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Entry tags:
fic: BSG, Outside is Mid-America, fluffy crack Kara/Sam, PG13
Disclaimer: Mine. All mine. not mine.
length: 2000+
rating: PG13, there is... inference towards the end of naked people doing naked things. I don't think it's enough for an R, though. And some language.
pairing: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders (Starbuck/Longshot), gratuitous Athena/Helo
set: er. Post-Revelations in an AU world where Sam buys Kara a house. So, y'know, Spoilers For Revelations (4.10)
notes: this is set in that same general place, with maybe a sideways step into![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
palmetto's Vegasverse, though it is also AU from that. Honestly, parts were inspired by Vegasverse. This was also begun, as cynthia_arrow declared yesterday fluffday. Mostly, though, it was because Palmetto was too quiet and I was feeling fluffy. It is also cujoy's birthday, though I'm not sure she wants to claim this as a good birthday present.
Outside is Mid-America
by ALC Punk!
It was frakking snowing again. It always seemed to be doing that. Kara didn't really mind the damned stuff, but it was annoying when she wanted to go for a run. Of course, it wasn't just the snow stopping her.
"Sam!" Her shout was sort of directed over her shoulder, towards the back of her house where her husband was busily doing something with clothes and washing soap that Kara avoided as much as possible. Sure, it was kinda fun to, say, load and unload to see who could do so faster, and then try to stop the other person from doing so--this frequently led to sex against the dryer as it whirled, which wasn't productive. Sam had banished her from the laundry room the week before, claiming she was more hindrance than help.
"What?" His shout back echoed with the distance.
"There's a kid!"
The kid stared up at Kara with wide and interested eyes. Hera Agathon was bundled into the bulkiest, most ridiculous snow-suit known to man (human OR cylon), and Kara wasn't entirely sure she had hands or feet anymore.
"Where are your parents, Hera?" Kara demanded while her husband seemed to be taking his time in replying to her shout.
They'd probably abandoned the kid, run off to get away from kid things. Whatever those were, Kara wasn't sure. She was just pretty certain that she and children didn't get along. Except for the neighborhood kids. And those really didn't count, since they were a little like small pilots, anyway. And Kara and pilots had always gotten along wonderfully.
Those times they'd tried to kick her ass and/or thrown her into the brig didn't count.
"Rang the bell," Hera announced, smiling like she was adorable and knew it.
Kara narrowed her eyes, "Cute doesn't work on me, kid."
"Hey, Hera," Sam called from behind her, his voice getting closer, "You're early."
"Sam!" Lightning-fast, the kid dodged around Kara and dove at her husband, only to be scooped up and swung around while she made vroom-vroom noises.
Kara eyed them, then shut the door and glared a little. "Sam." Her voice wasn't exactly warm. In fact, it was possible that the snow outside would have melted before her voice did.
He set Hera on her feet again and started unzipping and unbuttoning things, his big hands producing a small child from the bundle of fabric. "Sharon called and asked if I could watch her for a few hours," he said, his tone casual. Like he did that sort of thing all the time.
"Just because she and Karl want to frak?" Kara asked, trying to make it as snide as possible, despite the small child staring at her. Kids had to learn the facts of life sometime. Earlier was probably better, anyway.
Sam chuckled and scooped up Hera's outer-wear, getting the closet door open (the house had come with a foyer with a closet. Kara, still wasn't sure what she thought of that, though it was convenient when there was stuff to put in it). "Can you take her back to the kitchen while I stow this stuff?"
"What? No. I'm going for a run." Kara objected, waving the black watch-cap still in her hand. Her gloves were in a pocket, and she'd stopped worrying about a coat when she ran. The sweatshirt she'd borrowed from Sam's side of the closet worked just fine.
"All right." He shoved and hung things quickly, nodding at the door, "If you lock it, take a key."
Hera, apparently tired of being ignored, threw a balled-up sock at Kara.
