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Entry tags:
fic: Leverage, It Works in the Movies, R, Parker/Hardison/Eliot
disclaimer: not mine
rating: R/light NC17? Sex thats mostly implied. (it's not actually very porny)
pairing group: Parker/Alec Hardison/Eliot Spencer
length: 1400+
set: after the hospital job (Order 23 Job? I think?)
notes: yeah, no, I don't know what I'm on. I just know it popped into my head as I was driving to pick up my roommate from work (causing cursing and "the three of you need to shut the hell up." from me).
It Works in the Movies
by ALC Punk!
It had seemed a perfectly normal idea at the time, but then again, he and Eliot had been drunk and Parker--well, Alec wasn't really sure Parker could get drunk (the things that girl could do with her tongue, though, were unprintable in a lot of places). She'd seemed sober and very certain of what she was talking about at the time.
Hell, she'd practically groped him on her way to the bathroom early on in the evening.
But the actual reality of it, was a little to get used to.
"You want to what?"
"Have sex with both of you." She sounded a little annoyed at having to say it twice, like it was something they should have already agreed to months ago (when they'd all been in hiding, leading separate lives).
When he and Eliot continued to look at her silently, she made a frustrated noise and raised her hands in a gesture that Sophie had to have taught her, "Look, guys like to think of themselves with two girls. Why not a girl with two guys?"
Now that was logic Nate would use. Alec opened his mouth to point that out, and found Eliot speaking instead.
"That's different."
"Right. Different." Alec agreed. There were things that happened during sex--touching things, and Hardison wasn't exactly wanting to touch Eliot. Sure, Eliot had a nice ass, and his arms were--well, nice. But Eliot was a guy and geek stereotype or not, Alec was not into guys. Totally.
"How is it different?"
"Guys don't--" They both said, then stopped.
Parker made a face, "What, guys don't kiss? Don't have sex? Because that's wrong; Sophie showed me some movies a few weeks ago, and--"
"We're not gay, Parker." Eliot interrupted her.
Another puzzled look, then she said, "Are you sure? Because the way you guys do that bickering thing--well, Sophie was talking about it when she was drunk that night, and she was pretty sure--"
It occurred to Alec that Parker wanted to have sex. With him. Ok, with Eliot, too. But there was a real important part of this conversation he seemed to have missed. "Wait, you want to have sex with me?"
"Both of you. I thought it would, y'know, stop the weirdness."
"Weirdness? What weirdness?" Alec said, sounding puzzled, "I don't know no weirdness, what about you, man, you see weirdness?"
"Well, there was that kiss. And the way you keep trying not to, y'know--"
"Hey. HEY. Who was it tried to get her in a short skirt as a nurse?"
"Man, you said--"
Parker stomped a foot, then smiled at them when they both went silent. "So, there is some weirdness. See?"
"What about the thing, about the keys?"
"She talked to you about keys?" Eliot was giving him one of those looks again.
Alec raised his hands, "OK. Fine. Fine, there's weirdness. Fine. And you think sex will solve it."
"It always does in the movies." Parker replied, her voice cheerful, and her grin wide.
"Movies aren't always right, you know."
Parker looked between him and Eliot, and for a second, there was something almost normal in her eyes. "I know." Then the normal was gone and she grinned again. "Does that mean you're in?"
"Is this an all or nothing prospect?" Alec asked. He just wanted to know where things stood--he was sure he was already on shaky ground with her, and he wasn't sure how not to be, other than to wait for that whole weird lock analogy to make sense, though maybe it had to do with sex?
"One time offer. Both of you, naked, now. Or... or, I could go watch more gay porn with Sophie."
Well. When she put it like that...
"Hey, I've always been into experimenting."
"Man, you don't mean--"
"Oh, c'mon," Alec said, "it can't be that bad, can it?" If they didn't touch? Or kiss? With Parker in between? Ok, now that was a nice mental image.
Eliot made a noise, then shook his head, "This is stupid."
But they agreed anyway. Then again, Eliot was drunk and Alec wasn't too far behind him and Parker was... sober?
-=-
The problem was, three people in one bed meant three pairs of everything and seeing bits of each other they didn't really want to see. At one point, Alec buried his face in the pillow, muffling his complaints while Parker kissed... Eliot in a way that should not have been hot.
Which led to them deciding that tickling him was a way to solve the problem which led to, well, Alec was a little disturbed to recall he'd kissed Eliot first, but it wasn't like Eliot shoved him away, and then Parker was falling against them, giggling like a small child.
And maybe it was a little hot, with her between them, Eliot's hands on her breasts and Alec's on her hips, and both of them able to kiss along her neck until they were kissing each other.
Parker finally got what she wanted, though, leaving them all in a sweaty, tangled heap.
-=-
The awkward started the next day at breakfast. Parker had wandered off during the night, and Alec woke snuggled up against Eliot, an experience he wasn't entirely sure about. It could go one of both ways: it could be something he'd want to do again (with Parker, since that's how it had started), or it could be something he never ever wanted to do again. And he wasn't about to ask Eliot, because Eliot would probably just grunt and not talk about it anyway.
