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And the mayhem commences...
Log from #subcafe, as Ryss, Timey and I expound on the Cylons as Toasters, and I explain that Talkie Toaster is the Cylon God. Among other things. It ends in a three-way crossover with snark...
* Alryssa just HAD to make a Cylon reference. http://www.livejournal.com/community/metaquotes/3697535.html
[Lyssie> omg. I keep forgetting to post my Talkie Toast is the Cylon God theory.
[Nique> I kept waiting for a Cylon comment on this: http://www.livejournal.com/community/sages_of_chaos/2074553.html?thread=137249977#t137249977
* Alryssa goes to see. :P
[Alryssa> Talkie Toaster!
[Lyssie> Think about it! His plan is to make everyone eat toast and bread products, but he wants to start with a small populace....
[Nique> We have an ongoing joke about Dom and her inability to get along with toasters.
[Alryssa> Lyss: It's just so... right. And wrong. But so RIGHT.
* Alryssa tries to imagine Gaius arguing with Talkie Toaster.
[Nique> Wandering down a hallway, talking to himself... "No, I do not want any toast!"
[Lyssie> "Would you like some toast." "No, I would not!" "Not even a little? Or I could have a minion make you a nice bran muffin? They're very relaxing." "NO! I don't want any muffins or toast, or--" "Doctor?" "Just a moment, Commander." "All right." "Are you sure you don't want toast, Gaius? It's so... filling."
[Lyssie> Meanwhile, Adama is sitting there with his eyebrows raised.
[Alryssa> "Not even a Belgian waffle?"
[Alryssa> "I SAID - "
[Alryssa> *collective stare*
[Lyssie> "--I'm sorry, Commander, what did you want?"
[Alryssa> Tigh: (muttering) A straitjacket and a gag order.
* Lyssie dies laughing. "Lee is not a woman, brain."
[Alryssa> Brain: "But he wants to be."
* Alryssa flees.
* Lyssie snickers.
[Nique> His penis has become an innie?
[Alryssa> Sekritly!
[Lyssie> See, see, Lee codes as a woman in my head and Kara codes as a man, and thus, when writing a scene, I want to make them SWAP GENDERS. Except that Kara is hot, and I can keep her being a she straight. Lee, otoh...
[Alryssa> Well... it might explain that funny walk.
[Lyssie> Cally chopped it off.
[Nique> He's been emmasculated! He's a eunic!
[Alryssa> Cally keeps it in a jar. Along with that guy's ear she bit off last season.
[Lyssie> Yes.
[Alryssa> Cally's sekrit fetish: Collecting body parts.
[Alryssa> Adama's spleen.
[Alryssa> See. It all makes sense.
[Lyssie> This is true. OMG.
[Lyssie> I bet she has her mother, somewhere, preserved in amber.
* Alryssa sniggers. Or in dental filling.
* Nique eyes RP stuff and snickers. Ah, poor Dick. Nate can commiserate. Dom's been bored for ages now...
[Nique> Need to get mine a hobby or she's going to go *insane.*
[Lyssie> Dom could... have a consulting business...
[Alryssa> oh dear.
[Alryssa> On how to deal with Talkie Toasters?
[Alryssa> Toaster Exterminations Ltd.
[Alryssa> omg. Starbuck and Dom and Sam could so do that.
[Nique> OMG. Prime Sentinals=New Cylons.
[Alryssa> "OK... this thing is TOAST." "Got your stick?" "Holding!" "Heat 'em up!" "Smokin'!" "Make 'em hard!" "READY!" "Let's show this chrome-plated loser how we do things in space."
* Alryssa is so twelve.
[Lyssie> metoomg.
[Lyssie> Does this mean we get the three of them in grey jumpsuits, smoking cigarettes and carrying around nuclear accelerators on their backs?
[Nique> Yes!
[Lyssie> ...Can you 'trap' a Cylon?
[Nique> Wait.
[Nique> No. That would BE BAD.
[Nique> Even if Sam could buidl 'em.
[Alryssa> Of course you can trap a Cylon. You lure it out by pretending you're going to convert to muffinism.
[Lyssie> "No, really, I've got some butter here, I just need something warm and crunchy to put it on."
[Alryssa> And bran-filled.
[Nique> Put out pats of butter.
* Alryssa falls over.
[Alryssa> Or leave out a Sears catalogue.
[Lyssie> "Here little Cylon, we have butter for you." "And jam!" "And grape jelly."
[Lyssie> "Look! There's a special on groinal attachments this week!"
[Nique> Ha!
[Nique> "Quick! While he's checking out the chrom on that blender!"
[Lyssie> "Ow. Next time, someone else can dive-tackle the damned thing."
[Alryssa> "Black and fucking Decker my ASS."
[Alryssa> "But chrome is the new black!"
[Lyssie> "I thought pink was the new black. I feel so out of style."
[Nique> "Good thing I brought the goddamned armor piercing rounds..."