It hit her in the knee and bounced off harmlessly. Kara glared at it, then at Hera. Hera looked back, eyes wide and innocent. "You threw socks at me, kid."
"She must have gotten them from my pocket," Sam said, from the depths of the closet, where he seemed to be wrestling recalcitrant coats.
Kara tossed her watch-cap at him, then dove at Hera, catching her up before she could run and surprising a squeal of mixed happiness and terror from her as she tucked the kid under her arm and headed for the kitchen. "Now you're in for it, kid."
As she jogged into the kitchen, Kara decided that she'd maybe shoot Sam later. He was kinda useful, what with the laundry thing, and being at least a little better at throwing things in the microwave than her. Plus he had warm legs, and Kara would miss having foot-warmers in the morning. She also wondered if letting Sam and Hera use the kitchen again was a good idea. If that's what Sam had planned.
The last time she'd left them alone in the kitchen, they'd decided to make cookies. After the fire department had left, Kara had informed Sam she wouldn't be speaking to him for a week. She'd kept her promise (sex didn't require words, after all, and damned if she was going to give that up).
It wasn't that Kara used the kitchen all that often, it was the principle of the thing.
"No cookies," Kara told Hera, setting her on one of the stools Chief had given them for some anniversary thing. "No cooking at all," she added, as Sam arrived in the doorway, looking a little wary.
"We're making fudge," replied Sam, "It doesn't require cooking, just the microwave."
Which wasn't cooking. They had both been clear on that for a while, though Kara's preference was for ordering out, the microwave was at least convenient when there was a foot of snow and no one was driving. At least, if they remembered to get food for it.
"Right." Kara snatched her cap from his hands, narrowing her eyes as she looked up at him.
"Promise. Kitchen'll be in one piece, this time," Sam assured her, hands cupping her face as he leaned down to kiss her.
Kara decided it wasn't worth head-butting him, and kissed him back. "I'd hate to have to shoot you, Sam. Breaking in a new husband would be hard work."
"Yeah?" The lazy word was drawled, but the look in his eyes was not-so-lazy. Like he knew how little that threat really meant.
Punching him, a little harder than normal, Kara grinned a little as he winced. "Yeah."
"Kara--"
"Back later," she interrupted him, glancing at Hera and feeling the utter domesticity of the scene for a moment. She shoved away from Sam and headed for the front door, jamming the cap on her head and pulling it over her ears before she hit the door and stepped out into the cold. The smack of the wind cleared her head a little and she pulled the door shut before taking off down the steps, not caring that they might have been a little too slick for such a stunt.
Pounding the sidewalk in a quick rhythm got her two blocks down and one over before she finally slowed into something that wasn't a head-long rush. She was a little surprised to find that she hadn't hit any icy patches and gone down. Sam would have laughed his ass off about her breaking something. Right after he took her to the emergency room, anyway.
It wasn't that Kara hated kids--the neighborhood kids had basically decided she was the coolest thing ever, for instance. But Hera was different, a complication, proof that Cylon and human could have children. And while it had been a long time since Leoben had turned a lie into illusive reality for a short moment, Kara still felt a little sensitive to it.
Not that she wanted the kids and the happy husband and the dog to come home to. But sometimes, she wondered if Sam did.
Kara turned a corner and dodged a patch of ice, skidding a little as she hit the edge of it. She laughed a little, ducking and grabbing a handful of the snow and balling it up to throw at the No Parking sign that loomed up on her right.
It hit with a clang, and she stopped, letting out a whoop.
Yeah, she still had it.
In a better frame of mind, she continued to her halfway mark, then turned and looped back, wondering if she should loop again just for the hell of it. The air was burning in her lungs, but it was a good feeling. Her knee wasn't twinging yet (it had started to, and Cottle thought it might always give her trouble if she stayed in cold climates). Kara took it all as a good sign and continued past their house and back around two or three more blocks before she returned to the front door.