Shit, being a guy sucked sometimes. He wondered if Parker ever asked Sophie about sex, which led to some Very Wrong thoughts that he decided to keep to himself.
His Nana would smack his hand if she were there.
So breakfast was awkward, 'cause it wasn't like he could be all, "So, did you mind me groping your ass this morning?" to Eliot. Not with Nate there, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and Sophie there grumbling into her coffee. Parker was... Parker.
And the numbers were against him. Trying to avoid two people out of four was hell, especially when one liked to wander around and put on nun costumes or make faces like a fish at you.
At least, he thought that was a fish.
It was Nate who broke the silence, looking at the three of them with amusement, "So what happened, you guys go rob a bank last night or something?"
"No, we just had sex." Parker told him before leaning over to snatch a cookie off Alec's plate.
"Hey--" he started before he stopped as her words penetrated.
There was a thud from down the table, where Eliot was bent over his plate.
"You had sex?" Sophie asked, looking between them, her gaze sharpening with something like amusement, "That's so... sweet. I think." She tilted her head and looked at Parker, "Was it good?"
Parker smiled, leaning back in her chair, cookie in hand, "Yes."
"Well, good. Good."
"Good?" Nate seemed to have sort of found his voice, though he was still staring at them like they were nuts, "Sophie--"
"Oh, come now, Nate, you know sex can be a wonderful bonding experience between good, consenting adult partners."
"Yes, between two of them, not--" He gestured at them with his coffee mug.
"Three is a nice number." Parker hopped up and headed out of the room, without saying anything else.
"Look," Eliot started to say.
"NO!" Standing up with his mug in hand, Nate continued, "I don't want to know details. I'm going to... go take a walk."
"I think I'll come with you." Picking up her own mug, Sophie smiled at Eliot and Alec, "Try not to have sex on the table while we're gone."
"Hey! That's not--hey!" But there was no point, they were already out the door, muttering together. Alec slumped in his chair.
"Well, that went well."
"You think?"
"Are they gone?"
Both men jumped as Parker reappeared behind them.
"Yeah, went for a walk." Alec replied, waving a hand towards the door.
"Good." She slid between them and hopped up to sit on the table, "I was thinking about having sex on the table."
"What, now?"
"Yes, now."
Eliot made that noise again, "Parker, I don't think now is the time."
"Oh. Well. When will it be time again?"
"Ever. Not ever."
"Right."
Parker stared at them both, her shoulders slumping a little, "Oh." Then she brightened, "Wanna go rob a bank?"
Both men got to their feet, nodding and enthusiastic. Robbing a bank was much less dangerous than other... things. Even if it wasn't as naked.
-f-
rating: R/light NC17? Sex thats mostly implied. (it's not actually very porny)
length: 1400+
set: after the hospital job (Order 23 Job? I think?)
notes: yeah, no, I don't know what I'm on. I just know it popped into my head as I was driving to pick up my roommate from work (causing cursing and "the three of you need to shut the hell up." from me).
It Works in the Movies
by ALC Punk!
It had seemed a perfectly normal idea at the time, but then again, he and Eliot had been drunk and Parker--well, Alec wasn't really sure Parker could get drunk (the things that girl could do with her tongue, though, were unprintable in a lot of places). She'd seemed sober and very certain of what she was talking about at the time.
Hell, she'd practically groped him on her way to the bathroom early on in the evening.
But the actual reality of it, was a little to get used to.
"You want to what?"
"Have sex with both of you." She sounded a little annoyed at having to say it twice, like it was something they should have already agreed to months ago (when they'd all been in hiding, leading separate lives).
When he and Eliot continued to look at her silently, she made a frustrated noise and raised her hands in a gesture that Sophie had to have taught her, "Look, guys like to think of themselves with two girls. Why not a girl with two guys?"
Now that was logic Nate would use. Alec opened his mouth to point that out, and found Eliot speaking instead.
"That's different."
"Right. Different." Alec agreed. There were things that happened during sex--touching things, and Hardison wasn't exactly wanting to touch Eliot. Sure, Eliot had a nice ass, and his arms were--well, nice. But Eliot was a guy and geek stereotype or not, Alec was not into guys. Totally.
"How is it different?"
"Guys don't--" They both said, then stopped.
Parker made a face, "What, guys don't kiss? Don't have sex? Because that's wrong; Sophie showed me some movies a few weeks ago, and--"
"We're not gay, Parker." Eliot interrupted her.
Another puzzled look, then she said, "Are you sure? Because the way you guys do that bickering thing--well, Sophie was talking about it when she was drunk that night, and she was pretty sure--"
It occurred to Alec that Parker wanted to have sex. With him. Ok, with Eliot, too. But there was a real important part of this conversation he seemed to have missed. "Wait, you want to have sex with me?"
"Both of you. I thought it would, y'know, stop the weirdness."
"Weirdness? What weirdness?" Alec said, sounding puzzled, "I don't know no weirdness, what about you, man, you see weirdness?"
"Well, there was that kiss. And the way you keep trying not to, y'know--"
"Hey. HEY. Who was it tried to get her in a short skirt as a nurse?"