[Lyssie> "I did not agree to become part of the apocalypse." "We're stopping the apocalypse." "Apocalypse is dead, actually..."
[Alryssa> "Dammit, I already told that fucker to piss off three times this month. He's back again? What's he selling now?"
[Nique> "Once we're done with target practice, we need drinks. Big ones."
[Alryssa> "Preferably in Maui."
[Lyssie> "Can I have little umbrellas in mine?"
[Nique> "With naked cabana boys."
[Lyssie> "As long as they're not named Jack, it's all good."
* Lyssie ties Ryss to Kara and her nuclear accelerator.
[Lyssie> I'm disturbed at the mayhem Dom, Kara and Sam could accomplish.
* Alryssa` wriggles happily as Kara looks disturbed.
[Lyssie> Just don't blow the whole planet up.
[Lyssie> 's all I'm askin'.
[Alryssa`> Can we practice on Florida?
[Lyssie> Yes. And Texas.
[Alryssa`> Yay!
[Nique> Saving people from evil appliances wherever they may strike!
[Lyssie> And then retreating to Maui for margaritas served by naked cabana boys named Joel and Bob.
[Alryssa`> "And Lee." *beat* "I didn't say that out loud, did I?"
[Lyssie> "That's number ten." "Huh?" "Times I've saved the world." "...Old hat, then?" "Yeah." "It might be something like five, for me." "And I'm the best shot in the Fleet." "...so. Margaritas?" "Sounds like a better plan than a crappy barbecue at General Hammond's and a frakking medal."
[Lyssie> *snickers*
[Alryssa> Kara: *makes a face* "Gods. Tequila tastes like Viper juice."
[Lyssie> Sam: "Could be worse. There was this ceremonial drink on P24-87F that actually took the skin off Daniel's nose..."
[Nique> Dom: "Bah. Hand it over. I could live off this stuff."
[Alryssa> "Only the skin?"
[Lyssie> "I didn't look too closely. Janet handled the diagnosis."
[Nique> "I bet singed nosehair is no fun..."
[Lyssie> "Didn't sound like it was."
[Nique> "How do you diagnose that, anyway? 'Olfactory passage damaged by alien moonshine'?"
[Alryssa> "Sounds like a drinking problem to me. As in, he's got a problem getting the shot glass to reach his mouth."
[Nique> *shakes head* "Men. Can't hold their liquor."
[Lyssie> "Wouldn't surprise me. Daniel's a light-weight. Hell, Janet weighs half as much as he does, and SHE can drink him under the table."
[Alryssa> "Not much men *can* hold, other than their own dicks, and after a few rounds even that gets dodgy."
* Alryssa just HAD to make a Cylon reference. http://www.livejournal.com/community/metaquotes/3697535.html
[Lyssie> omg. I keep forgetting to post my Talkie Toast is the Cylon God theory.
[Nique> I kept waiting for a Cylon comment on this: http://www.livejournal.com/community/sages_of_chaos/2074553.html?thread=137249977#t137249977
* Alryssa goes to see. :P
[Alryssa> Talkie Toaster!
[Lyssie> Think about it! His plan is to make everyone eat toast and bread products, but he wants to start with a small populace....
[Nique> We have an ongoing joke about Dom and her inability to get along with toasters.
[Alryssa> Lyss: It's just so... right. And wrong. But so RIGHT.
* Alryssa tries to imagine Gaius arguing with Talkie Toaster.
[Nique> Wandering down a hallway, talking to himself... "No, I do not want any toast!"
[Lyssie> "Would you like some toast." "No, I would not!" "Not even a little? Or I could have a minion make you a nice bran muffin? They're very relaxing." "NO! I don't want any muffins or toast, or--" "Doctor?" "Just a moment, Commander." "All right." "Are you sure you don't want toast, Gaius? It's so... filling."
[Lyssie> Meanwhile, Adama is sitting there with his eyebrows raised.
[Alryssa> "Not even a Belgian waffle?"
[Alryssa> "I SAID - "
[Alryssa> *collective stare*
[Lyssie> "--I'm sorry, Commander, what did you want?"
[Alryssa> Tigh: (muttering) A straitjacket and a gag order.
* Lyssie dies laughing. "Lee is not a woman, brain."
[Alryssa> Brain: "But he wants to be."
* Alryssa flees.
* Lyssie snickers.
[Nique> His penis has become an innie?
[Alryssa> Sekritly!
[Lyssie> See, see, Lee codes as a woman in my head and Kara codes as a man, and thus, when writing a scene, I want to make them SWAP GENDERS. Except that Kara is hot, and I can keep her being a she straight. Lee, otoh...
[Alryssa> Well... it might explain that funny walk.
[Lyssie> Cally chopped it off.
[Nique> He's been emmasculated! He's a eunic!
[Alryssa> Cally keeps it in a jar. Along with that guy's ear she bit off last season.
[Lyssie> Yes.
[Alryssa> Cally's sekrit fetish: Collecting body parts.