Sam and Hera were sprawled on the couch, watching something that looked suspiciously like Star Wars when Kara walked in.
"I'm only showing her the good parts."
"Really?" Kara put a hand on her hip and watched as Sam fast-forwarded through several scenes, landing on a scene of the Millennium Falcon diving and ducking in a crazy maneuver while Han Solo yelled something perfectly white-bread and unobscene. He wasn't a bad pilot, Kara reflected. He just wasn't a great one.
Hera clapped with glee and then grabbed the remote from Sam. The picture jumped and landed on Obi-Wan and Darth with their light sabers. "Whoosh--" Hera clasped the remote in her hands, moving it like she had a sword, imitating the sounds on the screen and delivering Vader's final blow in sync with the Sith Lord. Then she giggled and tossed the remote back to Sam.
"She goes home soon, right?"
"Han!"
Sam ignored Kara and grinned at the kid, "That's right, Kara is Han."
A giggle escaped Hera and she climbed back up on the couch, bouncing and making more light saber noises as the gun battle raged on the screen.
Kara growled, but dropped into the over-stuffed chair Sam had bought because it was dark blue with sparkles. He claimed it reminded him of being stuck in a spaceship all the damned time or something. Secretly, Kara sort of liked the damned thing, and thought it was sort of sparkly and comfortable.
The doorbell rang before they got to Cloud City, and Hera groaned a little, but got up when Sam did. Kara stayed where she was, listening to the distant voices and not really caring if Karl and Sharon felt snubbed. She was curled up and comfortable and warm, and watching Han and Leia bicker like a couple of idiots. If Sam hadn't walked off with the remote, she would have flicked through to the light saber duel.
"Just get a room already," she muttered at the screen.
"We have one," Sam said in bemusement as he came back in.
"Do we still have a kitchen, Sammy?"
He shrugged and dropped onto the couch, "You didn't check when you got home?"
"I was cold." Kara eyed him and got up, stalking over to grab the remote from the couch cushion. She tapped it against her palm. "I'm Han, huh?"
"Mouthy pilot and rogue," was Sam's cheerful reply as he tried to swipe the remote from her.
"You know what that makes you, don't you?" Kara asked as she let him grab her by the waist and pull her down so she was straddling his legs.
Sam slid his hands under her shirt and did something complicated so his mouth was suddenly tracing a line on her skin. "Mmph?"
Regretting not dumping her sweatshirt (Sam's, really) earlier on, Kara wriggled and let him pull the shirts up and off her arms. "Leia." she said, her voice a little breathless when he kissed just below her shoulder.
"A princess?" Sam laughed, hands tugging at her pants. "Guess that sort of works." He shifted and rolled, dropping her onto the couch and nearly upsetting them both onto the floor.
Grabbing him, Kara started laughing as they wrestled to keep from falling. On-screen, Lando Calrissian showed up, and she pulled the remote out from under her back and dropped it on the floor before grabbing Sam's shoulders and dragging him to where she could push up and kiss his mouth. "I'm a hot pilot, you're a princess. Where can we go wrong?"
Things got a bit complicated for a little, and Kara was mostly naked when Sam suddenly replied, "I could tell you we blew up the microwave."
Kara wasn't really paying attention, though. And besides, she could argue about the definition of 'not blowing up the kitchen' after he gave her a good time.
-f-
length: 2000+
rating: PG13, there is... inference towards the end of naked people doing naked things. I don't think it's enough for an R, though. And some language.
pairing: Kara Thrace/Sam Anders (Starbuck/Longshot), gratuitous Athena/Helo
set: er. Post-Revelations in an AU world where Sam buys Kara a house. So, y'know, Spoilers For Revelations (4.10)
notes: this is set in that same general place, with maybe a sideways step into
palmetto's Vegasverse, though it is also AU from that. Honestly, parts were inspired by Vegasverse. This was also begun, as cynthia_arrow declared yesterday fluffday. Mostly, though, it was because Palmetto was too quiet and I was feeling fluffy. It is also cujoy's birthday, though I'm not sure she wants to claim this as a good birthday present.Outside is Mid-America
by ALC Punk!
