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Was poking through my deadjournal (OMG I was such an emobrat in 2001) and came across some amusing bits..
Random SG-1 fic:
It wasn't every day that you saw a creature with such large... mammary glands. Daniel Jackson reflected on this as he dodged another swing of its arm. It also wasn't every day that said creature tried to attack you. Although, given the engorged nipples, it was possible it wanted to mate with him. As much as he liked a roll in the hay, he would prefer doing so with something that wasn't seven feet tall, with six arms, and a giant tentacle.
Another time and place, and this creature would be called Shiva. Or maybe Kali, the Goddess of Chaos and destruction. Daniel didn't really have time to discuss her etymology. He was busy trying not to die.
Something flew past his vision and bounced off the creature. It roared a protest, but Daniel took the momentary lull in its attack to run away and hide behind his commanding officer.
"Good going, Daniel."
"It wasn't my fault, sir!"
"'Let me talk to it, sir. I speak the language.' That's what he said, right Carter?"
"Uh, yes? Sir?" Sam Carter looked a little uncomfortable.
Colonel Jack O'Neill nodded, and turned back the rampaging monster. "Right. So. Daniel, why don't you go talk to it some more."
"Um... No, sir?"
"I respectfully suggest, O'Neill, that we try another approach."
Colonel O'Neill glanced at Teal'c and nodded. "All right. I suggest we run. Now."
"Sounds like a plan, sir." Carter tossed him a salute and turned to run back the way they'd come.
Unfortunately, the creature took that moment to rear up again in anger, and one of its arms broke a supporting stalagmite/stalctite combination. The roof gave one warning rumble before it began slowly collapsing. It grew worse as the creature thrashed more. Giant rocks were hurled here and there, and some landed on SG1. Within moments, there was nothing left of the tiny cave next to the stargate except for a pile of rocks, and a drifting of dust.
And Jack O'Neill, tumbling through the air due to an unfortunate swipe of a giant tentacle.
He hit the stargate, falling into it as it shifted its aperture. And knew nothing more as unconsciousness reared its ugly head.
Silliness:
"Daniel, is there any planet where you don't have a girlfriend?"
"I'm deeply hurt, Jack. Sierjna means a lot to me."
"But," Colonel Jack O'Neill pointed out with irrefutable logic. "You'll forget her the next time something with boobs and legs winks at you."
"Not just anything, Jack."
"It has to be breathing." Teal'c confirmed.
and, finally...
I still love this line from Lovefool: Practicing her kegels like a good little post-modern feminist who's in tune with her sexuality.
Because, yeah. Dude. Hrm... Sleep now.
Random SG-1 fic:
It wasn't every day that you saw a creature with such large... mammary glands. Daniel Jackson reflected on this as he dodged another swing of its arm. It also wasn't every day that said creature tried to attack you. Although, given the engorged nipples, it was possible it wanted to mate with him. As much as he liked a roll in the hay, he would prefer doing so with something that wasn't seven feet tall, with six arms, and a giant tentacle.
Another time and place, and this creature would be called Shiva. Or maybe Kali, the Goddess of Chaos and destruction. Daniel didn't really have time to discuss her etymology. He was busy trying not to die.
Something flew past his vision and bounced off the creature. It roared a protest, but Daniel took the momentary lull in its attack to run away and hide behind his commanding officer.
"Good going, Daniel."
"It wasn't my fault, sir!"
"'Let me talk to it, sir. I speak the language.' That's what he said, right Carter?"
"Uh, yes? Sir?" Sam Carter looked a little uncomfortable.
Colonel Jack O'Neill nodded, and turned back the rampaging monster. "Right. So. Daniel, why don't you go talk to it some more."
"Um... No, sir?"
"I respectfully suggest, O'Neill, that we try another approach."
Colonel O'Neill glanced at Teal'c and nodded. "All right. I suggest we run. Now."
"Sounds like a plan, sir." Carter tossed him a salute and turned to run back the way they'd come.
Unfortunately, the creature took that moment to rear up again in anger, and one of its arms broke a supporting stalagmite/stalctite combination. The roof gave one warning rumble before it began slowly collapsing. It grew worse as the creature thrashed more. Giant rocks were hurled here and there, and some landed on SG1. Within moments, there was nothing left of the tiny cave next to the stargate except for a pile of rocks, and a drifting of dust.
And Jack O'Neill, tumbling through the air due to an unfortunate swipe of a giant tentacle.
He hit the stargate, falling into it as it shifted its aperture. And knew nothing more as unconsciousness reared its ugly head.
Silliness:
"Daniel, is there any planet where you don't have a girlfriend?"
"I'm deeply hurt, Jack. Sierjna means a lot to me."
"But," Colonel Jack O'Neill pointed out with irrefutable logic. "You'll forget her the next time something with boobs and legs winks at you."
"Not just anything, Jack."
"It has to be breathing." Teal'c confirmed.
and, finally...
I still love this line from Lovefool: Practicing her kegels like a good little post-modern feminist who's in tune with her sexuality.
Because, yeah. Dude. Hrm... Sleep now.