"Man, you said--"
Parker stomped a foot, then smiled at them when they both went silent. "So, there is some weirdness. See?"
"What about the thing, about the keys?"
"She talked to you about keys?" Eliot was giving him one of those looks again.
Alec raised his hands, "OK. Fine. Fine, there's weirdness. Fine. And you think sex will solve it."
"It always does in the movies." Parker replied, her voice cheerful, and her grin wide.
"Movies aren't always right, you know."
Parker looked between him and Eliot, and for a second, there was something almost normal in her eyes. "I know." Then the normal was gone and she grinned again. "Does that mean you're in?"
"Is this an all or nothing prospect?" Alec asked. He just wanted to know where things stood--he was sure he was already on shaky ground with her, and he wasn't sure how not to be, other than to wait for that whole weird lock analogy to make sense, though maybe it had to do with sex?
"One time offer. Both of you, naked, now. Or... or, I could go watch more gay porn with Sophie."
Well. When she put it like that...
"Hey, I've always been into experimenting."
"Man, you don't mean--"
"Oh, c'mon," Alec said, "it can't be that bad, can it?" If they didn't touch? Or kiss? With Parker in between? Ok, now that was a nice mental image.
Eliot made a noise, then shook his head, "This is stupid."
But they agreed anyway. Then again, Eliot was drunk and Alec wasn't too far behind him and Parker was... sober?
-=-
The problem was, three people in one bed meant three pairs of everything and seeing bits of each other they didn't really want to see. At one point, Alec buried his face in the pillow, muffling his complaints while Parker kissed... Eliot in a way that should not have been hot.
Which led to them deciding that tickling him was a way to solve the problem which led to, well, Alec was a little disturbed to recall he'd kissed Eliot first, but it wasn't like Eliot shoved him away, and then Parker was falling against them, giggling like a small child.
And maybe it was a little hot, with her between them, Eliot's hands on her breasts and Alec's on her hips, and both of them able to kiss along her neck until they were kissing each other.
Parker finally got what she wanted, though, leaving them all in a sweaty, tangled heap.
-=-
The awkward started the next day at breakfast. Parker had wandered off during the night, and Alec woke snuggled up against Eliot, an experience he wasn't entirely sure about. It could go one of both ways: it could be something he'd want to do again (with Parker, since that's how it had started), or it could be something he never ever wanted to do again. And he wasn't about to ask Eliot, because Eliot would probably just grunt and not talk about it anyway.
Shit, being a guy sucked sometimes. He wondered if Parker ever asked Sophie about sex, which led to some Very Wrong thoughts that he decided to keep to himself.
His Nana would smack his hand if she were there.
So breakfast was awkward, 'cause it wasn't like he could be all, "So, did you mind me groping your ass this morning?" to Eliot. Not with Nate there, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and Sophie there grumbling into her coffee. Parker was... Parker.
And the numbers were against him. Trying to avoid two people out of four was hell, especially when one liked to wander around and put on nun costumes or make faces like a fish at you.
At least, he thought that was a fish.
It was Nate who broke the silence, looking at the three of them with amusement, "So what happened, you guys go rob a bank last night or something?"
"No, we just had sex." Parker told him before leaning over to snatch a cookie off Alec's plate.
"Hey--" he started before he stopped as her words penetrated.
There was a thud from down the table, where Eliot was bent over his plate.
"You had sex?" Sophie asked, looking between them, her gaze sharpening with something like amusement, "That's so... sweet. I think." She tilted her head and looked at Parker, "Was it good?"
Parker smiled, leaning back in her chair, cookie in hand, "Yes."
"Well, good. Good."
"Good?" Nate seemed to have sort of found his voice, though he was still staring at them like they were nuts, "Sophie--"
"Oh, come now, Nate, you know sex can be a wonderful bonding experience between good, consenting adult partners."
"Yes, between two of them, not--" He gestured at them with his coffee mug.
"Three is a nice number." Parker hopped up and headed out of the room, without saying anything else.
"Look," Eliot started to say.
"NO!" Standing up with his mug in hand, Nate continued, "I don't want to know details. I'm going to... go take a walk."
"I think I'll come with you." Picking up her own mug, Sophie smiled at Eliot and Alec, "Try not to have sex on the table while we're gone."
"Hey! That's not--hey!" But there was no point, they were already out the door, muttering together. Alec slumped in his chair.
"Well, that went well."
"You think?"
"Are they gone?"
Both men jumped as Parker reappeared behind them.
"Yeah, went for a walk." Alec replied, waving a hand towards the door.
"Good." She slid between them and hopped up to sit on the table, "I was thinking about having sex on the table."
"What, now?"
"Yes, now."
Eliot made that noise again, "Parker, I don't think now is the time."
"Oh. Well. When will it be time again?"
"Ever. Not ever."
"Right."
Parker stared at them both, her shoulders slumping a little, "Oh." Then she brightened, "Wanna go rob a bank?"
Both men got to their feet, nodding and enthusiastic. Robbing a bank was much less dangerous than other... things. Even if it wasn't as naked.
-f-