It was frakking snowing again. It always seemed to be doing that. Kara didn't really mind the damned stuff, but it was annoying when she wanted to go for a run. Of course, it wasn't just the snow stopping her.
"Sam!" Her shout was sort of directed over her shoulder, towards the back of her house where her husband was busily doing something with clothes and washing soap that Kara avoided as much as possible. Sure, it was kinda fun to, say, load and unload to see who could do so faster, and then try to stop the other person from doing so--this frequently led to sex against the dryer as it whirled, which wasn't productive. Sam had banished her from the laundry room the week before, claiming she was more hindrance than help.
"What?" His shout back echoed with the distance.
"There's a kid!"
The kid stared up at Kara with wide and interested eyes. Hera Agathon was bundled into the bulkiest, most ridiculous snow-suit known to man (human OR cylon), and Kara wasn't entirely sure she had hands or feet anymore.
"Where are your parents, Hera?" Kara demanded while her husband seemed to be taking his time in replying to her shout.
They'd probably abandoned the kid, run off to get away from kid things. Whatever those were, Kara wasn't sure. She was just pretty certain that she and children didn't get along. Except for the neighborhood kids. And those really didn't count, since they were a little like small pilots, anyway. And Kara and pilots had always gotten along wonderfully.
Those times they'd tried to kick her ass and/or thrown her into the brig didn't count.
"Rang the bell," Hera announced, smiling like she was adorable and knew it.
Kara narrowed her eyes, "Cute doesn't work on me, kid."
"Hey, Hera," Sam called from behind her, his voice getting closer, "You're early."
"Sam!" Lightning-fast, the kid dodged around Kara and dove at her husband, only to be scooped up and swung around while she made vroom-vroom noises.
Kara eyed them, then shut the door and glared a little. "Sam." Her voice wasn't exactly warm. In fact, it was possible that the snow outside would have melted before her voice did.
He set Hera on her feet again and started unzipping and unbuttoning things, his big hands producing a small child from the bundle of fabric. "Sharon called and asked if I could watch her for a few hours," he said, his tone casual. Like he did that sort of thing all the time.
"Just because she and Karl want to frak?" Kara asked, trying to make it as snide as possible, despite the small child staring at her. Kids had to learn the facts of life sometime. Earlier was probably better, anyway.
Sam chuckled and scooped up Hera's outer-wear, getting the closet door open (the house had come with a foyer with a closet. Kara, still wasn't sure what she thought of that, though it was convenient when there was stuff to put in it). "Can you take her back to the kitchen while I stow this stuff?"
"What? No. I'm going for a run." Kara objected, waving the black watch-cap still in her hand. Her gloves were in a pocket, and she'd stopped worrying about a coat when she ran. The sweatshirt she'd borrowed from Sam's side of the closet worked just fine.
"All right." He shoved and hung things quickly, nodding at the door, "If you lock it, take a key."
Hera, apparently tired of being ignored, threw a balled-up sock at Kara.
It hit her in the knee and bounced off harmlessly. Kara glared at it, then at Hera. Hera looked back, eyes wide and innocent. "You threw socks at me, kid."
"She must have gotten them from my pocket," Sam said, from the depths of the closet, where he seemed to be wrestling recalcitrant coats.
Kara tossed her watch-cap at him, then dove at Hera, catching her up before she could run and surprising a squeal of mixed happiness and terror from her as she tucked the kid under her arm and headed for the kitchen. "Now you're in for it, kid."
As she jogged into the kitchen, Kara decided that she'd maybe shoot Sam later. He was kinda useful, what with the laundry thing, and being at least a little better at throwing things in the microwave than her. Plus he had warm legs, and Kara would miss having foot-warmers in the morning. She also wondered if letting Sam and Hera use the kitchen again was a good idea. If that's what Sam had planned.
