assistants shifted the piggy-banks around and Sophie found a rather ugly little frog sat next to her now.
She determined to never give it the time of day.
After all, pigs and frogs certainly didn't mix, not even if they were piggy-banks.
Days passed. Days in which Sophie felt more and more alone. Days where Parker was not there to distract her, where Sophie thought less and less about how wonderful it would feel for a child to buy her and drop coins through her slot. It used to be that she would day-dream about being filled with piles of paper money and shiny coins. Now, she simply thought of the sad look in Parker's eyes as the little girl walked off with her.
It was possible that Sophie had imagined the last, as Parker had been out of sight by then.
Then the frog was bought for a little boy, the unicorns went to a gaggle of girl scouts and the lions, bears and red horses shuffled to a random selection of nieces and nephews as last-minute birthday gifts that no one really wants.
Sophie thought rather disconsolately that her lot would be to end up in a box in some child's attic. Or perhaps in a discount store, where no one would appreciate her.
Then the worst happened. The clearance shelf.
The last few piggies, horses and frogs were moved to a lower shelf and tagged with bright orange labels. Sophie despaired at knowing what her life had come to.
And she was feeling quite low the day a little boy came along and knelt in front of the shelf. He looked the frogs and horses over perfunctorily, then carefully studied all of the piggies before touching one of Sophie's ears. It was the one with the chip that the shop assistant hadn't even noticed when he'd plunked her down on the clearance shelf.
"Hello," said the little boy, his gaze very serious. He turned to look at the woman approaching. "Nana, I've found the one I want."
"Very good, Alec." She gave him a stern look, then inspected Sophie and gave a nod, "Now you'll be able to save your allowance."
"I'd like that," said Alec. He let Nana pick up Sophie, who felt her heart raise a little bit.
She was going to have a home! And money!
It was almost too good to be true. As Nana walked towards the laughter and sound of money, Sophie imagined all of the horrible things that could happen to her. Run over by a truck, dropped on concrete, left out for the garbage or bleached by the sun.
None of these were to come to pass.
Sophie spent many years, storing Alec's spare change and steadily-growing allowance. She grew old and a little grey around the edges as he grew up and eventually moved into his own apartment. She was there when he learned of Nana's passing, and there for his first Internet hacking adventures. She stored the spoils of 'war' as he termed it when he won fair and square at online games.
Eventually, Sophie was relegated to a shelf in an apartment, where she grew dusty and alone.
Then one day, Alec didn't come back and Sophie found herself packed into a box by impersonal movers and shipped somewhere. It was dark forever, and Sophie seriously began to imagine that being run over by a truck would have at least been more interesting.
But there was hope. Alec found the box she was in, chuckling about a new co-worker as he pulled Sophie free of her plastic bubbles.
"You're gonna love this," he told her, walking into a room that Sophie didn't recognize.
There was no one else there, and Sophie doubted that she would love anything, with no money in her belly.
But then she spotted something. On the shelf Alec was raising her towards sat another pale pink piggy-bank. It had a curly little tail and a squiggly little scratch. Instantly, Sophie recognized it.
Parker.
Her heart suddenly burst with joy as Alec set her down. "Now, you two get comfy, ok?"
They would. Sophie's frozen smile didn't get wider, but the thought was there. A part of her worried that she and Parker had been separated so long that they would never get along.
But Parker remembered her.
And so the two piggy-banks spent a long life slowly storing money, while people came and went below their shelf. They were just lucky that Tara didn't feel a need to hang onto her piggy-bank after all this time.
-f-