[Alryssa> Adama's spleen.
[Alryssa> See. It all makes sense.
[Lyssie> This is true. OMG.
[Lyssie> I bet she has her mother, somewhere, preserved in amber.
* Alryssa sniggers. Or in dental filling.
* Nique eyes RP stuff and snickers. Ah, poor Dick. Nate can commiserate. Dom's been bored for ages now...
[Nique> Need to get mine a hobby or she's going to go *insane.*
[Lyssie> Dom could... have a consulting business...
[Alryssa> oh dear.
[Alryssa> On how to deal with Talkie Toasters?
[Alryssa> Toaster Exterminations Ltd.
[Alryssa> omg. Starbuck and Dom and Sam could so do that.
[Nique> OMG. Prime Sentinals=New Cylons.
[Alryssa> "OK... this thing is TOAST." "Got your stick?" "Holding!" "Heat 'em up!" "Smokin'!" "Make 'em hard!" "READY!" "Let's show this chrome-plated loser how we do things in space."
* Alryssa is so twelve.
[Lyssie> metoomg.
[Lyssie> Does this mean we get the three of them in grey jumpsuits, smoking cigarettes and carrying around nuclear accelerators on their backs?
[Nique> Yes!
[Lyssie> ...Can you 'trap' a Cylon?
[Nique> Wait.
[Nique> No. That would BE BAD.
[Nique> Even if Sam could buidl 'em.
[Alryssa> Of course you can trap a Cylon. You lure it out by pretending you're going to convert to muffinism.
[Lyssie> "No, really, I've got some butter here, I just need something warm and crunchy to put it on."
[Alryssa> And bran-filled.
[Nique> Put out pats of butter.
* Alryssa falls over.
[Alryssa> Or leave out a Sears catalogue.
[Lyssie> "Here little Cylon, we have butter for you." "And jam!" "And grape jelly."
[Lyssie> "Look! There's a special on groinal attachments this week!"
[Nique> Ha!
[Nique> "Quick! While he's checking out the chrom on that blender!"
[Lyssie> "Ow. Next time, someone else can dive-tackle the damned thing."
[Alryssa> "Black and fucking Decker my ASS."
[Alryssa> "But chrome is the new black!"
[Lyssie> "I thought pink was the new black. I feel so out of style."
[Nique> "Good thing I brought the goddamned armor piercing rounds..."
[Lyssie> "I did not agree to become part of the apocalypse." "We're stopping the apocalypse." "Apocalypse is dead, actually..."
[Alryssa> "Dammit, I already told that fucker to piss off three times this month. He's back again? What's he selling now?"
[Nique> "Once we're done with target practice, we need drinks. Big ones."
[Alryssa> "Preferably in Maui."
[Lyssie> "Can I have little umbrellas in mine?"
[Nique> "With naked cabana boys."
[Lyssie> "As long as they're not named Jack, it's all good."
* Lyssie ties Ryss to Kara and her nuclear accelerator.
[Lyssie> I'm disturbed at the mayhem Dom, Kara and Sam could accomplish.
* Alryssa` wriggles happily as Kara looks disturbed.
[Lyssie> Just don't blow the whole planet up.
[Lyssie> 's all I'm askin'.
[Alryssa`> Can we practice on Florida?
[Lyssie> Yes. And Texas.
[Alryssa`> Yay!
[Nique> Saving people from evil appliances wherever they may strike!
[Lyssie> And then retreating to Maui for margaritas served by naked cabana boys named Joel and Bob.
[Alryssa`> "And Lee." *beat* "I didn't say that out loud, did I?"
[Lyssie> "That's number ten." "Huh?" "Times I've saved the world." "...Old hat, then?" "Yeah." "It might be something like five, for me." "And I'm the best shot in the Fleet." "...so. Margaritas?" "Sounds like a better plan than a crappy barbecue at General Hammond's and a frakking medal."
[Lyssie> *snickers*
[Alryssa> Kara: *makes a face* "Gods. Tequila tastes like Viper juice."
[Lyssie> Sam: "Could be worse. There was this ceremonial drink on P24-87F that actually took the skin off Daniel's nose..."
[Nique> Dom: "Bah. Hand it over. I could live off this stuff."
[Alryssa> "Only the skin?"
[Lyssie> "I didn't look too closely. Janet handled the diagnosis."
[Nique> "I bet singed nosehair is no fun..."
[Lyssie> "Didn't sound like it was."
[Nique> "How do you diagnose that, anyway? 'Olfactory passage damaged by alien moonshine'?"
[Alryssa> "Sounds like a drinking problem to me. As in, he's got a problem getting the shot glass to reach his mouth."
[Nique> *shakes head* "Men. Can't hold their liquor."
[Lyssie> "Wouldn't surprise me. Daniel's a light-weight. Hell, Janet weighs half as much as he does, and SHE can drink him under the table."
[Alryssa> "Not much men *can* hold, other than their own dicks, and after a few rounds even that gets dodgy."