The last time she'd left them alone in the kitchen, they'd decided to make cookies. After the fire department had left, Kara had informed Sam she wouldn't be speaking to him for a week. She'd kept her promise (sex didn't require words, after all, and damned if she was going to give that up).
It wasn't that Kara used the kitchen all that often, it was the principle of the thing.
"No cookies," Kara told Hera, setting her on one of the stools Chief had given them for some anniversary thing. "No cooking at all," she added, as Sam arrived in the doorway, looking a little wary.
"We're making fudge," replied Sam, "It doesn't require cooking, just the microwave."
Which wasn't cooking. They had both been clear on that for a while, though Kara's preference was for ordering out, the microwave was at least convenient when there was a foot of snow and no one was driving. At least, if they remembered to get food for it.
"Right." Kara snatched her cap from his hands, narrowing her eyes as she looked up at him.
"Promise. Kitchen'll be in one piece, this time," Sam assured her, hands cupping her face as he leaned down to kiss her.
Kara decided it wasn't worth head-butting him, and kissed him back. "I'd hate to have to shoot you, Sam. Breaking in a new husband would be hard work."
"Yeah?" The lazy word was drawled, but the look in his eyes was not-so-lazy. Like he knew how little that threat really meant.
Punching him, a little harder than normal, Kara grinned a little as he winced. "Yeah."
"Kara--"
"Back later," she interrupted him, glancing at Hera and feeling the utter domesticity of the scene for a moment. She shoved away from Sam and headed for the front door, jamming the cap on her head and pulling it over her ears before she hit the door and stepped out into the cold. The smack of the wind cleared her head a little and she pulled the door shut before taking off down the steps, not caring that they might have been a little too slick for such a stunt.
Pounding the sidewalk in a quick rhythm got her two blocks down and one over before she finally slowed into something that wasn't a head-long rush. She was a little surprised to find that she hadn't hit any icy patches and gone down. Sam would have laughed his ass off about her breaking something. Right after he took her to the emergency room, anyway.
It wasn't that Kara hated kids--the neighborhood kids had basically decided she was the coolest thing ever, for instance. But Hera was different, a complication, proof that Cylon and human could have children. And while it had been a long time since Leoben had turned a lie into illusive reality for a short moment, Kara still felt a little sensitive to it.
Not that she wanted the kids and the happy husband and the dog to come home to. But sometimes, she wondered if Sam did.
Kara turned a corner and dodged a patch of ice, skidding a little as she hit the edge of it. She laughed a little, ducking and grabbing a handful of the snow and balling it up to throw at the No Parking sign that loomed up on her right.
It hit with a clang, and she stopped, letting out a whoop.
Yeah, she still had it.
In a better frame of mind, she continued to her halfway mark, then turned and looped back, wondering if she should loop again just for the hell of it. The air was burning in her lungs, but it was a good feeling. Her knee wasn't twinging yet (it had started to, and Cottle thought it might always give her trouble if she stayed in cold climates). Kara took it all as a good sign and continued past their house and back around two or three more blocks before she returned to the front door.
Sam and Hera were sprawled on the couch, watching something that looked suspiciously like Star Wars when Kara walked in.
"I'm only showing her the good parts."
"Really?" Kara put a hand on her hip and watched as Sam fast-forwarded through several scenes, landing on a scene of the Millennium Falcon diving and ducking in a crazy maneuver while Han Solo yelled something perfectly white-bread and unobscene. He wasn't a bad pilot, Kara reflected. He just wasn't a great one.
Hera clapped with glee and then grabbed the remote from Sam. The picture jumped and landed on Obi-Wan and Darth with their light sabers. "Whoosh--" Hera clasped the remote in her hands, moving it like she had a sword, imitating the sounds on the screen and delivering Vader's final blow in sync with the Sith Lord. Then she giggled and tossed the remote back to Sam.
"She goes home soon, right?"
