right...

[lyssie]

I think this mostly works. I may change bits later. But.!

For Timey's edification, I give to you
"Hallucinating Elves"
original song: "Hallucinating Elvis" copyright to Duran Duran

(I was hallucinating, I was hallucinating)

I was hallucinating Elves
Mirkwood to Rivendell
Shiny hair and pointed ears
Hallucinating Elves
Casting pretty spells
Singing with crystal voices all day

Dancing at Elrond's House
There's a limit to how much Love I can take
Do I kill them in my dreams?
'cause I dislike them so, baby, y'know

I was hallucinating, I was hallucinating, I was hallucinating...Elves

Legolas, lost in Mirkwood's gloom
'Driel buried in the river's flow
Lots of arrows, missed their marks
It seems, I've lost my touch
Then, finally, Elrond falls

I was hallucinating Elves
Zapping them like bugs
With my caddle-prod from Wal-Mart
Hallucinating Elves
Charring lots of Elves
Gaining charcoal for my new garden

Beautiful as can be
They always drive me
Batty, insane, murderously aggrieved
I'm shooting arrows as fast as may be

Elves, Elves, Bloody god-damned Elves

I was hallucinating Elves
Slashing as they stood there
Bleeding all over my new rug
Hallucinating Elves
Getting out the bleach
Wishing they could clean up themselves

I was hallucinating Elves
Rivendell's lost for now
Empty heads and soulless eyes
Hallucinating Elves
Casting ugly spells
Shrieking like batty banshees all day

I was hallucinating, I was hallucinating, I was hallucinating...Elves
Elves, Elves, Elves, Elves

Hallucinating, hallucinating, hallucinating