"Han!"
Sam ignored Kara and grinned at the kid, "That's right, Kara is Han."
A giggle escaped Hera and she climbed back up on the couch, bouncing and making more light saber noises as the gun battle raged on the screen.
Kara growled, but dropped into the over-stuffed chair Sam had bought because it was dark blue with sparkles. He claimed it reminded him of being stuck in a spaceship all the damned time or something. Secretly, Kara sort of liked the damned thing, and thought it was sort of sparkly and comfortable.
The doorbell rang before they got to Cloud City, and Hera groaned a little, but got up when Sam did. Kara stayed where she was, listening to the distant voices and not really caring if Karl and Sharon felt snubbed. She was curled up and comfortable and warm, and watching Han and Leia bicker like a couple of idiots. If Sam hadn't walked off with the remote, she would have flicked through to the light saber duel.
"Just get a room already," she muttered at the screen.
"We have one," Sam said in bemusement as he came back in.
"Do we still have a kitchen, Sammy?"
He shrugged and dropped onto the couch, "You didn't check when you got home?"
"I was cold." Kara eyed him and got up, stalking over to grab the remote from the couch cushion. She tapped it against her palm. "I'm Han, huh?"
"Mouthy pilot and rogue," was Sam's cheerful reply as he tried to swipe the remote from her.
"You know what that makes you, don't you?" Kara asked as she let him grab her by the waist and pull her down so she was straddling his legs.
Sam slid his hands under her shirt and did something complicated so his mouth was suddenly tracing a line on her skin. "Mmph?"
Regretting not dumping her sweatshirt (Sam's, really) earlier on, Kara wriggled and let him pull the shirts up and off her arms. "Leia." she said, her voice a little breathless when he kissed just below her shoulder.
"A princess?" Sam laughed, hands tugging at her pants. "Guess that sort of works." He shifted and rolled, dropping her onto the couch and nearly upsetting them both onto the floor.
Grabbing him, Kara started laughing as they wrestled to keep from falling. On-screen, Lando Calrissian showed up, and she pulled the remote out from under her back and dropped it on the floor before grabbing Sam's shoulders and dragging him to where she could push up and kiss his mouth. "I'm a hot pilot, you're a princess. Where can we go wrong?"
Things got a bit complicated for a little, and Kara was mostly naked when Sam suddenly replied, "I could tell you we blew up the microwave."
Kara wasn't really paying attention, though. And besides, she could argue about the definition of 'not blowing up the kitchen' after he gave her a good time.
-f-
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And I would like Sam to babysit for me. Or babysit ME. yes. lucky Kara. Except the whole unable-to-cook thing - they're both equally pathetic. *snerk*
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And Sam can also babysit me any time he wants to.
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Besides the ot4 of hotness, I think your Kara/Sam on earth being semi-domestic with the occasional Hera babysitting are my favorite bsg fics of all time.
And I agree with Cujoy and Lizardbeth...I want Sam to babysit me. I wouldn't even complain if he blew up my microwave.
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Thank you =)
Dude! Sam should babysit everyone. Or at least be there to show us all the best parts of Star Wars. ;]
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You know Kara's blown up a few things in her time, no one talks about it, though.
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Aww. I shall try to write more of them, then. =)
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I'm fond of the place, m'self, if only because it's completely silly and divorced from what I'm sure will happen in canon.
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This is an adorable image, much like the adorableness that is this whole story. Happy!Earth is a very nice place to be.
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It is a nice place to be. And I need to store it up, as Skiffy canon will not be happy.
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Except for the neighborhood kids. And those really didn't count, since they were a little like small pilots, anyway. Ahaha. And then more giggling: "That's right, Kara is Han."
You're trying to agitate ovaries, yes? Because I don't even want kids, but Sam with Hera in a snow suit is just... But I like the more serious bits with Kara, too. This story has a nice mood. Comfy, maybe?
Anyway, thanks for posting it. :)